₦airaland Forum

iwaeda:
What is the level of his qualification?

O'level

Brightgem:
I like this post, a rule for not only the malefolk but ladies as well. The sad thing is, people continue the circle they found themselves or their parents. Few are truly able to have the will not to repeat that circle and break out.

If I be your female colleague Sha, that man can't carry me anywhere, I go drop, what nonsense is that. Mean people everywhere. Makes no sense.

She apologized to me the next day and I had no option but to forgive her because I'm terrible with being angry with people. coupled with the fact that we were in a dire situation that night.

She acted on the instinct of human selfishness; that same kind of selfishness that would make a person want the best food he/she can get, and I can understand that much.

Westernlove:
A large percentage of Shiithole people are still In "Mental Slavery Mode" These kind of people are at every corner of Nigeria, be It elite, wealthy, rich, poor etc. The thing Is the poor people stupidity and foolishness Is In Abundance. Let me give you an example,
I'm currently renovating my apartment, painting and bringing In new appliances. One of my neighbors who Is quite educated came to felicitate with me and the next thing Is, Bros you suppose don marry naw. You have all the capacity to be a well comfortable family man. I just smiled and tell her my wife Is overseas and I'm planning on meeting her over there. Naso talk end.....Me that I'm planning and focusing on great things ahead.
See You can't help Nigerians, most especially the "Poor Nigerians" A lot of them have a faulty faculty of reasoning I swear......I do say It, I'm saying It again, Currently I have 3 families who seek assistance from me often. I'm only assisting them because of the Innocent children. Na these kind people dey sabi fvck pass lol......

We've almost the same experience. I've had people ask me the same obnoxious question.

In Nigeria, people consider success by one's ability to get married, whether you're capable of fending for your family or not. And it's the very societal dogma that have wrecked a lot of people

Spaxon:
Lol way back was the previous elections na

Ok, you said it as if it's been eon.

So, how did your relationship go with your man?

Olawrites:
Stop misleading people with your nasty view.


You failed at marriage doesn't mean others will.

... Are you God that determines when one should marry or not?

My bro married when he has nothing. Today he is Madly in wealth.

Just so you know, marriage give you this hustling mindset to be on your toes.

Look for someone understanding,and plan towards a future.

There's some certain age man will seek companionship

God determines one's destiny.. Sh.it happens in a jiffy.

If this is your idea of recrimination, then you suck at it. Just so we're clear; it's been eon I last had a relationship. I'm comfortable, but I presently don't have a woman friend not to talk of a wife, so, your postulation is balderdash.

Let me pretend to believe what you said about your brother: that your brother have a different story, does not mean it's the prevalent case. In fact, his case is miniscule on the scale of 1/10 as obtainable in our society. Now, no sensible man will predicate his future on the probability of 'one' against 'nine.' That's akin to looking for a needle in a haystack. Not that there's no needle in the haystack, but what are the odd of finding it.

* No, I'm not God, but even the Christian Bible says: "A man who can't provide for his family, is worse than an infidel."

Just so you know, marriage give you this hustling mindset to be on your toes.
The highlighted is one of the major lies I aforementioned.
Let's put it into perspective. If as a bachelor you earn 4k per day, then spend 1k for feeding and another 1k for miscellaneous, leaving you with 2k to save for future investment that will avail you the financial laxity to venture into other enterprise or expand existing one, thus increasing your earning power to say 10k per day. At this juncture, you're to a large extent impervious to the cost implication of running a family. So, it's fine.

Now, let's say you got married with an earning of the same 4k per day. Remember you were spending 2k as a bachelor and saving the remaining 2k for the future. What you'll discover as a married man, is that; 4k will be barely enough to service the family, leaving you on the path of stagnancy, cause you'll be feeding from hand to mouth with no savings to venture into new waters of financial promise. Basically, you'll be retrogressing with the rise in inflation and graduating family expenses. In no time, you'll be wizened with dejection and suffering, consequently embroiling the innocent children you sired, in your self inflicted debacle.


Nuff said.

EVILFOREST:
U have said it all.
Dis is exactly what I scream everyday on NAIRALAND.
I hate POVERTY....
I hate BEGGING....
I have always tried to program myself in such a way that I will be the last person to beg on earth.
Do you know why...?
The ANSWER is simple:
I am always contented with what I have.
..... and I always try to save.
Always envisage the number of kids you plan to have. Stop having unnecessary erections as a man.

MY ADVICE:
As a struggling hard working man, never never marry a Lady who lacks vision compounded with enormous BURDEN.
No matter how beautiful she is, just avoid her.
I can assure you that, you will never see that beauty again 2 months into your marriage with her.
It's better to marry a visionary WIDOW than marry an empty beautiful VIRGIN.

IF you Fail to PLAN, you have already planned to FAIL.

Hey guys!

Heed to this advice, cause this is a sage council that is ineluctable to your success if you want to have a smooth sail in life.

I want to believe you're married. Am I right?

Omar09:
35yrs.

Apt.

You have my blessing, bro. What is paramount is a better and secured future for you and your family. All other consideration is sundry.

eni4real:
Bros, this your English ehn

You are right. Financial Maturity is a must before one can embark on a sojourn of Marriage!!

May God bless our hustle(Amen)!!

Amen!!!

0neal:
With all the odds we are facing and graciously surviving through every blessed day, it baffles me why one with eyes wide open, will still add more to the challenges already on ground.

Damn!

Stories like this dey vex every fiber of my being, poverty no dey tire some people?

Well, poverty is a mental conditioning that metamorphose to reality when one approach life with complacency and imprudence. Suffice to say; people from poor homes wind up like their parents, not because of lack of requisite tools to succeed in life, but because they fail to 'right' the condition of their parents by making the same mistake, thus, setting a vicious circle of generational penury on motion.

It's the major social malaise menacing our society. Take a diagnostic review of the economic class of major perpetrators of vices in our society, and the answer is not farfetched.

OgbanjeProphet:
Punishment worse than castration need to be passed into law to discourage rape especially at this moment that rapists are running amok here and there. But such punishment or castration would surely be abused by some women and even our sars officers. Rapists deserve painful death. But it's not every man accused of rape that is guilty.

Castration should not be introduced in Nigeria or many innocent men would loose their akpa-amu.

Some women and girls can be heartless. I have seen many innocent boys punished for rape they did not commit.

A girl I know very well once approached his father's BOYI for sex in the midnight and was cought by her mother while she was still begging the boy to have sex with her. Live and there, she said it was the boy that called her into his own room for sex. The innocent boy almost committed suicide the next afternoon, thank God we were around to save him.

One of my relatives was accused of rape by his neighbour last year. He was beaten and thrown into prison for a week without proper investigation. We conducted different medical test on the supposed victim and she was declared a virgin by two different labs. Her mother latter confessed that she wanted to get back at my brother...

What did your brother do to her, cos she must pay with sweat and blood if it were me.

Omar09:
I can't believe I had the thought of getting married at the age of 25 or latest 28. But as I grew older, I've realized what you said here even before coming across it from you or any place here. Life ain't worth being in privation and bringing in kids or even adding extra burden to on one's neck.

My take is this, it's better to be comfortable before dabbling into marriage.

My brda.

I wish guys will see things from your panoramic perspective, instead of succumbing to peer pressure and societal dogma.

So, what's the age benchmark you set for marriage?

CAPSLOCKED:
JUST INCASE THEY'LL BE ALLOWED A CHANCE TO EJACULATE.

Risible!

They sicken me to the gut.

Rasbel:
I hated the way united fans were all over the place making 'mouth' prior to this game. We are not there yet and I don't even know when united fans started making pre-match noise. I am not perturbed though, we were simply outplayed. And please, don't let us start saying we didn't need this match. Our gaffer got it wrong but our season isn't over yet. Onto the Hammers. At least, we enjoyed the pre-match banters. GGMU.

You guys were obnoxious with your pre-match bragging. It won you a lot of enemies(including me), and strengthened the resolve of Chelsea to put in their best, while you guys revelled in complacency.

Anyway, the match is over and it's a done deal for Chelsea. Kudos to them

3:0

This is mauling

SweetCunt97:
Chief e never reach to insult me naa. D thing pain you differently sha

Lol. Ok, I'm sorry

SweetCunt97:
I know how envious the men there will be of the lady. They probably ganged up and killed her. Forgetting blowing off another's candle won't make yours shine any brighter.

Lol.


So it's now a gender thing. Huh Men are envious of her because she attained something they couldn't.
Need I remind you that since the inception of this contraption called 'Nigeria,' men have been the ones piloting military aircraft's until she came, you dunce.

Stop desecrating the memory of this beautiful lady with your childish gender scrimmage.

Halwit.

Lordswazz:
Poor people often make that mistake. It's almost like they find solace in the thought that even in their misery, they have something they "own" or have "achieved", which is that poverty-battered woman and child(ren) that they've deliberately ushered into their world of lack and colossal suffering.

Even if they want to believe a stupid gamble that's stacked against you 10-to-1 that marriage will automatically open doors for your financial breakthrough, why not put off giving birth until those "hoped-for" breakthroughs begin rolling in? I've never seen a poor couple who stayed without having kids 3 years post-marriage, except the lady hasn't just been able to take in naturally. People of means sometimes decide to stay 3-5 years after marriage to just enjoy the companionship of each other before deciding to give birth; but for the poor, it's like a curse (and na them born pass sef). I won't even be surprised if they don't know what family planning is, and that it's cheap, and even free in some healthcare centers.

So much sense in your post. Respect!

CAPSLOCKED:
NORMAL LEVELS.

Lol

I trekked mile's that day, because I didn't get a car and it was already late on a path that usually have ritual kidnapping.
I don't have the capacity to bear grudge, but if I have that guy at my mercy, I'll collect my own pound of flesh trifold.

Some guys are mindlessly stupid when they see women.

thesicilian:
Of course not. Your question itself assumes that I am (deliberately) building my future. With a sense of direction and purpose. But for many people it's not that simple. While some are actively praying for "destiny helpers" while doing nothing, others are just floating aimlessly through life like an object on the high sea.
Though one may posit (and rightly so) that no one should take up the 'burden' of marriage without a solid means of sustenance, we can't also ignore the fact that for many of these 'less privileged' people, family is all the have and can hope to have at least in the nearest foreseeable future.

And on a lighter note, many of them seem to be very fertile, giving birth to many children within a very short time and thus compounding their financial problems. Maybe it's nature's own way of compensating them.

Nah. I think it's a punishment. I had rather not marry throughout the course of my life, than sire kids in poverty. That's self inflicted poverty. If the man had been comfortable before marriage, then met misfortune in marriage, that would be understandable and tenable.

The truth is that, the men usually end up thinking about their life like this.

UDUJ:
I took the time to read through and I must say I am impressed.

I hold a similar line of thought that frowns at how young men are pushed into marriages they never wanted in the first place just because they want to succumb to societal dictates. Sadly it's so prevalent in this part of the world.

Yes, but i think people have influence over our life as much as we're willing to give them.

They can only gore you on, but will not be there to bear the brunt with you. So, why be complicit with people pushing you to debacle?

It's better to marry at your own time and pace, irrespective of age.

thesicilian:
Life is never black and white, there are many grey areas.
Some marriages actually bring good fortune in terms of opportunities, but that's usually when you get married to someone from a higher social class, or at least someone with vision and ambition, not a chronic liability.

You're correct, but if we should put it into perspective; such scenario happen 1/10. That's on the infinitesimal.

Would you build your future on a precarious foundation?

decatalyst:
1. Thank you for lending help to that frustrated man and for at least alleviating his misery for a few days with the 10k.

2. Someone can be a victim of circumstance and choose to remain a victim of the circumstance or jakpa from it! Like the common saying 'how does a poor man manage to have erection...even sustained enough to donate a baby'?

Lol. Baba, when i was coming up as a lad. I had a clique with so much ambition. The brightest and most handsome among us jumped into marriage with nothing palpable to sustain him.

Now, he's a shadow of himself subsisting on the magnanimity of our group and the little he can muster for himself. When I look at him now, I begin to wonder if he's the same bright lad that earned our awe and we looked up to. The dude is looking like my father now. Quite painful, because he profligates also(not wise with money).

Planning is the key. You're on point, bro.

Sup guys. I've something that have always earned the acme of my discountenance. And that's how men crudely jump into marriage in other to conform to societal dictate or for some selfish satisfaction.
This have gotten me pensive and I'll make no ado in getting to the nucleus of the issue.

Yesterday, I was headed toward gwarimpa, and on my way I noticed a disheveled young guy around Efab estate trekking by the express.
As a rule, I always give such guys 'lift,' because i was once with a female colleague in a lonely path that seldom have cars coming our way, suddenly one private car stopped and when I tried entering after my female colleague boarded, the SIMPson bounced me out and zoomed off with an empty back seat.

That incident birthed in me a sense of solidarity and understanding of what men go through just for being men, but yesterday, I was so incensed by a botch job my mechanic did that I drove past. After about 4 hours when I had everything sorted and was heading back, I saw the same guy heading toward my direction again(it's a dual carriage way) and he was sweating profusely, so I beckoned on him to enter. We got talking and I inquired why he's trekking such a long distance. He said: he went to look for a job that wasn't successful and he's going back to Arab road.
But this is just a miniscule of the guy's travail. He grew up in abject poverty.In fact, they gave birth to him and his sister in an uncompleted building. His dad died in that building, his sister got pregnant for some riffraff and they started what we call "abuja marriage", his mom subsequently fell sick and died in the same uncompleted building. Then the owner of the building decided to complete it, and drove him away.

Now, this guy was able to get another uncompleted building to stay, and as I'm typing this, he's with wife and kids. This is a person that don't have food at home and can not afford N150 to and fro.

I gave him 10k but I was so mad with him; I mean, I was disconcertingly appalled that this guy will think of marriage in his privation. Why not be a little bit comfortable before considering marriage, instead to face life with the dignity of a breadline.

Sadly, this is the same mistake lot of guy's have been making thinking they'll fall into some stupendous money as soon as they marry, and this is mostly perpetuated by religious charlatans who say; a man's destiny is predicated on his future wife, that as soon as he gets married, the special blessing tied to marriage will start opening way for him.

That's a mendacious twaddle that will leave you in a precarious situation. Please guys, have 'comfort' afoot before you dabble into marriage.

What's your take on this?

NewDelhi:
Most people talk to hausa hustlers anyhow. They see them as lesser human beings. Most especially those shoe cobblers . A small boy or girl who is yoruba or any other tribe will be talking rudely to a shoe cobbler old enough to be his uncle.

These people are humans too.

As much as i don't endorse any form of discriminatory act, it's also pertinent that I point that the Hausas(Muslims one's) you're holding brief for, are also guilty of a worse form of discrimination.

I know this because I was birthed in the north, and I know the nitty gritty about them. Have you heard of the word "kafir?" That's what they call none Muslims who they all consider infidels that should be purged from the surface of the earth.
It'll only take an announcement on Friday at their mosque, for you to understand what real discrimination and hatred can make humans do - discrimination that can only be appeased with human life's.
When I was still there as a young lad, I remember me and my parents were always bouncing in and out of barracks for cover, when there's a nuance of political tension happening as far away as irag, Afghanistan et al.

If you go into the core north that have less exposure, some of them don't even shake hands with none Muslims, cos they consider them filthy. So, when next you want to hold brief for a group in denunciation of others, make sure the people you're making a case for, are not guilty of same thing or even worse.

Simplyleo:
B4 opening this thread, I was 98 percent sure of the perpetrators and I wasn't disappointed.

heendrix:
This is a case of Ipob killing Ipob it's not our business

Upon interrogation, Moses a 27-year-old native of Auchi, said his friend’s ghost had been hunting him since the day he killed him.

If you want to be a tribal bigot, At least, be sensible and make sure the people you're throwing your dirty invectives at, are actually culpable.

You, Simplyleo, did not mention name, but we know you're an idiotic Igbo hater who is not even intelligent by half.

iamgprince:
Though i am an igbo boy but it doesn't stop me from saying that we igbos (esp. lower class) are one of the most wicked and evil set of beings on earth,

Iamgprince, you're not igbo. You're just a dunce masquerading as Igbo.

Ariza:
I think "Dear" is more acceptable. Nigerians don kuku normalize and bastardized the word already. Everyone nah dear.

The one that pains me most is underage ending every sentence with Dear in a conversation.

Lol.

I think I'm guilty of this. It's become a pathological disposition of some sort. And many ladies I've interacted with, misconstrued it for romantic interest.

Actually, It's baffling to me why Nigerian's always see it from that spectrum, cos even oldies in the west use it as a title to address their young.

Toks2008:
The way many guys responded to this thread is not only lame but very worrisome.

It is very obvious that they did not read or comprehend the thread. They kept referring to ladies with entitlement mentality whilst I clearly made it clear in the thread that it is about them being sensitive even without the lady asking for a dime.

Stop trying to be clever by half. You're not dealing with neophytes, nor are we dyslexic.

This is an excerpt from your spit-deserving twaddle.

and worse still, I believe a man who is not generous to his lady does not truly love her cos there is no love without giving.

So, a man's love is directly proportional to how much he's willing to part with(hmmm, i wonder what sugar daddies have to say about this). And this brings me to the ineluctable question; " what moral rectitude does the kind of women you herald have over road side prostitute who predicate their relationship on money? Since pecuniary gratification is the proviso for the love you preach.

I'll willingly spend on a woman in distress who is not my girlfriend, but I can't spend on a woman just because we're in a relationship.

That's contemptible horseshit that foster laziness, venality and nauseating entitlement mentality.

BTW, it's quite risible for you to summon the testicular fortitude to set sail on the part of ignominy in branding your fellow men with the epithet "stingy," just because they go against the grain of pussy-worship to bide when and how they want to spend their money.

For the fact you suggested giving 10% of our income, as if relationship is an employment or we're repaying some sort of mortgage(at least, this is profitable), is a confession of your incorrigibility in pussy-worship.

Actually, I've lost the capacity to be outraged by the kind of sickening tosh you call opinion, but you just actuated the wow-factor of disgust in me this night.

Depressed101:
now go back and read my statement carefully, this time with your Brain.

Well, I didn't expect you would be any less of an idiot

No wonder you talk like a compound fool.

pocohantas:
OP please post more jare. This is the kind of thread I want to be seeing now.

Not “My gf is smelling of condom. Should I breakup?”

In fact, I'm opening a thread to that respect, and it's how you 'dagboed' me of 200 hundred naira credit and left me ineffably heart broken

Hahaha

Depressed101:
Not being silly. There is no way to simply quit the Army once you are on active duty. You are contractually, and perhaps morally, obligated to see your commitment through. However, you could be discharged from duty "early" if you are physically or psychologically unable to perform your Army duties.

Stop yapping about what you don't know. There's stipulated time range one can leave the army, and that's 10yrs if my memory serve me right.

So, it's not a life time contract like you're insinuating. People retire from the army any time they want, so long they serve the compulsory service time.

TOPCRUISE:
I have realized girls that have big yansh and breast are fond of asking that question.

They're usually brainless bimbos with over bloated sense of entitlement, and i avoid them like a plague.

I've helped women I know are actually in distress, countless of times. But I can't bring myself to spend on a woman in the Nigerian sense of it, because I'm in a relationship with her or because of some useless feminine charm. It makes me sick to the gut, and make me want to barf with every disgust in me.

I remember when i was in anambra heading to abuja after a project. There was a young lady getting harassed at the park because she lost her purse and wanted to board my bus, so I offered to pay her fare, and it was a grueling uphill preoccupation avoiding her feminine antics throughout our journey because she wanted to secure me in her bag of relationship. When I finally alighted at my bus stop, she entreated the driver to wait for her and ran up to me to remind me that I didn't collect her number, or at least, give her mine, with a demeanor suggestive of romantic interest. I was like; "girl i helped you out just as I would for my fellow man or any other person. So, disabuse yourself that there's romantic undercurrent to my gesture. Neither am I interested in any relationship in anyway whatsoever." I inquired if she has a means to get home directly, and she answered in the negative. I drew out 4k and gave to her to take 'drop' to wherever she's headed, then left.

This and many other instance highlight the mentality of an a average Nigerian lady. To them, relationship and love is transactional in a pecuniary sense, and must be serviced with money et al, or there's no love to begin with.