₦airaland Forum

udoji2021:
spoon feeding me

I use to provide everything in the house, she can't contribute a dime cos she don't have anything presently.

You really need to look at why she suddenly had a change of heart towards you, maybe her intentions were not sincere, I wish you luck, try to resolve the issues , an unhappy relationship is a no no.

Almaigaa:
Guy calm down.
All the changes in her is as a result of the pregnancy. Some men go through worst when their wife's were pregnant. Be patiance with her. When she finally put to bed, you'll see a new her.

Sir you just scared me wlh me that is planning to marry next year

Don't take bad advises from people online who are not married and have not lived with a pregnant woman. Pregnancy change women due to hormonal issues they experience, it is just a passing phase. Once she births, she will go back to normal and will not even remember all she did.

udoji2021:
Life is sweet generally but can be cruel to others.

I was once a happy guy with a bright future but marriage is practically killing me. It all started when I become sick and was admitted in a hospital. my aged mother was the person staying with me and was responsible for my everything. inside the ward, another patient was with this very beautiful girl that was very hard working, my condition was critical that my mother will have to bath me sometimes, this girl now started helping my mother and to a point, my mother will leave her to be taking care of me and go home.

I become close to her, but i use to think that she just pity my condition and wanted to help so I did not think of having any relationship with her. I was later discharge and went home but since we exchange our contacts earlier, we use to talk often. I asked her one day to visit me which she agreed. To my surprise, this girl brought some provision for me and slept over in my house. she continue visiting till one day, I told her that if i was strong and capable, I would have loved to date her. she confessed instantly that she was really interested in me and did not care about my condition. According to her, she was born in a poor family and can handle the pressure of been broke, that she will be the happiest person if I love her back the way she loves me. I was moved with her words and to cut the story short, we started dating.

Her parents were highly against the relationship initially but when they become tired of us, they allow us to do our thing but never involve them if something happened. fast to December last year, we got married. I was not even able to pay 1h to her parents. she just pack her things and join me in my house. we were the happiest couple on Earth till things started going north.

First, we agreed to do many things in the farm against hunger next year, we started with melon farm, then groundnut and yams. we were still on this and I must confess that she is hard working but pregnancy came and this girl started misbehaving, she will not follow me to the farm again and will not even cook for me. I dare not complain cos she will insult me seriously. sometimes, I will tell my sister to cook but this girl will not eat it because the food is bad.

One night, she sent me out of the room in the night that I must get bananas for her to eat. I suffered that night till I got it from one woman on credit cos I was not having money on me. last month, she was sick and visited one private clinic, I was to give her 10k for her treatment but did not have the money so I told her to give me 4days to look for it, there was no insult I did not receive that night. I have to sell my yam seeds and pay. infact, I'm tired of this life presently cos i use to think that she will help me but the reverse is the case now.

Please I need advice on the way forward, I want to run away from home but she is pregnant, her people refused to help us too cos they warned her before.

pls advice me

I am married with two children, bro. what you are going through is absolutely normal. when a woman is pregnant, she is going through a lot. Hormonal changes, stress and what have you. I cannot tell you all what i bought at odd hour or rising up to go to the kitchen to prepare food that she may not even eat, after all she requested for it. please love her more and get yourself ready for the task ahead. I pray that God grants her save delivery

Assurance20:
Patience bro, double your hustle, try to calm her,
and assure her you understand what she's going through...Apparently, you're not financially, psychologically & emotionally prepared, hence the reason for your complaints. Expect more mood swings & irrational behaviours, it's not her fault.

udoji2021:
My plan was to farm and get cash to re-open my closed provision shop for her.

Bros take it easy with your wife, pregnancy is responsible for the change in her behaviour. Do as you said, open a store for her and you do the caring for her now as she did for you when you were sick. If you are a Christian, take her regularly to church, it may help. Don't run away! Only fools and cowards do. Be there for her, return love for hate and work extra hard for provide for her. I think she sincerely loves you but she is still human. Hunger and pregnancy is a bad combination, it can drive any woman mad.

AfricanGiant91:
Guy, be a man joor!
i guess u've nt bn around a pregnant woman b4.
Me & my friend once went out to get suya 4 expressway at past 12am mid9t, on our way back vigilante guys hol' us say we b thief afta much explain' dem 4low us reach gate only 2 enta & den is pregnt gf say nah banana she want she noh want d suya again. Life taya me dat day

Hahahahahaha

MRKLA123:
I am married with two children, bro. what you are going through is absolutely normal. when a woman is pregnant, she is going through a lot. Hormonal changes, stress and what have you. I cannot tell you all what i bought at odd hour or rising up to go to the kitchen to prepare food that she may not even eat, after all she requested for it. please love her more and get yourself ready for the task ahead. I pray that God grants her save delivery

Amen

Thank you

AfricanGiant91:
Guy, be a man joor!
i guess u've nt bn around a pregnant woman b4.
Me & my friend once went out to get suya 4 expressway at past 12am mid9t, on our way back vigilante guys hol' us say we b thief afta much explain' dem 4low us reach gate only 2 enta & den is pregnt gf say nah banana she want she noh want d suya again. Life taya me dat day

May God bless nairaland giving us genuine information to understand almost everything, especially marriage,

My brother your predicament is caused by poverty.

You no get money or source of income you go marry.

WTF is your problem.

How do you plan to take care of the baby.

You are MAD honestly.

If you know how pissed i am at you.

RadaRada oshi.

udoji2021:
Hehe!

Bad boy

You must carter for her. Don't run away.

How do you intend to raise a kid in your current financial status? Some men reason with their dicck actually.

udoji2021:
My plan was to farm and get cash to re-open my closed provision shop for her.

You sound like a good man but a naive one. Let me not lay blames why you got married without being financially stable cos I did same.

The thing here is that you married this woman to be a helping hand to you which as a man to me it's wrong... Once you married this woman you should have put extra effort in your hustle knowing fully well u now a married man with more responsibilities.

Your wife loves you if not she would have told u how she regret marrying u or even move out of your house by now. Her problem is pregnancy which is normal for some women.. Endure everything she does now till she deliver then come back and tell how things are

Let's just assume her new found character is as a result of the pregnancy and raging hormones. At least keep your eyes on the price (your unborn child). After, you go revisit everything.

This guy needs to be educated on how pregnant women behaves especially their first pregnancy, and another thing is that you rushed the whole thing, you would have waited for a while, let regular money start entering your hand before marrying her,but you succumbed to the pressure of I will cope without money which is a lie on her own side,women will never be happy with you if you don't have money to take care of them,so what will solve this problem is to go make money and provide her needs especially now that she's pregnant.

Righteousness2:
Calm Down bro..
According to you, she changed after Pregnancy.
Just see it like the things that come with pregnancy. Some ladies could be very unbecoming when they are pregnant.
So stay calm and do the best you can.

Beautifully said brother

PCSI:
Please run away and never come back.

You are coming online for advice.

Nkita

You guys married each other out of pity.. She was desperate but you are just to blind to noticed it and you are also blind because you only reason about her wealth and you thought she will make you rich. Another angle may be it was just pregnancy pressure because some women are just like that when they are pregnant but you really need to find out and be honest with yourself..

Pls, the change is just the pregnancy that is causing that. She will change when she gives birth. God will see you thru.

Kikikikikikiki Hahahahahaha!
You don't need advice, you need money......... MONEY!
MONEY
MONEY
MONEY............. MONEY
MONEY

@op go to church and pray seriously that God should remove poverty from your life, I think is spiritual. And besides don't you have any certificate you can use to find job ni?

You said she is pregnant.. women can be weird when they are pregnant..so be calm with her attitude for now and after she gave birth and she still exhibit her wayward attitude then you can leave the marriage jejely

udoji2021:
Life is sweet generally but can be cruel to others.

I was once a happy guy with a bright future but marriage is practically killing me. It all started when I become sick and was admitted in a hospital. my aged mother was the person staying with me and was responsible for my everything. inside the ward, another patient was with this very beautiful girl that was very hard working, my condition was critical that my mother will have to bath me sometimes, this girl now started helping my mother and to a point, my mother will leave her to be taking care of me and go home.

I become close to her, but i use to think that she just pity my condition and wanted to help so I did not think of having any relationship with her. I was later discharge and went home but since we exchange our contacts earlier, we use to talk often. I asked her one day to visit me which she agreed. To my surprise, this girl brought some provision for me and slept over in my house. she continue visiting till one day, I told her that if i was strong and capable, I would have loved to date her. she confessed instantly that she was really interested in me and did not care about my condition. According to her, she was born in a poor family and can handle the pressure of been broke, that she will be the happiest person if I love her back the way she loves me. I was moved with her words and to cut the story short, we started dating.

Her parents were highly against the relationship initially but when they become tired of us, they allow us to do our thing but never involve them if something happened. fast to December last year, we got married. I was not even able to pay 1h to her parents. she just pack her things and join me in my house. we were the happiest couple on Earth till things started going north.

First, we agreed to do many things in the farm against hunger next year, we started with melon farm, then groundnut and yams. we were still on this and I must confess that she is hard working but pregnancy came and this girl started misbehaving, she will not follow me to the farm again and will not even cook for me. I dare not complain cos she will insult me seriously. sometimes, I will tell my sister to cook but this girl will not eat it because the food is bad.

One night, she sent me out of the room in the night that I must get bananas for her to eat. I suffered that night till I got it from one woman on credit cos I was not having money on me. last month, she was sick and visited one private clinic, I was to give her 10k for her treatment but did not have the money so I told her to give me 4days to look for it, there was no insult I did not receive that night. I have to sell my yam seeds and pay. infact, I'm tired of this life presently cos i use to think that she will help me but the reverse is the case now.

Please I need advice on the way forward, I want to run away from home but she is pregnant, her people refused to help us too cos they warned her before.

pls advice me

You guys married each other out of pity.. She was desperate but you are just to blind to noticed it and you are also blind because you only reason about her wealth and you thought she will make you rich. Another angle may be it was just pregnancy pressure because some women are just like that when they are pregnant but you really need to find out and be honest with yourself..

udoji2021:
My plan was to farm and get cash to re-open my closed provision shop for her.

Those attitudes are still some of the symptoms of pregnancy. Everything about her changes because she's carrying another life inside her. Though symptoms of pregnancy differs.... The truth is that, this is the time and period you should return the love and care she showed you when you were sick as narrated by you. You need to be there for her, tolerate her as she tolerated you at the initial stage and not do things that might further add more to what she's going through at the moment. And hopefully, she certainly will become the loving and caring soul she used to be after she puts to bed. But everything depends on how you handle things. Good luck to you, and congratulations in advance..

udoji2021:
That was my plan but the pregnancy is just 5months. Thinking of how to endure it for long is what will actually kill me. She can be violent sometimes and start hitting me. Infact, i think she is possesed by something recently cos her actions are NOT normal

PRAY! PRAY!! PRAY!!! PRAY!!!! PRAY!!!!!

Every one shouting PREGNANCY, THIS PREGNANCY THAT...so the man should endure the beatings and inhumane treatment he is getting from his wife cos she's pregnant? I guess you lots did same to your husbands or received same from your wives
It's a known fact that pregnancy and hormonal changes messes with a woman's psychology, but in this case...IT'S CLEARLY AND BOLDLY BEYOND BEING PREGNANT, LET'S BE REALISTIC PLEASE.

@OP please endure a bit more and after the baby is born, you might have to sit down and redefine things...

To everyone out there, especially the male folks, pls marry only when you have attained FINANCIAL MATURITY along side the other levels of maturity needed for marriage.

Peace...

udoji2021:
I mentioned you on another thread. you can reply me there for my details or should I drop my phone number

Hey I've read from the very first page to the current one and I empathize with you sincerely. Most especially because of your health challenge which contributes to your poverty. You seem to me like a graduate or at least an intelligent first school leaver. Whatever the case academic intelligence is useless if it could not be deployed in critical thinking and reasoning so as to benefit our over all existence. What are my trying to say? Take myself for example; I got married last year June. I have a job that carters for my need and I dare say even for a reasonable life of profligacy. My wife is currently searching for job but we are good over all. However, we both made conscious decision to wait for at least after a year before childbearing. We needed to get to know ourselves deeply to consolidate on our love, get to understand each other very well, quarrel, settle, and plan for future offspring. Now I tell you if my wife becomes pregnant tomorrow and started acting irrationally I would not be left wondering whether that was actually her character or the her condition that necessitates that. This is because I have known her overtime and could make excuses for her without thinking twice.

You made the first huge mistake getting married unprepared and even huger mistake putting your wife in the family way without recourse to your present financial condition. This begs the question, why the rush? Why would you put too much stress on your life in this way? It's baffling frankly speaking.

I currently have so much project on hand, however drop your account details here let me send a widow's might.

Oga you never ready for marriage.

udoji2021:
Life is sweet generally but can be cruel to others.

I was once a happy guy with a bright future but marriage is practically killing me. It all started when I become sick and was admitted in a hospital. my aged mother was the person staying with me and was responsible for my everything. inside the ward, another patient was with this very beautiful girl that was very hard working, my condition was critical that my mother will have to bath me sometimes, this girl now started helping my mother and to a point, my mother will leave her to be taking care of me and go home.

I become close to her, but i use to think that she just pity my condition and wanted to help so I did not think of having any relationship with her. I was later discharge and went home but since we exchange our contacts earlier, we use to talk often. I asked her one day to visit me which she agreed. To my surprise, this girl brought some provision for me and slept over in my house. she continue visiting till one day, I told her that if i was strong and capable, I would have loved to date her. she confessed instantly that she was really interested in me and did not care about my condition. According to her, she was born in a poor family and can handle the pressure of been broke, that she will be the happiest person if I love her back the way she loves me. I was moved with her words and to cut the story short, we started dating.

Her parents were highly against the relationship initially but when they become tired of us, they allow us to do our thing but never involve them if something happened. fast to December last year, we got married. I was not even able to pay 1h to her parents. she just pack her things and join me in my house. we were the happiest couple on Earth till things started going north.

First, we agreed to do many things in the farm against hunger next year, we started with melon farm, then groundnut and yams. we were still on this and I must confess that she is hard working but pregnancy came and this girl started misbehaving, she will not follow me to the farm again and will not even cook for me. I dare not complain cos she will insult me seriously. sometimes, I will tell my sister to cook but this girl will not eat it because the food is bad.

One night, she sent me out of the room in the night that I must get bananas for her to eat. I suffered that night till I got it from one woman on credit cos I was not having money on me. last month, she was sick and visited one private clinic, I was to give her 10k for her treatment but did not have the money so I told her to give me 4days to look for it, there was no insult I did not receive that night. I have to sell my yam seeds and pay. infact, I'm tired of this life presently cos i use to think that she will help me but the reverse is the case now.

Please I need advice on the way forward, I want to run away from home but she is pregnant, her people refused to help us too cos they warned her before.

pls advice me

udoji2021:
Life is sweet generally but can be cruel to others.

I was once a happy guy with a bright future but marriage is practically killing me. It all started when I become sick and was admitted in a hospital. my aged mother was the person staying with me and was responsible for my everything. inside the ward, another patient was with this very beautiful girl that was very hard working, my condition was critical that my mother will have to bath me sometimes, this girl now started helping my mother and to a point, my mother will leave her to be taking care of me and go home.

I become close to her, but i use to think that she just pity my condition and wanted to help so I did not think of having any relationship with her. I was later discharge and went home but since we exchange our contacts earlier, we use to talk often. I asked her one day to visit me which she agreed. To my surprise, this girl brought some provision for me and slept over in my house. she continue visiting till one day, I told her that if i was strong and capable, I would have loved to date her. she confessed instantly that she was really interested in me and did not care about my condition. According to her, she was born in a poor family and can handle the pressure of been broke, that she will be the happiest person if I love her back the way she loves me. I was moved with her words and to cut the story short, we started dating.

Her parents were highly against the relationship initially but when they become tired of us, they allow us to do our thing but never involve them if something happened. fast to December last year, we got married. I was not even able to pay 1h to her parents. she just pack her things and join me in my house. we were the happiest couple on Earth till things started going north.

First, we agreed to do many things in the farm against hunger next year, we started with melon farm, then groundnut and yams. we were still on this and I must confess that she is hard working but pregnancy came and this girl started misbehaving, she will not follow me to the farm again and will not even cook for me. I dare not complain cos she will insult me seriously. sometimes, I will tell my sister to cook but this girl will not eat it because the food is bad.

One night, she sent me out of the room in the night that I must get bananas for her to eat. I suffered that night till I got it from one woman on credit cos I was not having money on me. last month, she was sick and visited one private clinic, I was to give her 10k for her treatment but did not have the money so I told her to give me 4days to look for it, there was no insult I did not receive that night. I have to sell my yam seeds and pay. infact, I'm tired of this life presently cos i use to think that she will help me but the reverse is the case now.

Please I need advice on the way forward, I want to run away from home but she is pregnant, her people refused to help us too cos they warned her before.

pls advice me

Dating has no such Obligations - Marriage is a different thing especially when pikin enter the matter

Righteousness2:
Calm Down bro..
According to you, she changed after Pregnancy.
Just see it like the things that come with pregnancy. Some ladies could be very unbecoming when they are pregnant.
So stay calm and do the best you can.

This is the best advice on this matter. But let me add a lil to it;

Nothing is wrong with her. It’s pregnancy. You must work extra hard to take care of her. Show her you love and support her. She used to join you to farm before, she will join you in future. But carry her now and prepare to carry her with the child (financially). This is a test of your manliness. Stand Up!