₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
ROFLMAO


No two marriages are meant to be alike or the same. You and your partner are instead meant to design your life and future together based on what works for you.

Hmm, well said..... Thanks

spice123:
Part of my pension helped renew my rent when I lost my job during the pandemic. 25% of my total pension was handed to me. I use IBTC pension fund. You can make your research.

Haba, using part of pension to pay for rent? It shows you don't have enough emergency reserve, a minimum of 10% of what you earn is to be invested in income generating and capital appreciating asset throughout your worklife apart from the retirement savings plan of your employer, financially intelligent people have personal retirement plans.

Rubbiish:
Please how does this stanbic pension fund works? How reliable are they? How much do u pay monthly & is there a stipulated amount? Trying to research on it now, but hearing from an experienced mouth won't be a bad idea. Thanks.

Your employer deducts 7.5% of your salary, the employer adds another 7.5% making a total of 15%. The money will be invested throughout the worklife of the employee. You will get your monthly statement via your phone.

Funds in the Retirement Savings Account of most workers is their biggest assets

ImaIma1:
This must be sarcasm

Not really

emmanuelewumi:
Your employer deducts 7.5% of your salary, the employer adds another 7.5% making a total of 15%. The money will be invested throughout the worklife of the employee. You will get your monthly statement via your phone.

Funds in the Retirement Savings Account of most workers is their biggest assets

Thanks for the explanation sir

alexola20:
My mother never respected my late brothers because
they depended on her.Meanwhile she is the very cause of their lives predicaments.
I tried my best to fix that family until I was winched and I had to run away and cut all possible contacts.

That's sad, bro!

Mac2016:
7years is just a fresh start jare. That his method is catastrophic. The safety net for the home is gone. So when there is a need to salvage financial situation he would be unprepared and be putting forward meagre tfare or what. What if the kid gets injured and the wife had used all money for upkeep. The father would be saying ehn ehn..
I just pray he doesn't enter emergency zone else he will be in soup. He doesn't even have any reserve just in case as safety or buffer for the family. He's just saying nonsense.

bepositive11:
I honestly don't have respect for men who depend on their wives for money, but if his wife is earning more, I don't see that as a problem as long as he's not financially dependent on her and he's helping his woman with house chores if they don't have a house help

Men need to understand that their value goes beyond how much they earn. A man who is supportive, reliable, responsible, present, knowledgeable, wise, good at giving advice, good at making judgements, good at being a father, and the list goes on. All these things will make a woman cherish and respect you regardless of whether you earn more or less than her, but a man's huge ego can prevent him from being all these things

Apt!

NwaAmaikpe:




I may be wrong but I personally believe that the easiest and most therapeutic way to cope as a man if your wife is the breadwinner of the home is by making "Cuckold" your favourite porn genre.

It makes you realize that so many men go through worse and they were able to transform the negativity into a great source of personal pleasure.
If you can't stand it, then be better.

Except you are terminally ill or medically incapacitated, allowing your wife become the breadwinner is worse than Esau gifting his birthright to Jacob.

You'd lose all your dominance, influence, and respect. It won't be long before she starts sending you on errands to buy condoms for her to take to work.

Over to Lala and the other elders.

You are not a good man ��

Oga buy an extra gas cylinder , always refill before it finishes , if she ask you ,tell her you are trying to avoid unnecessary insults from her , she will get the message .

bukatyne:
Interesting.

I believe you are male and subscribe to the traditional model of husband provide & wife chores.

Can you as a husband continue to provide fully and do most/all of the chores while your wife is at home?

I want a yes or no?

YES

I derive joy helping out, laundry, sweeping, mopping, dishes and i do it with my heart happily.

JESHAL:
Madame go over my comments with Romanoff, I specifically said the man should never be idle, he's a man, a man must work, I don't care how little he makes until he gets back on his feet, the same Bible teaches us a lazy man should eat, let's not play games, proverbs 31 has set the standards for a virtuous woman, God's wisdom that supercedes every man made ideology like Feminism,read and digest it that chapter very well, your role is codified there

So before he gets the job what happens? He should just wake up and be roaming the streets for menial jobs to do. If a man was a manger of operations in an org and he loses his jobs, he should go and carry kpon kpon or do anything just so that he doesn't stay at home while his wife is working. So that he doesn't have to help out with chores.

I am a realistic person and not someone imagining an ideal situation. A man searching for another job is not a lazy man.

I'm not playing games and neither am I talking feminism. I'm talking about a real life situation where husband loses job while wife is still working. He can accept her money for the running of the house but cannot help out. That's hypocrisy and wickedness.

I Peter 3:7, the Bible says the husband should love the wife with consideration...but many of you lack that consideration but are stuck on roles. 1Corin 13 makes us understand about the kind of love God expects us to have...it's not proud, and it is kind.

ImaIma1:
So before he gets the job what happens? He should just wake up and be roaming the streets for menial jobs to do. If a man was a manger of operations in an org and he loses his jobs, he should go and carry kpon kpon or do anything just so that he doesn't stay at home while his wife is working. So that he doesn't have to help out with chores.

I am a realistic person and not someone imagining an ideal situation. A man searching for another job is not a lazy man.

I'm not playing games and neither am I talking feminism. I'm talking about a real life situation where husband loses job while wife is still working. He can accept her money for the running of the house but cannot help out. That's hypocrisy and wickedness.

I Peter 3:7, the Bible says the husband should love the wife with consideration...but many of you lack that consideration but are stuck on roles. 1Corin 13 makes us understand about the kind of love God expects us to have...it's not proud, and it is kind.

Read the chapters of prov31, she was very economically bouyant even bringing mechandize and still doing her wifely duties regardless of her husband status, she plays a supportive role as he's on his mission, I don't know why you want to accept Feminism theory of equality in marriage where you reverse gender roles and create excuse for it then reframe it as love, just because you think you can be like men, very sad mordern women buy into Feminism dogma even in the church, no wonder America that was a very Christian society is now atheistic and liberal far away from the almighty because women don't want to follow simple instructions from the wisdom of God in proverbs

Read proverbs 31 again if you haven't do it

JESHAL:
Read the chapters of prov31, she was very economically bouyant even bringing mechandize and still doing her wifely duties regardless of her husband status, she plays a supportive role as he's on his mission, I don't know why you want to accept Feminism theory of equality in marriage where you reverse gender roles and create excuse for it then reframe it as love, just because you think you can be like men, very sad mordern women buy into Feminism dogma even in the church, no wonder America that was a very Christian society is now atheistic and liberal far away from the almighty because women don't want to follow simple instructions from the wisdom of God in proverbs

Read proverbs 31 again if you haven't do it

Read Ephesians 5, 1Peter 3 and 1Corin 13. Proverbs 31 is not the only Bible passage that exists.

Feminism is not my business. When you are actually married and you have a wife that you love, your tight mindset will be loosened. This is not feminism or any theory but real life situation.

Not everything is about feminism. Stop getting stuck and fixated on it.

JovialJune:
You see, this is how a balanced healthy family life should be, where both couples join heads to make it work no matter the setback any is facing at a period of time, I tell people that the marriage problem and high rate of divorce we see today is cos one is lording himself/herself over the other, when couples see each other as equal partners, everything will fall in place, even the bible says "two become one" as in same in body and everything.

men and women are not equal partners
This is where the problem is

AmazonTopaz:
It isn't attached to poverty there are men with good jobs who do this.

Nothing stops a man from helping out in the home and making time for his family.That is a wise and honourable man.

that is a cuckold

AmazonTopaz:
I thought in marriage two shall become one and both of them become inter dependent on each other.

A man who is for the time being not well to do should swallow whatever pride he has and get something doing even if it is at the home front,some men have no idea how helping their wives with chores at home makes them happy and joyful instead of being idle and having unnecessary pride it will be good for the husband to help out at home and spend more bonding time with the kids.

Nothing makes women happy or joyful besides serving a man

How a man can be jobless and still expect his working wife to still be attending to all the chores at home is beyond me.Help out and relieve your wife of stress if your wife runs a business you can also help her and won't even remember that you are jobless

Romanoff:
What is wrong with the arrangement?

Isn't that balanced enough?

Or the man should cross his leg and wait for the person that worked from morning to night to come and cook?

They've been married for 5 years now.

Wait for the other shoe to drop

ImaIma1:
Read Ephesians 5, 1Peter 3 and 1Corin 13. Proverbs 31 is not the only Bible passage that exists.

Feminism is not my business. When you are actually married and you have a wife that you love, your tight mindset will be loosened. This is not feminism or any theory but real life situation.

Not everything is about feminism. Stop getting stuck and fixated on it.

Reversing gender roles is not scriptural, and you can never misinterprete the context of love to push a misleading narrative, societies that men tried these woman lead and provide, men nurture, have their marriages fail miserable in Western countries, I have statistics that shows what you instigate is not sustainable in the long run, even if the man is a home keeper it must be temporary, then things should return back to the default state for him to have a reasonable marriage

georgeakins:
Not really

Oh I see

AmazonTopaz:
It is better for every adult to be financially stable but then the economy is something else it is good for women to be financially stable too so as to avoid future insults and abuse from men there is this joy everyone feels when they can be financially responsible for themselves and pay bills but then again the economy doesn't make our ideals always come true so if married couples should try to pull resources together and be interdependent on one another so as for one spouse of things are not going according to plan can fall on the other spouse for backup there should be financial transparency that is why I have problem with some men who don't like taking their wives along in decision making and financial matters if anything happens tomorrow where will he fall back on.

it has ended with 80% divorce rate in the abroad

No alimony here o

A word is enough for the wise

MIKOLOWISKA:
it has ended with 80% divorce rate in the abroad

No alimony here o

A word is enough for the wise

Actually 50% divorce rates and 70-80% initiated by women

JESHAL:
Reversing gender roles is not scriptural, and you can never misinterprete the context of love to push a misleading narrative, societies that men tried these woman lead and provide, men nurture, have their marriages fail miserable in Western countries, I have statistics that shows what you instigate is not sustainable in the long run, even if the man is a home keeper it must be temporary, then things should return back to the default state for him to have a reasonable marriage

When you and your wife are home, is it you or your wife that puts on the generator when the light goes off?

Who changes the light bulbs in the house?

If there's no water for some reason, who would take the kegs out to fetch water?

Have you ever bath your children before or dressed them up?

Please answer these questions sincerely.

Romanoff:
That's why a lot have their manhood tied to their pockets. The moment they don't have money, small talk wey their wife go talk, they will conclude it's because they are broke.

But she no talk all this wan wen him de pay bills?

If your wife only submits to you cause you're older than her or cause you're the bread winner, that is not a marriage but a master and slave relationship.

Gold digger or employer employee relationship

When the tide turns, that woman will treat you the exact way you treated her.

she better pray the tied doesn't turn again

ImaIma1:
When you and your wife are home, is it you or your wife that puts on the generator when the light goes off?

Who changes the light bulbs in the house?

If there's no water for some reason, who would take the kegs out to fetch water?

Have you ever bath your children before or dressed them up?

Please answer these questions sincerely.

I'm not married, but in my father's marriage it's the woman that coordinate the children to do domestic chores or she does it herself,, I have never seen my father cook but he bathed me when I was small for a small period of time compared to my mum, my father is always busy working to take care of his household, me and my bro put on the generator, my mum did it when I was younger because my Dad is always traveling he's not around and I respect that, when he creates time for us it's like gold

AmazonTopaz:
That is why they feel empty when they are broke.Many of them lack basic human skills, attitudes and virtues on how to keep a relationship or marriage to them it is just money other men who know better and whose worth ain't tied to money alone tend to do better and are treated better when they are down because of the way they chose to relate with their wives.

Yet the women married them
Joker

Imagine one just telling us the man is the head of the home so what does it mean he should misbehave and not respect or treat his partner right.These men sometimes have a warped mindset on a lot of issues Nigerian women have tried oo

just wait till the man get him groove back. I pity your husband if he ever broke

Romanoff:
The moment I realized that many of them have their manhood tied to their pockets, it made me see the need to hustle very well.

Na money some dey take buy submission. Without it, they don't think a woman can submit to them.

Really sad.

80% of your American counterparts are single moms now with this mentality

Romanoff:
Your stats are very inaccurate and working with an NGO doesn't make it credible.

I know many people whose mum were the bread winners, either due to a deadbeat dad or dad not having as much as mum.

And I still see it everyday.

Where there's a problem is when you want the woman who is the bread winner to come back home and do chores while you lounge in the house and be the "man" of the house.

If the woman was single or the man crippled, would she not do those chores?

Romanoff:
So in this our bad economy where many are losing jobs. If your wife earns four times more than you earned while working, and you lose your job, how will you restore balance in your home without killing the woman with stress?

Or how do you restore balance in your home?

Will you sit at home and wait for her to come and cook or will you pawn the child raising responsibilities on someone else.

Or will you pressure her to resign so both of you can be jobless and you can maintain your "manship" on the home?

Please, tell us how you hope to make things work in this situation.

simply don't marry such a woman till you outearn her

Romanoff:
While he looks for the job and the woman still works, how will she able to maintain her traditional role? And what will the man be doing pending when he gets the job?

The same woman who wakes up to go to work, comes back in the evening and is expected to cook and help the kids with assignment when her partner was home and had time to do it?

If a man has any love for his wife, he will not sit around all day applying for jobs online and leaving the chores for her to come back and do just cause it's "her Traditional role".

if he is doing chores when will he look for work?

JESHAL:
I'm not married, but in my father's marriage it's the woman that coordinate the children to do domestic chores or she does it herself,, I have never seen my father cook but he bathed me when I was small for a small period of time compared to my mum, my father is always busy working to take care of his household, me and my bro put on the generator, my mum did it when I was younger because my Dad is always traveling he's not around and I respect that, when he creates time for us it's like gold

So you know better than those who are married based on your parent's marriage? I knew you were talking hypothetically. Because a married man will be wiser and more mature in his utterances.

Before you guys were grown to help your mum out, who did those things?

So as my husband and I are in a young marriage with a 3year old and no househelp or any help whatsoever, who do you think will put on the generator? Who is stronger?

Am I the one to climb stools to change light bulbs especially if I were pregnant. If I were to fall and lose the baby, my husband will say it is a woman's role abi.

You can't be single, without any form of marriage experience and be making categorical statements. Please be guided.

Romanoff:
Now,your first statement is so untrue.

There are many women who marry beneath what many will call their standards. It's mostly smart women who do this, cause they see qualities in the man that they really cherish more than vanity.

If he had qualities
He is not beneath her

Some sef, people go dey ask them "wetin you see for this guy body"?

I don't believe their sex life suffers anything. Make I no just talk too far about this sex matter for these kind couples.

Well as per religious women, like I said, the couple I cited on page 1 are a Christian couple and most of the ones I know are.

But I'd like to believe their religion doesn't have anything to do with it.

Religion has everything to do with it

For better or worse is religion