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Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! - Family (10) - Nairaland

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How To Come Out Of Struggling Financially And Become Rich / If You Are Struggling So Hard And Money Hasn't Come, Get Married / To The Married; When Did You Know He/she Was The One For You? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by FreeIgboho: 7:19pm On Aug 16, 2021
Klass99:


Lol, enjoy.

I stopped reading at Page 1, because I know how the thread will go........

There'll be two factions and comments will be divided along the lines of practicality (or sensibility if you like) and religiousity.

Or am I wrong? As you have followed the thread, tell me if I'm right or wrong. grin

cheesy well, u r wrong. The thread has followed the path of realism (a poor person is poor for a reason and will likely stay poor) and exuberant optism (a poor person may become a millionaire tomorrow)
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by Phrankin(m): 7:19pm On Aug 16, 2021
decatalyst:
In this kind of economy and society, why would anyone sane man marry without any source of income?

Why? Why?
free fvck
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by Jimtocracy: 7:23pm On Aug 16, 2021
So if the man dies today, the lady wouldn't continue her life abi? Don't marry base on pity bro.
buJu234:
u re right in some way..

what about a case, where the lady is not getting younger (>28yr) and she has spent the last 2-3yrs with u..

what will u still advise the man?
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by ohynedar(f): 7:24pm On Aug 16, 2021
'obtain favour from whatever God'?
Was that a mistake or you meant it, you took the issue too personally because of your personal experience which is nobody's business whereas those who married while struggling and got blessing greatly by God afterwards will tell you a different story.
GOD is not your mate, infact HE is greater than the greatest thing you know!

5 Likes

Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by FreeIgboho: 7:25pm On Aug 16, 2021
NNEWIsuper:

What the guy said made no sense. For one you're living your life for yourself and not the society, explain to me how it makes sense to start popping out kids in poverty bc the society expects you to do so, meanwhile they won't partake in your suffering. Make una open una eyes and stop suffering yourselves

You ignored everything I said about wedding ceremonies and bride prices, and aseobi, and inlaws, and visitors, and various expectations (example, a single can sleep anywhere and leave any time).
It is not only kids that make marriage eaxpensive.

1 Like

Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by elonmuskbaby: 7:27pm On Aug 16, 2021
MrBrownJay1:
all you people are looking at marriage with a failed vision.... you dont need money to get married, marriage is just an extention of a r/ship sealed by a useless piece of paper....if you guys were broke and could date happily, then there is no reason why you couldnt get married and still be happy. the problem here is that all you people are thinking that a broke couple should do exactly the same thing as one with money, while the couple with little money needs to ADAPT TO THEIR SITUATION until they have enough money to care for a family (aka children etc)

a lot of people are quick to call a man/woman broke because they only have money to take care of their own needs, but the reality is that there are many people who are broke because they paid their rent, put food in the fridge and paid their bills etc. if 2 broke people join hands, then they can EASILY live happily ever after (so long as they dont try to add to their family). so a broke married couple needs to take contraception, need to cut their coat according to their situation and they need to work towards getting a better life situation in order to have kids etc

it takes money for a single person to take care of their basic need... its called LIFE and everyone should be able to take care of their basic needs before thinking of marriage, same for married ones. you dont need "more" money to get married than the money you each had to take care of your basic needs, if your spouse cant/couldnt take care of their basic needs then you shouldnt get married and that person should sort that part of their lives 1st before thinking of getting married, as they are a LIABILITY

as for your hustle statement, no wonder so many men fail in marriage when they think that having money to take care of a liability is the solution to their problem....a liability is a LIABILITY whether you bring more money to the table or not.
Mr brown how can you be encouraging a broke man to Marry? As enlightened and educated as you are.do you know how much house rent is in nigeria? E be like say you never know or understand the realities of nigeria.even if a couple pull resources and choose not to bring a child, them go poor and hungry pass church rat.

By the time they remove house rent, transport to and fro from work or buisness everyday, recharge card, refilling of kitchen gas , basic laundry for the home (washing soaps, bathing soaps, sanitary pad, tissue paper, foodstuffs (I don't think you know how expensive foodstuffs are in the market) wetin remain? Na poverty them dey romance with

Dear bachelor of you no get money don't ever think of marriage.na depression and anxiety go kill you, the love wey dey shak you go vanish, people will start looking at you with disdain,you will be susceptible to insults from all and sundry, you will loose your dignity, after some time sef your wife will not be able to cope,she will start disrespecting you and if she's someone that cannot endure,she will enter the highest bidders car once they flash money at her.forget o women like comfort.their patience for suffer head is very short.just respect yourself and make money 1st except you want to be an online beggar where you will have to be at the mercy of people to pay your bills.trust me it's not a pleasant situation because I trust nairalanders,the insult when them go 1st give you go enter 2 pages.some will even cast aspersions on you claiming that you're a yahoo boy,lazy etc.you don't want to be in that position.even the people encouraging you to marry go face front when you can no longer pay your bills

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Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by IamHonourable1: 7:28pm On Aug 16, 2021
OP let me tell you something you don't know,even as a rich guy,I won't marry a woman who has no financial backing.

3 Likes

Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by FreeIgboho: 7:29pm On Aug 16, 2021
rex21:


And who said ts compulsory to brandish all these before one's marriage will be termed legal ??

So u won't have kids, u won't have any ceremonies, etc.
Explain to us why u r getting married
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by Emerie22(m): 7:30pm On Aug 16, 2021
Pochettino:
We women were created to bring down men & destroy their destinies.
I wonder why men don't know this yet.



How come?
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by FreeIgboho: 7:35pm On Aug 16, 2021
IamHonourable1:
OP let me tell you something you don't know,even as a rich guy,I won't marry a woman who has no financial backing.

If u r very rich, it won't matter. But if u r just average struggling rich, u r right
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by FreeIgboho: 7:37pm On Aug 16, 2021
Emerie22:




How come?

Pochettino was being sarcastic. Women give life flavor
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by firstgirl: 7:43pm On Aug 16, 2021
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Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by caandi: 7:44pm On Aug 16, 2021
24brains:
do not seek advice from women, they have always lied to the comon man to deceive him. (redpillers rule)

No wonder men die before their time! So because a man has a wife and children to feed, he should deprive himself of sleep in the name of hustle abi? thats the begining of suffering in marriage indeed.

You sound one sided though. While a woman sit idle for a man to provide.
Not really you didn’t get my point. I’m not one sided. A woman should have her own money and hustle to support for sure, but have you thought about cases whereby the woman doesn’t have a job and no money to start a business, or no money from the man either to sponsor a business, what would she do? Well since the man is the head, it’s his sole responsibility to provide for his home

Guys shebi una hear the responsibilities married man dey carry? So marriage no be for poor people oo.

Make money before you enter legal suffering.
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by Manq(m): 7:48pm On Aug 16, 2021
Mainlymanof:

Did you wed her before all this or you wed her after all this or you will wed her later .
.
My reason of asking this question is , if I am not financially bouyant I will not marry by wedding . But if is to cohabit with a girlfriend and grind the life together, maybe letter welcome a child to the world with her . Wen everything gets better I will now wed her simple

After I wedded her! First baby died in the womb @ 5months after the wedding.. that was enough to frustrate me cos I was leaving on a budget
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by NNEWIsuper: 7:57pm On Aug 16, 2021
24brains:
this is africa, Nigeria precisely. if you marry you no get pickin na sympathy and taboo for my village oo.

imagine say your mama dey look your wife say she no dey fertile! i swear she can't stand that shame people will say its the sin of abortion hunting her, some will say you are not man enough, many will say its demonic, and nobody will listen to your contraceptive storey.

the valid point is make money before geting married so that when bills and kids come, you're all prepared.
Well you're still backward in your own Africa. Igbo people have moved ahead and practice what I just stated
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by NNEWIsuper: 7:59pm On Aug 16, 2021
Rubbiish:

U are the one spreading suffering!
I am with the op!
A man should avoid marriage until he have a moderate inflow of cash capable of providing the basic necessities for a family. You are promoting entering marriage with poverty with the hope of not having kids? Who is with poverty mentality here?
I see how you have been misunderstanding me, no wonder. Of course why do you want to marry as a poor man. Makes no sense
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by Gfskw: 8:01pm On Aug 16, 2021
Yeah
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by NNEWIsuper: 8:02pm On Aug 16, 2021
Rubbiish:

I say again u are not married & u are the one with poverty mentality here!
If u can jump into marriage when u are not financially buoyant, is it in marriage u will be able to stay without kids?? If u don't want to spread poverty stay single till u have moderate inflow of cash enough to cater for the basic needs of a family like op rightly pointed out & not rushing into marriage with the hope of staying without kids when your wife can even take-in from frequent sex or u want to continue abortion in marriage? People rush into marriage because they want kids considering their age, so they can start raising kids. U that don't want kids, why will u be rushing into marriage with poverty? To have constant access to sex that the end result can only bring about children? Use head for once!
I know you're a married man suffering in poverty and regretting why you got married. Kpele tongue
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by Paramount01(m): 8:13pm On Aug 16, 2021
dahmie2013:
God is a God of order. Before he created man, he created food first. How will you be thinking of marriage when you can barely take care of yourself. That is suicide in the making.
I like my church for that, they confirm your source of income and other necessary information before they can approve a wedding ceremony.

which church?
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by Kazim88: 8:22pm On Aug 16, 2021
OP, To a large extent, you "appear" to be right but you are not. Let me explain.

Marriage brings out the YOU in you, like an orange you will be squeez and your hidden personality will be revealed.

When I got married, I was rich, When the inevitable, unavoidable bills start rolling in it brought out the Entrepreneur and hustling spirit within.

It was make it or go to jail.

If deep inside I was someone that could beg for aid from my friends, family or leader, I would had beg but I wasn't.

If I was a fraudster, I would had pick up laptop but I wasn't.

In summary, marriage will accelerate yourself discovery.
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by viktohmarkz(m): 8:23pm On Aug 16, 2021
Pochettino:
We women were created to bring down men & destroy their destinies.
I wonder why men don't know this yet.

What did i just read

Im sure your guardian angel must be shocked too
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by thunderbabs: 8:25pm On Aug 16, 2021
Mehn, na reality o. Point blank.

Real life shit.....Its a complicated matter
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by rex21: 8:28pm On Aug 16, 2021
FreeIgboho:


So u won't have kids, u won't have any ceremonies, etc.
Explain to us why u r getting married

Na wa o, Are you getting married for a ceremony ??
One gets married for a number of reasons, according to social studies. Marriage is not centered around children.
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by madridsta007(m): 8:29pm On Aug 16, 2021
udoji2021:
I just come across a thread about this topic and felt like contributing on it.

https://www.nairaland.com/6703059/struggling-hard-money-hasnt-come

Guys, I will not beat around the bush, getting married when you are not financially bouyant is the greatest mistake that can NEVER be corrected, infact, it's a sin and against natural laws to bring someone's daughter to your house when you are struggling to take care of yourself and consequently starts laying foundation of poverty that will last for generations if not forever.

WHY?

Experience is the best teacher, I'm a victim of such circumstances and I know what I face in that type of marriage and is still facing. When you make such mistake, you will start sleeping abnormally which is the first sign of things to come, it will then lead to over thinking and depression. Forget about family members, no one will be there to help you when you needed their help. Begging to feed or meet your financial obligations is even worst cos first, the insults you will receive can make you commit suicide, and if you start this begging, people will always give you fake promises, the time that you would have used in doing productive something will be on moving from one place to another or staying online to reply people. Forget about all this motivational speakers cos you will only see another motivational quote from them when the sh*t hits the fan.

Secondly, the saying that someone obtain favor from Whatever God when you are Married is also false to some extent, God don't pour manna from heaven this days as was reported in the Bible (don't know if this is even true), get married and sit at home waiting for favor from the Lord and see if you didn't die of hunger within days.

Most painful part is that, you may end up suffering for another person children ignorantly, HOW?

Let me give an example, I went to one politician for help and this man told me to back later, he later sent someone to call my wife and start telling her to sleep with him (heavy pregnant woman o) before he can help. I was lucky that my wife told me about it with proof of what the man was doing, that was the day I stopped calling him. Now, what if she agreed without telling me and continued after she birth?

Guys, hustle and settle down first marriage and thank me later.

Lastly, all this girls will keep telling you that I will manage, I will manage, but if they finally come and stay with you, they will not manage again. Infact, that is how some women have finally taken over their houses and start maltreating the husbands for been weak.

In a nutshell, I'm of the opinion that a guy should hustle and have money, hustle hard again and have more money before he can start thinking of marriage.

“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?

Luke 14:28

Anyone that encourages men to get married believing God will miraculously show up after he says, "I do" is an evil person.
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by eniteden(m): 8:30pm On Aug 16, 2021
There is nothing like why my brother, it's very very wrong to take such decisions. It's against natural law sef.
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by marttol: 8:42pm On Aug 16, 2021
the idiot is a man,he forgot a woman gave birth to him
dobnina:

Are you a woman or just a man disguising as a woman
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by Abiodunspectre(m): 8:53pm On Aug 16, 2021
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Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by madridsta007(m): 8:54pm On Aug 16, 2021
udoji2021:
I just come across a thread about this topic and felt like contributing on it.

https://www.nairaland.com/6703059/struggling-hard-money-hasnt-come

Guys, I will not beat around the bush, getting married when you are not financially bouyant is the greatest mistake that can NEVER be corrected, infact, it's a sin and against natural laws to bring someone's daughter to your house when you are struggling to take care of yourself and consequently starts laying foundation of poverty that will last for generations if not forever.

WHY?

Experience is the best teacher, I'm a victim of such circumstances and I know what I face in that type of marriage and is still facing. When you make such mistake, you will start sleeping abnormally which is the first sign of things to come, it will then lead to over thinking and depression. Forget about family members, no one will be there to help you when you needed their help. Begging to feed or meet your financial obligations is even worst cos first, the insults you will receive can make you commit suicide, and if you start this begging, people will always give you fake promises, the time that you would have used in doing productive something will be on moving from one place to another or staying online to reply people. Forget about all this motivational speakers cos you will only see another motivational quote from them when the sh*t hits the fan.

Secondly, the saying that someone obtain favor from Whatever God when you are Married is also false to some extent, God don't pour manna from heaven this days as was reported in the Bible (don't know if this is even true), get married and sit at home waiting for favor from the Lord and see if you didn't die of hunger within days.

Most painful part is that, you may end up suffering for another person children ignorantly, HOW?

Let me give an example, I went to one politician for help and this man told me to back later, he later sent someone to call my wife and start telling her to sleep with him (heavy pregnant woman o) before he can help. I was lucky that my wife told me about it with proof of what the man was doing, that was the day I stopped calling him. Now, what if she agreed without telling me and continued after she birth?

Guys, hustle and settle down first marriage and thank me later.

Lastly, all this girls will keep telling you that I will manage, I will manage, but if they finally come and stay with you, they will not manage again. Infact, that is how some women have finally taken over their houses and start maltreating the husbands for been weak.

In a nutshell, I'm of the opinion that a guy should hustle and have money, hustle hard again and have more money before he can start thinking of marriage.

Adam was working as a
1. Gardner
2. Name Assigner
3. Farmer

Spiritually he was a
1. Worshipper
2. Always dwelling in the presence of God.

He was working. Not broke. Not idle. Any lady that wants to marry you without you working actually hates you.
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by Melaninprincess(f): 8:57pm On Aug 16, 2021
Check my signature if You don't need to worry about money or any financial burdens anymore
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by nezer83: 9:19pm On Aug 16, 2021
udoji2021:
I just come across a thread about this topic and felt like contributing on it.

https://www.nairaland.com/6703059/struggling-hard-money-hasnt-come

Guys, I will not beat around the bush, getting married when you are not financially bouyant is the greatest mistake that can NEVER be corrected, infact, it's a sin and against natural laws to bring someone's daughter to your house when you are struggling to take care of yourself and consequently starts laying foundation of poverty that will last for generations if not forever.

WHY?

Experience is the best teacher, I'm a victim of such circumstances and I know what I face in that type of marriage and is still facing. When you make such mistake, you will start sleeping abnormally which is the first sign of things to come, it will then lead to over thinking and depression. Forget about family members, no one will be there to help you when you needed their help. Begging to feed or meet your financial obligations is even worst cos first, the insults you will receive can make you commit suicide, and if you start this begging, people will always give you fake promises, the time that you would have used in doing productive something will be on moving from one place to another or staying online to reply people. Forget about all this motivational speakers cos you will only see another motivational quote from them when the sh*t hits the fan.

Secondly, the saying that someone obtain favor from Whatever God when you are Married is also false to some extent, God don't pour manna from heaven this days as was reported in the Bible (don't know if this is even true), get married and sit at home waiting for favor from the Lord and see if you didn't die of hunger within days.

Most painful part is that, you may end up suffering for another person children ignorantly, HOW?

Let me give an example, I went to one politician for help and this man told me to back later, he later sent someone to call my wife and start telling her to sleep with him (heavy pregnant woman o) before he can help. I was lucky that my wife told me about it with proof of what the man was doing, that was the day I stopped calling him. Now, what if she agreed without telling me and continued after she birth?

Guys, hustle and settle down first marriage and thank me later.

Lastly, all this girls will keep telling you that I will manage, I will manage, but if they finally come and stay with you, they will not manage again. Infact, that is how some women have finally taken over their houses and start maltreating the husbands for been weak.

In a nutshell, I'm of the opinion that a guy should hustle and have money, hustle hard again and have more money before he can start thinking of marriage.

Udoji, if it did not work for you does not mean it will not work for anybody. I believe marriage comes with some kind of favour from God, perhaps u just have some sort of agreement with poverty.
If u have a hand work/trade, or something profitable doing you do not need to beg a politician to feed. Get your hands busy and see God prosper those hands.
Cheers!!!
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by Nobody: 9:25pm On Aug 16, 2021
nezer83:


Udoji, if it did not work for you does not mean it will not work for anybody. I believe marriage comes with some kind of favour from God, perhaps u just have some sort of agreement with poverty.
If u have a hand work/trade, or something profitable doing you do not need to beg a politician to feed. Get your hands busy and see God prosper those hands.
Cheers!!!

Motivational speakers everywhere!

Can you help me with something to be doing? I'm not against marriage between poor people. I'm only against you lots that are encouraging such practice
Re: Why Getting Married When You Are Struggling Financially Is A Bad Decision! by babyfaceafrica: 9:43pm On Aug 16, 2021
nezer83:


Udoji, if it did not work for you does not mean it will not work for anybody. I believe marriage comes with some kind of favour from God, perhaps u just have some sort of agreement with poverty.
If u have a hand work/trade, or something profitable doing you do not need to beg a politician to feed. Get your hands busy and see God prosper those hands.
Cheers!!!
You guys should stop this... You have put many guys into problems

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