| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Elterizee: 11:54pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
MyOleSolksjaer:
Dear All,
I need your candid advise on these matters that touch the heart. I got married last year to the mother of my beautiful daughter sometime in August last year during the COVID lock down. The marriage was against my wishes and due to parental pressure. Prior to marrying my wife, I was doing a good job by making sure I take good care of my daughter and the mom. My daughter just turned 2 in July and has already started going to school. My wife and I met online and started dating immediately after our first sexual encounter. Along the line she got pregnant and we started having misunderstandings. We both decided we will keep the baby because I made a vow with God not to abort any child with any woman I impregnate.
However, to cut the story short we both agreed we won't get married and her parents were cool with it as long as I take care of their daughter and my child. Then came COVID and during the events of the lockdown, I entered into a relationship with a Chemical Engineer that earns a 7 figure monthly salary. The relationship lasted for months but my mom never supported the relationship and did everything to make sure I break up with this lovely lady in a bid to marry my baby mama. I was against it knowing fully well that she is very quarrelsome and dramatic. I had inner peace with my lockdown girlfriend. Till now I still miss her and want to be with her despite being married to my wife who is always looking for ways to suspect me for one thing or the other. She has even threatened that if she catch me cheating, she will cheat back.
My marriage for the past 1 year has been full of problems, drama, and even attempted violence. My wife just graduated from Uni and is about to go in for her NYSC. I am even praying she gets posted out of Lagos preferably the North. This marriage has drained me of all my resources and has taken away a lot from me. My wife doesn't appreciate the good I do for her and my daughter. She is always quick to judge me and criticize for every small mistake I make. She nags all the time and always want to pick a fight for bullshit reasons. I don't find my wife attractive anymore and I have lost every desire to have sex with her from the first day we married in August last year.
She gets upset when female colleagues at work call me. I had considered resigning because we had an issue over my boss at work who always calls me for work related stuff. I am not on good terms with my mom because she engineered this marriage against my own wishes. My wife and I don't have a good relationship. It has gotten so bad that we don't sleep in the same room anymore. I had to leave the house for some time to stay in an accommodation provided by my work place so I can have inner peace and regain my sanity.
I am so pained because of my relationship that ended abruptly. I tried getting back with my Ex whom I still love but now she doesn't want to have anything to do with me despite how much I still love her. My question is, should I still try to win my ex over or find another woman? As for my marriage, I consider it dead and over. I don't care what my parents particularly my mom will do. I don't bleeping care anymore. All I want is my love to come back to my life and end this toxic marriage. All this talk dey annoy me for body...are u a kid? Are u not man enough to make Ur own decisions..Ur here blaming Ur mum ...if u don't want her then divorce na 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by nosmassam(m): 11:58pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
As a marriage counselling, you can never change your baby mama to love you, neither can she change you to love her. The only thing that I know is that you both can only work on yourself to change yourself for better |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by OdefaGirl(f): 12:14am On Oct 06, 2021 |
GUY, YOU ARE SELFISH....... |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Basicend: 12:31am On Oct 06, 2021 |
Sir,
The foundation is not good enough from the beginning.
You started from internet meeting.
Invited the lady to your house. . Just like that. .
Had sex with her and got her pregnant . . All before marriage. .
And now you are calling God's name. . Check God's book and see God's standards on these things. .
Well, the deed has been done. . But if the foundation can be destroyed. . You will need his mercies alone to achieve stability in this many complexities.
This generation self.
Bowed to your mother's pressure to marry a woman you do not love. . 2 Likes |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Basicend: 12:54am On Oct 06, 2021 |
Tell your mum to divorsed her for you. . 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Gval123: 1:14am On Oct 06, 2021 |
From all u said, u are the problem. You had sex with a girl, impregnated her, had agreement with her not to marry her, got into another relationship with a lady who earn 7 figures. wahooo. First oh, which country them for day pay person 7 figure? Nigeria? or the lady na Mark Elliot Zuckerberg? That story nor align oh, but make we do like say we nor see that one. After u started docking ur new 7 figure babe, u say ur mama tok to u again, u come begin docking ur baby mama, even marry her and now u wan go back to ur old babe. Brother, u are unstable as the water of the sea, from all ur story telling, u nor see one tangible thing talk say ur wife do. Why she nor go suspect u? See, u can't eat ur cake and have it, u go nowhere. You must find a way to love ur wife oh, na because another woman day ur eye, that's why u never love ur wife, remove ur eyes from outside and u will immediately find ur wife very attractive. As a confirm Edo man so, i day see say na u be the problem if ur matter na true. Ashewo for man, that's what u are 2 Likes |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Mairice125: 2:29am On Oct 06, 2021 |
The only way you can regain your wife is through good and long lasting sex .She angry because you haven't touched her ,she human bro !.You are a man don't let any woman nagging way you down ,that is their nature ,they themselves can't help it .When you see their mood swings enjoy it , laugh over it ,don't leave her ,kiss her ,hug her tight , shout if need be she will slowly starting loving you .Men ejaculate everyday that's why they can never read subtle sign from a real feminine woman !!! |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by vickydevoka(m): 2:42am On Oct 06, 2021 |
Youngpo413:
'7 figure monthly salary' so men dey gold dig too? Chai. Yahoo boys plenty. Everybody de gold digg. Buh i can't marry a poor lady. I can't fit, abj is too expensive for that |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by sunboy(m): 3:38am On Oct 06, 2021 |
GoldenJAT:
Mothers too de follow cause marriage wahala sometimes!
It's quite a dicey situation,as it seems your mind is made up already.
As I will always say! Take your actions and take responsibility for it. How he take allow his mom to dictate who he get to spend his life with…. That one still dey baffle me sha. I come in peace sha |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by bepositive11: 3:39am On Oct 06, 2021 |
Administration1:
I cannot recall saying I had issues in my marriage though You don't love your wife and you're having an affair with another woman. In spite of all that, you're happy with your marriage? |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Nobody: 5:39am On Oct 06, 2021 |
BRATISLAVA:
He isn't looking for peace of mind. He's looking for a chemical engineer so that he can eat up her 7 figures with her. He knew he was in a lifetime relationship with his wife, but still went around looking another woman.
If he wanted peace of mind, he would stay where he is. Instead he's looking for how to cheat. How exactly is hurting his wife peace of mind?
Male sluttiness is one of a kind. Shameless golddiging. Is there something wrong if he makes the money himself instead of looking for a woman who will lift him in the way his family never did? What does he bring to the table like this? according to OP, he had the golden opportunity to be with the engr lady but decided to listen to his mom and went ahead to marry his baby mama, that doesnt sound like what a real gold digger will do. according to OP, from the onset of the r/ship the lady gave him no peace which was what led him to discover the other lady unfortunately she is rich. No one is above mistake, pregnancy can happened but i blame OP for marrying a woman just to please his mom, that was childish & very wrong. May i remind you, ur gender strongly believe "their money is solely their money" .. that a man finds a cuppy today does not guarantee jackpot, i assure you women aint that generous with their money, IF OP could afford to wed, cater for his child and a wife that has no job, lets give him the benefit of doubt he is not lazy, isnt it obvious what he brings to the table is independence On contrary my advice to OP is not all that glitter is gold, no go carry weytin be big pass you, even if she is independent as her man you still have to live up to certain standards orelse inferiority complex/insecurity go kill that peace of mind in no time. 1 Like |
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| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by StreetPreacher: 6:31am On Oct 06, 2021 |
MyOleSolksjaer:
Dear All,
I need your candid advise on these matters that touch the heart. I got married last year to the mother of my beautiful daughter sometime in August last year during the COVID lock down. The marriage was against my wishes and due to parental pressure. Prior to marrying my wife, I was doing a good job by making sure I take good care of my daughter and the mom. My daughter just turned 2 in July and has already started going to school. My wife and I met online and started dating immediately after our first sexual encounter. Along the line she got pregnant and we started having misunderstandings. We both decided we will keep the baby because I made a vow with God not to abort any child with any woman I impregnate.
However, to cut the story short we both agreed we won't get married and her parents were cool with it as long as I take care of their daughter and my child. Then came COVID and during the events of the lockdown, I entered into a relationship with a Chemical Engineer that earns a 7 figure monthly salary. The relationship lasted for months but my mom never supported the relationship and did everything to make sure I break up with this lovely lady in a bid to marry my baby mama. I was against it knowing fully well that she is very quarrelsome and dramatic. I had inner peace with my lockdown girlfriend. Till now I still miss her and want to be with her despite being married to my wife who is always looking for ways to suspect me for one thing or the other. She has even threatened that if she catch me cheating, she will cheat back.
My marriage for the past 1 year has been full of problems, drama, and even attempted violence. My wife just graduated from Uni and is about to go in for her NYSC. I am even praying she gets posted out of Lagos preferably the North. This marriage has drained me of all my resources and has taken away a lot from me. My wife doesn't appreciate the good I do for her and my daughter. She is always quick to judge me and criticize for every small mistake I make. She nags all the time and always want to pick a fight for bullshit reasons. I don't find my wife attractive anymore and I have lost every desire to have sex with her from the first day we married in August last year.
She gets upset when female colleagues at work call me. I had considered resigning because we had an issue over my boss at work who always calls me for work related stuff. I am not on good terms with my mom because she engineered this marriage against my own wishes. My wife and I don't have a good relationship. It has gotten so bad that we don't sleep in the same room anymore. I had to leave the house for some time to stay in an accommodation provided by my work place so I can have inner peace and regain my sanity.
I am so pained because of my relationship that ended abruptly. I tried getting back with my Ex whom I still love but now she doesn't want to have anything to do with me despite how much I still love her. My question is, should I still try to win my ex over or find another woman? As for my marriage, I consider it dead and over. I don't care what my parents particularly my mom will do. I don't bleeping care anymore. All I want is my love to come back to my life and end this toxic marriage. We both decided we will keep the baby because I made a vow with God not to abort any child with any woman I impregnate. well done ooo! So God come send you to impregnate somebody wey you never marry |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Joydan95: 7:06am On Oct 06, 2021 |
MyOleSolksjaer:
Dear All,
I need your candid advise on these matters that touch the heart. I got married last year to the mother of my beautiful daughter sometime in August last year during the COVID lock down. The marriage was against my wishes and due to parental pressure. Prior to marrying my wife, I was doing a good job by making sure I take good care of my daughter and the mom. My daughter just turned 2 in July and has already started going to school. My wife and I met online and started dating immediately after our first sexual encounter. Along the line she got pregnant and we started having misunderstandings. We both decided we will keep the baby because I made a vow with God not to abort any child with any woman I impregnate.
However, to cut the story short we both agreed we won't get married and her parents were cool with it as long as I take care of their daughter and my child. Then came COVID and during the events of the lockdown, I entered into a relationship with a Chemical Engineer that earns a 7 figure monthly salary. The relationship lasted for months but my mom never supported the relationship and did everything to make sure I break up with this lovely lady in a bid to marry my baby mama. I was against it knowing fully well that she is very quarrelsome and dramatic. I had inner peace with my lockdown girlfriend. Till now I still miss her and want to be with her despite being married to my wife who is always looking for ways to suspect me for one thing or the other. She has even threatened that if she catch me cheating, she will cheat back.
My marriage for the past 1 year has been full of problems, drama, and even attempted violence. My wife just graduated from Uni and is about to go in for her NYSC. I am even praying she gets posted out of Lagos preferably the North. This marriage has drained me of all my resources and has taken away a lot from me. My wife doesn't appreciate the good I do for her and my daughter. She is always quick to judge me and criticize for every small mistake I make. She nags all the time and always want to pick a fight for bullshit reasons. I don't find my wife attractive anymore and I have lost every desire to have sex with her from the first day we married in August last year.
She gets upset when female colleagues at work call me. I had considered resigning because we had an issue over my boss at work who always calls me for work related stuff. I am not on good terms with my mom because she engineered this marriage against my own wishes. My wife and I don't have a good relationship. It has gotten so bad that we don't sleep in the same room anymore. I had to leave the house for some time to stay in an accommodation provided by my work place so I can have inner peace and regain my sanity.
I am so pained because of my relationship that ended abruptly. I tried getting back with my Ex whom I still love but now she doesn't want to have anything to do with me despite how much I still love her. My question is, should I still try to win my ex over or find another woman? As for my marriage, I consider it dead and over. I don't care what my parents particularly my mom will do. I don't bleeping care anymore. All I want is my love to come back to my life and end this toxic marriage. OP, I just woke up and this is the first thread I clicked on. I am going to advise you based on the fact that I am married and I totally understand what you mean rather than those unmarried folks giving you advise that they themselves wouldn’t take if they were in your shoes. Firstly, marriage is like a “surprise box” you never know what you will get, and it doesn’t mean that you partner or yourself is bad , it totally balls down to the fact that you both were raised differently, your ideologies differs in a lot of ways and that alone guarantees that there will be conflict. Now , often times when angry couples decides to divorce themselves and are told to visit a therapist together , most times if non of them are seeing someone else, the matter get resolved immediately. Why is this so? It’s is because a therapist will often give the ground for both partners to “communicate “ with each other and when the communication takes place, they talk about their discomfort, insecurities and feelings. Communication is the greatest Architect / bond of a great marriage, trust me. I got married during the lock down too . For the fact that you agreed to settle down with your wife, it means you have a little spot for her. Marriage is spiritual than physical, you don’t like your wife and it manifest in your attitude towards her and by nature she will definitely feel the negative energy that you sub-consciously emit thus giving you the reaction you get (toxicity). You talked about leaving your wife for you ex,what if you leave her and get married to your ex and this same re-occurring fights happen, will you keep remarrying? “The devil you know is better than the one you don’t know. You think your ex is better because you are not living together. The best approach in marriage is constant communication, when you see that your partner is acting somehow, draw her close and ask her what the problem is. If it’s about her insecurities, please keep reassuring her that you are for her only and keep bonding/praying with each other. It has worked for my parents ,it’s still working in my marriage and many other marriages. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Joydan95: 7:10am On Oct 06, 2021 |
Bigredmachine:
okay listen to what i have to say...
its not advisable to stay in a marriage that you are not happy in, you thinking your marriage with your wife is over, is a decision only you and you alone can take...
if you think you can get in touch with your ex and there is a chance of marrying her, give it a trial... but if she has been taken or she is no longer interested abeg japa, make she no go eliminate you
as for your parents, they have lived their lives, and should not be the one to be interfering in every decision you gonna take, some times dont listen to them about issues only you will live and deal with for the rest of your live
think about your live man, no woman out there should make you die before your time, pick up from where u have fallen and soon you will be back to your best...
it is well I doubt that you are married |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Sambab(m): 7:40am On Oct 06, 2021 |
You had a problem from the beginning, and the problem is that you didn't like your the lady you married, what bring you together is that, you had sexual relationship with her and she pregnant which lead to force marriage.
You have had more than enough sexual intercourses with her and you have already tired of her, hence the reason you didn't plan to marry her until you had force by your lovely parents.
You only love this engineer lady only cos of her 7 digits monthly salary, it's not that you really love her whole heartedly, if she loose her 7 digits salary,iam sure you would have excuses to give not to marry her also, and this is what your parents see that you are not a contentment son, so they make sure you married the lady you impregnated,cos they don't want your life to be ruined by having different baby mama.
Now my advice:
The reason you felt your wife is a trouble wife is cos you don't give her her deserve love and attention,and there's no any woman that can tolerate that from you. She knew that you were in love with someone else before you married her,and despite the fact that you had married yet you neither love her nor give her the necessary attention and caring.
It's better you talk to your wife with open and faithful mind, apologize to each other, and Star your marriage afresh.
The marriage is beautiful only if you are in love and caring marriage.
Make a good decision to Work on your marriage, show your real love to her, support and attention give her the caring and attention she wants from you, then come and beat me later if you don't see a natural happiness in your marriage and your wife. 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by favour32(m): 7:53am On Oct 06, 2021 |
Homeboiy:
Mugu
Your wife did this , your wife did that
Your wife is giving your troubles because you don’t appreciate her.
You know she’s not good for you and you had sex with her raw.
Oga go back and love your wife
And peace you shall receive You nor dey e shoe...you think say e easy to love a person wey e nor ready to love back? The best advise na make e do wetin fit give am peace because na him life nor be the adviser life. |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Dannjay(m): 7:53am On Oct 06, 2021 |
You are simply economical with the truth by adsorbing yourself of any wrongdoing. |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by DrFestus: 7:59am On Oct 06, 2021 |
The only problem in your marriage is because you don't love your wife. You were pressured by your parents to marry her because you never loved her. Develop love for you wife and your problem shall be permanently solve.
Never try to marry or have another woman outside your marriage, for that shall be a greater problem. Stick to your wife, love her, care for her, spend time with her and you shall receive peace...
I'm a marriage counselor and I av counsel u for free. U can chat me up for more marriage counseling on 08078090181 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by edwinmiles(f): 8:12am On Oct 06, 2021 |
Looks like you are more interested in your lockdown girlfriend money than your baby mama. Who is your legally married wife. Sit her down and explain things to her. She's human and can understand and if she doesn't. Opt out but not for a 7figure girl who has her problems too. Nobody holy pass abeg 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Microwhy: 8:18am On Oct 06, 2021 |
MyOleSolksjaer:
Dear All,
I entered into a relationship with a Chemical Engineer that earns a 7 figure monthly salary.
I am so pained because of my relationship that ended abruptly. I tried getting back with my Ex whom I still love but now she doesn't want to have anything to do with me despite how much I still love her. My question is, should I still try to win my ex over Lazy man, oloju kokoro. The only thing I can advise you is to open the marriage. Your wife will be free to date anybody and if she falls in love, she can pack her bags and go or else just end the marriage on mutual agreement. Its just too stupid of you to still think about the seven figures of your EX because that's why you're letting your wife to be miserable. 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Microwhy: 8:20am On Oct 06, 2021 |
edwinmiles:
Looks like you are more interested in your lockdown girlfriend money than your baby mama. Who is your legally married wife. Sit her down and explain things to her. She's human and can understand and if she doesn't. Opt out but not for a 7figure girl who has her problems too. Nobody holy pass abeg Fact.. Don't mind the lazy asshole . 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Omoluabiii(m): 8:23am On Oct 06, 2021 |
Marriage is a big scam,
and a secret cult....
Few people re lucky with it tho.
But if you re not happy in it, try to fix it, if you ve tried and it aint working still
cut out asap.... |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by holocron: 8:33am On Oct 06, 2021 |
Ecstacy21:
Truly, you were immature enough not to know the difference between 'love and emotion'
Also for you to have listened to your mum really shows how immature you are. Listen to their(parent) advice but in the end you are the best advice to yourself!
Call your wife to order since the relationship have turned violent , and if she continues do the needfull by ending the marriage/relationship. Leaving her though doesn't guarantee a sound relationship with your ex. Women are complex animals, you never know with them, they don't often know with themselves.
Shalom! Be like say you be old school. You know about this book ba? 
|
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by mainman7(m): 8:47am On Oct 06, 2021 |
Youngpo413:
'7 figure monthly salary' so men dey gold dig too? Chai. Don't mind the senseless Selfish Bastard that is just frustrating the Life of his innocent Wife. When we tell them, abstain in Holiness till you marry who you desire, them no go here. He doesn't even have the Moral right to speak on Marriage, a Big shameful example to the next Generation! 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Pumpumking: 8:52am On Oct 06, 2021 |
MyOleSolksjaer:
Dear All,
I need your candid advise on these matters that touch the heart. I got married last year to the mother of my beautiful daughter sometime in August last year during the COVID lock down. The marriage was against my wishes and due to parental pressure. Prior to marrying my wife, I was doing a good job by making sure I take good care of my daughter and the mom. My daughter just turned 2 in July and has already started going to school. My wife and I met online and started dating immediately after our first sexual encounter. Along the line she got pregnant and we started having misunderstandings. We both decided we will keep the baby because I made a vow with God not to abort any child with any woman I impregnate.
However, to cut the story short we both agreed we won't get married and her parents were cool with it as long as I take care of their daughter and my child. Then came COVID and during the events of the lockdown, I entered into a relationship with a Chemical Engineer that earns a 7 figure monthly salary. The relationship lasted for months but my mom never supported the relationship and did everything to make sure I break up with this lovely lady in a bid to marry my baby mama. I was against it knowing fully well that she is very quarrelsome and dramatic. I had inner peace with my lockdown girlfriend. Till now I still miss her and want to be with her despite being married to my wife who is always looking for ways to suspect me for one thing or the other. She has even threatened that if she catch me cheating, she will cheat back.
My marriage for the past 1 year has been full of problems, drama, and even attempted violence. My wife just graduated from Uni and is about to go in for her NYSC. I am even praying she gets posted out of Lagos preferably the North. This marriage has drained me of all my resources and has taken away a lot from me. My wife doesn't appreciate the good I do for her and my daughter. She is always quick to judge me and criticize for every small mistake I make. She nags all the time and always want to pick a fight for bullshit reasons. I don't find my wife attractive anymore and I have lost every desire to have sex with her from the first day we married in August last year.
She gets upset when female colleagues at work call me. I had considered resigning because we had an issue over my boss at work who always calls me for work related stuff. I am not on good terms with my mom because she engineered this marriage against my own wishes. My wife and I don't have a good relationship. It has gotten so bad that we don't sleep in the same room anymore. I had to leave the house for some time to stay in an accommodation provided by my work place so I can have inner peace and regain my sanity.
I am so pained because of my relationship that ended abruptly. I tried getting back with my Ex whom I still love but now she doesn't want to have anything to do with me despite how much I still love her. My question is, should I still try to win my ex over or find another woman? As for my marriage, I consider it dead and over. I don't care what my parents particularly my mom will do. I don't bleeping care anymore. All I want is my love to come back to my life and end this toxic marriage.
Bro stay in the mariage....juss find side chick to fok sir..too many lightskin & half cast womens out their sir....even for 2k!! (THANK ME LATER) 
|
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by BRATISLAVA: 9:22am On Oct 06, 2021 |
larryjonze:
according to OP, he had the golden opportunity to be with the engr lady but decided to listen to his mom and went ahead to marry his baby mama, that doesnt sound like what a real gold digger will do.
according to OP, from the onset of the r/ship the lady gave him no peace which was what led him to discover the other lady unfortunately she is rich. No one is above mistake, pregnancy can happened but i blame OP for marrying a woman just to please his mom, that was childish & very wrong.
May i remind you, ur gender strongly believe "their money is solely their money" .. that a man finds a cuppy today does not guarantee jackpot, i assure you women aint that generous with their money, IF OP could afford to wed, cater for his child and a wife that has no job, lets give him the benefit of doubt he is not lazy, isnt it obvious what he brings to the table is independence
On contrary my advice to OP is not all that glitter is gold, no go carry weytin be big pass you, even if she is independent as her man you still have to live up to certain standards orelse inferiority complex/insecurity go kill that peace of mind in no time.
Face the fact: your gender are gold diggers incapable of truly loving another person but themselves. The only peace he's looking for is a lot of women's money that he didn't work for. Talk about men and their unique laziness. My money is my money, but her money is what will give me peace. Typical thought process of men. It's a golden opportunity to you because it is a man involved and because your are a man. Nobody told him to listen to his mom. He was already in a relationship with a child, what did you think he should do? Dump that one and get this new one who he will still cheat on and dump as is the way of such slut men? Having money never kept a wandering deek in one place. When I said it on the other thread, you were asking how a doctor in the UK is a gold digger because of a pair of shoes, well here you have it yet again that men are only after money in relationships. You even call it a golden opportunity. You people keep pointing at women and money to hide your own golddigging and pass it off. That is if the story is true. It's been so easy for you to believe it, such a one-sided story because it comes from your gender. When men are ready to do nonsense they hide behind "peace of mind". Because they are the only people who deserve it. Let him get on his knees and fight for his marriage. His post is one big excuse and he sounds like one of the immature nagging golddigging red pill men who are constantly looking for ease in relationships while they bring nothing but destruction. They always want peace but don't carry peace themselves, just hate, blame and more old internalized hatred.Bye Felicia. 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by BRATISLAVA: 9:34am On Oct 06, 2021 |
Joydan95:
OP, I just woke up and this is the first thread I clicked on. I am going to advise you based on the fact that I am married and I totally understand what you mean rather than those unmarried folks giving you advise that they themselves wouldn’t take if they were in your shoes.
Firstly, marriage is like a “surprise box” you never know what you will get, and it doesn’t mean that you partner or yourself is bad , it totally balls down to the fact that you both were raised differently, your ideologies differs in a lot of ways and that alone guarantees that there will be conflict. Now , often times when angry couples decides to divorce themselves and are told to visit a therapist together , most times if non of them are seeing someone else, the matter get resolved immediately. Why is this so?
It’s is because a therapist will often give the ground for both partners to “communicate “ with each other and when the communication takes place, they talk about their discomfort, insecurities and feelings. Communication is the greatest Architect / bond of a great marriage, trust me. I got married during the lock down too .
For the fact that you agreed to settle down with your wife, it means you have a little spot for her. Marriage is spiritual than physical, you don’t like your wife and it manifest in your attitude towards her and by nature she will definitely feel the negative energy that you sub-consciously emit thus giving you the reaction you get (toxicity).
You talked about leaving your wife for you ex,what if you leave her and get married to your ex and this same re-occurring fights happen, will you keep remarrying? “The devil you know is better than the one you don’t know. You think your ex is better because you are not living together.
The best approach in marriage is constant communication, when you see that your partner is acting somehow, draw her close and ask her what the problem is. If it’s about her insecurities, please keep reassuring her that you are for her only and keep bonding/praying with each other. It has worked for my parents ,it’s still working in my marriage and many other marriages.
He's not interested in doing any work. He is one of those men who stick in their deek, once they feel a little problem comes up, they are sticking it in a new place for peace of mind. He has issues. All he has is a catalogue of blame and how she deprived him of being with his fantasy. I wonder when people will realize that that person you see out there that is putting fire in your home because you think they are perfect, is another person you haven't lived with to get to know them the way you have your spouse. 4 Likes |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Nobody: 9:38am On Oct 06, 2021 |
MyOleSolksjaer:
. The problem is you not your wife. If you knew you didn't want to marry her, why date online and have sex? You are not responsible at all. You also cannot marry who you don't love no matter the pressure you receive from your parents. On the other hand,your parents had to choose for you because they know you don't make good decisions. No reasonable girl will watch you hurt her by marrying another out of indecisiveness and wait for you to come back to them. You don't deserve her. Go back to your wife and make the marriage work. 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by lakefist(m): 10:00am On Oct 06, 2021 |
MyOleSolksjaer:
Dear All,
I need your candid advise on these matters that touch the heart. I got married last year to the mother of my beautiful daughter sometime in August last year during the COVID lock down. The marriage was against my wishes and due to parental pressure. Prior to marrying my wife, I was doing a good job by making sure I take good care of my daughter and the mom. My daughter just turned 2 in July and has already started going to school. My wife and I met online and started dating immediately after our first sexual encounter. Along the line she got pregnant and we started having misunderstandings. We both decided we will keep the baby because I made a vow with God not to abort any child with any woman I impregnate.
However, to cut the story short we both agreed we won't get married and her parents were cool with it as long as I take care of their daughter and my child. Then came COVID and during the events of the lockdown, I entered into a relationship with a Chemical Engineer that earns a 7 figure monthly salary. The relationship lasted for months but my mom never supported the relationship and did everything to make sure I break up with this lovely lady in a bid to marry my baby mama. I was against it knowing fully well that she is very quarrelsome and dramatic. I had inner peace with my lockdown girlfriend. Till now I still miss her and want to be with her despite being married to my wife who is always looking for ways to suspect me for one thing or the other. She has even threatened that if she catch me cheating, she will cheat back.
My marriage for the past 1 year has been full of problems, drama, and even attempted violence. My wife just graduated from Uni and is about to go in for her NYSC. I am even praying she gets posted out of Lagos preferably the North. This marriage has drained me of all my resources and has taken away a lot from me. My wife doesn't appreciate the good I do for her and my daughter. She is always quick to judge me and criticize for every small mistake I make. She nags all the time and always want to pick a fight for bullshit reasons. I don't find my wife attractive anymore and I have lost every desire to have sex with her from the first day we married in August last year.
She gets upset when female colleagues at work call me. I had considered resigning because we had an issue over my boss at work who always calls me for work related stuff. I am not on good terms with my mom because she engineered this marriage against my own wishes. My wife and I don't have a good relationship. It has gotten so bad that we don't sleep in the same room anymore. I had to leave the house for some time to stay in an accommodation provided by my work place so I can have inner peace and regain my sanity.
I am so pained because of my relationship that ended abruptly. I tried getting back with my Ex whom I still love but now she doesn't want to have anything to do with me despite how much I still love her. My question is, should I still try to win my ex over or find another woman? As for my marriage, I consider it dead and over. I don't care what my parents particularly my mom will do. I don't bleeping care anymore. All I want is my love to come back to my life and end this toxic marriage. Just say you're interested in your EX. Your marriage is young and it is perfectly normal to experience all you have stated. Many people think courting for years automatically give them assurance there won't be problem in marriage. Courting is different, marriage is the true test of your love. Just know that what you're experiencing is normal for one year marriage. If you like marry your ex, it would still end up same way. |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by bethyz(m): 10:29am On Oct 06, 2021 |
Mumu man. They pushed you to marry. Before you were a boy who follows parents decision . Suddenly you have become a man and you do not care what they say or think.
You try. That 7 figure you are going after will shock you.
Better make your marriage work and find out what you are not doing to make that woman happy do it.
If you dont have 100% interest in your marriage you wont give it your all.
Focus on your marriage and make it work remove your eyes from outside and know peace |
| Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Rossycee(f): 11:29am On Oct 06, 2021 |
Iyaebe:
You are a gold digger and an opportunist you are only in love with the seven figures and not the lady. Absolutely. Supposing the wife earns that much, it would have been a different story. Gold diggers everywhere. 1 Like 1 Share |
