₦airaland Forum

Romanoff:
She used a mortgage facility for the house. Bought the car by cash.

Your stories didn't add up. For her to buy a car by cash and build a house by mortgage , means she has what is worth the value of the house and that means she is rich. Why can't she establish little business for the husband instead of demeaning things he is doing at home? A reasonable and God faring woman will not allow her husband's condition to degenerate to that level let alone allowing him to be doing house chores for her. She would rather employ a housemaid and be paying her 7k salary.

Romanoff:
Me I don't see any problem in this o.

Na only one bill she dey pay, yet she wan turn terrorists for your head. You sef, always remind her how expensive DSTV and foodstuff costs as often as you can.

You can add the rising cost of rent too.

Treat people how they treat you and watch them adjust.

Just cause your own wife is like that doesn't mean all women are that way.

I know women who are bread winners and you'd never know, even n their house.

One just bought car and house that her family just moved into. Na her husband dey drive the car.

So don't conclude all women who are bread winners are like that.

I concur that some few women are not like that. They are really nice to a fault. But do they grumble unuttered-without words to themselves. This is where the challenge may come from as we men don't complain on things getting more expensive. We only realize it's time to work harder to afford the rising cost and stay afloat or still save. It's important that a woman not count what she's doing to build her home for God blessing her as the men don't complain of spending a lot to keep the family happy even to themselves.

JovialJune:
Lol, jobless married men should be useful in the house by doing the chores, cooking, and taking care of the kids, believe me, no woman will insult or demean a man like that, instead, she will make it her life's goal to get him back on his feet again. A man cannot be useless at home and useless in providing leaving everything for the breadwinner to do, then expect respect and cuddling, mbanu, it doesnt work like that, you guys should stop the whining, make yourself useful at home.

As for what your wife did abi is doing, carry your cross like that, rebuke her, or ignore her, you knew who she was before you married her.

You aren't different from the man's wife. Your words say it clearly. You could even be worse. A man cannot be useless at home and useless in providing. If a man uses same words on his housewive for not doing home chores, would you be okay with that. That's gross disrespect.

smasher1:
I concur that some few women are not like that. They are really nice to a fault. But do they grumble unuttered-without words to themselves. This is where the challenge may come from as we men don't complain on things getting more expensive. We only realize it's time to work harder to afford the rising cost and stay afloat or still save. It's important that a woman not count what she's doing to build her home for God blessing her as the men don't complain of spending a lot to keep the family happy even to themselves.

All you need for a mortgage is 10% equity.

elonmuskbaby:
Hmnn

I think this issue is lack of communication

Communicate your feelings and expectations to her

Communicating is critical, very important. But that's who the woman is. It would take a more matured woman who the lady may see as a friend and complain to, to correct this silly behavior from her. The husband may try it. But the result can't be predicted with accuracy.

spice123:
My brother, I was out of job for like 6 months and wife took care of all the bills excluding rent and school fees and nobody noticed or knew I was out of job. No negative attitude showed up and I will tell you why. A close friend gave me this advice and I will share same with you. When you get your salary or business profit, remove your t-fare/car fuel and give the rest to your wife to manage the home. I was very hard for me to do but t I summoned courage and since 3+ years I started it, I have complete peace. Infact, my wife was praising me on how I was able to pay all bills and manage funds. By the time your wife will mismange the home funds (feeding, rent, kids sch fees e.t.c) she will wake up and realize that paying for gas in the home is the least issue. You will have utmost respect bro. I have been married for 7 years now.

It's still annoying to me to realize that the expense in question is likely below 10k a month. Gas getting more expensive everyday is the least issue as we all know everything is rising daily.

Romanoff:
What is wrong with the arrangement?

Isn't that balanced enough?

Or the man should cross his leg and wait for the person that worked from morning to night to come and cook?

They've been married for 5 years now.

That's the mentality of some stupid men and unfortunately they actually do that. A woman goes out and works in traffic and they refuse to contribute to the house claiming its a taboo to enter the kitchen. I know some men that don't eat food put in deep freezer or lift a broom because ethey are men. Its a shame that we pass that to the male kids and the ugly cycle continues.

Marriage is a partnership. Any man or woman that cannot cover the gap for the other person is either together for togetherness sake or will soon break up. Something will definitely give.

Davash222:
May God have mercy on His people.

E no go better for poverty!

While that is the case, the most important thing a man needs from his wife, respect, has reduced without words said.

May God give us the serenity and maturity to handle our woman. God please give us a good woman to marry, not witches

reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride.

I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.

My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come with every meal?

How do unemployed/underemployed men cope?

What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

My dear
Any man that leave his responsibility of taking care of his house to his wife , has no say period.
If you are the one taking care of all bills in your house and your wife pays only for gas, well if that's ok by you go on
But if you are staying in a rented apartment, and you want to grow faster, share shed some responsibilities and let your wife handle them
In my case I let her pay for the govt, groceries and toiletries. While car ,gen NEPA, house hold maintanace and repairs are done by me
We share the house rent too but I take the lion share , so I can focus on our own site. And it's works well for me.

reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride.

I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.

My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come with every meal?

How do unemployed/underemployed men cope?

What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

You married a woman with a wrong mind set. Alot of women carry the home front for years without a word some of us despite not married has done more than the parents of our ex has done asides giving birth to him yet we still begged to be loved. This exactly what happens when a lady thinks she's doing you a favour by marrying you.

spice123:
My brother, I was out of job for like 6 months and wife took care of all the bills excluding rent and school fees and nobody noticed or knew I was out of job. No negative attitude showed up and I will tell you why. A close friend gave me this advice and I will share same with you. When you get your salary or business profit, remove your t-fare/car fuel and give the rest to your wife to manage the home. I was very hard for me to do but t I summoned courage and since 3+ years I started it, I have complete peace. Infact, my wife was praising me on how I was able to pay all bills and manage funds. By the time your wife will mismange the home funds (feeding, rent, kids sch fees e.t.c) she will wake up and realize that paying for gas in the home is the least issue. You will have utmost respect bro. I have been married for 7 years now.

Does this mean she gets to takes care of the rent from the money u give her? So she gets to deliver at the end?

AmazonTopaz:
It isn't attached to poverty there are men with good jobs who do this.

Nothing stops a man from helping out in the home and making time for his family.That is a wise and honourable man.

Thank u for this.

He who pays the piper dictates d tune!!!..one thing I noticed about women is thier hatred towards men..I can bet u that 98% of d so called love stories, relationships and marriages that are strong and intact is because the man provides virtually everything most especially finance..its very easy to detect a family that is financially dependent on a woman however ur prayer should be ...'dear Lord please don't let my pocket run dry, secure my job please and never allow me to be in a situation where I have to be dependent on anybody especially my wife/gf..amen'

Obirin ma n siregun gan there are a lot of things they don't know that they need to know speak out your mind to her let her know how you feel after she said that word and don't forget to ask her maybe is because she's the one that use her money to buy it that that is the reason she complain alot whenever you want to use it (jokenly).

Oga you know her before you marry her, these signs dey there but you refuse to see the signs because some of us men dey mumu too much when we see a fine woman. There re many women out there who support their men but nobody go know. So no include all women for this matter.. this na your personal problem

Romanoff:
Me I don't see any problem in this o.

Na only one bill she dey pay, yet she wan turn terrorists for your head. You sef, always remind her how expensive DSTV and foodstuff costs as often as you can.

You can add the rising cost of rent too.

Treat people how they treat you and watch them adjust.

Just cause your own wife is like that doesn't mean all women are that way.

I know women who are bread winners and you'd never know, even n their house.

One just bought car and house that her family just moved into. Na her husband dey drive the car.

So don't conclude all women who are bread winners are like that.

Omalicha, my type of woman.

JovialJune:
You see, this is how a balanced healthy family life should be, where both couples join heads to make it work no matter the setback any is facing at a period of time, I tell people that the marriage problem and high rate of divorce we see today is cos one is lording himself/herself over the other, when couples see each other as equal partners, everything will fall in place, even the bible says "two become one" as in same in body and everything.

Nop ma.
There must be a captain in a ship.
The man shld be the president, his wife vice pls.

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chatinent:


This scenario reminds me of Jude and Eniola Badmus that was always cartoonized on The Sun Newspaper.

That means if she were the one providing the meals, ọ ga -esiri gị ike ga ahu banana nke a rapuru fo.

Mehn..

Nothing dey vex me pass references to every little efforts you make forgetting my daily stabs to make you happy.

Most women cannot be men even for a day.

Only one evening my cousin sister took me out, I never even remove my shoe naim I read her status: “I like the woman I am becoming. Always learn to man your womanhood.”

The only thing most women tend to appreciate is credit alerts..or send your account number. They will become so emotional..they can even cry.

Let the case be the reverse.

Make she just take care of you for two days.

You go hear weeen. She go even remind you how she carry you for stomach for nine months.

“Richie, what is this na, can't I have peace after coming back from work again? How can you eat and cannot wash your plates again! What's this na!”

“Baby, why are you shouting? The neighbours are at...”

“Don't baby me. What have I not done to make you happy? Will I kill myself? Am I the only married woman in the world..what is this na.”

(You try to hold her hands to calm her down...she slaps you damn hard).

“(She is crying now..tears flowly freely). Just see what you made me do. Just see it. Everything is just wrong with this world.”

You mah wey dem slap go still go meet am for parlour where she dey cry dey pet am (and that is after checking your cheeks if blood dey comot). You go come humbly tell am say no bi you eat, say na the one she eat for morning..but anyways, you forgot to wash it.

Another matter don dey brew.

She will now come to the parlour and sit, ask you for the remote and change the football to Telemundo and mutter these words you'll never hear: “work e won't work, such a failure. It's only remote e can pass.”

You will try to look at her with your side eyes but meet her full eyes staring at you in disgust. Mumu you go come smile enter bedroom.

As you are walking into the bedroom, the volume of the muttering is increasing but it's still inaudible.

In the oza room, just respect yourself. Don't even dare..unless you want the whole world to know how you will be idle and want to kill sb’s daughter after working all day!

“oh, it's your plan, Richie, baa? To kill me so that you can now go and meet Ishilove, baa?”


Only you go dey like Stone Cold Steve Austin sleep.


It will be normal...the “honey, darling etc.” is going to die. You will be called your name...two seconds, she will stop calling your name and just be giving out orders.

Abeg, don't even remind her you are the husband. You will get the insult of your life. She will say “no, say it loud na, let mama Chisom hear you. How many husbands stay at home watching football and their wives are left to do all the work!”


But na you still dey pay rent, buy foodstuff, and children fees.

Baba, kuku collect that responsiblity back. I hate to talk much. No dare shift any of your responsibility to woman...even if she persists to want to help. E kuku better she dey do am willingly than you register her name on it.

Only women, babies, and pets are loved. Men are respected when they man up. Na the respect we dey translate to love.

This reminds me of my present predicament.

I swear,never be too kind to any woman,even if she is your mother.
The only female a man should do everything to love amd to protect is your daughter(ti ko ba ti ja ifun iya e je).
I really doubt if I can ever love a woman again.
My life and heart are shattered for my kindness and being too good to women i.e. mother,wife,sis and MIL.

Mother sits on the house in 9ja.
Wife sits on the one in Europe.

I am myself homeless,living with 7 very dirty guys around while I have my houses completely paid for by myself with no single help from anyone.

Be careful what you do with any woman including your own mother.

They are mostly evil.

I don't fear women,I dread them.

I know good women may exist but never see one.
Not even mothers to their sons.
Imagine a mother is saying that "all men are the same" and "men are scums".
Just imagine.
Can a guy with that kind if experience think or believe that good women exist?

Romanoff:
Me I don't see any problem in this o.

Na only one bill she dey pay, yet she wan turn terrorists for your head. You sef, always remind her how expensive DSTV and foodstuff costs as often as you can.

You can add the rising cost of rent too.

Treat people how they treat you and watch them adjust.

Just cause your own wife is like that doesn't mean all women are that way.

I know women who are bread winners and you'd never know, even n their house.

One just bought car and house that her family just moved into. Na her husband dey drive the car.

So don't conclude all women who are bread winners are like that.

reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride.

I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.

My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come with every meal?

How do unemployed/underemployed men cope?

What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

That's a red flag there, pray that you don't lose your job , else your wife will add to your depression. If you have a good woman, outsider won't know that she's the breadwinner cos they ll cover your unclothedness and don't remind you of your weaknesses

Many women lack common sense even if you try to talk with them.
The only thing they want is credit alert.

elonmuskbaby:
Hmnn

I think this issue is lack of communication

Communicate your feelings and expectations to her

My mother never respected my late brothers because
they depended on her.Meanwhile she is the very cause of their lives predicaments.
I tried my best to fix that family until I was winched and I had to run away and cut all possible contacts.

MufasaLion:
Being dependent on a woman (especially a wife) is the most embarrassing and degrading thing ever that could happen to a man.

I think it's lack of communication, for instance, Me and my wife runs things together, she has a business, she's doing really good and I have my own business too, I'm doing super okay, so we do things together

98percent of women are like that.funniest thing is that they forget sacrifices you make,if dem manage do small thing for you,any small issue dem go dey shout say u dey ungrateful

JovialJune:
Lol, jobless married men should be useful in the house by doing the chores, cooking, and taking care of the kids, believe me, no woman will insult or demean a man like that, instead, she will make it her life's goal to get him back on his feet again. A man cannot be useless at home and useless in providing leaving everything for the breadwinner to do, then expect respect and cuddling, mbanu, it doesnt work like that, you guys should stop the whining, make yourself useful at home.

As for what your wife did abi is doing, carry your cross like that, rebuke her, or ignore her, you knew who she was before you married her.

Wrong

Romanoff:
What is wrong with the arrangement?

Isn't that balanced enough?

Or the man should cross his leg and wait for the person that worked from morning to night to come and cook?

They've been married for 5 years now.

Your husband is in soup.

reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride.

I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.

My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come with every meal?

How do unemployed/underemployed men cope?

What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

This is not about her paying that bill. That careless talk is from another source. Did she offer to pay the bills in the 1st place or did you ask her to? What are your spending habits ? When last did you buy her a gift? So many questions I can ask but clearly she is not happy about something

nuamike:
Your husband is in soup.

Nah, your wife is miserable.

spice123:
My brother, I was out of job for like 6 months and wife took care of all the bills excluding rent and school fees and nobody noticed or knew I was out of job. No negative attitude showed up and I will tell you why. A close friend gave me this advice and I will share same with you. When you get your salary or business profit, remove your t-fare/car fuel and give the rest to your wife to manage the home. I was very hard for me to do but t I summoned courage and since 3+ years I started it, I have complete peace. Infact, my wife was praising me on how I was able to pay all bills and manage funds. By the time your wife will mismange the home funds (feeding, rent, kids sch fees e.t.c) she will wake up and realize that paying for gas in the home is the least issue. You will have utmost respect bro. I have been married for 7 years now.

don't even remove anything, just handle everything to her. Yeye

It takes the Grace of GOD
Signed your #1 #plug for #original #backwoods in #naija