MrBrownJay1:


are you saying that as a couple, you will now eat more food than you did when you were dating?!?!?!?!
here is a clue: small money you have for food (before marriage) + small money your wife had for food (before marriage)... put it together and thats more than enough money for food as a married couple.



if you had these equipments before marriage why do you need more after marriage? better yet, you bring your TV, she brings her bed, you bring your fridge, she brings her oven... aka you both bring what you can. you can even live on the floor in a shack, if thats what you desire.



you deal with the above issues the SAME WAY you would deal with such issues as a single person, duh!



pls do as i see nothing of value here...



i kept the above for last as it is such a funny statement, it made me burst laughing... are you really saying that before 2 people get married, they need dash money for deluded people out there? didnt you see where i wrote to cut your coat accordingly? what about telling in laws that I AINT GOT IT?!?!? is that so difficult to do?!
in law ko, off anarchy ni!

Sorry bro, but you need to give up.it’s a bad idea to get married while broke,imagine not having money to pay your rent and you need a place to squat,it’s easier to get a place as a single person or imagine your wife falling sick and you need money for the hospital bill,or she could even fall pregnant.

Go and chase money boiz,forget about women,there’s nothing good in it.

babyfaceafrica:
You guys should stop this... You have put many guys into problems

Very true.

And that was actually my motive behind the creation of this thread. All this motivational speakers will push you to your early grave if you listen to them. I remember what I heard from such people before getting married, I remember how the first month of marriage was blissful. But now, for someone to help me with one kobo must come with a price. Family members are even worse.

Those who have ears should hear cos what I'm experiencing is not funny, not only me, what many are going through because of such decision is terrible.

rex21:


Na wa o, Are you getting married for a ceremony ??
One gets married for a number of reasons, according to social studies. Marriage is not centered around children.

You didn't answer the question

aycapri:
This thread go sweet die. Lemme know if you need a chair to sit and pop corn to keep your mouth busy. �

Bad boy

DontBullshitMe:
They will use 'promise of 10k' to fuçk your wife.

Sad part is she won't eventually get the 10k.

Tueh for poverty.

Hahahhahahaha

udoji2021:


Very true.

And that was actually my motive behind the creation of this thread. All this motivational speakers will push you to your early grave if you listen to them[b]. I remember what I heard from such people before getting married, I remember how the first month of marriage was blissful. But now, for someone to help me with one kobo must come with a price. Family members are even worse.[/b]

Those who have ears should hear cos what I'm experiencing is not funny, not only me, what many are going through because of such decision is terrible.

Na real motivational speakers.. Empty pangolo... If you are not careful they will push you to early grave

babyfaceafrica:
Na real motivational speakers.. Empty pangolo... If you are not careful they will push you to early grave

Believe me, that guy is a kid who don't know anything about marriage. Money is very crucial for a healthy marriage

Kazim88:
OP, To a large extent, you "appear" to be right but you are not. Let me explain.

Marriage brings out the YOU in you, like an orange you will be squeez and your hidden personality will be revealed.

When I got married, I was rich, When the inevitable, unavoidable bills start rolling in it brought out the Entrepreneur and hustling spirit within.

It was make it or go to jail.

If deep inside I was someone that could beg for aid from my friends, family or leader, I would had beg but I wasn't.

If I was a fraudster, I would had pick up laptop but I wasn't.

In summary, marriage will accelerate yourself discovery.

Exactly why some end up in jail or become fraudsters. So how is OP wrong?

udoji2021:
I just come across a thread about this topic and felt like contributing on it.

https://www.nairaland.com/6703059/struggling-hard-money-hasnt-come

In a nutshell, I'm of the opinion that a guy should hustle and have money, hustle hard again and have more money before he can start thinking of marriage.

You head get oil.
Even me that is still struggling financially now, I don't have a girlfriend talk more of going to marry someone daughter in this state.
I will work hard and be stable financially, before I will have an relationship with the opposite sex

FreeIgboho:


You didn't answer the question

You ddnt ask any direct question sir

Good perspective. I think this is sound reasoning. The thread to which you're replying is also true to am extent, only, you put it in a more refined and broad perspective. You spoke a language people with a higher IQ understand, he spoke to the majority basic-thinking average Nigerian by using terms like "someone's daughter" etc. The other moot point he of divergence between you two is that in this clime, marriage connotes having kids, you really can't get married and "decide" not to add to the family. The average Nigerian will face harrasment from all quarters, such that they will rather choose the lesser harrasment of "when are you getting married".
So, in conclusion, I think it is necessary to have both your perspectives out there for effective dissemination to all categories

MrBrownJay1:
all you people are looking at marriage with a failed vision.... you dont need money to get married, marriage is just an extention of a r/ship sealed by a useless piece of paper....if you guys were broke and could date happily, then there is no reason why you couldnt get married and still be happy. the problem here is that all you people are thinking that a broke couple should do exactly the same thing as one with money, while the couple with little money needs to ADAPT TO THEIR SITUATION until they have enough money to care for a family (aka children etc)

a lot of people are quick to call a man/woman broke because they only have money to take care of their own needs, but the reality is that there are many people who are broke because they paid their rent, put food in the fridge and paid their bills etc. if 2 broke people join hands, then they can EASILY live happily ever after (so long as they dont try to add to their family). so a broke married couple needs to take contraception, need to cut their coat according to their situation and they need to work towards getting a better life situation in order to have kids etc

it takes money for a single person to take care of their basic need... its called LIFE and everyone should be able to take care of their basic needs before thinking of marriage, same for married ones. you dont need "more" money to get married than the money you each had to take care of your basic needs, if your spouse cant/couldnt take care of their basic needs then you shouldnt get married and that person should sort that part of their lives 1st before thinking of getting married, as they are a LIABILITY

as for your hustle statement, no wonder so many men fail in marriage when they think that having money to take care of a liability is the solution to their problem....a liability is a LIABILITY whether you bring more money to the table or not.

udoji2021:


With all due respect sir,
Money stops almost all, if not all the nonsense I mentioned up there, infact, money/wealth is one of the criteria for a happy marriage.

smiles, this your post Sha.

can you please explain to me why Bill gate even with his money still got divorced? (I think I read one time that his wife is dating a high school teacher).

His money couldn't keep his wife.

what one should be praying for In this life..., is that we marry our person, who will love and stay loyal to us through thick and thin.

Money doesn't stop any Nonsense in marriage, trust me. Nonsense bound to happen in marriage will happen. Money or no Money.

This is supposed to be a normal common Sense... believe if any one make a mistake of marry without

udoji2021:
I just come across a thread about this topic and felt like contributing on it.

https://www.nairaland.com/6703059/struggling-hard-money-hasnt-come

Guys, I will not beat around the bush, getting married when you are not financially bouyant is the greatest mistake that can NEVER be corrected, infact, it's a sin and against natural laws to bring someone's daughter to your house when you are struggling to take care of yourself and consequently starts laying foundation of poverty that will last for generations if not forever.

WHY?

Experience is the best teacher, I'm a victim of such circumstances and I know what I face in that type of marriage and is still facing. When you make such mistake, you will start sleeping abnormally which is the first sign of things to come, it will then lead to over thinking and depression. Forget about family members, no one will be there to help you when you needed their help. Begging to feed or meet your financial obligations is even worst cos first, the insults you will receive can make you commit suicide, and if you start this begging, people will always give you fake promises, the time that you would have used in doing productive something will be on moving from one place to another or staying online to reply people. Forget about all this motivational speakers cos you will only see another motivational quote from them when the sh*t hits the fan.

Secondly, the saying that someone obtain favor from Whatever God when you are Married is also false to some extent, God don't pour manna from heaven this days as was reported in the Bible (don't know if this is even true), get married and sit at home waiting for favor from the Lord and see if you didn't die of hunger within days.

Most painful part is that, you may end up suffering for another person children ignorantly, HOW?

Let me give an example, I went to one politician for help and this man told me to back later, he later sent someone to call my wife and start telling her to sleep with him (heavy pregnant woman o) before he can help. I was lucky that my wife told me about it with proof of what the man was doing, that was the day I stopped calling him. Now, what if she agreed without telling me and continued after she birth?

Guys, hustle and settle down first marriage and thank me later.

Lastly, all this girls will keep telling you that I will manage, I will manage, but if they finally come and stay with you, they will not manage again. Infact, that is how some women have finally taken over their houses and start maltreating the husbands for been weak.

In a nutshell, I'm of the opinion that a guy should hustle and have money, hustle hard again and have more money before he can start thinking of marriage.

Remain Blessed Bro.
I deeply pity Guys who propose to Ladies who do nothing esp. the ones without vision & mission. Sometimes I wonder what would have made me do such if I'm not married now.
B4 I married, I was already OK by Nigeria standard.
Almost all the Ladies I met wanted proposal.
One went behind me to befriend my MOM.
They all knew what they were looking for.

No woman invests where she will never reap.
A WOMAN does a calculation before leaping.
I developed myself.
And I told myself i wasn't going to settle for any lady without brain & effort.
As a man before you request for BANANA, develop yourself into a Big irresistible MANGO too.

Just like you said, they will assure the man that they will manage with him, but let me tell the MEN; that's a FATAL LIE.
Stay Focused and make yourself irresistible.
Then watch how they will cluster around you.
However, make your requirements clear.
Avoid LEECHES or anything that has to do with them. IF possible visit her family without notice to observe the Leeching effect. You can also allow her siblings interact with you freely.
It will give you an idea of how your marriage to her will be.

Thank you for writing this topic. It really favoured me too, after NYSC with no skilled work, only searching for certificate job, still not available, I tried to find a lady that will manage and transform my life as our parent do say but no one was ready to marry a jobseeker but I believe Allah have a reason and alhamdulillai now things has been transforming gradually despite no schl cert job but I have three hand job that is bringing money for me.
[b]My advice to the guys that are hustling in Naija of baba Buhari now, don't only double your hustle, if possible multiply your hustle because now everybody is a contractor of any work. also workkkkkk and prayyyy. Let it be 60 by 40. Also if the church or mosque you are attending doesn't favour you, abeg change over oooo. Overtaking is allowed. Also marry at your right time and give birth as your income increase. No let anybody deceive you. After God created us, he allowed us to be an architect of our life.[b]

Lamasta:

With all the money Bill gates has why did his marriage crash if I follow your analogy

He is trying to show to the world marriage na scam, So that People will Not get married, and his plan of reducing world population is good

jamace:
What about wives of managers, millionaires and even billionaires wey gateman, oga driver and oga PA de nyash?

Hahahhahahaha you can't predict vagina People she can deny a fine boy pekus but give it to an ugly cultist Jeje

rex21:

You ddnt ask any direct question sir

See the bolded below

Manq:
Money isn't everything but something in marriage.. I got married with an income lower than 50k managed to startup a small business for her, along the line she got a job, now I have my own business combined with my job.

How were you able to save up from the lower than 50k income to cater for the marital expenses??
Just want to know how long it took you before you felt you needed to wife her.

FreeIgboho:


See the bolded below

I'll marry
1. To legalise my relationship (bf/gf)
2. For companionship
3. To build a home
4. To have a partner especially in old age
5. To have children that will also provide the above (in due time)

In marriage, money is important but marriage transcends money my brother. Our fathers before our grandfathers married with little or nothing except large farmlands. Standards were low then, nobody was thinking of plush weddings or some friends and neighbours to impress. If we do not reduce this money mentality, even in wealth, one's marriage will still have problems. Is there anything like enough money ?? E nor dey. Human wants is insatiable. I'd really like to engage you in a civil conversation if we'll be pragmatic and converse with open minds.

Bottom line if you think you can keep and maintain a girlfriend then you can as well marry her legally

rex21:

I'll marry
1. To legalise my relationship (bf/gf)
2. For companionship
3. To build a home
4. To have a partner especially in old age
5. To have children that will also provide the above (in due time)

In marriage, money is important but marriage transcends money my brother. Our fathers before our grandfathers married with little or nothing except large farmlands. Standards were low then, nobody was thinking of plush weddings or some friends and neighbours to impress. If we do not reduce this money mentality, even in wealth, one's marriage will still have problems. Is there anything like enough money ?? E nor dey. Human wants is insatiable. I'd really like to engage you in a civil conversation if we'll be pragmatic and converse with open minds.

Bottom line if you think you can keep and maintain a girlfriend then you can as well marry her legally

I'm being very pragmatic. U r the one talking as if you live on an island and not in society. In the old days that u mentioned marriage involved having money - the rich married many wives while some poor had none. Mattiage always involved bride price and ceremonies and inviting society to witness your union.
BTW everything u listed above can be accomplished without marriage. So again, why rush into marriage NOW? Why??

Swinger60:
smiles, this your post Sha.

can you please explain to me why Bill gate even with his money still got divorced? (I think I read one time that his wife is dating a high school teacher).

His money couldn't keep his wife.

what one should be praying for In this life..., is that we marry our person, who will love and stay loyal to us through thick and thin.

Money doesn't stop any Nonsense in marriage, trust me. Nonsense bound to happen in marriage will happen. Money or no Money.

Leave Bill gates out of this. Heck, leave the whites out of this. Their marital life is totally different from ours. Once they are not feeling it, they move. Low key, they don't see marriage as an everlasting union. We Africans do. Money stops so many nonsense in African homes. A man is not a man in Nigeria if he doesn't have money. It's not same abroad. Woman go be breadwinner for America and it is seen as totally normal. In naija, the man will be ridiculed, both by his immediate family and the community

Swinger60:
smiles, this your post Sha.

can you please explain to me why Bill gate even with his money still got divorced? (I think I read one time that his wife is dating a high school teacher).

His money couldn't keep his wife.

what one should be praying for In this life..., is that we marry our person, who will love and stay loyal to us through thick and thin.

Money doesn't stop any Nonsense in marriage, trust me. Nonsense bound to happen in marriage will happen. Money or no Money.

They divorced precisely because of money - she stood to get billions by divorcing him. If it were in Naija she won't divorce him. NEVER! Because she'd be poor without him. So u actually proved that it is all about money!

ityP:



Leave Bill gates out of this. Heck, leave the whites out of this. Their marital life is totally different from ours. Once they are not feeling it, they move. Low key, they don't see marriage as an everlasting union. We Africans do. Money stops so many nonsense in African homes. A man is not a man in Nigeria if he doesn't have money. It's not same abroad. Woman go be breadwinner for America and it is seen as totally normal. In naija, the man will be ridiculed, both by his immediate family and the community

See my post above. You sorta are on point, but also sorta missed the point

olamoses75:
and if it takes you money to control your wife, I am sorry to say that what you've married is just a girlfriend or baby mama. You get the right woman for yourself only when you're broke. Everyone will probably claim to love you if you've money. The worst mistake a broke man that's of marriagable age can make is to wait till he has money before choosing a wife. If you can feed yourself, and she can also feed herself without your help, the combination of both of you can never be bad. So far you're not the type of person that love showing off around your in-laws just to impress them, and it's not mandatory you have children immediately after marriage until you both get your life planned out.

IS not that I don't agree with you but the problem I have never see a correct woman Love me when I was broke my G except either she is evening newspaper or ugly

Swinger60:
smiles, this your post Sha.

can you please explain to me why Bill gate even with his money still got divorced? (I think I read one time that his wife is dating a high school teacher).

His money couldn't keep his wife.

what one should be praying for In this life..., is that we marry our person, who will love and stay loyal to us through thick and thin.

Money doesn't stop any Nonsense in marriage, trust me. Nonsense bound to happen in marriage will happen. Money or no Money.

Divorcing bill gate was the only way she could get money from him. It is still all about the money. Their way of life is different from ours, if it was in Nigeria, she wouldn't do that as it will make her poor. Money is very important in life, let alone marriage. If u are married, let your husband stop providing money for basic necessities like subscription, light, feeding, education etc and how your attitude will naturally change towards him.

udoji2021:


There are many changes that naturally occur when someone get married. First, everybody (husband & wife) true colors are seeing and felt by each. I said this because, most girls use to pretend when you are just dating, same thing goes to the guys, but when they started staying under one roof eh!

Again, your affection for each other use to decline no matter how you love yourselves. That is, you don't desire each other like before and if with time, any of the partner is failing to meet you with the financial, emotional, physical etc support, it may lead to another problem.


Many things use to change sir,

Very true

FreeIgboho:


I'm being very pragmatic. U r the one talking as if you live on an island and not in society. In the old days that u mentioned marriage involved having money - the rich married many wives while some poor had none. Mattiage always involved bride price and ceremonies and inviting society to witness your union.
BTW everything u listed above can be accomplished without marriage. So again, why rush into marriage NOW? Why??

How many people in the old days that stayed unmarried because of wealth ??
You rightly said, the wealthy married many because they can cater for them, the less privileged ones married as their might could carry. Who are you even doing parties for sef, na wa o. Are you living for the society ??

You say everything i listed can be achieved without being married, did you see where i initially wrote legal

My guy, i ddnt say rush into marriage now. I said if you can date her, then you can marry her

The comment i quoted was centered on this.

I'm not married and i'm not dating. When i can do one, then i can do both. Thats my conviction

Rubbiish:

Divorcing bill gate was the only way she could get money from him. It is still all about the money. Their way of life is different from ours, if it was in Nigeria, she wouldn't do that as it will make her poor. Money is very important in life, let alone marriage. If u are married, let your husband stop providing money for basic necessities like subscription, light, feeding, education etc and how your attitude will naturally change towards him.

"Was the only way she could get money from him"

Abeg, in trying to defend our claim, make we dey try scrutinze our words properly

rex21:


"Was the only way she could get money from him"

Abeg, in trying to defend our claim, make we dey try scrutinze our words properly

How else would she have gotten that percentage of wealth from bill gate if not through divorce?? Please don't quote me if u can't use your head!

Rubbiish:

How else would she have gotten that percentage of wealth from bill gate if not through divorce?? Please don't quote me if u can't use your head!

Use my head you say ??
Your words are myopic and rather lugubrious to say the least. At her age, what does she need that much money for that she couldn't get from him. Only her surname could fetch her what ever she needed. My brother, she can still get whatever money can buy and still stay married to him. My guy, be open minded and practical. You dont have to sound/act African in everything