₦airaland Forum

pocohantas:
Yes, 4 of them. Why?

Oluwapamilerin0:
Hmmm hard to imagine any mother think of leaving her kids behind . Most women who do this are considered irresponsible no matter how reliable the man is.

pocohantas:
Emphasis on responsible father. If I trust him to take care of them, he will be with them.

mariahAngel:
...and then came Zzor

You can leave your own babies with a man?

pocohantas:
THEIR FATHER, not a man.

mariahAngel:
As long as odds are in my favour to keep them, I will keep them.
Whether their father is responsible or not is none of my business. (If him like make him be dangote) Of course, I won't keep them away from him (or even turn them against him), but they must stay with me!
I can't lose on all ends.
Yes, my decision might be based on emotions and no, I'm not apologetic about it.
I'll do whatever is good for them first, then for me. And being with me will be good for them above everything. And good for me too.

Rozcol:
Yes,Nigerian men are quick to leave kids to suffer with their mum,I will drop all of them with him,it's an indirect way to teach him some lessons and also appreciate the importance of motherhood.He would not go and be freestyling all about while I bear the burden of taking care of kids we both are responsible for.lai lai.My aunt did it and it taught the husband some lessons and they had to come back together and now living happily after deliberately torturing her in the marriage for no justifiable reasons. One sef I no go carry.

Lizzyangel:
Mature advice needed by experienced married Nairalanders.

For the past 8yrs, I've experienced the sour, sad, bitter,sweet , love and hate in marriage at a tender age of mine.

My question is, is it better to continue Living in a marriage as a single mom(shouldering responsibilities), abuses emotionally and physically, depressed and threat of life?

Or

Live as separated single mom?


All this while,the fear of the unknown TOMORROW kept me staying and taking all the bullshits I can't type here,but I've always cherished having a peaceful home conducive enough for my kids to live in,but happenings lately are making me scared of moving forward.its telling on my health and Life.

Please matured advice, corrections and guidance are needed here.

Rozcol:
Yes,Nigerian men are quick to leave kids to suffer with their mum,I will drop all of them with him,it's an indirect way to teach him some lessons and also appreciate the importance of motherhood.He would not go and be freestyling all about while I bear the burden of taking care of kids we both are responsible for.lai lai.My aunt did it and it taught the husband some lessons and they had to come back together and now living happily after deliberately torturing her in the marriage for no justifiable reasons. One sef I no go carry.

Rozcol:
Yes,Nigerian men are quick to leave kids to suffer with their mum,I will drop all of them with him,it's an indirect way to teach him some lessons and also appreciate the importance of motherhood.He would not go and be freestyling all about while I bear the burden of taking care of kids we both are responsible for.lai lai.My aunt did it and it taught the husband some lessons and they had to come back together and now living happily after deliberately torturing her in the marriage for no justifiable reasons. One sef I no go carry.

StreetFight:
Cries at old age, that's what you are planning. It will end in tears.

mariahAngel:
You be case abeg.

Rozcol:
Nothing will end in tears,I'll still be in their life while they stay with their father or is he not their father?is he not the head?are heads not meant for carrying loads?. why will he be expecting the shoulder to suddenly start carrying loads? One thing I'll learn and be perfect in it before thinking marriage is how perfectly to deal with an irresponsible husband. I can't even marry an irresponsible man sef.I went to his house alone and if I'm to leave I'll leave alone too,in a sanner clime he's not even supposed to allow me carry his kids along sef.

StreetFight:
Tell us what you have been doing to him. You didn't marry a mad man, you turned him into a beast. The woman is the only one that saw the devil face to face and discussed with him in the garden of Eden. Whatever you discussed is known to no human or Angel till today.

apatheticme:
I'm not responsible for your inability to comprehend a write up!

Any woman that likes should keep groveling and begging a man who treats her like trash, that's her business. When she's killed and buried 6ft,she will grow some sense!

Let the Alfa mails too keep treating women like trash, locking them outside and physically abusing them. A day will come when we'll read news of how their women snapped and killed them and y'all jump out with glee as usual to scream "fear women".

I know y'all are already used to bad news and are allergic to anything good and balanced coming out from relationships, but it doesn't stop me from celebrating my man who sees me as a partner in progress.

Let the people hanging around me be the ones to wail if it's fun or not, you wail about the clueless bimbos you hang around for fun and joy!

apatheticme:
And the favorite chant of Alfa mails here is 'Nigerian women are useless'.

Y'all jump out in glee labeling women with every derogatory term under the sun, no one questions you.

But fiam, you're here questioning me because I said men are a necessary evil.

Oga, I said what I said! I owe you no explanation whatsoever. Men are a necessary evil, you need them, but they are not indispensable. Any man treats you like trash, move ahead as a female. You won't die if you're alone as people make you believe here in Africa!

Of course, my man is far from evil! Using the term 'men' does not mention anybody's name. If you're not evil, simply move ahead!

Ciao!

apatheticme:
The kind of man who delegates duties and believes the person he is delegating the duty to is sensible enough to carry out the task to the letter!

As strange as that sounds to you, some of us can actually go fix our cars without the earth ceasing to rotate on its axis!

Y'all were probably raised in families where females were told they only belong to the kitchen and be baby mommas only and the guys could only carry out tasks involving some level of brain work.

Well, I wasn't raised that way. I was raised to use my hands to actually work, earn a living, and make use of my brain and solve whatever problems I'm confronted with in my daily living.

Y'all really should stop quoting me upandan because I carry out tasks beyond the kitchen and the bedroom. Variety is the spice of life, we can't all be the same, neither can we all be on instagram twerking!

apatheticme:
The kind of man who delegates duties and believes the person he is delegating the duty to is sensible enough to carry out the task to the letter!

As strange as that sounds to you, some of us can actually go fix our cars without the earth ceasing to rotate on its axis!

Y'all were probably raised in families where females were told they only belong to the kitchen and be baby mommas only and the guys could only carry out tasks involving some level of brain work.

Well, I wasn't raised that way. I was raised to use my hands to actually work, earn a living, and make use of my brain and solve whatever problems I'm confronted with in my daily living.

Y'all really should stop quoting me upandan because I carry out tasks beyond the kitchen and the bedroom. Variety is the spice of life, we can't all be the same, neither can we all be on instagram twerking!

pocohantas:
Emphasis on responsible father. If I trust him to take care of them, he will be with them.

pocohantas:
Yes, 4 of them. Why?

CHoccolaTE:
Its mostly religious and societal programming that makes women/girls decide to depend on males for things they can handle on their own.

But I agree that girls should take more steps to be more powerful, rich/independent so they dont have to depend on some male that treats them like thrash.

This stupid bragging from males about how women are dying to be with them and get married to them is so disgusting.

pocohantas:
What if he also swears that only death can separate him from his kids? Why do we women think we are the only ones capable of loving our kids this way?

I won’t make such a decision based on emotions or some mushy motherly love. I will consider myself and the kids.

If I were Linda Ikeji or Tiwa Savage, I would go with my kids. But say I am a young hustling girl, he will na throw me out and I will mumu and be dragging kids with him. He is a responsible father, has money, a job, and cars. Me with only a teaching job and Corolla, I will na jack three kids. Take them to a different location, rent a house, put them in new schools. Literally put my life on hold. Then one useless court will tell him to pay me 20k child support. Upon that he will be trying to monitor my life in their usual manner, making it hard for me to move on. Tomorrow the kids will grow and go look for him. God forbid. He should hold them, I will pay 20k child support and get visitation rights.

If e do anyhow and try to manipulate me with them, wetin Churchill do Tonto go small for wetin I go do am. When they grow they should come look for me.

apatheticme:
Only an insecure man (which most Nigerian men are anyway) will have issues with his wife/girl being able to solve basic problems or face basic challenges without always calling for help!

It is this same reason that makes most Nigerian men scared of their wives being high fliers, achievers and career driven!

Only a woman raised with Inferiority complex and a poor sense of self worth will keep waiting for a man before she can do anything.

Personally, my hubby even prefers me dealing with our mechanic for instance, because I get better results plus cheaper prices. They see him as a big man, so whenever he wants to fix anything, they bill him. Something of #7500 for instance maybe brake pad for one leg, they'll tell him 20k. But if na me, I'll go buy the stuff myself and supervise them sef. Hubby doesn't have that much time, besides he's so cool with delegating duties! So even his own car, I take it for fixing, servicing anything. We'll just exchange cars if need be.

I remember when we were still doing our building project, many tasks that I was the one who handled it, many things I was the one in charge. Infact there were days I'll be the one to go to site and supervise/coordinate workers - mason man, plumber, electrician, carpenters etc.

Infact hubby never bought a single plumbing material! From pipes, to GP Tanks, to submersible pump for borehole, I was the one who bought everything, and they were top notch at good prices! I only took the plumber along and coordinated everything!

Whatever we're doing at home, hubby believes in doing it together, including both of us working on our PhD together currently! I could go on and on.

God knows I've got no freaking business with an insecure man, that will tell you don't do this, or don't touch this. I'm amazed when I see some women that would even say their hubby don't allow them drive, I'm like wtf!

Caveat:
I know some Broke ass wimps aka Red Pillers would soon come and tag my hubby a simp for making the home a place of growth and progress, but he's way more Alpha than they could ever be all their lives! Alpha is not subjugation of women, neither is it misogyny, unfortunately these retards can't see beyond their noses!

I'll rather be single than be with a man who limits my potentials or sees me as an object to be used and discarded! I rest my case.

larryjonze:
[s]Calm down nd stop contracdicting ursef, someone who delegate duties is much more than a partner, lets just call him boss or superior in partnership we share not delegate note the difference

No be say e strange for me its just inappropriate" .. its understandable if you go fix ur car by ursef, its understandable if you pull generator, fix the bulbs or sink being a single lady buh with a male in the picture is when it becomes inappropriate.

You carry task beyond the kitchen cos apparently you married a man who sucks at men role e sha get money hope he stays @the top during sex ... abi oga assigns you to the top again[/s]

kleppur:
It's easier said. You need to go through labor first and actually know what it feels like to give birth.

larryjonze:
You carry task beyond the kitchen cos apparently you married a man who sucks at men role e sha get money hope he stays @the top during sex ... abi oga assigns you to the top again

budaatum:
apatheticme, stop engaging illiterates please.