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Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One - Romance (8) - Nairaland

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Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by shepherd316: 4:50pm On Aug 06, 2021
Bryan88:
CALL ME AND TELL ME WHAT THE POST IS ALL ABOUT PLS.
You have no interest on this forum if reading a well educated post as this is your luxury
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bukhety(f): 4:52pm On Aug 06, 2021
abbey621:


But who is truly a narc? Human behavior is complex and what most of us see is only at the superficial level, even the greatest of psychologists cannot pin point the exact cause of narcissism. Can you differentiate between a psychopath and a narc? How about someone that is bipolar and someone that is narcissistic?
A psychopath can kill, a narcissist will likely not kill but enjoys tormenting u emotionally. He is envious and wishes worse for his perceived enemy. A bipolar could be good at sometimes bad at other times. But u see narc, they are ever calculative. Looking for opportunities to strike. Worse if them is the covert narc

2 Likes

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by shepherd316: 5:02pm On Aug 06, 2021
I blame narcissism on two things : "demential" and lack of good "parenting" , human true behaviours can't be modified immediately. Another issue that leads to narcissism is drug abuse, mad people see themselves as the best mentally fit persons. Heaven knows I will only see the reward of the wicked but I will not allow terrible people to come across my path - I've had enough of this narcissistic zombies and idiots.

2 Likes

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by abbey621(m): 5:09pm On Aug 06, 2021
bukhety:

A psychopath can kill, a narcissist will likely not kill but enjoys tormenting u emotionally. He is envious and wishes worse for his perceived enemy. A bipolar could be good at sometimes bad at other times. But u see narc, they are ever calculative. Looking for opportunities to strike. Worse if them is the covert narc

LMAO....What if I told you they all have the ability to do all the things you mentioned grin grin grin.

I'm sure you've heard of Adolf Hitler, as a child he was very bipolar, he even tried to commit suicide. As he grew up he became more in love with himself and having people adore him(Narcissism), and we all know about the Holocaust and World War(Psychopath) in his adult role. The point is simple, shine your eyes, human beings are capable of anything givien the right set of catalyst. Majority of Nigerians when analyzed by professional psychologists would qualify as having one mental issue or the other, you'll be shocked how easily most of us are on the spectrum/border between sanity and mental degradation.

2 Likes

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by AmazonTopaz(f): 6:24pm On Aug 06, 2021
BRATISLAVA:


Innately they aren't unless they were always one. Have a look at children.

Until societal expectations confines they created for themselves get the better of them, men would be themselves as they were born, not made to be. Left to nature, we would get the same spectrum of men and women.

Unfortunately, religion causes a form of nurture narcissism in males. Followed by cults like the red pill which advocates making men narcs so that they can subjugate women in order to remain "superior". These nurtured people are irrational about it.

Meanwhile society is always nurturing women to be subservient/submissive, to be the supply for the narcs (men). When they don't fit, we hear things like wicked women, egotistic women, masculine women, etc. There's nothing like that.

Nurture it is.


Loud it dear

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bukatyne(f): 6:55pm On Aug 06, 2021
BRATISLAVA:


Innately they aren't unless they were always one. Have a look at children.

Until societal expectations confines they created for themselves get the better of them, men would be themselves as they were born, not made to be. Left to nature, we would get the same spectrum of men and women.

Unfortunately, religion causes a form of nurture narcissism in males. Followed by cults like the red pill which advocates making men narcs so that they can subjugate women in order to remain "superior". These nurtured people are irrational about it.

Meanwhile society is always nurturing women to be subservient/submissive, to be the supply for the narcs (men). When they don't fit, we hear things like wicked women, egotistic women, masculine women, etc. There's nothing like that.

Nurture it is.


@bold:

Which religion?

You think only men exhibit the behaviors in the OP?

Who nurture these men?
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by BRATISLAVA: 8:34pm On Aug 06, 2021
bukatyne:


@bold:

Which religion?

You think only men exhibit the behaviors in the OP?

Who nurture these men?

You already know which religion(s).

Not only men exhibit them, but it is men who frequently do and hide narcissism under being men and taking the wheel of other people's lives. They call it leadership. When exhibited by women they paint it as tyranny, lack of submissiveness (the horror) and pure, concentrated Jezebelic evil.

Other men nurture them. That is why they refer to non-narcissistic men as "mummy's boys", simps, etc.

Are you done with the questions? Or will the one-sided exchange continue?

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Moji12(f): 9:18pm On Aug 06, 2021
bukhety:

Ignore, ignore, ignore. Don't give them the attention they seek. Don't allow them to give u s!hit cos of you want peace. Though, they enjoy trouble, don't buy into their facade. Maintain your stance. Be ready to play a lot of mind game, they are very good at it. Be observant and never let your guard down. If they tell you good morning, check the time,they might be lying, they are very good liars and manipulators. Always playing victim.
Last but not the least, stay far away, if possible. You will save your mental health!


You are very apt. Thumbs up.
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Dliquidmetal(m): 9:36pm On Aug 06, 2021
HRSweetness:


Admirable. What do you do, if you don't mind my asking.
I trade forex,its a different game when you immense your self in it,you would have a different perception because I'm aware alot of people have little understanding of it. If you really wanna master the market you would have to change whole self and your emotions are to be tamed. It's very deep but I think you get it
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by samuel19222(m): 9:58pm On Aug 06, 2021
shepherd316:


Typical Nigerian, enough time for irrelevant things but little interest in reading.
Plz, don't see this as an insult, but grasp all tge wisdom in it


hey man, I don't do dating and I don't see any reason reading that write up
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Moji12(f): 11:02pm On Aug 06, 2021
pansophist:


INFJ is one of the 16 different personalities type. You may read about them here

https://www.16personalities.com/infj-personality

Yes. I've dealt dealt two narcissist in the past, an envious friend and one crush like that. Their strategy are the same. They have this obsessive need to control you, with a messed up emotional state. They can just get angry instantly with such intensity you'll begin to wonder if you killed their mum. I've trained myself to know them from afar. One can't navigate this world competently if one is not knowledgeable about this demons. When I see them for what they are, henceforth, it's proper ghosting.

The two antidote to destroy a narcissistic idiot is indifference and success. It kills them literarily inside. If na woman, get a hotter one. If na man, just keep doing better. I can guarantee that their life will always be a mess, because they externalises everything, won't work hard and always manipulate the world to fit their delusion. A bad recipe for disaster.
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Moji12(f): 11:08pm On Aug 06, 2021
pansophist:


Success and indifference. Simple, yet a potent weapon that destroy their whole existence. Don't revenge, its for the weak. Dont insult, its childish. Don't.engage, they are not rational. Just ignore them in such a way that makes them questions their existence. Don't be emotional, don't be reactive, infact in simple terms, dealing with them simply means not relating in any form with them.

They can't stand this. I'll tell you something. The opposite of love is not hate, is indifference. That your heart don't even have the strength or energy to hate, punishment and more. They are so useless that you can't afford to even hate them. Their whole existence in itself is suffering. Humans will rather be hated than treated with indifference. The proverb "success is the best revenge is meant for narcs".

That's how you dealt with those emotional demons. You, the healthy one is their worst nightmare. They are sick and can't be cured, so why bother? They only need a reaction from you to cause mayhem. Doesn't matter if you're right, engagement is all they need. Starve them that, and dear friend, that's how you deal deal these narcissistic motherforkers.

1 Like

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bepositive11: 12:05am On Aug 07, 2021
abbey621:




With all due respect, this is bullshit! You can apply your theory to anyone if that's how you want to play it. Having a few traits of a wife beater, does not make you a wife beater, having a few traits of a psychopath does not make you one and having a few traits of genius does not make you one.



You proved my point again, his narcissistic traits were dormant for a long time and only became activated through a series of life events. You just said people who exhibit narcissistic traits are not narcissists, sounds like you're contradicting yourself. The guy definitely had a lot of empathy while we were in school, from organizing feeding of the poor to orphanage cleanup and donations. Guy was voted most liked student for 3 years in a row and fought for women's rights as an activist. So according to your definition, he couldn't poissibly be a narcissists right? grin grin grin

Please read my comment again. Your interpretation is false. You're not getting my points

"Narcissism" is a personality disorder theoretically defined in the study of psychology. "Wife beater" is not. "Psychopathy" is also a personality disorder. Those terminologies cannot be used loosely. The person needs to be diagnosed by a licensed practitioner.

Narcissists and Psychopaths have no empathy. Anyone who has narcissistic traits but has empathy is not a narcissist because they can change. Narcissists and psychopaths can never change because they have no empathy, which makes it a personality disorder.

Again, regarding your story, learn more about his history. Some families look happy, but behind close doors, they are highly dysfunctional. The narcissist I encountered was the same. He had a lot of empathy growing up but there were subtle signs of narcissism. It seems that his life experiences later on strengthened his narcissistic traits and he lost all empathy.

Narcissists get worse with time. They start developing those narcissistic traits in childhood to varying degrees, then as they transition into adulthood, they either become narcissists or learn to change their ways. If they do become narcissists, they will never because by then, they will have lost all empathy
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by abbey621(m): 2:08am On Aug 07, 2021
bepositive11:


Please read my comment again. Your interpretation is false. You're not getting my points

"Narcissism" is a personality disorder theoretically defined in the study of psychology. "Wife beater" is not. "Psychopathy" is also a personality disorder. Those terminologies cannot be used loosely. The person needs to be diagnosed by a licensed practitioner.

Narcissists and Psychopaths have no empathy. Anyone who has narcissistic traits but has empathy is not a narcissist because they can change. Narcissists and psychopaths can never change because they have no empathy, which makes it a personality disorder.

Again, regarding your story, learn more about his history. Some families look happy, but behind close doors, they are highly dysfunctional. The narcissist I encountered was the same. He had a lot of empathy growing up but there were subtle signs of narcissism. It seems that his life experiences later on strengthened his narcissistic traits and he lost all empathy.

Narcissists get worse with time. They start developing those narcissistic traits in childhood to varying degrees, then as they transition into adulthood, they either become narcissists or learn to change their ways.[s] If they do become narcissists, they will never because by then, they will have lost all empathy[/s]

Narcissists and Psychopaths have no empathy. Anyone who has narcissistic traits but has empathy is not a narcissist because they can change. Narcissists and psychopaths can never change because they have no empathy, which makes it a personality disorder.

You're still confusing yourself! Personality/mental disorder are known through the way a person behaves, yes they are diagnosed professionally but the traits manifests through actions, a wife beater often blames his wife for any and all things, the mental disorder is there even if many of us Africans discard it as just anger. I already told you don't focus on words/theories alone but real life application. You said someone can exhibit narcissistic traits and not be a narcissists just because they showed some empathy and I call that pure hogwash!

Many people walk around everyday and switch between one personality/mental disorder but are never diagnosed, do not use diagnosis as your main measurement, it is a farce argument. It seems you're confusing low empathy with no empathy, narcissism occurs on a spectrum, people range from low empathy to no empathy, this has been proven by various researchers so I will not bore you with details. I suggest you study the life of Adolf Hitler, especially his childhood. From bi-polar to narcissism to full blown psychopath, till this date many top psychologists and researchers can't explain what cause narcissism and many agree that they can change or control their narcissism with time and therapy but you want to tell me you know more than those top researchers? Bruh grin grin

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bepositive11: 4:19am On Aug 07, 2021
abbey621:




You're still confusing yourself! Personality/mental disorder are known through the way a person behaves, yes they are diagnosed professionally but the traits manifests through actions, a wife beater often blames his wife for any and all things, the mental disorder is there even if many of us Africans discard it as just anger. I already told you don't focus on words/theories alone but real life application. You said someone can exhibit narcissistic traits and not be a narcissists just because they showed some empathy and I call that pure hogwash!

Many people walk around everyday and switch between one personality/mental disorder but are never diagnosed, do not use diagnosis as your main measurement, it is a farce argument. It seems you're confusing low empathy with no empathy, narcissism occurs on a spectrum, people range from low empathy to no empathy, this has been proven by various researchers so I will not bore you with details. I suggest you study the life of Adolf Hitler, especially his childhood. From bi-polar to narcissism to full blown psychopath, till this date many top psychologists and researchers can't explain what cause narcissism and many agree that they can change or control their narcissism with time and therapy but you want to tell me you know more than those top researchers? Bruh grin grin

I'm tired of you. You're not getting my points. And btw, I got my info from top researchers.

1. People with narcissistic traits who have empathy will change their ways because they can see how it affects their loved ones and it makes them sad. They will eventually seek help from therapists. These people are not narcissists because they can change -- they don't have a personality disorder

2. People with narcissistic traits who have no empathy will never change their ways because they cannot see how it affects their loved ones so it doesn't disturb them. They will never seek help from therapists. These people are narcissists because they will never change -- they have a personality disorder

3. If anyone should notice a potential partner with narcissistic traits:
3.1. If they have empathy, stay away till they change their ways
3.2. If they don't have empathy, stay away forever because they will never change their ways

4. "till this date many top psychologists and researchers can't explain what cause narcissism" -- I don't know where you got this information from. Please do some research. As I said earlier, it stems from dysfunction in the form of abuse, neglect, abandonment, etc. especially in childhood. Please do some research

1 Like

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Regex: 5:10am On Aug 07, 2021
bukhety:
Hi
I stumbled on it on quora after I have suffered much. Information can make the difference. Now na my narc dey wish to discard me.

Knowledge is power. Application of knowledge is supreme power.

1 Like

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Regex: 5:12am On Aug 07, 2021
slimkhalifa:

Honestly its like my first time hearing this

You have to watch out for it. Check your life in the past and know whether you have suffered from it without knowing and also check if you are the one that is narcissistic. Dasol.

1 Like

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Regex: 5:17am On Aug 07, 2021
bukhety:
Hi
I stumbled on it on quora after I have suffered much. Information can make the difference. Now na my narc dey wish to discard me.

I even forgot to update that during my secondary school days, I had a friend, same name same age, we were more like best friends, but he was too domineering and all. Trying to control me, but I never did. Had a fight with a class mate, also wanted me to hate the guy for no reason. I did not and that broke into a fight, well it was the end of it. Lost contact as soon as I left school.


Later reconnected, noticed he hasn't changed, immediately I deleted his number and moved on with life.


Like Pansophist would say, you can not go into silly banter with a self aware man. Both narcs wanted me to go into a banter (talking trash to each other on WhatsApp) but not me. Regex does not have that time.

3 Likes

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by abbey621(m): 5:44am On Aug 07, 2021
bepositive11:


I'm tired of you. You're not getting my points. And btw, I got my info from top researchers.

1. People with narcissistic traits who have empathy will change their ways because they can see how it affects their loved ones and it makes them sad. They will eventually seek help from therapists. These people are not narcissists because they can change -- they don't have a personality disorder

2. People with narcissistic traits who have no empathy will never change their ways because they cannot see how it affects their loved ones so it doesn't disturb them. They will never seek help from therapists. These people are narcissists because they will never change -- they have a personality disorder

3. If anyone should notice a potential partner with narcissistic traits:
3.1. If they have empathy, stay away till they change their ways
3.2. If they don't have empathy, stay away forever because they will never change their ways

4. "till this date many top psychologists and researchers can't explain what cause narcissism" -- I don't know where you got this information from. Please do some research. As I said earlier, it stems from dysfunction in the form of abuse, neglect, abandonment, etc. especially in childhood. Please do some research

My guy stop arguing and accept you do not know what you're talking about. Here are some fantastic article that explains it to you in simple form:

What causes Narcissism?
https://www.psycom.net/personality-disorders/narcissistic/
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662

Can Narcissists change?

https://marriagehelper.com/can-a-narcissist-change/

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/do-narcissists-cry#ability-to-change

Here's another one from a top researcher I admire very much:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/romance-redux/201309/can-narcissists-change

At this point if you still maintain that narcissistic people have zero empathy and they can never change then it is pointless and my time is better spent reading a good book....PEACE!
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bepositive11: 7:40am On Aug 07, 2021
abbey621:


My guy stop arguing and accept you do not know what you're talking about. Here are some fantastic article that explains it to you in simple form:

What causes Narcissism?
https://www.psycom.net/personality-disorders/narcissistic/
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662

Can Narcissists change?

https://marriagehelper.com/can-a-narcissist-change/

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/do-narcissists-cry#ability-to-change

Here's another one from a top researcher I admire very much:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/romance-redux/201309/can-narcissists-change

At this point if you still maintain that narcissistic people have zero empathy and they can never change then it is pointless and my time is better spent reading a good book....PEACE!

Enjoy reading your book.

1 Like

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by HRSweetness(f): 9:34am On Aug 07, 2021
Dliquidmetal:
I trade forex,its a different game when you immense your self in it,you would have a different perception because I'm aware alot of people have little understanding of it. If you really wanna master the market you would have to change whole self and your emotions are to be tamed. It's very deep but I think you get it

Hmm interesting. You must be a heavy risk taker LOL. Yeah I agree, when making high risk investment decisions, you can't afford to be driven by emotions.

How's it going for you so far?
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Dliquidmetal(m): 12:48pm On Aug 07, 2021
HRSweetness:


Hmm interesting. You must be a heavy risk taker LOL. Yeah I agree, when making high risk investment decisions, you can't afford to be driven by emotions.

How's it going for you so far?
I'm dont take very big risks,I know my risk appetite so I stick to that. And you are right you cant mix emotions and financial decisions together he no go gel,you gas dey rational.
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by DonroxyII: 4:57pm On Aug 07, 2021
33bandit:
You'll find them challenging to date when you're all out to please them ..
Every behaviour in a woman could be manage to an extend .,..women actually mirror their love ones behaviour once they love them truly..
More like u get what u give ..
If you're the emotional one sure she might adjust to be just that ..if she finds out that you're not the type that cares about her tantrums and petty mind games she wouldn't bother playing such games with you !
true that !.... Your woman is who you are except she is very strong headed !!
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Nobody: 7:46pm On Aug 07, 2021
DonroxyII:
true that !.... Your woman is who you are except she is very strong headed !!
Leave her black ass if she's strong headed
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by FORWARDEVERLY: 9:35pm On Aug 07, 2021
BRATISLAVA:


Innately they aren't unless they were always one. Have a look at children.

Until societal expectations confines they created for themselves get the better of them, men would be themselves as they were born, not made to be. Left to nature, we would get the same spectrum of men and women.

Unfortunately, religion causes a form of nurture narcissism in males. Followed by cults like the red pill which advocates making men narcs so that they can subjugate women in order to remain "superior". These nurtured people are irrational about it.

Meanwhile society is always nurturing women to be subservient/submissive, to be the supply for the narcs (men). When they don't fit, we hear things like wicked women, egotistic women, masculine women, etc. There's nothing like that.

Nurture it is.


Red pill is a cult and they are narcs ??


Lol..
FYI feminist and their movement is a cult and all of them are narcissistic and Toxic..

2 Likes

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by DonroxyII: 10:22pm On Aug 07, 2021
33bandit:

Leave her black ass if she's strong headed
I love them strong headed !!
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by fineberry(m): 10:35pm On Aug 07, 2021
Quite lengthy bou it worth the read.


Narcist are every ajeh #hundred

1 Like

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by BRATISLAVA: 10:56pm On Aug 07, 2021
FORWARDEVERLY:


Red pill is a cult and they are narcs ??


Lol..
FYI feminist and their movement is a cult and all of them are narcissistic and Toxic..



Education on their origins, methods and what they teach will enable you to distinguish what each is. One is a cult, the other an inclusive necessity.

You can guess which one is inclusive, and it's not the narcissist mgtow, redpill, etc, which is a male superiority cult very similar to the KKK.

But it's okay jesha.l/etc. You don't have to accept the truth.
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Nobody: 6:10am On Aug 08, 2021
shepherd316:
I blame narcissism on two things : "demential" and lack of good "parenting" , human true behaviours can't be modified immediately. Another issue that leads to narcissism is drug abuse, mad people see themselves as the best mentally fit persons. Heaven knows I will only see the reward of the wicked but I will not allow terrible people to come across my path - I've had enough of this narcissistic zombies and idiots.


Can you please share some of your experiences? Thank you. I'll like to learn
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Nobody: 11:15am On Aug 08, 2021
DonroxyII:
I love them strong headed !!

Loool ..im sure you don't value your peace of mind

3 Likes

Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by DonroxyII: 2:56pm On Aug 08, 2021
33bandit:


Loool ..im sure you don't value your peace of mind
Lol, my own strong head must at least be reasonable if not na to Japa o ... I can't come and go and die young !
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Nobody: 3:40pm On Aug 08, 2021
DonroxyII:
Lol, my own strong head must at least be reasonable if not na to Japa o ... I can't come and go and die young !
grin tongue

1 Like

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