₦airaland Forum

U ignore them.

There is a difference between them saying based on 1, 2, 3 this girl is not good enough.

If u analyze and think u are fine with whatever they cooked up, tell them to get at

There comes a time in a man's life when he has to stand up, man up and make decisions for himself, especially in areas like career and marriage. You're a grown ass adult. Act it.

Last born mata ehn. It is well

Know what you want in a woman, the kind of family you want to have, then when you're ready, your family may not have any other choice than to accept what you want. And to avoid argument after all, you may stay far from them so that they won't start dictating how you run your family. Just imagine your family being controlled by your in-laws, e no go well na. Same way it's not good that your own family should be telling you what you want in your own home.... they're free to suggest oooo...but make the suggestion get limit...except say you no dey reason well...

I don't know your family. They have issues and it is not their selectiveness. If a 27 years old woman is too old for your 32 old self, that is not selectiveness but something else.

I feel for you and your future wife already.

Irijosa777:
I'm the last born in the family, all the members of the family had gotten married except me.
I'm 32 now, just rounded up my study. I'm into farming, school works and doing catering work as well. I'm financially balance. I have not gone into a relationship before, I just ignore that aspect because I believe in the principle of "one thing at a time".

Now that I'm through with my study and I have something doing, I'm planning of going into a relationship and get married at least by 2023 but I'm perceiving there's going to be a problem between me and my family.

My family is very selective, very selective... There was a time a friend started visiting me anytime I went to the village, my mother notice it and told me that the girl is not welcome in the family, she gave me her reason too, I told my Mom she is just a friend and nothing more.

Today my neice got married, I invited my crush and she came to the wedding and I introduced her to my family as my friend, when the ceremony was going on, my sister told me and I quote "this girl you brought is not acceptable, she is too old for you, "common" she is just 27 and am 32... I told my sister that we are just friends and nothing more, then she said better...

I don't want to have any issue with my family in marring a girl but I'm afriad problem might be inevitable because I won't want my family to choose who or who not to marry, I have never had issue with my family before, they love me very much and we are living happily.

One mind is telling me to follow my heart another mind is telling me don't let a woman bring issue between you and your family...
Gosh! family get wahala! What is wrong in marring a girl of 27 years and I'm 32. (5years different)

I'm not ready for any family wahala...
Please how do you handle this kind of issue.

[color=indigo]seems you're the soft spoken kind, the type who readily agrees to what his family members say. Except you're planning to remain single for life, or planning to agree to an arranged marriage, you better start putting your foot down. By the way, what are you doing with a crush @32? Either you are dating or no. Don't waste any body's time Abeg. [/color]

Old school living this is 2021 not 1960 if i marry my family nor like her but i love her abeg make everybody dey their lane

I don't see how you can win this battle cos it's obvious you're a mummy's boy!

My parents and elders have over emphasized i shouldn't marry and akwaibom girl.
They were tol late sha cos 3 of the girls I've had things with were akwaibom, and breaking thay relationship with them is like starting afresh.
I know their obvious reasons but never bothered to ask why.

That your sister wey say your crush too old for you, which of your choice she marry?

Forget your family, marry who you want. Your wife and kids become your family after marriage, who no want make he go look bush.

You marry a person, you marry their immediate families.

Set rule in my family is if you like, marry the first daughter is Saddam Hussen but don’t come back to complain to anybody as every member of our family would just side the girl

He acknowledged that they are selective. Which is still putting their attitude mildly.

mrblessed:
There is nothing wrong with your family making recommendation to you, while you make the final decision to marry or not. In fact, they can sample as many ladies as possible for you to pick your choice. Alternatively, you can also bring a lady and try to convince them on why she is the best for you. Even if they disagree at first, they can still accept her if they see you are serious in choosing her as your wife. Never destroy the bond that binds to your family.

However, what struck me the most in your post is that I didn't read where you said/wrote you love your lady-guest that wasn't accepted by your sister. You clearly designated her as "your crush," meaning nothing significant has been established between the two of you. So why the hoopla?

Don't let anyone confuse that family is not important when choosing a spouse. A lot of people come from a background that lacks family love and protection and therefore, can't understand the interest of your family members in your choice of woman.

Lollittaa:
[color=indigo]seems you're the soft spoken kind, the type who readily agrees to what his family members say. Except you're planning to remain single for life, or planning to agree to an arranged marriage, you better start putting your foot down. By the way, what are you doing with a crush @32? Either you are dating or no. Don't waste any body's time Abeg. [/color]

That's what I'm working on at the moment

Honestly it depends on your family background and what the marriage means for your family..... marriage for some families is much more than love. I personally would marry whomever I want to but would certainly influence who ever my kids are marrying.

Karlifate:
Irijosa777, what your family members, especially the female ones, are demonstrating is selfish protection.

They believe that when you get married, they won't be your priority again. Also, the goody-goody they're getting from you might become limited OR even stop, since you now have your own responsibility to shoulder.

Lastly, they might still see you as their big baby cos you said you're the last born & think you still need 'protection'.

Anyways, the choice is yours to make at the end of the day.

Cheers!

You have said it all.

Irijosa777:
I'm the last born in the family, all the members of the family had gotten married except me.
I'm 32 now, just rounded up my study. I'm into farming, school works and doing catering work as well. I'm financially balance. I have not gone into a relationship before, I just ignore that aspect because I believe in the principle of "one thing at a time".

Now that I'm through with my study and I have something doing, I'm planning of going into a relationship and get married at least by 2023 but I'm perceiving there's going to be a problem between me and my family.

My family is very selective, very selective... There was a time a friend started visiting me anytime I went to the village, my mother notice it and told me that the girl is not welcome in the family, she gave me her reason too, I told my Mom she is just a friend and nothing more.

Today my neice got married, I invited my crush and she came to the wedding and I introduced her to my family as my friend, when the ceremony was going on, my sister told me and I quote "this girl you brought is not acceptable, she is too old for you, "common" she is just 27 and am 32... I told my sister that we are just friends and nothing more, then she said better...

I don't want to have any issue with my family in marring a girl but I'm afriad problem might be inevitable because I won't want my family to choose who or who not to marry, I have never had issue with my family before, they love me very much and we are living happily.

One mind is telling me to follow my heart another mind is telling me don't let a woman bring issue between you and your family...
Gosh! family get wahala! What is wrong in marring a girl of 27 years and I'm 32. (5years different)

I'm not ready for any family wahala...
Please how do you handle this kind of issue.

Me my dad I'm about to break the babe heart just for him to be happy

Are you marrying for your family or yourself? Bro your marriage is for you not for your family. Make sure you look for someone that meets what you are looking for in a lady. Marry someone that will respect you and your family

Don't let anyone dictate what you want ma niggi... What you want is what you want...@ 32, you shouldn't be listening to everyone's opinion

Irijosa777:
I'm the last born in the family, all the members of the family had gotten married except me.
I'm 32 now, just rounded up my study. I'm into farming, school works and doing catering work as well. I'm financially balance. I have not gone into a relationship before, I just ignore that aspect because I believe in the principle of "one thing at a time".

Now that I'm through with my study and I have something doing, I'm planning of going into a relationship and get married at least by 2023 but I'm perceiving there's going to be a problem between me and my family.

My family is very selective, very selective... There was a time a friend started visiting me anytime I went to the village, my mother notice it and told me that the girl is not welcome in the family, she gave me her reason too, I told my Mom she is just a friend and nothing more.

Today my neice got married, I invited my crush and she came to the wedding and I introduced her to my family as my friend, when the ceremony was going on, my sister told me and I quote "this girl you brought is not acceptable, she is too old for you, "common" she is just 27 and am 32... I told my sister that we are just friends and nothing more, then she said better...

I don't want to have any issue with my family in marring a girl but I'm afriad problem might be inevitable because I won't want my family to choose who or who not to marry, I have never had issue with my family before, they love me very much and we are living happily.

One mind is telling me to follow my heart another mind is telling me don't let a woman bring issue between you and your family...
Gosh! family get wahala! What is wrong in marring a girl of 27 years and I'm 32. (5years different)

I'm not ready for any family wahala...
Please how do you handle this kind of issue.

if you can’t be a man and have a mind of your own, then marry your sister .
That’s how you will allow others to use their reggae and spoil your blues.

Na 'shine ya eyez' season we dey. Don't just take anything home because you're a shy shy person. Look for what's good for you & your family.

Marriage is really scary nowadays. They want to take you away from your family, and your children away from you. Be wise!

Turn the Table Around.
Ask them to recommend you then reject all of them citing some inevitable faults. them go kukuma taya ask you to chose the person wey you want

BareFacedLies:
I don't see how you can win this battle cos it's obvious you're a mummy's boy!

Hahahaha.

ghostcenturion:
My parents and elders have over emphasized i shouldn't marry and akwaibom girl.
They were tol late sha cos 3 of the girls I've had things with were akwaibom, and breaking thay relationship with them is like starting afresh.
I know their obvious reasons but never bothered to ask why.

Wahala

Irijosa777:
I'm the last born in the family, all the members of the family had gotten married except me.
I'm 32 now, just rounded up my study. I'm into farming, school works and doing catering work as well. I'm financially balance. I have not gone into a relationship before, I just ignore that aspect because I believe in the principle of "one thing at a time".

Now that I'm through with my study and I have something doing, I'm planning of going into a relationship and get married at least by 2023 but I'm perceiving there's going to be a problem between me and my family.

My family is very selective, very selective... There was a time a friend started visiting me anytime I went to the village, my mother notice it and told me that the girl is not welcome in the family, she gave me her reason too, I told my Mom she is just a friend and nothing more.

Today my neice got married, I invited my crush and she came to the wedding and I introduced her to my family as my friend, when the ceremony was going on, my sister told me and I quote "this girl you brought is not acceptable, she is too old for you, "common" she is just 27 and am 32... I told my sister that we are just friends and nothing more, then she said better...

I don't want to have any issue with my family in marring a girl but I'm afriad problem might be inevitable because I won't want my family to choose who or who not to marry, I have never had issue with my family before, they love me very much and we are living happily.

One mind is telling me to follow my heart another mind is telling me don't let a woman bring issue between you and your family...
Gosh! family get wahala! What is wrong in marring a girl of 27 years and I'm 32. (5years different)

I'm not ready for any family wahala...
Please how do you handle this kind of issue.

First and foremost, you're not the first or the last that will go through such. I think your family is acting this way cause of the following reasons, either cause you're the last born, they influence your decision making, or because they don't see you as one that is matured enough, disregarding your age... But the bottom line, is you just have to follow your heart, do what makes you happy, your happiness should come first. Even if you marry someone that they welcome 100%, problem will still arise. So my brother, don't put your family first at the detriment of your happiness, and losing the right one. Stand your ground, and be a man in making the right decisions for yourself. Lastly, I commend your hardwork and achievements.

All the best.

If you can't separate your marriage from your extended family(both you and her own) be ready for heartbreak.

Irijosa777:
I'm the last born in the family, all the members of the family had gotten married except me.
I'm 32 now, just rounded up my study. I'm into farming, school works and doing catering work as well. I'm financially balance. I have not gone into a relationship before, I just ignore that aspect because I believe in the principle of "one thing at a time".

Now that I'm through with my study and I have something doing, I'm planning of going into a relationship and get married at least by 2023 but I'm perceiving there's going to be a problem between me and my family.

My family is very selective, very selective... There was a time a friend started visiting me anytime I went to the village, my mother notice it and told me that the girl is not welcome in the family, she gave me her reason too, I told my Mom she is just a friend and nothing more.

Today my neice got married, I invited my crush and she came to the wedding and I introduced her to my family as my friend, when the ceremony was going on, my sister told me and I quote "this girl you brought is not acceptable, she is too old for you, "common" she is just 27 and am 32... I told my sister that we are just friends and nothing more, then she said better...

I don't want to have any issue with my family in marring a girl but I'm afriad problem might be inevitable because I won't want my family to choose who or who not to marry, I have never had issue with my family before, they love me very much and we are living happily.

One mind is telling me to follow my heart another mind is telling me don't let a woman bring issue between you and your family...
Gosh! family get wahala! What is wrong in marring a girl of 27 years and I'm 32. (5years different)

I'm not ready for any family wahala...
Please how do you handle this kind of issue.

You need cane my brother.

At your age, you should be stronger in your own mind.

If any member of your family has a problem with a potential wife, they should have good reasons.

To convince you, they should feel like they are preparing for thesis defence.

Remembering that you won't marry your sister or mother or aunt.

gentleibraheem:
Turn the Table Around.
Ask them to recommend you then reject all of them citing some inevitable faults. them go kukuma taya ask you to chose the person wey you want

Hahahaha
Make sense.

adadike:
Just marry someone you truly love coz your marriage is all about you and your future but I will advice that you marry a really good and wise woman. If you marry a good and wise woman that will apply wisdom in all things, she will be able to win over the love of your family members in no time. Trust me

Nice of you!

Irijosa777:
I'm the last born in the family, all the members of the family had gotten married except me.
I'm 32 now, just rounded up my study. I'm into farming, school works and doing catering work as well. I'm financially balance. I have not gone into a relationship before, I just ignore that aspect because I believe in the principle of "one thing at a time".

Now that I'm through with my study and I have something doing, I'm planning of going into a relationship and get married at least by 2023 but I'm perceiving there's going to be a problem between me and my family.

My family is very selective, very selective... There was a time a friend started visiting me anytime I went to the village, my mother notice it and told me that the girl is not welcome in the family, she gave me her reason too, I told my Mom she is just a friend and nothing more.

Today my neice got married, I invited my crush and she came to the wedding and I introduced her to my family as my friend, when the ceremony was going on, my sister told me and I quote "this girl you brought is not acceptable, she is too old for you, "common" she is just 27 and am 32... I told my sister that we are just friends and nothing more, then she said better...

I don't want to have any issue with my family in marring a girl but I'm afriad problem might be inevitable because I won't want my family to choose who or who not to marry, I have never had issue with my family before, they love me very much and we are living happily.

One mind is telling me to follow my heart another mind is telling me don't let a woman bring issue between you and your family...
Gosh! family get wahala! What is wrong in marring a girl of 27 years and I'm 32. (5years different)

I'm not ready for any family wahala...
Please how do you handle this kind of issue.

Stick to your word and decision if you are convinced she is the lady for you. You then get to choose for.your sisters and no one should dare choose for you.