₦airaland Forum

Shayron. Believe me when I tell you some family can be the biggest pain in the ass in some people's lives.

I've come to notice that, some family members are always smiling when they see their family member suffering, while some extremely love it when their family members always come begging them for one of two assistance.

Now the reason for this varies. Some will tell you this and this uncle did this to me when I was in need. So they see it as revenge doing this and that to that uncles kids, forgetting it's not that uncles kids who hurt or maltreated them.

All I can tell you is, anyone who refuse to help you, is not meant to help you. Tell your friend to move forward and to stop backing up the wrong tree. There are people out there who will help her without batting an eyelid.

The more she continue to beg her uncle, the more she belittle herself. She should move on with her life.

Lol, you dey talk uncle, my dad finds it difficult to tell his clients to help us, yet he can go extra mile for outsiders.
Although tuition and career path development sure, if you tell am sey you need money, but just tell am, sir help me tell so so person to help fix us for his company, Baba go dey give us excuse.
Abeg, all man to his cross ooo.

Harsh reality.

Felt same way too but to be frank??
I made peace with the fact that not everyone have the spirit of assisting...

I practically live this life like an orphan.

Gaskia

sunshineV:
they actually don't care. it's not an act

Hmmmmm

But they don’t really care

With what I have read here so far I have come to the conclusion that Nigerian people are heartless. There is no love in this country. We claim woke but our level of timidity is on another level.

Oluwa provide wife 4 me because all the gals way i don dey see both off and online na scam.

Y do ppl like playing God

I'll even help those who tried to stop!

Beancounter94:
Because in Nigeria, when you use your influence to get loans for family members, that loan won't get paid back. Attempts to get that money would be met with 'but we are family now?'

Because in Nigeria, when you get a job for a family member, that job won't be well done, because 'i am related to the big person, no one can touch me'

The concept of family in Nigeria is 'taking advantage of someone because that someone is related to me'. Better to help stangers than to help family.

P.S The job your firend may be going for,....she might not be qualified.

Somehow true

Sonnobax15:

Honestly,no one will care About your well-being especially if you're broke and you don't have anything to offer to them

That's how this modern world has be re-wired to be...... Don't expect the least 50% love from anyone when you're 100% broke

Even my popsy self wey be dey show me small regards when my bakery dey function well,the very moment wey things begin backslide,na once popsy change am for me

Hahahhahahaha

Mustiboy:
The problem with you people is the entitlement mentality you have, expecting everyone to ask after you all the time and render help.

I can't remember the last time any of my family or relatives called to ask about my wellbeing, but I don't get angry over it or blame anyone. They all are hustling and have their own hurdles to face.

The question we should ask ourselves before judging anyone is, "When last have I myself checked on anyone or even rendered any help to them?"

I'm in my early twenties, and, as young as I am, I render help every now and then to my cousins who call almost everytime to breath down on my neck. What about helping friends and strangers?
I've done so many that I can't even remember.

I don't help because I might get a return help in the future if their lives get better; nah, my own life will surely get better too. I help because it's the right thing to do and when I'm comfortable doing so.

Many of you expecting people to help you don't joke with your #50. Many people are that stingy.

My point is, nobody owes you all the bullshit y'all clamour for.

Yes, I know family are supposed to help and love truly, but if you see anyone amongst them who's well-to-do and doesn't help regardless, forget their ass and move on with your life.

Not everyone has a good heart, and you need to understand this.

There are good and bad family members and friends.

It's that simple.

Yes sir

This issue is of different categorie
1 AJUNMOBI O KAN TAANU.. It's a Yoruba proverb , for someone to be your close relative doesn't guarantee that he or she will help you, some prefer to face their immediate family I mean kids and wife only.
2 PAST FAMILY HISTORY.. many rich family member didn't not get help too when they are struggling. So you expect them to be of help too when they eventually arrive.
3 FAMILY ISSUE.. Take for instant you get a loan for a family member and he or she refuse to pay even when they can. If you persuade them too much they will say are we not family member.
4 MOST WICKED ENEMY SOMETIMES COME FROM THE FAMILY.. I mean spiritually. As a Nigerian you should understand this better.
5 ONE RICH MAN IN A POOR FAMILY.. when you have only just one rich man or just a few of them in a family what do you expect. how many do you think they can help .. when the pressure is too much they will distance themselves from family..
NOTE: it's only those sent by God that can help.. And if you receive help from a family member please don't misuse the opportunity it may hinder help of another family member.. If you didn't receive help from any family member now please don't have the wicked mindset that you too will not help .

Peppysco:
I have forgotten the Yoruba adage that could have explicitly explained what I want to say but, I will translate in English and I know people who remember will quote it.
'The fact that you were born together or someone is your brother is not a guarantee that he will come good for you in you moment of needs but whoever God has directed to show you mercy will surely do'.
This happens a lot and most of us can actually attest to this but for me ooo, I nor dey send them again. Na them dey even call me say I nor dey call again, my answer, na busy I busy and now, dem see say bobo don step up too

That's the correct thing to do to develop

Shayron:
I have been on this forum for quite sometime, I have been a guest all this while but my friend is in desperate need of help so I figure out it would be better if I seek you guys opinion.

I have a friend who's uncle is a well to do man works in a big organization and can use is influence to secure jobs or loans for my freind.

My freind has been at his Mercy for quite some time now, she is very hard-working though but she has witnessed the man help those who ain't even family members secure jobs in great places.

This is someone she calls family and uncle. This is not the first time of seeing this, I have seen this quite a lot it's very common amongst our people here in the south.

My question is why do family members turn your backs on you even though they have the power to help you out of your current situation. Blood they say is Thicke than water if I can't help my cousin or nephew then why are we family. She has been begging this man, and this man clearly can work things out.
She has a work herself but it's not self sustaining coupled with the act that she has younger ones to look after.

I have told her to look elsewhere that sometimes our helpers are not close as we think? What kinda advie would you give her

Time's changed...Buhari government made it worst,worse and if there's a word like worstest!!..everybody is all about money money money,and it's really sad,no care,no love,no genuinely act and kindness,everybody just wan extort,steal,use brain deceive innocent person pikin...Things don cost, EVERYTHING don change,men just wan survive and oppress...Too bad....only few genuine,loyal and humble ones like me around...we make money still but we no dey shout.

Well said.....
But you just over-generalized !

There are a lot of cases where family members rise to the occasion as well.

[quote author=Beancounter94 post=104452924]Well said.....
But you just over-generalized !

There are a lot of cases where family members rise to the occasion as well.

Gone are the days you will rely on family members for help. This is one reason I don't blame GBoys, no one is ready to listen to you.

Go and make money anyway or anyhow (carry pure water for head or find good lappy and iphone and get down to work)and forget them too.

Shayron:
I have been on this forum for quite sometime, I have been a guest all this while but my friend is in desperate need of help so I figure out it would be better if I seek you guys opinion.

I have a friend who's uncle is a well to do man works in a big organization and can use is influence to secure jobs or loans for my freind.

My freind has been at his Mercy for quite some time now, she is very hard-working though but she has witnessed the man help those who ain't even family members secure jobs in great places.

This is someone she calls family and uncle. This is not the first time of seeing this, I have seen this quite a lot it's very common amongst our people here in the south.

My question is why do family members turn your backs on you even though they have the power to help you out of your current situation. Blood they say is Thicke than water if I can't help my cousin or nephew then why are we family. She has been begging this man, and this man clearly can work things out.
She has a work herself but it's not self sustaining coupled with the act that she has younger ones to look after.

I have told her to look elsewhere that sometimes our helpers are not close as we think? What kinda advie would you give her

Why would someone be depending on family member for anything? For my own side, nobody expects anything from anybody even blood brothers.

Just go somewhere and seek for help, may God u Amen!

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggar
Just normal for Africans


They don't want to help their loved ones

Not knowing that the easiest way to become a Billionaire is to ensure that you help people around you to become a millionaire first....

And I have noticed something...it seems the uncles from our mother side are more caring and assisting than those moda fuckkking uncles from our fathers family .....and the most annoying thing is that we always share the same ancestral surname with those fuckkking uncles from the fathers family....still they will not be willing to help

So op...if that your friend's uncle is from the father's family....your friend should not rely on him...
Anyway....what do I know....am just a weed smoker, a pussy banger and a drunkard

Everybody is an uncle to both the mother side and the father side,unless he is the only child,boy or girl

Wahala for who they depend on family oo. I don't give a shit about them.

You said it all.

They do not come once, they turn it into weekly or monthly pay.

Even in your own business, they play owner's connection to other employees lowering morale.

Best best, give them a lump sum or whatever you can afford to start a petty business and tell them not to come back.

If you see how some of them spend your hard earned money, you will cry.

Beancounter94:
Because in Nigeria, when you use your influence to get loans for family members, that loan won't get paid back. Attempts to get that money would be met with 'but we are family now?'

Because in Nigeria, when you get a job for a family member, that job won't be well done, because 'i am related to the big person, no one can touch me'

The concept of family in Nigeria is 'taking advantage of someone because that someone is related to me'. Better to help stangers than to help family.

P.S The job your firend may be going for,....she might not be qualified.

Family? I don't believe in that concept again.

Really i do not know why it so difficult to help one anothet in a family, do you know i studied Accountancy in school because i had an uncle who was the ICAN president at the time, After my graduation i went to see him but it was all stories until i reconnect myself to God who was the Destiny maker, look at me today all is well now.

This one the common for Nigeria
Paying evil with evil








SMH for some people's attitude towards life especially we we black

In my own case I have an uncle who my father raised through school and he lived on my parents. He's a top officer in INEC but yet can't help me with a job, not even as a staff or adhoc staff. One naira you can't get even get from him. Now I have plenty of them like that in the family but you know what "Ajumobi o kan taanu, Eni olorun ran sini lo n seni loore" Oluwa a ran alaanu e ko e to ba to asiko, ma foya, stand firm, have faith this challenges will soon be over.

Mine act like I don't exist cos I decided not to study medicine (if I had, I'd had been in London) but wetin concern me, still schooling, got a gig earning me $200-$500 every month and some investments as well so I have less-zero reason to call them for anything.

Vivov21e:
nobody owes you shiiitttttt
U heard me right?

U are indeed enraged
And I don't blame you.
That is why Nigeria is in this rot today.

BigDawsNet:
You need to understand if God doesn't Destin your uncle to help you even if his a billionaire...he will not ...

Some people today receive blessings,favour, scholarships, great offer from someone they have no connection with or related to ...

Just be prayerful and ask God to direct your helper to you....

I'm a big example of that, none of my family member from mother/father side know my wellbeing, they don't even know if I ever existed and me sef no ever dey call them too... Someone faraway in Canada that I haven't met for once currently helping me to climb the ladder but once they're in need that's when they will know I exist just this Sunday a cousin of mine that we no dey rappor hit me on Facebook I was surprise later I find out he's stranded in Ghana and want to come back to naija and I couldn't help out cux of the huge amount I have to put the matter for head like gala follow my popsy talk when e send the money to him yesterday... Don't expect anything from family member just work on yourself and they will come back

True, I have a very rich uncle, but all my pleas fall on deaf ears, well I've stopped begging him to assist me. God knows best! Im not entitled to his money. Its his choice to assist me or not. And I kid u not! If he needs my assistance,I wouldn't hesitate to help him!

The best thing is not to expect anything from anybody. I will not expect help from any family.

Focus on yourself, work hard, and keep working. The only thing i expect from any family is kind words, because it is free, and does not cost a thing.

First of all, your friend could have spiritual problem, let her go and remove the blockage first. Secondly, your friend should know that legally that her uncle own her nothing, if her uncle decided to help her, that is a privilege not a right.

That is good, if any family needs your assistance, and if you can help, help them.


But don't expect anything from anyone, and i pray i never have to ask anyone for help, i rather help others.


Family in Nigeria has turn to only family, when you need money. For me money is not even what is important. Its the togetherness and kindness and good relationship, that you can count on. Lol everyone in Nigeria is all about money . And how they can benefit quickly .

Some requests are annoying, they think you are a bank, and they ask for huge money, they know, they cannot pay back, and they are not transparent. This family, the way they do it now in Nigeria, one has to be cautious

Lebronjames23:
True, I have a very rich uncle, but all my pleas fall on deaf ears, well I've stopped begging him to assist me. God knows best! Im not entitled to his money. Its his choice to assist me or not. And I kid u not! If he needs my assistance,I wouldn't hesitate to help him!