₦airaland Forum

binarymachine:
I thought you loved me… you used to be so charming and nice to me, texting me almost every second of the day…..oh babe, you’re so nice, you’re beautiful, we are so compatible. Come meet my mom. Two months into the Relationship, Boom. The real narcissistic personality comes out. They are not able to regulate their emotions any longer. They become very angry quickly especially when they’re not getting their way, they become very hypersensitive to criticism. They literally doubts you on almost everything leaving you feeling like you’ve gone crazy.

Narcissistic partners are very captivating at the initial stage of a relationship and with time, the relationship becomes very challenging, how well do you know your partner? How well can you tell if they have these traits? Accordingly, There are certain things to look out for in your partner to conclusively tell he or she is narcissistic.

The term “Narcissism” is most times used in recent years without understanding it’s indept meaning. Let’s look at the meaning of narcissism.

What is Narcissism?

Narcissism as otherwise seen as Narcissistic personality disorders (NPD) by psychologist is defined as a trait that solely relates to insecurity, a pattern which is characterized by lack of empathy, controlling, arrogant, inability for one to manage any kind of disappointment, chronic validation seeking, feeling entitled, grandiosity, extremely self centered with some degree of selfishness. Study shows that there are 4 types of Narcissism and not all Narcissist are the same. For the purpose of this topic I may not want to go into that. Alot of people have either found themselves in relationships with such partners or encountered people who exhibit these tendencies.

Who Is A Narcissistic Partner?

Narcissistic Partner is an insecure person in a relationship who seem very charming and nice at the start of a relationship but later becomes that person who lacks empathy, feels entitled, always expecting special treatment to be given to them but nobody else, they’re very concerned about their appearance, very prone to throwing tantrums, with too much sense of self importance, they get angry very quickly especially if they don’t get their way.

How Well can you tell if your partner is a narcissist?

Ever noticed your partner liking and showing so much care at the beginning of the relationship and later declines as the likability decreases, they only tend to appreciate you when in need? They become highly self centered, Your value comes when you’re able to meet their needs, they get hurt and lash out easily, their only concerns are their goals and reputation, lacks empathy whereby your significant other should be loving. They are all about knowing how you feel about them. all about themselves. Desperately needing validation and adoration, Very controlling, watch their reaction toward criticism, do they over react? Are they very manipulative and defensive? Do they make you feel bad for ever speaking up? Are they the type that’s always on the “ I know more than you” side? Feeling too important, acting like they know more than their partner while their partner is always wrong? Projecting everything they can back at you leaving you feeling You’re not enough, Are they ready to sacrifice anything on the platter of their ego? With too much sense of entitlement? These are signs you should look out for in your partner, if you find these traits in them, it’s safe to say they may be narcissist.

Ultimately, Being in a relationship with a narcissistic partner takes alot of work and patience because they make you feel very special until these feelings start to shift , as soon as there are some stress in their system, maybe things not going as planned, work day didn’t go the way they want, kids behaving badly, they become manipulative, Gaslights you, egocentric, extremely self centered and you begin to blame yourself for their actions, you devalue yourself, you loose focus and self esteem.

Narcissistic partners projects issues or fault back unto their partners, they say things like, “you made me do what I did, you didn’t allow me to finish what I had to say, you interrupted me” . Once this happens, you may not want to confront them any longer, they dismiss you with that, they make you understand their point is more important than what you had to say. The point you’re trying to make at that point doesn’t make any sense. They make you look like you’re the controlling one while they are ,trying to make you feel you’re the one with the issue here, and you’ll just pull back and begin to apologize. This is exactly what they want ,they want you to feel you’re the one with the problem and not them. If you try to point their mistakes or remind them, maybe they forgot to pay some bills they promised, they will be like” because you’ve done it before, please face your problems.

People in this relationship always feel they’re not enough“ If I was enough, he wouldn’t cheat on me, if I was enough, he wouldn’t insult me, if I was enough, he would be present when I needed him, if I was enough he wouldn’t do this and that” These aching feeling of not being enough is one of those Signs you’re currently in a relationship with a narcissist, you keep making excuses for them , hoping they’ll change, but no matter how you try, they just make you feel you’re never enough. Oh please, just stop this, the truth is that it has nothing to do with you, they just can’t regulate their self esteem, they’re are now insecure, they now feel entitled, broken inside, they tend to protect it by all means, they feel no one is better than them.

Unfortunately, people with narcissistic personality often see nothing wrong with what they do, as such there’s no point for change in them, in as much as a narcissist cannot completely change, there are certain things they could do in hope to recovering such Relationship. Narcissistic partners should break out of the norm and focus on showing more empathy for others, they should care about how others feel, they should drop their ego, Stop thinking they are better than others, they should welcome critics as a step to their growth and reviving a narcissistic Relationship.
Source:
https://flipmemes.com/2021/06/25/narcissistic-relationship-how-well-can-you-tell-if-you-are-dating-a-narcissist/

Wow, you're so on point

A narcissist partner or sibling even parent can cause you alot of emotional trauma! No peace they're always ready for quarrels all the time. Peace is very expensive with these people! Pls be at alert they pretend so much n relationship but you know you cannot hide a smoke that character will sure come out so singles use your head because if u marry such you will end up being lonely in that marriage!

Seun Mynd44 Ishilove lalasticlala We need to educate Nigerians more on this Topic. This is the root cause of Nigeria problems. Our leaders are bunch of Narcs and Psychopaths.

I didn't read, please carry your educative write-up to education section, we are all watching bbn now and this one is forming professor. mtcheww

Wittyduchess:
I have met quite a few ,covert and overt type.

But the covert type are the most dangerous, you won't even know what hit you until you are hooked like a druggie looking for a fix.

You really know them well

Narcissist target mostly the INFJs because they make them feel better of themselves.

But i think only an INFJ can pick on their emotions if they no how.

TheWolfen:
I encounter narcissistic minded people both as friends, colleagues at work and in romantic relationship.
One this I can say about them is that they had so much Mastered the art of playing Mind games and Gaslighting and one can be free only when he or she understand narcissists for what they really are

I have a family member who is a Covert Narcissist. He is afraid of me cause I know how to handle him. Especially when he goes into a rage(anger) like a lazy dolt ...Very empty and weak people.

abbey621:
Here's a shocker, majority of humans in this world are narcissists. It is one of the core traits of being human, let no one tell you otherwise! In life everything must be looked at in terms of severity, we all have that dark side but majority of us are fortunate to have anchors that limits that darkness. Behavioral analysis of the human psyche is a controversial yet often misguided journey, what you call narcissistic, another will call assertive or leadership. For example in the business world, the best and most successful business moguls are by definition narcissist, they are obssessed with their craft and often will break your heart if you don't have a thick skin. In relationships, if you are dating a man or married to a man that basically does everything for you then naturally you've given him the power of a narcissist, same goes for guys who can't cook, sleep or think properly without their girlfriend/wife.

It's part of life and it is completely unavoidable, the real question here is this, how does one narcisst maintain a relationship with another narcisst? Think about it, unless you don't have an emotional connection with your partner, how do you resist the urge to have a say in how they dress, eat, mingle etc? Your woman did hair, makeup and you didn't even notice due to hectic work schedule, do you call her a narcissist for having emotional tantrum or getting upset? You are broke and could not fulfill a promise to your wife so you bone face and start a fight just to avoid that promise, are you a narcissist? It's one thing to throw around fancy words and use theories, it's another to actually view things in practical/real life.

Every human has Narcissistic traits in one way or the other but if you want to tell me the term "Narcissism" is exaggerated then there is no point arguing with you. Believe me some Narcissists willingly submit themselves for therapy because they discover they aren't wired the same way with rest of humans while most are living in denial. But if you still feel they don't exist, like i said there is no point trying to convince you. It's just like saying Bipolar and ADHD doesn't exist.

BTW I totally agree with you on people having dark sides a.k.a Shadow self. Are you a Jungian?

Very very true

While I was reading the post, all I saw was the picture of my ex girlfriend. She is a perfect example of Narcissist.
Thank God o, it's in the past now.

Ladylawyer:
I didn't know about the word naracissim until recently. And i also learnt one thing, they mostly attach themselves to people with low self esteem. If you value yourself they wouldn't have so much power over you and so they will take off with the speed of light because the supply which they seek from you, they will not get.
They feel better when they oppress you and make you cry. The tears of their significant other gives the narcissist so much joy.

Are you really a lawyer? Or just a nickname

beyondPen:
Narcissist target mostly the INFJs because they make them feel better of themselves.

But i think only an INFJ can pick on their emotions if they no how.

Yes INFJs and INFPs are their main targets. As these two are mostly in touch with emotions. So Narcissists like tampering with their emotions until one day, They will awaken(Mostly INFJ) and start seeing the patterns in which they operate.. That's the end of games for the Narcs.

bigcee:
You really know them well

they are the real "slow poison".

dannyrhymes600:
Op you are on point. Nairalanders won't understand or care to read because it doesn't have pornographic content. Best post I have read this week

;DWICKED

Ladylawyer:
I didn't know about the word naracissim until recently. And i also learnt one thing, they mostly attach themselves to people with low self esteem. If you value yourself they wouldn't have so much power over you and so they will take off with the speed of light because the supply which they seek from you, they will not get.
They feel better when they oppress you and make you cry. The tears of their significant other gives the narcissist so much joy.

wetin your ex do you

I am currently dating one presently. We started late June and I felt I was lucky because he was always calling and showing care. But recently I have started seeing the other side of him. He always likes to be in control and always uses this statement when we are settling issues " let me finish". He never sees anything wrong with what he does.

I can't even talk to any guy, he feels they are asking me out. Once he is angry he doesn't care where we are he will just burst out. In turn he will blame me for making him act that way. This my first time to meet such, I never knew relationship was this hard until now.

As an Alpha redpiller, i don't have any qualms with a narcist. na who get time dey do boyfriend and girlfriend. the GidRedpiller has more to say on this.

Just lemme say you write this for my ex. I hope she's also here reading this aesthetical post because she's lost already.
I pray may God unshackle her and others experiencing the samething.

Chawoan:
I am currently dating one presently. We started late June and I felt I was lucky because he was always calling and showing care. But recently I have started seeing the other side of him. He always likes to be in control and always uses this statement when we are settling issues " let me finish". He never sees anything wrong with what he does.

I can't even talk to any guy, he feels they are asking me out. Once he is angry he doesn't care where we are he will just burst out. In turn he will blame me for making him act that way. This my first time to meet such, I never knew relationship was this hard until now.

Run!! It's still Early. Don't fvvck up your mental health.

Finally, one of the very few sensible posts here on Nairaland. Nice one OP.

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Every human possess one or more traits of what we can term narcissism...... The worst of them all are those who argue that they do not possess it or those who hypocritically point fingers at others.



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Chawoan:
I am currently dating one presently. We started late June and I felt I was lucky because he was always calling and showing care. But recently I have started seeing the other side of him. He always likes to be in control and always uses this statement when we are settling issues " let me finish". He never sees anything wrong with what he does.

I can't even talk to any guy, he feels they are asking me out. Once he is angry he doesn't care where we are he will just burst out. In turn he will blame me for making him act that way. This my first time to meet such, I never knew relationship was this hard until now.

You better run away from the lunatic.

[quote author=Smallpreek post=104465291][/quote]You are here sharing naked pictures of pornstars seeking attention and supply. Now I have given you that fuel you want. drink it and stay happy.. Narcissist like you. Don't quote me with that photo again else I will track you.

R2bees:
Every human has Narcissistic traits in one way or the other but if you want to tell me the term "Narcissism" is exaggerated then there is no point arguing with you. Believe me some Narcissists willingly submit themselves for therapy because they discover they aren't wired the same way with rest of humans while most are living in denial. But if you still feel they don't exist, like i said there is no point trying to convince you. It's just like saying Bipolar and ADHD doesn't exist.

BTW I totally agree with you on people having dark sides a.k.a Shadow self. Are you a Jungian?

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Thank you. My point exactly!

Even on this thread, almost everyone are calling their ex a narcist and I believe their ex would probably be saying same thing if they read a thread like this.


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[quote author=IVORY2009 post=104464994]Are you really a lawyer? Or just a nickname [/quote

I am a lawyer dear

R2bees:
Every human has Narcissistic traits in one way or the other but if you want to tell me the term "Narcissism" is exaggerated then there is no point arguing with you. Believe me some Narcissists willingly submit themselves for therapy because they discover they aren't wired the same way with rest of humans while most are living in denial. But if you still feel they don't exist, like i said there is no point trying to convince you. It's just like saying Bipolar and ADHD doesn't exist.

BTW I totally agree with you on people having dark sides a.k.a Shadow self. Are you a Jungian?

Read my post carefully, especially this part:

In life everything must be looked at in terms of severity,

Not once did I say Narcissist don't exist, I think you must have quoted the wrong person.

biddostandard:
wetin your ex do you

Lol... you wish