₦airaland Forum

kleppur:
It's easier said. You need to go through labor first and actually know what it feels like to give birth.

And what makes you think I haven’t? You live in my cervix? Is it not this same labour that some babes go through and throw the child inside gutter? The same labour some babes go through and sell the kids?

Because I would leave mine with their father, not a stranger, you think I need to go through labour. In your mind, I don’t know what motherhood is. Miss me on that BS, please.

cococandy:
Even with responsible fathers who love their children, it’s harder on the kids when they are still small. Before we can get to that stage where it’s the same either way, we must work NOW to raise men who are at peace with both their masculine and feminine sides. The more feminine energies (like compassion, kindness, humility, empathy) are demonized in men, the more we raise men who can’t raise kids. It’s a sad consequence of promoting useless hyper masculinity. There must be a balance in every human.

The big reason why I wouldn’t consider leaving my children even with a responsible father is that it is VERY DIFFICULT for men to recognize signs of sexual abuse in small children. This is a nightmare for me and is a reason why I must be present in my children’s lives unless I’m dead or in jail. When they are older, can communicate better and can exercise more autonomy over themselves, the responsible father can have them

I have seen men who bathe their kids and are very protective of them. If he is that kind of man, I will leave them for him, as long as they have all the resources needed for their wellbeing with him. I see women runoff with their kids, exposing them to danger and suffering. I won’t do such.

Since time immemorial, kids have been abused under their mother’s nose. So there are careless mothers, just as there are careless fathers. Though we know which one is more. This generation of fathers are doing better than the former. Some are even the ones spoiling kids, making the mother look like the bad cop.

cococandy:
they are sleeping on you.

.

.

pocohantas:
Sure, Nigerian fathers hardly have time to raise their kids. But they have time to watch the whole UEFA. Have time to hangout at bars, drinking Harp and eating isi ewu. Have time to pursue small small girls in Moremi. Have time to go for imaginary business meetings, all to end up in hotels with their jobless lovers.

It is all about priorities.

@Mecka
This is blatant lie from the devil. Women tend to move around with their emotions compared to fact/logical based men. A 2 parent household is the best for any healthy child. Not saying single parent home kids don’t turn out great; it’s just like saying smokers are liable to die young but not all smokers die young.
To mother is to nurture
To father is to instill survival skills, discipline, rumble & tumble. A lot of Black American kids didn’t grow up with their fathers at home. Go see how it has destroyed families particularly children without discipline there.

yinkeys:
This is blatant lie from the devil. Women tend to move around with their emotions compared to fact/logical based men A 2 parent household is the best for any healthy child. Not saying single parent home kids don’t turn out great; it’s just like saying smokers are liable to die young but not all smokers die young.
To mother is to nurture
To father is to instill survival skills, discipline, rumble & tumble. A lot of Black American kids didn’t grow up with their fathers at home. Go see how it has destroyed families particularly children without discipline there.

You are crying because I want to leave the kids for you ba? After typing here, you will find a way to do both the nurturing and discipline.

.

FOLYKAZE:
As hard as this is, I just have to put out this response to the allegations against me here. Seeing this happening now is heartbreaking, I never wished for it, but when relationship becomes more a prison, situation like this is inevitable. Unfortunately, we hooked up, and certainly breaking up online.

When we met back then, it wasn't that I manipulated her mind or took advantage of her young age, she had previous relationships that didn't work. So I don't know where the idea that I fooled her is coming from. Was she coerced, absolutely no!

Into the relationship, she got pregnant and moved into what she called uncompleted building. This very apartment is where my parents and myself lived. Though not a duplex or mansion, it is what we call home. She consented to live in the house. The room wasn't conducive enough, we cohabit in there, happily. We both weathered the conditions till she delivered and also had admission. I had a job that helped us patched up our livelihood. From this job, I was earning very little but managed to foot all necessary bills for her schooling, accommodation, her well-being and that of my baby. I also renovated that uncompleted building into a tasting simple apartment. During this period I was the best husband and best daddy. Yes, she had it all.

One fateful day, a year after she graduated, I found her personal diary. In it, she record all the expenses she incurred while in school. There she stated I only gave her N50,000 financial support in her first year, and afterward did nothing. Though infuriated, I confronted her peacefully about what I saw and what she meant. She stood by her words that I did nothing and that was it. I let it slide though. Days later, she informed me she is about to start processing her degree, and that she will need my support. There I told her, Madam, you have a job already and should bear the responsibility in issue like this, not that I couldn't support but the previous ones I gave were never acknowledged or appreciated. This became the genesis of our misunderstandings. She flared up, told me she would do it all herself, and maybe with support from her family. But till date, that ambition remain a pipe dream. Yes it was a good vision, however, I can never afford to contribute into a project my effort would be worthless.

Many months while she works, she never spend a dime from her earnings. All her money were saved, but mine was meant to be spent to the last penny. She never wanted to bear any financial responsibilities. I took up every necessary bills, even though when it entails monitoring and controlling every damn expenses. This include that of the kid and her own well-being. I systematically stopped footing her bills; clothing, hair making, among others, when I observed that her spending culture was becoming wild. During my maternal granddad burial ceremony, she requested for N5000 for her hair making. I told her I can only afford to pay N2000 as I have already spent more than N400,000 on the burial. Hearing this, she not only threatened to call all her families not to attend to ceremony, but acted accordingly. On that very day, I stopped investing on her personal expenses.

Aside that, she was disrespecting my Parents. At a point, she called my Mum a witch, not only to her face but went out telling people on the street. Those she told personally that my Mum is a witch who allegedly killed out late son, informed me of this. She kept grudges with my mum till her death. This is the woman who never killed her own son or grandchild. This is the woman who fed you during your first years in Ore.

Considering the unreliable job security in the nation, I decided to learn a trade. Cocoa Merchant to be precise. Told her about my plans. And since I wouldn't be earning enough, told her to take care of the kid school fees and also some miscellaneous. Since the apprenticeship would take a year, we both agree that she will bear those expenses for a year. Unfortunately, I lost my formal Boss, and was reassigned to another Boss. I was supposed to complete this apprenticeship in December but this Boss shifted it to March this year. Much of the running of things in the house come from her. I appreciated her for that, but I did contributed somethings. She painted a scenario that she had all the bulk on her shoulder. I have personally called her in April that I will take back school fees of our son and some expenses esp feeding of our daughter. All these I have done within two months that I am free. She is here calling me Lazy and over pampered.

Some years back, my Dad saw me helping her to fetch water. I was only trying to help her but my Dad saw the other sides of my actions. He asked me to stop because I have given her an Inch and would likely go for miles in the future. She wouldn't wash my clothes, sweep the house, and take days before she wash plates. She is here on this forum, and can answer when last she washed my clothes. Its more than 10months. I raised this issie many times but she was adamant, unwilling to bend. Worst still, she deliberately cook bad food, some she cannot eat herself.

Two months ago, she called me at the middle of the night, and informed, out of the blue, me that she want a seperation. I told her, this is fine by me. And I enquired when she would be leaving. She said December this year. Leaving separately for 10 months is unreasonable. I halted her and gave her grace until June Holiday. Days later, I often inquired from her when the holiday would be. She was curious though. I gave my words and will stand by it.

The window grace was opened wide, she stubbornly decided to stay on the other side. On Monday, I almost lost my life when the boat we boarded from Ese-Odo to Irele capsized. I arrived home drenched at some mins past 10. This is the Lazy me struggling in the wild, ocean and forest looking for daily meal. She saw me drenched and do not even care to welcome me home. She was busy watching movie, while I was dying away. I told her point-blank, she is in, this week. I gave her money to prepare food the following day. Even until Wednesday, we were cool until I surprisingly saw this thread blackmailing me.

Well, I believe strongly she is been influenced and wrongly advised. This is not her. But I cannot help it anymore. She just have to go away. I have informed her family and they seem contented with my decision. I wish her well

Please for the sake of the kids, have your wife and kid stay in the house, have the rent extended to at least a year from now while you find your own accommodation as soon as possible.

As adults you can choose to stay together or separately but please when kids are involved, please put their interest first before yours. Please I beg you. I really beg you.

pocohantas:
You are crying because I want to leave the kids for you ba? After typing here, you will find away to do both the nurturing and discipline.

Single Fathers tend to raise their daughters better than single mothers. That’s actually true but I won’t bring out the facts.

If you want parenting & dating advice from an expert. Check out Suzanne Venker on YouTube.
There’s actually many reasons why people don’t even take American women serious at all. Guys mostly use them as community bicycle & there are huge reasons why the American families tend to be broken these days

yinkeys:
Single Fathers tend to raise their daughters better than single mothers. That’s actually true but I won’t bring out the facts.

Exactly why I will leave them with you na. I dey drag am with you?

pocohantas:
Exactly why I will leave them with you na. I dey drag am with you?

I’m just saying there are consequences to these western concepts

yinkeys:
I’m just saying there are consequences to these westernized concepts

I am just saying I will leave them with you. Even if they are 10, hold all the kids!

pocohantas:
I am just saying I will leave them with you. Even if they are 10, hold all the kids!

Don’t carry before you marry; na me enter you shuo. See me see trouble

yinkeys:
Single Fathers tend to raise their daughters better than single mothers. That’s actually true but I won’t bring out the facts.

If you want parenting & dating advice from an expert. Check out Suzanne Venker on YouTube.
There’s actually many reasons why people don’t even take American women serious at all. Guys mostly use them as community bicycle & there are huge reasons why the American families tend to be broken these days

I am very much interested in the facts so please bring them out.

yinkeys:
@Mecka
This is blatant lie from the devil. Women tend to move around with their emotions compared to fact/logical based men. A 2 parent household is the best for any healthy child. Not saying single parent home kids don’t turn out great; it’s just like saying smokers are liable to die young but not all smokers die young.
To mother is to nurture
To father is to instill survival skills, discipline, rumble & tumble. A lot of Black American kids didn’t grow up with their fathers at home. Go see how it has destroyed families particularly children without discipline there.

The Black American community and family has been destroyed by the country's unfair treatment, racism, discrimination and as a result poverty and drug abuse in the first place.

In my family our mothers and grandmothers instilled much more disciplined in us than our fathers/grandfathers. My father and grandfather were much softer with us kids than the women, especially with us girls. Saying that all fathers do A while mothers do B is an overgeneralization. It doesn't work like this in real life.

In my own family I am the stricter disciplinarian. You can soften daddy's heart with your sweet face and voice but when mommy is angry you can only ask God for mercy.

And if you think that women are less capable of operating on logic then compare how well they run countries and companies and compare it to Nigeria that has never had a female leader. Cheers!

Hathor5:
The Black American community and family has been destroyed by the country's unfair treatment, racism, discrimination and as a result poverty and drug abuse in the first place.

In my family our mothers and grandmothers instilled much more disciplined in us than our fathers/grandfathers. My father and grandfather were much softer with us kids than the women, especially with us girls. Saying that all fathers do A while mothers do be is an overgeneralization. It doesn't work like this in real life.

In my own family I am the stricter disciplinarian. You can soften daddy's heart with your sweet face and voice but when mommy is angry you can only ask God for mercy.

And if you think that women are less capable of operating on logic then compare how well they run countries and companies and compare it to Nigeria that has never had a female leader. Cheers!

No disrespect ma’am but many women can’t handle power because of their biological makeup(monthly flow, emotional instability etc).

Even the Bible says it’s better for a man in financial troubles to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious & angry woman. God said the man is the head. Our brains & wiring are of different make.
If you give some women an inch they’d take a mile.

Let me give you a tangible example because I’ve studied female nature while dating.
Virtually every woman on earth prefers to date a man that brings chaos/drama(excitement) into her life instead of a man that brings peace/stability(boring).
Women can’t live without drama or maybe I’d state over 95% lol.

Anger isn’t a disciplinary trait; that’s an emotion.

Well most men build houses, roads, infrastructure, work dangerous jobs to keep the economy going & operate on a fact based reality early in life compared to most women.
Men are the disposable gender so you won’t understand things from a guys angle.
Women love opportunistically

If most men are handling it bad, I guarantee a ton of women will handle it worse.
What a man can do a woman can do better is one of the societal lies put out there.
Nigeria is simply down because of a few factors. We have warlords that want to keep the power baton amongst themselves and a powerful way to do that is by keeping the natives in penury.
Our leaders copied all the white man has done in ancient times to conquered territories.
Military men think a certain way
All is fair in love & war; we are at war with our own.

In conclusion I’m not saying all women but most, over 90%.
I might exclude the women in STEM disciplines
Apologies for all the grammar errors
I’m actually multitasking right now & barely proof read before submitting

yinkeys:
No disrespect ma’am but many women can’t handle power because of their biological makeup(monthly flow, emotional instability etc).

Even the Bible says it’s better for a man in financial troubles to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious & angry woman. God said the man is the head. Our brains & wiring are of different make.
If you give some women an inch they’d take a mile.

Let me give you a tangible example because I’ve studied female nature while dating.
Virtually every woman on earth prefers to date a man that brings chaos/drama(excitement) into her life instead of a man that brings peace/stability(boring).
Women can’t live without drama or maybe I’d state over 95% lol.

Anger isn’t a disciplinary trait; that’s an emotion.

Well most men build houses, roads, infrastructure, work dangerous jobs to keep the economy going & operate on a fact based reality early in life compared to most women.
Men are the disposable gender so you won’t understand things from a guys angle.

If most men are handling it bad, I guarantee a ton of women will handle it worse.
What a man can do a woman can do better is one of the societal lies put out there.
Nigeria is simply down because of a few factors. We have warlords that want to keep the power baton amongst themselves and a powerful way to do that is by keeping the natives in penury.
Our leaders copied all the white man has done in ancient times to conquered territories.
Military men think a certain way
All is fair in love & war; we are at war with our own.

In conclusion I’m not saying all women but most, over 90%.
I might exclude the women in STEM disciplines

Zero facts. All recycled stuff based on emotions and self-interest.

If our monthly flow makes us so much out of control why do you leave children in our care?

And you call yourself the logical gender.



Now go and study the achievements of Buhari and Merkel.

pocohantas:
And what makes you think I haven’t? You live in my cervix? Is it not this same labour that some babes go through and throw the child inside gutter? The same labour some babes go through and sell the kids?

Because I would leave mine with their father, not a stranger, you think I need to go through labour. In your mind, I don’t know what motherhood is. Miss me on that BS, please.

Of course there are wicked people out there that can throw their child inside gutter, but like I said before you need to go through it first to know where you belong. I know for a fact you haven't. You don't have the experience, you don't know what it feels like...So you can easily type anything you want about this..

kleppur:
Of course there are wicked people out there that can throw their child inside gutter, but like I said before you need to go through it first to know where you belong. I know for a fact you haven't. You don't have the experience, you don't know what it feels like...So you can easily type anything you want about this..

Continue consoling yourself. Ndi labour experience. Fear done dey catch them.

Hathor5:
Zero facts. All recycled stuff based on emotions and self-interest.

If our monthly flow makes us so much out of control why do you leave children in our care?

And you call yourself the logical gender.



Now go and study the achievements of Buhari and Merkel.

Prior to social media, ma’am there are treaties first world countries force developing nations to sign for their benefit. Only a few greedy sellout rulers benefit from.
First world countries are benefitting from our predicament.

Visa, Education, Tourism etc

If we are to add race to this.
You don’t know whites are powerful; even buhari is afraid of them
Ever heard of economic hitmen ?

Europeans suppressed & murdered native Indian Americans, native Canadians,
They sit on top of the global food chain
They actually take out rulers who don’t comply with technology

Men decide where power resides, whether or not they know it
Men have civilized the world over there to the point where they decided to make her the first figure head.
Oh well this isn’t a debate.

pocohantas:
Continue consoling yourself. Ndi labour experience. Fear done dey catch them.

Lolzz.. fear for wetin nau?
It's just the truth, go through it first.. You wey dey very emotional, you no go fit leave your pikin with any man. Be here forming..

yinkeys:
Prior to social media, ma’am there are treaties first world countries force developing nations to sign for their benefit. Only a few greedy sellout rulers benefit from.
First world countries are benefitting from our predicament.

Visa, Education, Tourism etc

If we are to add race to this.
You don’t know whites are powerful; even buhari is afraid of them
Ever heard of economic hitmen ?

Europeans suppressed & murdered native Indian Americans, native Canadians,
They sit on top of the global food chain
They actually take out rulers who don’t comply with technology

Men decide where power resides, whether or not they know it
Men have civilized the world over there to the point where they decided to make her the first figure head.
Oh well this isn’t a debate.

So the white men was more logical than you to gain so much power? Is it why you need to tell yourself that you are better than a woman?

Instead of using your superior logic you are here playing the victim.

apatheticme:
Professor!!!

I'm sure you really had to go do some research before coming up with this retort! But it's all good, at least I'm rattling your feathers and putting your lazy brains to some good work!

As with all Partnerships, especially the kinda partnership that exists in marriage/relationship, someone still takes the lead, we call him leader and not necessarily boss! Since it's a team, the team leader can assign tasks, doesn't make him a dictator! Doesn't imply that he doesn't do his own share of every other role!

I'm sure when you were in school (that's if you ever had the opportunity to go to school) or at work (that's if you have one) you'll have been assigned at one time or the other to teams for assignments/tasks etc. Y'all on the team are mates, but someone still assigns tasks or duties to you and we call him or her a team leader, ain't it??

But then you're too in a hurry to display your ignorance to the world!



Of course it will be inappropriate for you now, since you've always been a jobless male who has never been so engaged, busy with work or other engagements that could warrant you asking your partner to go attend to other tasks that come up simply because you've got one pencil deek that makes you be called a man in society!

It would be inappropriate since y'all Hypocritical lots only love to wail about women being useless and only able to offer pvssy! But on seeing one who is actually useful now, and can offer so many things, you panic and start hyperventilating because this particular case challenges the status quo you're already used to, you simply can't wrap your head around it!

Well, you do not get to define inappropriate in my life/relationship/marriage or whatever the heck I choose to do!

I chose to happily carry out those tasks, I'm not complaining! Deal with it! These are the same Hypocritical you in society who come here to condemn women for not being able to have brains or solve problems except the man is there, but you have headache now upon hearing there's actually a female somewhere who can carry out tasks that actually improve the quality of life of herself and family, without disturbing anybody!

Can you see that you are part of our problem in this part of the world!! A white chick does it, oh cool! A black woman does it, it's inappropriate! You're already so threatened that this kinda woman would make you feel less like a man, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Only God knows how y'all males reason in this part of the world! Oh I forgot, you must be an Alfa mail

Inappropriate kee you there, brainless wimp!



Define men's role, oga professor!

At least, your hypocrisy is glaring for everyone to see here quite apparently!

Since when did it become a man's role for a man to stay on top during sex?? Your sex life must be as boring as hell since y'all only stick to missionary in your relationship (that's if you have one and you're not actually gay or MGTOW).

I know say you don jonze for this your miserable life, since your name sef carry jonzing! Carry your jonzing go front oga, this is Monday morning, I'm already at work!

Keep thinking about me throughout today, since I already live rent free in your head!

Ciao!

Eeeyah pele ! just open it to industrial fan or A/c las las you will be alright, didnt know i scratched ur sliced wound that badt try stitch i care
You need me to think about you cos ur hubby just can't even do anytin rite boya ko call on God i can't help

Lizzyangel:
He's taking my wanting a peaceful home for my kids for granted which he's using against me every now and then, I couldn't sleep all through the night today cos of him, I was operated on June last year due to HBP, I was going for medical treatment and consultations for good 3months, the doctors tried listening to my story which I told them was personal, then I was advised then to HELP myself cos the rate at which my blood pressure was going, the worse might happen and I was 26yrs then, too young to die, we only live once, said the doctor.

your life is very important for the well-being of your child, be wise. It's only the living that will take care of the living-child.you better escape for your your life, so that your child will not suffer.if the man doesn't value you, then value yourself.

kleppur:
Lolzz.. fear for wetin nau?
It's just the truth, go through it first.. You wey dey very emotional, you no go fit leave your pikin with any man. Be here forming..

Motherhood is beyond labour and I will never inconvenience myself and kids to prove that I am a good mother. Nobody on this earth can blackmail me into that shit.

Hathor5:
So the white men was more logical than you to gain so much power? Is it why you need to tell yourself that you are better than a woman?

Instead of using your superior logic you are here playing the victim.

To your question
It’s because most women love their babies more than themselves

I never said I am superior
I only said God or biology by design picked men to lead.


For example; if burglars get into your house are you telling me you would be in front leading the family or you’d let your husband do that while you protect the kids ?
Ok o lead

pocohantas:
Motherhood is beyond labour and I will never inconvenience myself and kids to prove that I am a good mother. Nobody on this earth can blackmail me into that shit.

Okay poco

yinkeys:
To your question
It’s because most women love their babies more than themselves

I never said I am superior
I only said God or biology by design picked men to lead.


For example; if burglars get into your house are you telling me you would be in front leading the family or you’d let your husband do that while you protect the kids ?
Ok o lead

Not the black man then, right?

Hathor5:
Not the black man then, right?

Based on reality; every race has its strengths & weaknesses from a general stand point

If you want to move with the blue & green eyed demons feel free

yinkeys:
Based on reality; every race has its strengths & weaknesses from a general stand point

If you want to move with the blue & green eyed demons feel free

It's not about strengths and weaknesses. It's rather about your line of argument that God chooses who leads and God has not chosen your race.

I love it when the logical gender uses the Bible to appear logical.

Hathor5:
It's not about strengths and weaknesses. It's rather about your line of argument that God chooses who leads and God has not chosen your race.

I love it when the logical gender uses the Bible to appear logical.

Lol seems you don’t know it’s stated in the Bible that this world is of the devils
It is filled with wisdom my friend

yinkeys:
Lol seems you don’t know it’s stated in the Bible that this world is of the devils
It is filled with wisdom my friend

And once again you prove that you can not reason for yourself beyond the Bible.

You need to learn to distinguish between facts and beliefs, between subjective opinions and objective truth.

Like I said your opinion is an opinion and it is based on belief, bias, emotion and selfishness.

And for your information, there have been and are millions of women who have used their logic to achieve what you can only dream of.

I am sorry if the women in your environment are driven by hormones and lack logic.