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One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost - Family (6) - Nairaland

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My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day / I Am Scared! My Wedding Is This Month & I Haven't Told My Fiancé About My 3 Kids / Sadiya Lawal's Divorce Story: "I Was Still A Virgin, 3 Years After My Wedding" (2) (3) (4)

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Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by SocialJustice: 5:53pm On May 04, 2021
CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)
She should run away while she can. I see no love here, only a man eaten by obsession and the need to imprison a woman.
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by livinbygrace: 5:54pm On May 04, 2021
CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)

Court wedding already done and you are asking this silly question?Its either you and your friends are not serious or semi illiterates

4 Likes

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by livinbygrace: 5:57pm On May 04, 2021
LeeSantos:
This is really tough.

but I will advise you as I would to my sister..

It's not too late to call it off, for so many reasons.
but I will list some.
1. you will be deprived of enough finance to run your home. His money will be going to more women.

2. you're at risk of contacting vulnerable diseases. if he contacts HIV you won't know, because married couples don't do this test regularly after marriage.

3. You will be Derain psychologically and emotionally, thinking about so many things from how to keep your family intact, manage your husband's so he doesn't bring disgrace to the family, always thinking of the life you has always wanted.

4. There will always be regrets in you occasionally. "If I had known"

5. You life may be cut short due to his anger issues. most marital death had always being a mistake. it's the devil's work, I didn't mean to.

6 and lastly. just know you can be in a polygamous home knowingly or unknowingly. your husband can get other women pregnant,

7. it's very very hard for a man who commits adultery to change. very hard. in order for more to change there must be a negative encounter.

like a drunkard who was nearly crushed to death by a trailer, would easily quick. but even if you catch a promiscuous man In another woman's house that won't stop him.

Peace of mind is all we need to life long.

But if you think you can always fast and be prayerful. you should go ahead with the marriage, maybe one day God will answer your prayers


I used to be very promiscuous before,Infact I can’t miss a day without sleeping with a woman,but For no re than a year now I have been sleeping with only one woman ,so the man can still change
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by shadeyinka(m): 5:58pm On May 04, 2021
CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)
Tell her to inform her parent to postpone the traditional wedding.
Use the time for soul searching

With Anger and Cheating Problem, I see WEEPING and GNASHING of teeth for the Wife
SInce he doesn't want third party influence , I see a WIFE BEATER in waiting mode.


Is it about the fact that he has Money!?
There are more important things than Money: Melinda just divorce Bill Gates!

A Word is enough for the WISE!
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by davidadenrele: 6:00pm On May 04, 2021
Hello, OP,

Please tell this sister or friend of yours not marry that man, she will leave to regret marrying this gentleman, he will sees Sango go down the ground will not dare to spite Sango,it's obvious from all indications the guy no change a word is enough for the wise.

3 Likes

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Kebbiprince: 6:01pm On May 04, 2021
jikaseo:
If you found out these things before the court wedding, would you still marry him? If your answer is NO, then go ahead and get a divorce. People hardly change.
People hardly change, you're right

1 Like

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by justhairs(m): 6:01pm On May 04, 2021
run às fast as you can. that guy will never change. Don't allow what happened to others to happen to you, dont say no one told you. if possible talk to your family members so that they will understand the situation and the worst of it all is that if you go ahead with that decision to marry him, I bet you by the time you are ready to make that decision you are already disfigured probably with children to cater for without any help. use your tongue and count your teeth

2 Likes

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by emmyN(m): 6:03pm On May 04, 2021
Johncuppa:

Court marriage is a formality and allows for divorce, only church marriage put covenant into marriage and divorce forbidden as commanded by God.

She can still call it off before putting God as a witness

By the way, I didn't read the court marriage part.
Where is it?

Sweet nonsense cheesy. Where in your bible did God tell you to put him as witness in marriage?

1 Like

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Nobody: 6:03pm On May 04, 2021
Wait wait, is it that you don't really know the person you want to marry before getting to that level?
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by airoport: 6:03pm On May 04, 2021
ireneidiva:

Too late for all this talk. I read the court wedding has taken place. She is already married. Let her carry her cross.
Or refuse to consunmate the marriage, to escalate to divorce since she's already married.
She made a bad move to marry the fellow with all the involuntary disclosures of inexcusable behaviour.

1 Like

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by therajah: 6:04pm On May 04, 2021
CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)
Run run run!! There is fire on the mountain. You wil live to regret if you marry him. God has blessed you that you made the discovery. Even if you made this discovery on wedding day, the wisest step is to back out. Ignore what pple wld say. Its ur life!!!!! Anger issues, adulterer.... no no no!!!
You said it urself..hell let lose for missing a call. It WILL be worse in marriage. DONT ALLOW ANY1 PRESSURE YOU AND LIE TO YOU HE WILL CHANGE COS HE WONT!! THEY WONT LEAVE IN THE HOUSE WITH YOU. BE STRONG AND FACE IT NOW.
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Kebbiprince: 6:04pm On May 04, 2021
pwettyJasmine:
Run! Please run. My sister is stuck in one. It's easier to walk now than later. Abusive marriages can be exhausting both for the partner and family members. Abusive partners are triggered by as little as picking a phone call while they are sitting beside you.
Please i beg of you RUN!
Wao, your sister's husband is cheating on her?
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Nobody: 6:04pm On May 04, 2021
duni04:

I hope the OP or her sister doesn't listen to this. You don't beg someone to be in a marriage. He must want you and she must want you, not anybody else. How would you advice someone to start fighting for her marriage even before its started? A man about to marry a woman must want her and nobody else! If before marriage he already wants someone else, the OP or her sister, is clearly not wanted. She should divorce the man and find a man that wants her. That's even apart from the anger and other issues. Makes me wonder exactly what the OP, or her sister, saw in that man to make her accept his proposal.


What do you know? Keep living in Hollywood
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Preator: 6:05pm On May 04, 2021
Hmmm. She is already married in the eye of the Law. if she backs out, she will have to file for Divorce.
The anger bit is the most scary part because that might lead to domestic violence. I do not support anyone to stay in an abusive or violent relationship. It is not worth it. don't stay for cultural reasons, societal or even religious. If he is violent, run for your life.

That said, Divorce is a crazy stuff in Nigeria. If they have not had sex already, she can talk to a lawyer and use non-consummation bla bla bla to get out. The bit about side chick, i will leave to the elders. Even if you didn't catch him now or he is not doing it now doesn't mean he wont in the future.

4 Likes

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Kebbiprince: 6:06pm On May 04, 2021
kevoh:
Even in marriages without cheating and anger issues, there is lots of quarrels. Then, you add chronic cheating and anger issue, that means hell fire straight. Tell your sister/friend to divorce the man right away before she gets pregnant and complicate issues. Don't listen to any Pastor/Priest/Elder telling her to carry on! This is disaster waiting to happen!
Very big disaster

1 Like

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by ireneidiva(f): 6:06pm On May 04, 2021
timota:

No,they are not married ,the only marriage recognized by God is traditional wedding,what we call court wedding is court registry ,while white wedding is mere marriage blessing in the church.
Oga they are Legally married. Nobody said traditional wedding is not valid. All the forms of marriage are recognized. The whole point is that they are already married according to the law.

2 Likes

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by tosinhtml: 6:08pm On May 04, 2021
Very strange coming from a woman.

Women who acknowledge calmers are usually cold hearted. Like they have seen it all already.

Nothing new.

sisisioge:
Scary stuff...shall we pray?

Dearest Lord, Almight Father, King of the University, Maker of our paths....please help order your daughter's steps. In Jesus Name. Amen.

Dont worry, God has been called, He will get involved.

See, most marriages in Nigeria are based on the guy/girl being obligated to get it done, not because they found soulmates they couldn't live without. That's why companionship, stability, sex and everything inbetween is rated before Love. By the time the marriage commences, there would be a dire need for a missing link which is usually a third party(side chick or side bobo) that acts as the calmer of the union. He or she fills that void that would be there because husband and wife couldn't perfectly sync. These 3rd parties then become the glue that keep the marriage going. Looks like your glue is already defined, question is....do you want to play along to keep everyone happy or you want to keep looking until you meet someone that would tick all your boxes? Sweetheart, it's one hell of a Moraforrkking decision to make. Trust me, I know.


Good luck.
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by ireneidiva(f): 6:10pm On May 04, 2021
Johncuppa:

Court marriage is a formality and allows for divorce, only church marriage put covenant into marriage and divorce forbidden as commanded by God.

She can still call it off before putting God as a witness

By the way, I didn't read the court marriage part.
Where is it?
Stop twisting the Bible to suit your desires. God hates divorce. Divorce is divorce no matter where the marriage took place. So God lives only in the church? I hope you also realize that they pray and sing in the court before the marriage? God was very much a witness there. Finally, learn to read. Read his third point to see where Registry marriage was mentioned.

1 Like

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by NwaliE01: 6:10pm On May 04, 2021
Infrabetatech:
Where is the venue?

I want to eat wedding rice

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Femeto: 6:11pm On May 04, 2021
CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)
Make she run while she can. Its never too late.
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by tosinhtml: 6:11pm On May 04, 2021
ireneidiva:

Oga they are Legally married. Nobody said traditional wedding is not valid. All the forms of marriage are recognized. The whole point is that they are already married according to the law.

I don't know why people think we need church marriage or traditional. It's completely unnecessary. Once a Pastor, Imam or your preferred traditionalist blesses the union in your parlor for 2 minutes, it's okay. Every body go their way.

3 Likes

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by ireneidiva(f): 6:11pm On May 04, 2021
Dee60:


Where did you read that court wedding has been done?

Lady, speak to your parents or your pastor (if you are a Christian) and get counsel.

If you were my daughter I wont let you run into what looks like a snare.

It only becomes too late after you have taken your vows. before then, use your senses.

His third point. Learn to read thoroughly.

1 Like

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by xtervaganza(m): 6:12pm On May 04, 2021
They can get married and get divorced whenever they can no longer stand each other. It's not that hard

1 Like

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by armyofone(m): 6:12pm On May 04, 2021
If you feel this way one week before the wedding, cancel it and move on. It is not mandatory.
You will heal with time. Until the right person for you comes, focus on career and enjoy life dailies.

1 Like

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by detectivejones: 6:13pm On May 04, 2021
These signs are what most people miss before getting hitched she is lucky to have known all these before the show goes down. My two cent she should ignore what people will say or money spent and preparation put in place and jakpa for her life if not na HBP-stroke-death las las

1 Like

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by chima47(m): 6:14pm On May 04, 2021
Pls for your peace sake, call this marriage off. Honestly l wish l could say more than this.
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Kebbiprince: 6:15pm On May 04, 2021
saajus:
They are already married legally. I would have advised her to back out but I think it's too late. If this was two or three months prior to the traditional wedding, I would advise her to back out.

If she has understanding parents and got their support, she should back out now. But, I really doubt it. My piece of advice, she should carry on with the wedding if her parents don't support her. On the wedding night or the following day, she needs to talk to the husband that he needs to change his ways. She needs to let him know he's not going to get a second chance if he hit one day. After three months of the wedding, if he continues sleeping around and also hitting her, she should not hesitate to separate.
Arrant nonsense she should call it off right now
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by BarrElChapo(m): 6:15pm On May 04, 2021
she should runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by KallmemrB0: 6:17pm On May 04, 2021
LeeSantos:
This is really tough.

but I will advise you as I would to my sister..

It's not too late to call it off, for so many reasons.
but I will list some.
1. you will be deprived of enough finance to run your home. His money will be going to more women.

2. you're at risk of contacting vulnerable diseases. if he contacts HIV you won't know, because married couples don't do this test regularly after marriage.

3. You will be Derain psychologically and emotionally, thinking about so many things from how to keep your family intact, manage your husband's so he doesn't bring disgrace to the family, always thinking of the life you has always wanted.

4. There will always be regrets in you occasionally. "If I had known"

5. You life may be cut short due to his anger issues. most marital death had always being a mistake. it's the devil's work, I didn't mean to.

6 and lastly. just know you can be in a polygamous home knowingly or unknowingly. your husband can get other women pregnant,

7. it's very very hard for a man who commits adultery to change. very hard. in order for more to change there must be a negative encounter.

like a drunkard who was nearly crushed to death by a trailer, would easily quick. but even if you catch a promiscuous man In another woman's house that won't stop him.

Peace of mind is all we need to life long.

But if you think you can always fast and be prayerful. you should go ahead with the marriage, maybe one day God will answer your prayers
did you read where She wrote court marriage is done already

1 Like

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Idzitari1(m): 6:17pm On May 04, 2021
Can't believe people still ask this phychopaty questions. Can I, should l and trap in it. That guy won't change nd I promise u once u get in u will be in great slavery. Get insulted now nd stay save than please people nd be in slavery. I don talk my own
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Kebbiprince: 6:17pm On May 04, 2021
Johncuppa:

Court marriage is a formality and allows for divorce, only church marriage put covenant into marriage and divorce forbidden as commanded by God.

She can still call it off before putting God as a witness

By the way, I didn't read the court marriage part.
Where is it?
Nobody is talking about God which we can't see here, we're talking about the law
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Dimma22: 6:18pm On May 04, 2021
LeeSantos:
This is really tough.

but I will advise you as I would to my sister..

It's not too late to call it off, for so many reasons.
but I will list some.
1. you will be deprived of enough finance to run your home. His money will be going to more women.

2. you're at risk of contacting vulnerable diseases. if he contacts HIV you won't know, because married couples don't do this test regularly after marriage.

3. You will be Derain psychologically and emotionally, thinking about so many things from how to keep your family intact, manage your husband's so he doesn't bring disgrace to the family, always thinking of the life you has always wanted.

4. There will always be regrets in you occasionally. "If I had known"

5. You life may be cut short due to his anger issues. most marital death had always being a mistake. it's the devil's work, I didn't mean to.

6 and lastly. just know you can be in a polygamous home knowingly or unknowingly. your husband can get other women pregnant,

7. it's very very hard for a man who commits adultery to change. very hard. in order for more to change there must be a negative encounter.

like a drunkard who was nearly crushed to death by a trailer, would easily quick. but even if you catch a promiscuous man In another woman's house that won't stop him.

Peace of mind is all we need to life long.

But if you think you can always fast and be prayerful. you should go ahead with the marriage, maybe one day God will answer your prayers
it's late oga, did you read the part that says that court marriage has been done. Legally they are married already.

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