₦airaland Forum

MyOleSolksjaer:
Dear All,

I need your candid advise on these matters that touch the heart. I got married last year to the mother of my beautiful daughter sometime in August last year during the COVID lock down. The marriage was against my wishes and due to parental pressure. Prior to marrying my wife, I was doing a good job by making sure I take good care of my daughter and the mom. My daughter just turned 2 in July and has already started going to school. My wife and I met online and started dating immediately after our first sexual encounter. Along the line she got pregnant and we started having misunderstandings. We both decided we will keep the baby because I made a vow with God not to abort any child with any woman I impregnate.

However, to cut the story short we both agreed we won't get married and her parents were cool with it as long as I take care of their daughter and my child. Then came COVID and during the events of the lockdown, I entered into a relationship with a Chemical Engineer that earns a 7 figure monthly salary. The relationship lasted for months but my mom never supported the relationship and did everything to make sure I break up with this lovely lady in a bid to marry my baby mama. I was against it knowing fully well that she is very quarrelsome and dramatic. I had inner peace with my lockdown girlfriend. Till now I still miss her and want to be with her despite being married to my wife who is always looking for ways to suspect me for one thing or the other. She has even threatened that if she catch me cheating, she will cheat back.

My marriage for the past 1 year has been full of problems, drama, and even attempted violence. My wife just graduated from Uni and is about to go in for her NYSC. I am even praying she gets posted out of Lagos preferably the North. This marriage has drained me of all my resources and has taken away a lot from me. My wife doesn't appreciate the good I do for her and my daughter. She is always quick to judge me and criticize for every small mistake I make. She nags all the time and always want to pick a fight for bullshit reasons. I don't find my wife attractive anymore and I have lost every desire to have sex with her from the first day we married in August last year.

She gets upset when female colleagues at work call me. I had considered resigning because we had an issue over my boss at work who always calls me for work related stuff. I am not on good terms with my mom because she engineered this marriage against my own wishes. My wife and I don't have a good relationship. It has gotten so bad that we don't sleep in the same room anymore. I had to leave the house for some time to stay in an accommodation provided by my work place so I can have inner peace and regain my sanity.

I am so pained because of my relationship that ended abruptly. I tried getting back with my Ex whom I still love but now she doesn't want to have anything to do with me despite how much I still love her. My question is, should I still try to win my ex over or find another woman? As for my marriage, I consider it dead and over. I don't care what my parents particularly my mom will do. I don't bleeping care anymore. All I want is my love to come back to my life and end this toxic marriage.

Youngpo413:
'7 figure monthly salary' so men dey gold dig too? Chai.

GoldenJAT:
Mothers too de follow cause marriage wahala sometimes!
It's quite a dicey situation,as it seems your mind is made up already.
As I will always say! Take your actions and take responsibility for it.

Administration1:
I cannot recall saying I had issues in my marriage though

BRATISLAVA:
He isn't looking for peace of mind. He's looking for a chemical engineer so that he can eat up her 7 figures with her. He knew he was in a lifetime relationship with his wife, but still went around looking another woman.

If he wanted peace of mind, he would stay where he is. Instead he's looking for how to cheat. How exactly is hurting his wife peace of mind?

Male sluttiness is one of a kind. Shameless golddiging. Is there something wrong if he makes the money himself instead of looking for a woman who will lift him in the way his family never did? What does he bring to the table like this?

MyOleSolksjaer:
Dear All,

I need your candid advise on these matters that touch the heart. I got married last year to the mother of my beautiful daughter sometime in August last year during the COVID lock down. The marriage was against my wishes and due to parental pressure. Prior to marrying my wife, I was doing a good job by making sure I take good care of my daughter and the mom. My daughter just turned 2 in July and has already started going to school. My wife and I met online and started dating immediately after our first sexual encounter. Along the line she got pregnant and we started having misunderstandings. We both decided we will keep the baby because I made a vow with God not to abort any child with any woman I impregnate.

However, to cut the story short we both agreed we won't get married and her parents were cool with it as long as I take care of their daughter and my child. Then came COVID and during the events of the lockdown, I entered into a relationship with a Chemical Engineer that earns a 7 figure monthly salary. The relationship lasted for months but my mom never supported the relationship and did everything to make sure I break up with this lovely lady in a bid to marry my baby mama. I was against it knowing fully well that she is very quarrelsome and dramatic. I had inner peace with my lockdown girlfriend. Till now I still miss her and want to be with her despite being married to my wife who is always looking for ways to suspect me for one thing or the other. She has even threatened that if she catch me cheating, she will cheat back.

My marriage for the past 1 year has been full of problems, drama, and even attempted violence. My wife just graduated from Uni and is about to go in for her NYSC. I am even praying she gets posted out of Lagos preferably the North. This marriage has drained me of all my resources and has taken away a lot from me. My wife doesn't appreciate the good I do for her and my daughter. She is always quick to judge me and criticize for every small mistake I make. She nags all the time and always want to pick a fight for bullshit reasons. I don't find my wife attractive anymore and I have lost every desire to have sex with her from the first day we married in August last year.

She gets upset when female colleagues at work call me. I had considered resigning because we had an issue over my boss at work who always calls me for work related stuff. I am not on good terms with my mom because she engineered this marriage against my own wishes. My wife and I don't have a good relationship. It has gotten so bad that we don't sleep in the same room anymore. I had to leave the house for some time to stay in an accommodation provided by my work place so I can have inner peace and regain my sanity.

I am so pained because of my relationship that ended abruptly. I tried getting back with my Ex whom I still love but now she doesn't want to have anything to do with me despite how much I still love her. My question is, should I still try to win my ex over or find another woman? As for my marriage, I consider it dead and over. I don't care what my parents particularly my mom will do. I don't bleeping care anymore. All I want is my love to come back to my life and end this toxic marriage.

We both decided we will keep the baby because I made a vow with God not to abort any child with any woman I impregnate.

MyOleSolksjaer:
Dear All,

I need your candid advise on these matters that touch the heart. I got married last year to the mother of my beautiful daughter sometime in August last year during the COVID lock down. The marriage was against my wishes and due to parental pressure. Prior to marrying my wife, I was doing a good job by making sure I take good care of my daughter and the mom. My daughter just turned 2 in July and has already started going to school. My wife and I met online and started dating immediately after our first sexual encounter. Along the line she got pregnant and we started having misunderstandings. We both decided we will keep the baby because I made a vow with God not to abort any child with any woman I impregnate.

However, to cut the story short we both agreed we won't get married and her parents were cool with it as long as I take care of their daughter and my child. Then came COVID and during the events of the lockdown, I entered into a relationship with a Chemical Engineer that earns a 7 figure monthly salary. The relationship lasted for months but my mom never supported the relationship and did everything to make sure I break up with this lovely lady in a bid to marry my baby mama. I was against it knowing fully well that she is very quarrelsome and dramatic. I had inner peace with my lockdown girlfriend. Till now I still miss her and want to be with her despite being married to my wife who is always looking for ways to suspect me for one thing or the other. She has even threatened that if she catch me cheating, she will cheat back.

My marriage for the past 1 year has been full of problems, drama, and even attempted violence. My wife just graduated from Uni and is about to go in for her NYSC. I am even praying she gets posted out of Lagos preferably the North. This marriage has drained me of all my resources and has taken away a lot from me. My wife doesn't appreciate the good I do for her and my daughter. She is always quick to judge me and criticize for every small mistake I make. She nags all the time and always want to pick a fight for bullshit reasons. I don't find my wife attractive anymore and I have lost every desire to have sex with her from the first day we married in August last year.

She gets upset when female colleagues at work call me. I had considered resigning because we had an issue over my boss at work who always calls me for work related stuff. I am not on good terms with my mom because she engineered this marriage against my own wishes. My wife and I don't have a good relationship. It has gotten so bad that we don't sleep in the same room anymore. I had to leave the house for some time to stay in an accommodation provided by my work place so I can have inner peace and regain my sanity.

I am so pained because of my relationship that ended abruptly. I tried getting back with my Ex whom I still love but now she doesn't want to have anything to do with me despite how much I still love her. My question is, should I still try to win my ex over or find another woman? As for my marriage, I consider it dead and over. I don't care what my parents particularly my mom will do. I don't bleeping care anymore. All I want is my love to come back to my life and end this toxic marriage.

Bigredmachine:
okay listen to what i have to say...

its not advisable to stay in a marriage that you are not happy in, you thinking your marriage with your wife is over, is a decision only you and you alone can take...

if you think you can get in touch with your ex and there is a chance of marrying her, give it a trial... but if she has been taken or she is no longer interested abeg japa, make she no go eliminate you

as for your parents, they have lived their lives, and should not be the one to be interfering in every decision you gonna take, some times dont listen to them about issues only you will live and deal with for the rest of your live

think about your live man, no woman out there should make you die before your time, pick up from where u have fallen and soon you will be back to your best...

it is well

Homeboiy:
Mugu

Your wife did this , your wife did that

Your wife is giving your troubles because you don’t appreciate her.

You know she’s not good for you and you had sex with her raw.

Oga go back and love your wife

And peace you shall receive

MyOleSolksjaer:
Dear All,

I entered into a relationship with a Chemical Engineer that earns a 7 figure monthly salary.
I am so pained because of my relationship that ended abruptly. I tried getting back with my Ex whom I still love but now she doesn't want to have anything to do with me despite how much I still love her. My question is, should I still try to win my ex over

edwinmiles:
Looks like you are more interested in your lockdown girlfriend money than your baby mama. Who is your legally married wife. Sit her down and explain things to her. She's human and can understand and if she doesn't. Opt out but not for a 7figure girl who has her problems too. Nobody holy pass abeg

Ecstacy21:
Truly, you were immature enough not to know the difference between 'love and emotion'
Also for you to have listened to your mum really shows how immature you are. Listen to their(parent) advice but in the end you are the best advice to yourself!

Call your wife to order since the relationship have turned violent , and if she continues do the needfull by ending the marriage/relationship. Leaving her though doesn't guarantee a sound relationship with your ex. Women are complex animals, you never know with them, they don't often know with themselves.

Shalom!

Youngpo413:
'7 figure monthly salary' so men dey gold dig too? Chai.

MyOleSolksjaer:
Dear All,

I need your candid advise on these matters that touch the heart. I got married last year to the mother of my beautiful daughter sometime in August last year during the COVID lock down. The marriage was against my wishes and due to parental pressure. Prior to marrying my wife, I was doing a good job by making sure I take good care of my daughter and the mom. My daughter just turned 2 in July and has already started going to school. My wife and I met online and started dating immediately after our first sexual encounter. Along the line she got pregnant and we started having misunderstandings. We both decided we will keep the baby because I made a vow with God not to abort any child with any woman I impregnate.

However, to cut the story short we both agreed we won't get married and her parents were cool with it as long as I take care of their daughter and my child. Then came COVID and during the events of the lockdown, I entered into a relationship with a Chemical Engineer that earns a 7 figure monthly salary. The relationship lasted for months but my mom never supported the relationship and did everything to make sure I break up with this lovely lady in a bid to marry my baby mama. I was against it knowing fully well that she is very quarrelsome and dramatic. I had inner peace with my lockdown girlfriend. Till now I still miss her and want to be with her despite being married to my wife who is always looking for ways to suspect me for one thing or the other. She has even threatened that if she catch me cheating, she will cheat back.

My marriage for the past 1 year has been full of problems, drama, and even attempted violence. My wife just graduated from Uni and is about to go in for her NYSC. I am even praying she gets posted out of Lagos preferably the North. This marriage has drained me of all my resources and has taken away a lot from me. My wife doesn't appreciate the good I do for her and my daughter. She is always quick to judge me and criticize for every small mistake I make. She nags all the time and always want to pick a fight for bullshit reasons. I don't find my wife attractive anymore and I have lost every desire to have sex with her from the first day we married in August last year.

She gets upset when female colleagues at work call me. I had considered resigning because we had an issue over my boss at work who always calls me for work related stuff. I am not on good terms with my mom because she engineered this marriage against my own wishes. My wife and I don't have a good relationship. It has gotten so bad that we don't sleep in the same room anymore. I had to leave the house for some time to stay in an accommodation provided by my work place so I can have inner peace and regain my sanity.

I am so pained because of my relationship that ended abruptly. I tried getting back with my Ex whom I still love but now she doesn't want to have anything to do with me despite how much I still love her. My question is, should I still try to win my ex over or find another woman? As for my marriage, I consider it dead and over. I don't care what my parents particularly my mom will do. I don't bleeping care anymore. All I want is my love to come back to my life and end this toxic marriage.

Bro stay in the mariage....juss find side chick to fok sir..too many lightskin & half cast womens out their sir....even for 2k!! (THANK ME LATER)

larryjonze:
according to OP, he had the golden opportunity to be with the engr lady but decided to listen to his mom and went ahead to marry his baby mama, that doesnt sound like what a real gold digger will do.

according to OP, from the onset of the r/ship the lady gave him no peace which was what led him to discover the other lady unfortunately she is rich. No one is above mistake, pregnancy can happened but i blame OP for marrying a woman just to please his mom, that was childish & very wrong.

May i remind you, ur gender strongly believe "their money is solely their money" .. that a man finds a cuppy today does not guarantee jackpot, i assure you women aint that generous with their money, IF OP could afford to wed, cater for his child and a wife that has no job, lets give him the benefit of doubt he is not lazy, isnt it obvious what he brings to the table is independence

On contrary my advice to OP is not all that glitter is gold, no go carry weytin be big pass you, even if she is independent as her man you still have to live up to certain standards orelse inferiority complex/insecurity go kill that peace of mind in no time.

Joydan95:
OP, I just woke up and this is the first thread I clicked on. I am going to advise you based on the fact that I am married and I totally understand what you mean rather than those unmarried folks giving you advise that they themselves wouldn’t take if they were in your shoes.
Firstly, marriage is like a “surprise box” you never know what you will get, and it doesn’t mean that you partner or yourself is bad , it totally balls down to the fact that you both were raised differently, your ideologies differs in a lot of ways and that alone guarantees that there will be conflict. Now , often times when angry couples decides to divorce themselves and are told to visit a therapist together , most times if non of them are seeing someone else, the matter get resolved immediately. Why is this so?
It’s is because a therapist will often give the ground for both partners to “communicate “ with each other and when the communication takes place, they talk about their discomfort, insecurities and feelings. Communication is the greatest Architect / bond of a great marriage, trust me. I got married during the lock down too .
For the fact that you agreed to settle down with your wife, it means you have a little spot for her. Marriage is spiritual than physical, you don’t like your wife and it manifest in your attitude towards her and by nature she will definitely feel the negative energy that you sub-consciously emit thus giving you the reaction you get (toxicity).
You talked about leaving your wife for you ex,what if you leave her and get married to your ex and this same re-occurring fights happen, will you keep remarrying? “The devil you know is better than the one you don’t know. You think your ex is better because you are not living together.
The best approach in marriage is constant communication, when you see that your partner is acting somehow, draw her close and ask her what the problem is. If it’s about her insecurities, please keep reassuring her that you are for her only and keep bonding/praying with each other. It has worked for my parents ,it’s still working in my marriage and many other marriages.

MyOleSolksjaer:
.

MyOleSolksjaer:
Dear All,

I need your candid advise on these matters that touch the heart. I got married last year to the mother of my beautiful daughter sometime in August last year during the COVID lock down. The marriage was against my wishes and due to parental pressure. Prior to marrying my wife, I was doing a good job by making sure I take good care of my daughter and the mom. My daughter just turned 2 in July and has already started going to school. My wife and I met online and started dating immediately after our first sexual encounter. Along the line she got pregnant and we started having misunderstandings. We both decided we will keep the baby because I made a vow with God not to abort any child with any woman I impregnate.

However, to cut the story short we both agreed we won't get married and her parents were cool with it as long as I take care of their daughter and my child. Then came COVID and during the events of the lockdown, I entered into a relationship with a Chemical Engineer that earns a 7 figure monthly salary. The relationship lasted for months but my mom never supported the relationship and did everything to make sure I break up with this lovely lady in a bid to marry my baby mama. I was against it knowing fully well that she is very quarrelsome and dramatic. I had inner peace with my lockdown girlfriend. Till now I still miss her and want to be with her despite being married to my wife who is always looking for ways to suspect me for one thing or the other. She has even threatened that if she catch me cheating, she will cheat back.

My marriage for the past 1 year has been full of problems, drama, and even attempted violence. My wife just graduated from Uni and is about to go in for her NYSC. I am even praying she gets posted out of Lagos preferably the North. This marriage has drained me of all my resources and has taken away a lot from me. My wife doesn't appreciate the good I do for her and my daughter. She is always quick to judge me and criticize for every small mistake I make. She nags all the time and always want to pick a fight for bullshit reasons. I don't find my wife attractive anymore and I have lost every desire to have sex with her from the first day we married in August last year.

She gets upset when female colleagues at work call me. I had considered resigning because we had an issue over my boss at work who always calls me for work related stuff. I am not on good terms with my mom because she engineered this marriage against my own wishes. My wife and I don't have a good relationship. It has gotten so bad that we don't sleep in the same room anymore. I had to leave the house for some time to stay in an accommodation provided by my work place so I can have inner peace and regain my sanity.

I am so pained because of my relationship that ended abruptly. I tried getting back with my Ex whom I still love but now she doesn't want to have anything to do with me despite how much I still love her. My question is, should I still try to win my ex over or find another woman? As for my marriage, I consider it dead and over. I don't care what my parents particularly my mom will do. I don't bleeping care anymore. All I want is my love to come back to my life and end this toxic marriage.

Iyaebe:
You are a gold digger and an opportunist you are only in love with the seven figures and not the lady.