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How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by Irijosa777(m): 2:56pm On Aug 07, 2021
chrizzyace:


First and foremost, you're not the first or the last that will go through such. I think your family is acting this way cause of the following reasons, either cause you're the last born, they influence your decision making, or because they don't see you as one that is matured enough, disregarding your age... But the bottom line, is you just have to follow your heart, do what makes you happy, your happiness should come first. Even if you marry someone that they welcome 100%, problem will still arise. So my brother, don't put your family first at the detriment of your happiness, and losing the right one. Stand your ground, and be a man in making the right decisions for yourself. Lastly, I commend your hardwork and achievements.

All the best. wink

Thanks a lot.
I appreciate your advise.
God bless you.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by BuddhaPalm(m): 3:01pm On Aug 07, 2021
Hope you were part of the committees that chose their spouses.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by ramatintin(m): 3:01pm On Aug 07, 2021
Op do whatever your mind tells you. Family wahala no de finish if you like listen to them in the long run na them go still laugh you. So wise and make your own decisions now.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by LordIsaac(m): 3:01pm On Aug 07, 2021
Cholls:
My brother don't worry what you hate is what you'll finally become
Omg... grin ;DSounds philosophical to me. Could you explain what you mean please? I've heard the line before.
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by whytepawn1(m): 3:02pm On Aug 07, 2021
Irijosa777:
I'm the last born in the family, all the members of the family had gotten married except me.
I'm 32 now, just rounded up my study. I'm into farming, school works and doing catering work as well. I'm financially balance. I have not gone into a relationship before, I just ignore that aspect because I believe in the principle of "one thing at a time".

Now that I'm through with my study and I have something doing, I'm planning of going into a relationship and get married at least by 2023 but I'm perceiving there's going to be a problem between me and my family.

My family is very selective, very selective... There was a time a friend started visiting me anytime I went to the village, my mother notice it and told me that the girl is not welcome in the family, she gave me her reason too, I told my Mom she is just a friend and nothing more.

Today my neice got married, I invited my crush and she came to the wedding and I introduced her to my family as my friend, when the ceremony was going on, my sister told me and I quote "this girl you brought is not acceptable, she is too old for you, "common" she is just 27 and am 32... I told my sister that we are just friends and nothing more, then she said better...

I don't want to have any issue with my family in marring a girl but I'm afriad problem might be inevitable because I won't want my family to choose who or who not to marry, I have never had issue with my family before, they love me very much and we are living happily.

One mind is telling me to follow my heart another mind is telling me don't let a woman bring issue between you and your family...
Gosh! family get wahala! What is wrong in marring a girl of 27 years and I'm 32. (5years different)

I'm not ready for any family wahala...
Please how do you handle this kind of issue.

Ogbeni you better grow up and man up.
I think you should go through what you posted and see how silly you sound... Sounding like a child that is still been spoon fed by his family.
Everything lies in your hands, the leverage you give your family members is what they will tread on...
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by arma: 3:02pm On Aug 07, 2021
Wetin concern the family?Na family go marry the person?

1 Like

Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by cymone3kz(m): 3:06pm On Aug 07, 2021
I don't want to disagree with you on this but be wise. I have a friend who wanted to get married but the family rejected the lady, he loved her and want to marry her at all cost so he went ahead and did the marriage without his family's support. We all hailed him that he is a man. Today he is having serious issues in the marriage but he can't come home. Try and communicate with them, make them understand you, there is no genuine love out there greater than that which your parent had for you.
MufasaLion:
Your family got no right to tell you who to marry.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by LLiKYekoba: 3:06pm On Aug 07, 2021
Nazgul:
So at 32 your family are still influencing your decision in life...Age is truly just a number, grow up please and stop being a child.


Listen and listen carefully, when he is marrying anyone he is marrying that person into the family and they will all bear the same surnames with his siblings and family, so they have a say.

Mr OP, please don't listen to uncultured dysfunctional mugus here who think you shouldn't listen to family members about who you should marry and end up tearing your family apart.

You may be blinded by love, but what you can't see, your family members will see. They definitely mean well for you.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by dingbang(m): 3:07pm On Aug 07, 2021
32 and you are still being mummy boy.
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by Poanan: 3:11pm On Aug 07, 2021
Irijosa777:
I'm the last born in the family, all the members of the family had gotten married except me.
I'm 32 now, just rounded up my study. I'm into farming, school works and doing catering work as well. I'm financially balance. I have not gone into a relationship before, I just ignore that aspect because I believe in the principle of "one thing at a time".

Now that I'm through with my study and I have something doing, I'm planning of going into a relationship and get married at least by 2023 but I'm perceiving there's going to be a problem between me and my family.

My family is very selective, very selective... There was a time a friend started visiting me anytime I went to the village, my mother notice it and told me that the girl is not welcome in the family, she gave me her reason too, I told my Mom she is just a friend and nothing more.

Today my neice got married, I invited my crush and she came to the wedding and I introduced her to my family as my friend, when the ceremony was going on, my sister told me and I quote "this girl you brought is not acceptable, she is too old for you, "common" she is just 27 and am 32... I told my sister that we are just friends and nothing more, then she said better...

I don't want to have any issue with my family in marring a girl but I'm afriad problem might be inevitable because I won't want my family to choose who or who not to marry, I have never had issue with my family before, they love me very much and we are living happily.

One mind is telling me to follow my heart another mind is telling me don't let a woman bring issue between you and your family...
Gosh! family get wahala! What is wrong in marring a girl of 27 years and I'm 32. (5years different)

I'm not ready for any family wahala...
Please how do you handle this kind of issue.


hmmm.. your position in the house wont mke you see things until it becomes late. mark my words. A big friend of mine is currently nursing her wounds cos of something like this. She is also the last born. Your family seems to have a complex issue i.e when they see someone they know they cant control they pick issues with the person. If you dont agree please go home with someone that just finished sec school who looks very docile, you will see acceptance. Better grow up and stand by your decision and better be prepared.

6 Likes

Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by Realmi: 3:11pm On Aug 07, 2021
U better man up
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by Alcatel17: 3:11pm On Aug 07, 2021
Newboss:
When a guy dey fûck pussy real good, the pussy go they behave one kind. To be honest, you sound like a pussy being fûcked by your family. Seems you're enjoying the fûck.

You want us to join the fûckery?

Omo calm down bro... lol....try save a brother first na
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by temitimx19(m): 3:14pm On Aug 07, 2021
cymone3kz:
I don't want to disagree with you on this but be wise. I have a friend who wanted to get married but the family rejected the lady, he loved her and want to marry her at all cost so he went ahead and did the marriage without his family's support. Today he is having serious issues in the marriage but he can't come home. Try and communicate with them, make them understand you, there is no genuine love out there greater than that which your parent had for you.
Whether his parents agree or not. They will still have issues, there's no marriage with issues. Unless we want to lie to ourselves

1 Like

Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by larryking540: 3:15pm On Aug 07, 2021
Irijosa777:
I'm the last born in the family, all the members of the family had gotten married except me.
I'm 32 now, just rounded up my study. I'm into farming, school works and doing catering work as well. I'm financially balance. I have not gone into a relationship before, I just ignore that aspect because I believe in the principle of "one thing at a time".

Now that I'm through with my study and I have something doing, I'm planning of going into a relationship and get married at least by 2023 but I'm perceiving there's going to be a problem between me and my family.

My family is very selective, very selective... There was a time a friend started visiting me anytime I went to the village, my mother notice it and told me that the girl is not welcome in the family, she gave me her reason too, I told my Mom she is just a friend and nothing more.

Today my neice got married, I invited my crush and she came to the wedding and I introduced her to my family as my friend, when the ceremony was going on, my sister told me and I quote "this girl you brought is not acceptable, she is too old for you, "common" she is just 27 and am 32... I told my sister that we are just friends and nothing more, then she said better...

I don't want to have any issue with my family in marring a girl but I'm afriad problem might be inevitable because I won't want my family to choose who or who not to marry, I have never had issue with my family before, they love me very much and we are living happily.

One mind is telling me to follow my heart another mind is telling me don't let a woman bring issue between you and your family...
Gosh! family get wahala! What is wrong in marring a girl of 27 years and I'm 32. (5years different)

I'm not ready for any family wahala...
Please how do you handle this kind of issue.

this is where u guys always Bleep up ,u can't have it all , concentrate on school work ,time to marry becomes a problem ,and 80% end up settling for who u don't understand Bec he or she makes flowers glow on your stomach ,and forgetting sometimes it's all desperation taking place not love ........ advice those close to you ,same way u sharpen your brain in education , sharping your body fitness in the gym ,also sharpen your brain in relationship as you grow in life that part you have missed it all ,it's isn't a one day journey trust me.

I just pray you meet who understands you ,,am sure u must have been around guys who approach ladies like juice but due to I wan make money first ,u under looked their actions as waste of time ,now u still have to pay the price ,,,,that's why I said initially you can't have it all ,,,, develop your self and know what you want bro
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by One1Nigeria: 3:16pm On Aug 07, 2021
32 years old baby wait till u nack. 40 ,u go sorry for ur self, this family go still be the one to stigmatize u,he go do u like film
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by Irijosa777(m): 3:18pm On Aug 07, 2021
cymone3kz:
I don't want to disagree with you on this but be wise. I have a friend who wanted to get married but the family rejected the lady, he loved her and want to marry her at all cost so he went ahead and did the marriage without his family's support. We all hailed him that he is a man. Today he is having serious issues in the marriage but he can't come home. Try and communicate with them, make them understand you, there is no genuine love out there greater than that which your parent had for you.
Thanks for your counsele
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by temitimx19(m): 3:20pm On Aug 07, 2021
LLiKYekoba:



Listen and listen, when he is marrying anyone he is marrying that person into the family and they will all bear the same surnames with his siblings and family, so they have a say.

Mr OP, please don't listen to uncultured dysfunctional mugus here who think you shouldn't listen to family members about who you should marry and end up tearing your family apart.

You may be blinded by love, but what you can't see, your family members will see. They definitely mean well for you.

What if his family is wrong? How will you call a 27yr old woman old? Haba, do you want him to marry a teenager.

Many people are single because their family are the ones making decisions for them. During our parents time who choose for them? They explored did crazy things, if you try such things now they will call you wayward.

These days I feel many parents/family members are overprotective they don't want their kids to make mistakes which is wrong. Someone who's 32yrs is old enough to know what is good for him.

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by Swallowurspit(m): 3:21pm On Aug 07, 2021
Family would always interfere and want to influence decisions regarding you (especially when you be last born/have elder sisters like OP). It’s up to you to stick to your choice and they’ll accept once they see you got your mind made up and ready to face the consequences and repercussions of your decisions.
Even people like Goodluck, Buhari, even Donald Trump all face interference from family and associates.
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by Irijosa777(m): 3:21pm On Aug 07, 2021
LLiKYekoba:



Listen and listen, when he is marrying anyone he is marrying that person into the family and they will all bear the same surnames with his siblings and family, so they have a say.

Mr OP, please don't listen to uncultured dysfunctional mugus here who think you shouldn't listen to family members about who you should marry and end up tearing your family apart.

You may be blinded by love, but what you can't see, your family members will see. They definitely mean well for you.

Your counsele is noted
Thanks a lot
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by larryking540: 3:25pm On Aug 07, 2021
how old are u again ,u never kw watin u want for life yet ,I hope u are aware no matter the age a man gets to when he hits 40 years above ,and a younger girl approachs you ,the question they keep getting from her family is why didn't he marry early,and I hope you have a convincing tongue o,,,,, Bec your family will not be there to defend you
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by larryking540: 3:27pm On Aug 07, 2021
LLiKYekoba:



Listen and listen, when he is marrying anyone he is marrying that person into the family and they will all bear the same surnames with his siblings and family, so they have a say.

Mr OP, please don't listen to uncultured dysfunctional mugus here who think you shouldn't listen to family members about who you should marry and end up tearing your family apart.

You may be blinded by love, but what you can't see, your family members will see. They definitely mean well for you.
are the ladies married into the family all responsible,if they are they should hook op up with the single ladies among his sister in law
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by larryking540: 3:29pm On Aug 07, 2021
temitimx19:


What if his family is wrong? How will you call a 27yr old woman old? Haba, do you want him to marry a teenager.

Many people are single because their family are the ones making decisions for them. During our parents time who choose for them? They explored did crazy things, if you try such things now they will call you wayward.

These days I feel many parents/family members are overprotective they don't want their kids to make mistakes which is wrong. Someone who's 32yrs is old enough to know what is good for him.
27 is old sha ,what's is the danger age for giving birth for a lady ,if they where dating before she hit 27 it's okay ,but starting a relationship when she is 27 ,,make op look well o
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by Educhelssy: 3:29pm On Aug 07, 2021
AchalugoNwa:
just like I'll marry you soon because we love each other.
you're a good woman so to marry you is a must.
can't wait to insert my amu inside your otu kiss
chaiiii it'll be the best moment of my life

Adadike say yes naaa
I'm crying like this
please naaaa

What da hell!! So you be man masquerading as woman here , omg ! Nawa o
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by Nobody: 3:30pm On Aug 07, 2021
Nazgul:
So at 32 your family are still influencing your decision in life...Age is truly just a number, grow up please and stop being a child.
Who financed him?? You abi the girls!!


Op, don't listen to this people (feminist ) here o! If family genuinely loves you, after them na God!!

1 Like

Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by LLiKYekoba: 3:32pm On Aug 07, 2021
mrblessed:
There is nothing wrong with your family making recommendation to you, while you make the final decision to marry or not. In fact, they can sample as many ladies as possible for you to pick your choice. Alternatively, you can also bring a lady and try to convince them on why she is the best for you. Even if they disagree at first, they can still accept her if they see you are serious in choosing her as your wife. Never destroy the bond that binds to your family.

However, what struck me the most in your post is that I didn't read where you said/wrote you love your lady-guest that wasn't accepted by your sister. You clearly designated her as "your crush," meaning nothing significant has been established between the two of you. So why the hoopla?

Don't let anyone confuse that family is not important when choosing a spouse. A lot of people come from a background that lacks family love and protection and therefore, can't understand the interest of your family members in your choice of woman.

@ bolded, OP that's what I said earlier. There are many dysfunctional souls here from broken homes. Don't let them deceive you.
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by MansoryMX(m): 3:33pm On Aug 07, 2021
Irijosa777:
I'm the last born in the family, all the members of the family had gotten married except me.
I'm 32 now, just rounded up my study. I'm into farming, school works and doing catering work as well. I'm financially balance. I have not gone into a relationship before, I just ignore that aspect because I believe in the principle of "one thing at a time".

Now that I'm through with my study and I have something doing, I'm planning of going into a relationship and get married at least by 2023 but I'm perceiving there's going to be a problem between me and my family.

My family is very selective, very selective... There was a time a friend started visiting me anytime I went to the village, my mother notice it and told me that the girl is not welcome in the family, she gave me her reason too, I told my Mom she is just a friend and nothing more.

Today my neice got married, I invited my crush and she came to the wedding and I introduced her to my family as my friend, when the ceremony was going on, my sister told me and I quote "this girl you brought is not acceptable, she is too old for you, "common" she is just 27 and am 32... I told my sister that we are just friends and nothing more, then she said better...

I don't want to have any issue with my family in marring a girl but I'm afriad problem might be inevitable because I won't want my family to choose who or who not to marry, I have never had issue with my family before, they love me very much and we are living happily.

One mind is telling me to follow my heart another mind is telling me don't let a woman bring issue between you and your family...
Gosh! family get wahala! What is wrong in marring a girl of 27 years and I'm 32. (5years different)

I'm not ready for any family wahala...
Please how do you handle this kind of issue.

The only advice I have for you is carry out a small research to know the kind of woman they will accept into the family because your family plays a vital role in your life bro and marrying a woman for love who your family won’t accept is true beginning of the end for you. Talk to your mom and sisters to know the type of girl they want you to get married to because this generation of woman are worst than the devil, they are cunning, heartless and reek of evil no matter how beautiful they look or how sweet in the middle they are!
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by Nobody: 3:34pm On Aug 07, 2021
Spider20:
Pls avoid marrying old torn newspapers ok
Flee from them.........
Your family members are doing a great work for you not to be a simp
Kudos to them
Better great work..


They want the best for him...


All these feminist just yapka de yan shit grin
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by Melvis100(m): 3:34pm On Aug 07, 2021
On your death bed, you would wish you listened to your self for ones...
A lot of times, we listen to others and bear the consequences alone.
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by LLiKYekoba: 3:35pm On Aug 07, 2021
temitimx19:


What if his family is wrong? How will you call a 27yr old woman old? Haba, do you want him to marry a teenager.

Many people are single because their family are the ones making decisions for them. During our parents time who choose for them? They explored did crazy things, if you try such things now they will call you wayward.

These days I feel many parents/family members are overprotective they don't want their kids to make mistakes which is wrong. Someone who's 32yrs is old enough to know what is good for him.

Actually, in our parents time when marriage was still valued, their families made match-making for them. Not today when you have sex today, the next day you are tired of the girl.
Today young people talk about 'boring' relationships, with divorce everywhere on per second billing.
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by MufasaLion: 3:41pm On Aug 07, 2021
cymone3kz:
I don't want to disagree with you on this but be wise. I have a friend who wanted to get married but the family rejected the lady, he loved her and want to marry her at all cost so he went ahead and did the marriage without his family's support. We all hailed him that he is a man. Today he is having serious issues in the marriage but he can't come home. Try and communicate with them, make them understand you, there is no genuine love out there greater than that which your parent had for you.

In summary you support the guy's family to decide on who to marry, just because if he should have issues with his wife, he'd have a home to run to. Well done undecided
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by BullyBullseye: 3:42pm On Aug 07, 2021
guy, take out time to fast and pray so u will know your wife, like 2-3weeks after there will be no tension.
Re: How Do You Deal With Family Issue When Choosing Who To Marry? by OkuFaba(m): 3:46pm On Aug 07, 2021
Beebah2000:
This is the most ridiculous thread I've ever read in my entire life.
Your parents are still making decisions for u?
At your age??
Lol......!!! cheesy
honestly.. I'm 29 and I'm planning to settle down next year, dude is 32 planning 2023 and family dey control his choices..

OVER GROWN BABY

1 Like

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