₦airaland Forum

I ask again, must a man marry

Oh boy e never reach like that oh, I just dey laugh. Pls don't bring in a third party yet, most times it backfires. You need to discuss the finance of your home and it should be done in an atmosphere of love, maybe when you guys are loved up in the bed . Trust is very important. I think the two of you need to be open about your finances so you reduce the pressure of this hide and seek game. Your money is our money and her money is her money. It's only love that can break that myth else it becomes a strong hold.

igwebest23:
This is too much for me. I have had enough. I got married to my wife last year October 2020. I did both traditional wedding and white wedding, spent a million plus. I work with ministry of health.

My wife has been insisting that I disclose my salary to her from day 1 but I never, I just told her that am earning 100+. Before I met my wife, she already learn Fashion designing. Then while was rushing around, preparing for wedding, she was pestering me to open shop for her. I specifically told her that d money I have now is Solly for wedding and traditional rite, which cost me fortune.

Then after much pressure, her people contributed money and paid for d shop (Remember I have paid her bride price then). I have swallowed red pill. How can I open shop for a girl I have not finished marrying. Then when she opened d shop, I equally supporting her with other things like buying protector and chairs. Every day she is going to shop, I drop pocket of 1k. Some times she asks me money to buy tailor materials which I give.

Now within a space of 7 months my wife now has 14 apprentices. She collected like 30k from them. Then all the money she made in her shop, she put all in her account, she doesn't contribute anything at home. Infact decided not to apply for ATM card. Some time, I may go to. ATM to get money and d tell me no network, if I come to my wife to ask her for ordinary 1k, she will say she doesn't have it. I never asked her to help in our home finances before, and I don't really care about her money.

But now found out through her Facebook chat that she sent her male school friends 7k. She hid it from me, she said d guy needed d money to treat her father in d hospital. I was shock. Cos my wife always complained she does not have money. Now she is complaining that I don't support her in her shop. That she can do whatever she wants with her money.

This morning, she was raising her voice to the hearing our flat neighbors, that am a useless husband, I feel insulted. Am embarrased. That I don't support her. She said her shop rent has expired that I should give her d money but she have enough money in her account to pay it. While is asking me. Am d one that pays for house rent, I buy food stuff, I give her transport every day.

I have had enough. I will call her mum to come over and carry her daughter. I can never beat her. The last night I shouted at her she fainted not to talk of beating.

I swear I dey always wonder if guys of now a days dey close eyes before them marry. What kind of stupid talk you talking? Your wife dey do this, she dey do that, you know dey see before you marry? You guys think marriage is about pussy and dick? For marriage you go see dick and pussy, you go tire, reality would set in. What kind of women do you guys marry? Your wife is suppose to be chasing you andnt the other way round. So far your hustle tight, your wife suppose dey chase you. Guy husbands know dey outside, so for a fact that you dey even give her food, give give her roof, you suppose dey flex, if you never reach house by 8pm, she suppose dey use call dey chase you to confirm say you done dey come house know be say you dey hangout with one babe.

I swear my wife dey thief my money small small, although na 1k, 500 naira etc, sometimes the money go done reach like 10k, I swear na my children and myself she dey spend am on at the day. She know dey even use am for herself. Your wife suppose dey cherish you. Na only you suppose dey her head, guys open your eyes when you won marry, marriage is not a mirage ohh, na reality. You got bills to pay, if your wife is not working, its a different ball game, but she dey make money and she know fit assist for house, guy na another person wife you marry ohh. Last week my wife go buy sandals for my children, she spend like 15k plus, she call me for work say she done go buy scandals ohh but she go tell my children say na me buy am, when I come back from work, na from door three of my children dey thank me, after I finish with my children I come go find my wife trouble, I tell am say make she know think say na she buy those scandals ohh, say make she remember say na all my money when she thief ohh, we just laugh... As a man, your wife suppose dey adore you. As someone said on nairaland the other day, ONLY YOU SUPPOSE BE YOUR WIFE FRIEND. Guys when una won marry open your eyes. Marriage is not child's play, you can go to work, stress your head, plan how make money everyday only for your wife to dey mess you up, haba now... If you be female self, you can't even come close to meself because my wife na LION. She love me more than she loves herself. We have almost a perfect marriage. Even if I keep 10M for house, for like 1 Month, highest money when go miss inside know go pass 10k, and I guarantee you,inside that 10k, I done chop 5k inside one way for the other.

igwebest23:
This is too much for me. I have had enough. I got married to my wife last year October 2020. I did both traditional wedding and white wedding, spent a million plus. I work with ministry of health.

My wife has been insisting that I disclose my salary to her from day 1 but I never, I just told her that am earning 100+. Before I met my wife, she already learn Fashion designing. Then while was rushing around, preparing for wedding, she was pestering me to open shop for her. I specifically told her that d money I have now is Solly for wedding and traditional rite, which cost me fortune.

Then after much pressure, her people contributed money and paid for d shop (Remember I have paid her bride price then). I have swallowed red pill. How can I open shop for a girl I have not finished marrying. Then when she opened d shop, I equally supporting her with other things like buying protector and chairs. Every day she is going to shop, I drop pocket of 1k. Some times she asks me money to buy tailor materials which I give.

Now within a space of 7 months my wife now has 14 apprentices. She collected like 30k from them. Then all the money she made in her shop, she put all in her account, she doesn't contribute anything at home. Infact decided not to apply for ATM card. Some time, I may go to. ATM to get money and d tell me no network, if I come to my wife to ask her for ordinary 1k, she will say she doesn't have it. I never asked her to help in our home finances before, and I don't really care about her money.

But now found out through her Facebook chat that she sent her male school friends 7k. She hid it from me, she said d guy needed d money to treat her father in d hospital. I was shock. Cos my wife always complained she does not have money. Now she is complaining that I don't support her in her shop. That she can do whatever she wants with her money.

This morning, she was raising her voice to the hearing our flat neighbors, that am a useless husband, I feel insulted. Am embarrased. That I don't support her. She said her shop rent has expired that I should give her d money but she have enough money in her account to pay it. While is asking me. Am d one that pays for house rent, I buy food stuff, I give her transport every day.

I have had enough. I will call her mum to come over and carry her daughter. I can never beat her. The last night I shouted at her she fainted not to talk of beating.

...... Bros..... Ordinarily I don't support divorce cos I believe in for better for worse but mehn..... She can't give you 1k but can send a male friend 7k to treat his father? Maybe I'm just being funny e no make sense...... And this one na sign say na the wrong woman you marry...... Insulting you to the hearing of your neighbors, sending money to a male friend without your knowledge and consent, hiding her finances from you...... She doesn't provide support of any kind even though she earns a considerate amount of money?? I see danger looming if you continue the marriage..... No be me say make you quit o.... But use your teeth to count your tongue before e too late

Wow! I salute your wisdom sister. Na your mama born u

Bola146:
This is so deep, you saw the red lines but you ignored it. If you have told her to choose either to use money for the wedding or shop Why spent that much on a day or two days wedding when you still have many things to use money for You need to tell her siblings or parents how everything thsat happened, if she doesn't want to be submissive or abide with your earning, then let her go and learn more lessons from her parents house she should be able to afford the rent na!!!! Must wives put heavy loads on their husbands She shouldn't have shouted, she can do daily or weekly contributions to pay for the rent Please don't ever argue nor fight with her, just pick one of your dresses and find a place to cool your head. It's too early to have hypertension jare

Didn't u people date before u got married to her? Because d fault of selfishness is easy to see when u are dating a woman

chatinent:
Read again.

He didn't give her money to start the business.

just shut up jare!!!

Who bears the house responsibilities?? Who paid for foods , her transport and other stuffs? You're just dumbass nigha... I feel like slapping u

Brother send the witch away and look for your real wife

igwebest23:
This is too much for me. I have had enough. I got married to my wife last year October 2020. I did both traditional wedding and white wedding, spent a million plus. I work with ministry of health.

My wife has been insisting that I disclose my salary to her from day 1 but I never, I just told her that am earning 100+. Before I met my wife, she already learn Fashion designing. Then while was rushing around, preparing for wedding, she was pestering me to open shop for her. I specifically told her that d money I have now is Solly for wedding and traditional rite, which cost me fortune.

Then after much pressure, her people contributed money and paid for d shop (Remember I have paid her bride price then). I have swallowed red pill. How can I open shop for a girl I have not finished marrying. Then when she opened d shop, I equally supporting her with other things like buying protector and chairs. Every day she is going to shop, I drop pocket of 1k. Some times she asks me money to buy tailor materials which I give.

Now within a space of 7 months my wife now has 14 apprentices. She collected like 30k from them. Then all the money she made in her shop, she put all in her account, she doesn't contribute anything at home. Infact decided not to apply for ATM card. Some time, I may go to. ATM to get money and d tell me no network, if I come to my wife to ask her for ordinary 1k, she will say she doesn't have it. I never asked her to help in our home finances before, and I don't really care about her money.

But now found out through her Facebook chat that she sent her male school friends 7k. She hid it from me, she said d guy needed d money to treat her father in d hospital. I was shock. Cos my wife always complained she does not have money. Now she is complaining that I don't support her in her shop. That she can do whatever she wants with her money.

This morning, she was raising her voice to the hearing our flat neighbors, that am a useless husband, I feel insulted. Am embarrased. That I don't support her. She said her shop rent has expired that I should give her d money but she have enough money in her account to pay it. While is asking me. Am d one that pays for house rent, I buy food stuff, I give her transport every day.

I have had enough. I will call her mum to come over and carry her daughter. I can never beat her. The last night I shouted at her she fainted not to talk of beating.

What are you reporting?
You are not making any sense.

FarahAideed:
Brother send the witch away and look for your real wife

Are you married?

generalwo:
...... Bros..... Ordinarily I don't support divorce cos I believe in for better for worse but mehn..... She can't give you 1k but can send a male friend 7k to treat his father? Maybe I'm just being funny e no make sense...... And this one na sign say na the wrong woman you marry...... Insulting you to the hearing of your neighbors, sending money to a male friend without your knowledge and consent, hiding her finances from you...... She doesn't provide support of any kind even though she earns a considerate amount of money?? I see danger looming if you continue the marriage..... No be me say make you quit o.... But use your teeth to count your tongue before e too late

Are you married?

If she can not pay 90k for her shop rent and she is making a lot of money from the shop,it is better she close down the shop,but why are some ladies so wicked.A man is taking care of the full responsibilities in the house even taking care of her,she is not contributing a dine,she still have the gut to insult,my brother I think it is better you report her to her parents to talk to her,if she does not change, then send her to her parents to go and learn

Op you just need to sit her down and talk as husband and wife cos from what u wrote,I don't think you two do talk heart to heart... I'm sure if u calm urself and talk to her and even let her take control of that ur salary,you won't have any p roblem becos once she knw how much u earn and u let her manage it and u too stop trying to knw about her money,ur marriage will be ok...

Op do you think this is boyfriend and girlfriend relationship? Please the issue has not gotten to sending her away. it's just your flow of communication that's having problem.

Fixe your marriage, don't think of bringing Jezebel home as a new sweetheart.

If you begin to take what comes out from women's mouth serious eh, you may do something stupid. Secondly, do you know how in-laws see a man who married their daughter coming to report her to them? Like seriously, i don't blame him, i blame my daughter who brought this insult to us. So, don't go there. But it seems this girl na agaracha o, and you begged her to marry u, if not, how can a friend who later became a fiancee and now wife may want u to open shop for her before marriage? Anyway, don't worry, do the one your strength reach. You can't kill yourself. If you still get money to pay for shop, pls do, she's your wife.

wwwihy:
You are very selfish and don't love her.... how would you not pay for then Would be wife instead of spending lavishly on one useless wedding ceremony

If I call you a fo...ol now, it will be as if I am insulting you, meanwhile you showed the characteristics of one.
Do you even understand what he posted at all?

They were not married when she requested for the money.
Had it been he gave her the money and the lady dumped him since they are not yet married at that time, you will be the first to call him names.

seanwilliam:
just shut up jare!!!

Who bears the house responsibilities?? Who paid for foods , her transport and other stuffs? You're just dumbass nigha... I feel like slapping u

And you are concluding from one side of the story...

Mugu...

I guess when the pastor said "for better for worst" you gladly said "I do". Now I hope u understand.
Look for a solution, not divorce please.

berrystunn:
Are you married?

I am an alpha male and polygamist

Godada:


Do you have a marriage sponsor?

E tun ti de o, ewo tun ni marriage sponsor

igwebest23:
This is too much for me. I have had enough. I got married to my wife last year October 2020. I did both traditional wedding and white wedding, spent a million plus. I work with ministry of health.

My wife has been insisting that I disclose my salary to her from day 1 but I never, I just told her that am earning 100+. Before I met my wife, she already learn Fashion designing. Then while was rushing around, preparing for wedding, she was pestering me to open shop for her. I specifically told her that d money I have now is Solly for wedding and traditional rite, which cost me fortune.

Then after much pressure, her people contributed money and paid for d shop (Remember I have paid her bride price then). I have swallowed red pill. How can I open shop for a girl I have not finished marrying. Then when she opened d shop, I equally supporting her with other things like buying protector and chairs. Every day she is going to shop, I drop pocket of 1k. Some times she asks me money to buy tailor materials which I give.

Now within a space of 7 months my wife now has 14 apprentices. She collected like 30k from them. Then all the money she made in her shop, she put all in her account, she doesn't contribute anything at home. Infact decided not to apply for ATM card. Some time, I may go to. ATM to get money and d tell me no network, if I come to my wife to ask her for ordinary 1k, she will say she doesn't have it. I never asked her to help in our home finances before, and I don't really care about her money.

But now found out through her Facebook chat that she sent her male school friends 7k. She hid it from me, she said d guy needed d money to treat her father in d hospital. I was shock. Cos my wife always complained she does not have money. Now she is complaining that I don't support her in her shop. That she can do whatever she wants with her money.

This morning, she was raising her voice to the hearing our flat neighbors, that am a useless husband, I feel insulted. Am embarrased. That I don't support her. She said her shop rent has expired that I should give her d money but she have enough money in her account to pay it. While is asking me. Am d one that pays for house rent, I buy food stuff, I give her transport every day.

I have had enough. I will call her mum to come over and carry her daughter. I can never beat her. The last night I shouted at her she fainted not to talk of beating.

The only solution you need is discloure...Let your wife know aw much you earn and show her the proof...Someone you go necked for, you are hidding your salary...O boy ure on a long thing...Let her know ur true picture and show her aw u spend ur money monthly...trust me, it works for me....Why having secret for someone u call ur rib bone...Women will alway assume u av money wen u dont dislcose ur earning to them....

See how you could solve this, at the beginning of every month give like 10k to buy major food stuff in bulk like rice, yam and what you people eat on a regular basis. Then come every Monday give like 2k to cook soup probably they will be garri, then you wont have to worry about food being at home because you will fridge the remaining and be bring it out small. On weekends sometimes drop money for weekends rice or don't and watch, if you notice theirs no Milk dont buy when you notice but if the next day she didn't buy, you can buy. Again call family or friends both of you respect for listening ear.

igwebest23:
This is too much for me. I have had enough. I got married to my wife last year October 2020. I did both traditional wedding and white wedding, spent a million plus. I work with ministry of health.

My wife has been insisting that I disclose my salary to her from day 1 but I never, I just told her that am earning 100+. Before I met my wife, she already learn Fashion designing. Then while was rushing around, preparing for wedding, she was pestering me to open shop for her. I specifically told her that d money I have now is Solly for wedding and traditional rite, which cost me fortune.

Then after much pressure, her people contributed money and paid for d shop (Remember I have paid her bride price then). I have swallowed red pill. How can I open shop for a girl I have not finished marrying. Then when she opened d shop, I equally supporting her with other things like buying protector and chairs. Every day she is going to shop, I drop pocket of 1k. Some times she asks me money to buy tailor materials which I give.

Now within a space of 7 months my wife now has 14 apprentices. She collected like 30k from them. Then all the money she made in her shop, she put all in her account, she doesn't contribute anything at home. Infact decided not to apply for ATM card. Some time, I may go to. ATM to get money and d tell me no network, if I come to my wife to ask her for ordinary 1k, she will say she doesn't have it. I never asked her to help in our home finances before, and I don't really care about her money.

But now found out through her Facebook chat that she sent her male school friends 7k. She hid it from me, she said d guy needed d money to treat her father in d hospital. I was shock. Cos my wife always complained she does not have money. Now she is complaining that I don't support her in her shop. That she can do whatever she wants with her money.

This morning, she was raising her voice to the hearing our flat neighbors, that am a useless husband, I feel insulted. Am embarrased. That I don't support her. She said her shop rent has expired that I should give her d money but she have enough money in her account to pay it. While is asking me. Am d one that pays for house rent, I buy food stuff, I give her transport every day.

I have had enough. I will call her mum to come over and carry her daughter. I can never beat her. The last night I shouted at her she fainted not to talk of beating.

The typical Nigerian (Igbo?) male and money...
Obviously money is the only (or most) important thing in your life.

Why did you even get married?
You should have just married your money and cuddle and sleep with it.
>

Get her pregnant first and be in the process of recouping your marriage expenses.if you do rubbish now, you lose all.

Dont kill yourself.

Since your wife earns money, she should contribute to the home finances, even if it is 20 or 30%. A sensible woman that earns should be willing to contribute to the home she plans to have. Even our grandmothers indirectly contribute to their home in the olden days because most of them work or support in their husbands farm, so they are contributing to the source.

Have a word with her, involve people, if she doesnt see reason in it, she should go and be living on her own with her money.

seanwilliam:
just shut up jare!!!

Who bears the house responsibilities?? Who paid for foods , her transport and other stuffs? You're just dumbass nigha... I feel like slapping u

OG, pity him abeg.

I wonder how he tutors those that register on his dating whatsoever app with this kind of reasoning or mentality.

all this kind women fit buy land now build house, pack alll of una go there, u go still dey pay rent

Sorry!!! I can relate.

My advice: You don't need divorce just because of her business and money matter

It is your home. Seat down your wife. Tell what you want to do (whether you want to be giving her money or not; how much you can afford). You don't need to ask her to assist you on finance for the home. A lot of ladies are not that resIf she wants to assist and if he does not want, ok. My brother, you focus on the most important things to use money for at home, especially for the children.

A lot women do this kind of things to frustrate the men. Relax yourself, focus on the most important things and enjoy your life. If anything happen you today (God forbid, she will enjoy her life to the fullest). Honestly you can not her 100%, so try to know her full. You get to her more as the marriage is waxing stronger base on understanding, patience and tolerance.

Bros I feel your pain. I beg be with her money. Some women are Union horse that never opened it's fist. Somebody said if a man has 20k and a woman has 80k how much did the family has na 20k oooooooo

igwebest23:
This is too much for me. I have had enough. I got married to my wife last year October 2020. I did both traditional wedding and white wedding, spent a million plus. I work with ministry of health.

My wife has been insisting that I disclose my salary to her from day 1 but I never, I just told her that am earning 100+. Before I met my wife, she already learn Fashion designing. Then while was rushing around, preparing for wedding, she was pestering me to open shop for her. I specifically told her that d money I have now is Solly for wedding and traditional rite, which cost me fortune.

Then after much pressure, her people contributed money and paid for d shop (Remember I have paid her bride price then). I have swallowed red pill. How can I open shop for a girl I have not finished marrying. Then when she opened d shop, I equally supporting her with other things like buying protector and chairs. Every day she is going to shop, I drop pocket of 1k. Some times she asks me money to buy tailor materials which I give.

Now within a space of 7 months my wife now has 14 apprentices. She collected like 30k from them. Then all the money she made in her shop, she put all in her account, she doesn't contribute anything at home. Infact decided not to apply for ATM card. Some time, I may go to. ATM to get money and d tell me no network, if I come to my wife to ask her for ordinary 1k, she will say she doesn't have it. I never asked her to help in our home finances before, and I don't really care about her money.

But now found out through her Facebook chat that she sent her male school friends 7k. She hid it from me, she said d guy needed d money to treat her father in d hospital. I was shock. Cos my wife always complained she does not have money. Now she is complaining that I don't support her in her shop. That she can do whatever she wants with her money.

This morning, she was raising her voice to the hearing our flat neighbors, that am a useless husband, I feel insulted. Am embarrased. That I don't support her. She said her shop rent has expired that I should give her d money but she have enough money in her account to pay it. While is asking me. Am d one that pays for house rent, I buy food stuff, I give her transport every day.

I have had enough. I will call her mum to come over and carry her daughter. I can never beat her. The last night I shouted at her she fainted not to talk of beating.

Every month my girlfriend gives me her salary and she's happy giving me.

I provide her need and I buy her gifts occasionally.

My advice: Learn to control your wife with, love, fear, anger, guilt, etc
You need to make rules & regulation. don't accept nonsense.

If she does good reward her, if she does bad punish her. Do this and you will know peace.