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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage (52038 Views)
My Uncle Has Decided To End His Marriage Of 30 Years / Man To End Marriage Of 16 Years With His Wife After Discovering Her Real Age / After 15yrs, I'm Still Haunted, Help!!!! (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Ademolu2002(m): 6:22pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
[quote author=neonly post=106214002]Am not good writer please trying to make it short Everything just falling apart in my house Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you Where did I get it wrong sef We use to be good friends before church matter enter Now she does nothing in the house I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones All she is interested now is her own career What my fate when I grow old Is this not a red flag for me What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on But my children what will be their fate Have you taken your time to report the matter to her family |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by neonly: 6:27pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
BigBashiru: Nope then were staying in mini flat things were not like dis just say started work and church she got out of control |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by BigBashiru: 6:30pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
neonly: has it ever occurred to you that maybe she is actually stressed from work and goes straight to shower and rest? or maybe she's fed up with the relationship/marriage? |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by digitalgeorgy(m): 6:31pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
ufotty2001: if my babe reads this, she will think I wrote it... this is exactly what I am experiencing. one day, I called her and told her "when was the last time you asked me 'have you eaten'?" she shock. I still don't think she changed after we talked about it. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by solidmyk(m): 6:31pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
PeaceJoyLove:This one correct for head ba? 1 Like |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Nobody: 6:32pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
Prettychild:I have told you she can cheat. No man ever stops a cheat. No woman ever does that too. However, if she wants to do that she can do that from her FATHER'S APARTMENT and not mine. She will have to leave my house first, so as to have unrestricted & uninterrupted access to diccks & ccocks 1 Like 2 Shares |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by generalwo(m): 6:34pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
neonly:.... Your marriage is 15 years... No be joke bros.... My stupid advice is.... Invite her folks or family members to talk to her..... If she doesn't change after that, invite her pastor to talk to her.... If she doesn't change.... Invite your own folks to talk to her... If she doesn't change..... You talk to her yourself.... If she still doesn't change, then nothing else can be done....... Maybe it's time to quit if you Wanna live long for your kids.... A broken home is much better than being in the grave with a broken spirit..... I no support divorce any day but if all avenue to make her see reasons is not coming out good...then maybe it's time to say good bye....... Like I said... It's a stupid advice... You're not under any obligation to heed to it |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Prettychild(f): 6:36pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
MALIGNANTGuest:Lol! Saying the same thing over and over again. You can’t stand your wife cheating on you period and not all these play on words you are doing 1 Like |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by TalkingBird: 6:37pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
Read and try practical lessons in https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/family/ |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by grandlexuz(m): 6:38pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: I have read a few of your posts on nairaland and do enjoy how insightful you are on a bunch of things. However I totally disagree at bolded. That society in general expects the man to toast the woman, propose, pay the bride price in our African context means the union the forging has roles. I don't know about Nigeria but in Cameroon roles are spelt out at the civil registry. If a lady created a topic on nairaland with claims of paying the rents and feeding her home for two years while the husband occupies with work and church, bringing nothing home from his job you definitely will tag him as failing in his role. I was married for over a decade and 60% of the time I ran market duties and laundry for the home. I did out of love to lessen the strain and burden at the time. I am certain at your home if you had friends coming over your wife will do the cooking. That's a role. I am sure monthly food planning at home is done by your wife too. That's a role. As per the OP I see everything wrong when he returns from work to market, cook and do laundry while his wife leaves from work to church with earnings that do nothing to folster the wellfare of her home. I accept with you on the need for professional counselling and dialogue to save his marriage but that too is because the wife is lacking in her role to build her home. 2 Likes |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by neonly: 6:38pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
BigBashiru: My own room and hers share d same bathroom If she had a stressful day nothing wrong in telling yur partner dat yur day was stressful Me I just think she just playing) with my emotion knowing fully well dat no matter what happen my brothers will always talk to me to settled issues This our we been living for d past ten years yes ten years Just keep enduring and hoping dat she will change but now I just reach my breaking point honestly |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by SocialJustice: 6:40pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
neonly:Get a maid or a live in relative to help with chores. I see nothing wrong in a woman wanting more from her career, she didn't come to this life to only marry and have kids. |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by SweetyZinta(f): 6:41pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
Kestolove: Very true!! |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Timoleon(m): 6:43pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
abbaashiru:Don’t give into false nostalgia, you are better off not getting married. Oprah Winfrey has ‘helped’ a lot of deal with their marriages but guess what, she never married, never had children. By most standards, she’s fulfilled, she’s an icon, a model to the world. If you are not convinced about getting married, don’t do it. |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by neonly: 6:44pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
generalwo: Thks no advice is stupid we are all learning still will die bros but if u can read all d post yur see that all d avenue u mention I used them all without solutions |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by streetsoldier1(m): 6:46pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
ufotty2001: what are you still waiting for |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by neonly: 6:46pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
SweetyZinta:Not that easy bro's not when children and der emotions are involved |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by gracecheller: 6:48pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
neonly: Pls do.... For your children also |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by cassyrooy(m): 6:49pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Nobody: 6:49pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: Sorry to say this but you're damn stupid. 3 Likes |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by BigBashiru: 6:51pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
neonly: then maybe she doesnt really want you and has met a new guy unknown to you? 1 Like |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Ebullient76(m): 6:54pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
Do your best. Let what you can't do prevent you from doing what you can. Life is full of ups and downs. Also, be fervent to God as He's the mighty man in battle |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by ultimateprof: 6:59pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
What is your assurance that if you divorce her that things is going to be alright? In order to avoid things like, don't marry. Marriage no be for people that know how to claim right. |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by OlawaleBammie: 7:02pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
MALIGNANTGuest: Guy God bless u, see eehn, if u grow old and die ur room for heaven go be like a banquet Hall. Ur father must be a brainy giant. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by generalwo(m): 7:08pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
neonly:.... Then sadly speaking senior bros, maybe it's time to let go for the sake of your kids.... It's better for kids to grow up in a broken home than for them to grow up seeing their parents constantly unhappy..... Since all avenues to make her see reasons have failed then maybe it's time to let go..... My baby's mum was just like that... We were not married though but since I had a good job and she got pregnant, I felt we could have the baby and get married later (which would have been the greatest mistake ever)...... Initially all was fine and rosy but some red flags came up wen she got pregnant..... She stopped doing stuff at home... Became seriously materialistic..... Drove me to multiple debts and depression... Denies me sex and most of all.... Disrespects me and my parents..... For Both of us to live long, we had to go our separate ways.... Now we have a good relationship... I take care oof my daughter and me and the mother are just like normal friends...... Both of you deserve peace and happiness..... No let any woman drive you to depression.......... I wish you all the best sir... For the sake of your kids.... 4 Likes |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by EJEHSON(m): 7:21pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
[I started reading your write-up but I didn't go far before concluding you are not normal.quote author=Kobojunkie post=106218202] So, you want to ruin your 15-year old marriage for the sake of your ego? ■ You go to market ■ Cook ■ clean the house ■ wash the children uniform .... So you do these things in your own home and you expect what, a medal? The person that used to do them before, I am guessing your wife, she no be human being like you? So your wife is interested in her career, and you are what? Against your "friend" doing well in her career or what? And let me guess, communication has degraded between you two and probably between your egos are butting heads at this point and rather than working on that, you are instead thinking of ways to end your relationship? Look, no two marriages are created the same and no two individuals in a marriage are exact copies of themselves. You and your wife are meant to design your own marriage in a way that works for you, not go around comparing yourselves to others out there. Die to your ego if you must and learn to grow rather than destroy your marriage over petty things such as what you listed here. [/quote] 3 Likes |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by ArcFresky(m): 7:36pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
Kestolove: You want OP to jump from Frypan to fire |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by horgarzer(m): 7:44pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
ufotty2001:Quitt that shit |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Nobody: 7:44pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
Prettychild:She go end up for her papa house, and nothing she fit do 1 Like |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by Amanda4life: 7:47pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
Homeboiy: DO YOU THINK CHILDREN CHILDREN DONT KNOW WHO TAKES CARE OF THEM? HOW YOU TAKE CARE OF THEM IS HOW THEY WILL SEE YOU TOO, OR PAY BACK |
Re: Am About To End My 15yrs Marriage by AfroKnight: 7:50pm On Sep 27, 2021 |
neonly: I was waiting for this. I suspected she was the type who NEVER apologises. She thinks you need the marriage more than her. Bro. We are different people so you would endure this while I won’t. Once I notice you don’t apologise, I will walk away. Cos soon she would just make life difficult for me and leave me to carry the entire relationship on my shoulders alone. Everything would be my fault. And when I point out her own fault, she would take offence and try to spin it on me as well. That is dirty behaviour. The moment I see the signs, I move. Don’t kill yourself trying to love a woman who makes love look like backbreaking unrewarding hard work. As for your kids. They will be fine. They can see the toxicity and it is dangerous to raise kids in toxic homes. 5 Likes 1 Share |
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