Maxime10:
I’m really into a relationship with one now
And facing same issues stated right here

bigcee:

I have a family member who is a Covert Narcissist. He is afraid of me cause I know how to handle him. Especially when he goes into a rage(anger) like a lazy dolt ...Very empty and weak people.

Cousin9999:
People really abuse that term (narcissist). It's enough to call someone toxic. You don't need to attempt to diagnose them. And once you've identified negative behaviors and unwillingness to change, move on.

It's also important to date someone for a while. Unless someone is a sociopath, they can't really hide who they are for very long. It's a compulsion for toxic people. That said, people can change. But they have to want it, and actively work towards it. And it may involve medication.

Also, toxic people may be happy with other toxic people. Some people actually live well like this. They like each other's mild dysfunction. Some toxic people need to admit who they are and what they prefer, and stop trying to build relationships with those who aren't toxic.

It may not be politically correct, but people from certain backgrounds are more likely to be toxic. If you don't want any parts of dysfunction, you may want to be careful about choosing certain partners. Right or wrong, people born into chaos/dysfunction often find it harder to emerge from it as healthy people. Dysfunction can come from poverty, culture, instability, trauma, less education, or other problems. It's not that you can't have a good relationship with these people. It's that your chances are lower.

bepositive11:


How do you handle him?

chatinent:
I am very patient and calm with my partners even in critical times because if I act upon my anger, it will be history.


On one occasion, I knew my partner was cheating yet I played cool...amongst others...until they all realize they were fooling themselves.

I am one person who'll never confront a cheat. I'll rather wait until five minutes to the exchange of marital vows then call off the wedding.


I love peace of mind.

pansophist:


They can, and they make the worse narcisst. Deadlier than any kind of narcisst. And its because INFJ personality types are the god of manipulation, narcissistic people are amateurs and nothing but pencils in their hands.

Think of some of the most renowned folks that deal and wrote extensively about narcs, you'll see that they are INFJ (eg Carl Jung). InFJ are natures balancers to narcissism. If you want a narc to shit on his pants, match with a INFJ that is aware. Narc are only useful to people that don't know them. I deal with them. Well.

Weathered:
Most people who are attracted to narcissists have fundamental problems like the OP.

Simeonjoe1:


Seems I have some of these trait though I'm not in a relationship. Have to work on myself

InvertedHammer:
/
Be careful listening to western psychologists and their classifications of human behaviours. In their world, nobody is normal. Do you remember Drapetomania? It was once classified as a mental disorder for slaves to run away from their masters. Sometimes it pays to put down the textbooks and use one's God given brain.

/

Cousin9999:
People really abuse that term (narcissist). It's enough to call someone toxic. You don't need to attempt to diagnose them. And once you've identified negative behaviors and unwillingness to change, move on.

It's also important to date someone for a while. Unless someone is a sociopath, they can't really hide who they are for very long. It's a compulsion for toxic people. That said, people can change. But they have to want it, and actively work towards it. And it may involve medication.

Also, toxic people may be happy with other toxic people. Some people actually live well like this. They like each other's mild dysfunction. Some toxic people need to admit who they are and what they prefer, and stop trying to build relationships with those who aren't toxic.

It may not be politically correct, but people from certain backgrounds are more likely to be toxic. If you don't want any parts of dysfunction, you may want to be careful about choosing certain partners. Right or wrong, people born into chaos/dysfunction often find it harder to emerge from it as healthy people. Dysfunction can come from poverty, culture, instability, trauma, less education, or other problems. It's not that you can't have a good relationship with these people. It's that your chances are lower.

Youngpo413:
Run! except he is very rich...then u can stay.

Benard5050:


I can't believe I'm a typical example of this

I want to change pls

abbey621:
Here's a shocker, majority of humans in this world are narcissists. It is one of the core traits of being human, let no one tell you otherwise! In life everything must be looked at in terms of severity, we all have that dark side but majority of us are fortunate to have anchors that limits that darkness. Behavioral analysis of the human psyche is a controversial yet often misguided journey, what you call narcissistic, another will call assertive or leadership. For example in the business world, the best and most successful business moguls are by definition narcissist, they are obssessed with their craft and often will break your heart if you don't have a thick skin. In relationships, if you are dating a man or married to a man that basically does everything for you then naturally you've given him the power of a narcissist, same goes for guys who can't cook, sleep or think properly without their girlfriend/wife.

It's part of life and it is completely unavoidable, the real question here is this, how does one narcisst maintain a relationship with another narcisst? Think about it, unless you don't have an emotional connection with your partner, how do you resist the urge to have a say in how they dress, eat, mingle etc? Your woman did hair, makeup and you didn't even notice due to hectic work schedule, do you call her a narcissist for having emotional tantrum or getting upset? You are broke and could not fulfill a promise to your wife so you bone face and start a fight just to avoid that promise, are you a narcissist? It's one thing to throw around fancy words and use theories, it's another to actually view things in practical/real life.

YorubaNinja:
Trump is one!

bukhety:

Ignore, ignore, ignore. Don't give them the attention they seek. Don't allow them to give u s!hit cos of you want peace. Though, they enjoy trouble, don't buy into their facade. Maintain your stance. Be ready to play a lot of mind game, they are very good at it. Be observant and never let your guard down. If they tell you good morning, check the time,they might be lying, they are very good liars and manipulators. Always playing victim.
Last but not the least, stay far away, if possible. You will save your mental health!

NoFucksToGive:

This topic has been so over done on YouTube and on dating websites.

There are over a.million articles and videos online telling you how to know if you are dating a narcissistic person.

Yet this was brought to front page ?

Is it there is no content available or what ?

bepositive11:


Do you have the traits described in OP's post?

pansophist:
I can relate. It takes me just a week to know that this sweet girl that is in front of me was a narcissist, even worse, she suffers from Princess syndrome join. But I first doubted it, I knew something was off. So I was observing, entering a month, then it becomes clear. My next strategy was to exit, but again, you want to exit in such a way that they can not revenge because they are very vengeful and to hurt them deeply, treat them with indifference.

You only need to experience one narc, to know them. They are perfect chameleons, and always target good guys, but very stupid. Their behaviours can only go far with people that are insecure. If you're self assured, autonomous and not insecure, they will have nothing over you. This emotional vampires can easily be spotted by INFJ personality types.

abbey621:


Yes we all do to a degree! While the traits that the OP used were in extreme forms, try and picture some of those traits in simpler everyday use. A frustated husband, a depressed wife, a boss on your neck to meet project deadline etc.

SmartyPants:
My ex is a medical doctor and she insists I'm a proper narcissist

Ladylawyer:
I didn't know about the word naracissim until recently. And i also learnt one thing, they mostly attach themselves to people with low self esteem. If you value yourself they wouldn't have so much power over you and so they will take off with the speed of light because the supply which they seek from you, they will not get.
They feel better when they oppress you and make you cry. The tears of their significant other gives the narcissist so much joy.

bepositive11:


There's a big difference between people who have some fleas (narcissistic traits) and people who are truly narcissists. People with fleas can grow and change but true narcissists never change. They remain the same. They would do everything to justify their behaviours and blame everyone else but themselves

Narcissists ruin people's lives and mental wellbeing. Not everyone is a narcissist

Dliquidmetal:
I think I have some of this traits but not all

bepositive11:
Narcissists and sociopaths are different and they both never change.

I think it's important to be able to identify the differences between narcissists and people with a few toxic traits.

People with a weaker sense of self are codependent so it's not easy for them to identify negative behaviours and move on.

abbey621:
Here's a shocker, majority of humans in this world are narcissists. It is one of the core traits of being human, let no one tell you otherwise! In life everything must be looked at in terms of severity, we all have that dark side but majority of us are fortunate to have anchors that limits that darkness. Behavioral analysis of the human psyche is a controversial yet often misguided journey, what you call narcissistic, another will call assertive or leadership. For example in the business world, the best and most successful business moguls are by definition narcissist, they are obssessed with their craft and often will break your heart if you don't have a thick skin. In relationships, if you are dating a man or married to a man that basically does everything for you then naturally you've given him the power of a narcissist, same goes for guys who can't cook, sleep or think properly without their girlfriend/wife.

It's part of life and it is completely unavoidable, the real question here is this, how does one narcisst maintain a relationship with another narcisst? Think about it, unless you don't have an emotional connection with your partner, how do you resist the urge to have a say in how they dress, eat, mingle etc? Your woman did hair, makeup and you didn't even notice due to hectic work schedule, do you call her a narcissist for having emotional tantrum or getting upset?You are broke and could not fulfill a promise to your wife so you bone face and start a fight just to avoid that promise, are you a narcissist? It's one thing to throw around fancy words and use theories, it's another to actually view things in practical/real life.

that's a narcissist

Chawoan:



I will just break up with him. This what even pissed me, yesterday he asked me to meet him at a bar, I don't like going to bars and he knows it. I went there he was with a relative he wanted to introduce me. He asked me to order and I told him I wasn't eating this was because I was fasting and I let him know that's the reason.

I told him I will prefer fruits first but they were not selling there. He said he will go get fruit salad but I told him to leave it since I will soon be leaving, it was already past 6. That's where I bought wahala oh, that that's how I will be doing that why will I say I won't eat. His relative was listening to us now, I wanted the whole thing to end there so we won't display outside. He no gree oh. That he knows going to a bar too is sin for me that even Jesus broke his fast with water and me I will just be forming what he doesn't know.

I didn't even know what to say, his relative was watching us. I told him am not him, the fact that he breaks with water doesn't mean I will too. The statement broke the carmel's back oh, he said in short I should just go. That why will I make such a statement to him, that it means I don't want to learn. Kai him matter just tire me, once he has an opinion about something, he feels everyone else must have the same. This someone that was asking me to introduce him to my parents and was talking marriage when the relationship was not even up to a month. I told him to calm down that we needed to study ourselves more. Thank God I didn't oh.

will you break up while you can or are you waiting to break up after he's completely broken you down? Because let me tell you HE WILL BREAK YOU DOWN.

bukhety:

A narc enjoys trouble, seeks it. It's more than just been jealous. There is a pattern of attention seeking in a narc, if they don't get it, they throw tantrums. Getting angry over minor thing. This is a clear personality disorder, its different from the normal issues people face. I pray you don't meet one. They can drain one mentally and emotionally. It's tiring abeg.

you described my father. And my mom is an educated empath. Before when he throws tantrums at not getting his way, she'd be very worried and move heaven and earth to make him happy. Nowadays, she doesn't even send him. He throw tantrums, he tire.

BRATISLAVA:


Isn't that the character of a narc? To think they can change another person to suit themselves?

Most men are narcissists, and they call it being born to lead.

bepositive11:


Is that really peace of mind? How does holding grudges against people give you peace of mind?

When people wrong you, isn't it better to work together to resolve the issues or to end the relationship?

There was this story I read. A woman married with 3 kids thought everything was ok. All of a sudden, one day, the husband packed his bags and said he was done. He had been holding in all that was wrong, building resentment until he couldn't take it any longer. Sounds like something you would do

No one's perfect and people make mistakes. In relationships, what matters most is being open and honest and growing to be better partners for each other. Of course, things like cheating is unacceptable. But for other issues, if you just hold them in, you'll never resolve the issue and resentment will keep building. Your partner wouldn't know what's wrong either

NovusHomo:


Congratulations .

ozonechrome:


She may not be far from the truth by your name.

They have a grandiose sense of self wrapped in insecurity.

Always think they are better than everyone else and doing people favours by being with them or in their team.