₦airaland Forum

Simran94:
The only option you a d your husband have now since your son has refused to listen, tell him to leave your house and continue with his escapades somewhere else.
Simple!!!

wisemum:
I am bringing this topic here to see if I can get any good advise from youths of the same generation.

My son returned from schooling abroad two years ago and after completing his NYSC, has been trying to get a job. None has been forthcoming but he tries to keep occupied, trying his hands on different projects. He still lives at home but says that once he is financially stable, he will get his own apartment and move out.

He is generally a calm, law abiding , likeable gentleman until when he recently started bringing home this girl who dresses like a prostitute and who I discovered stays overnight in his room with him. His dad and I have fought him over this subject to no avail. I confronted the girl to tell her I do not feel comfortable with her sleeping overnight in my house especially since I do not know her family and will be held responsible if anything happens to her. She apologized to me and promised not to come to sleep over again. However, I noticed that after that, he started sneaking her in at late hours of the night when he thinks we have gone to bed, sometimes when it is past midnight. He hasn't introduced the girl to us as anything to him even though I have asked him several times what his intentions with this girl is but he will just say she is a friend that makes him happy- that's all.

He told his uncle that he likes the girl. I don't even know what else to do. I have tried talking to him, reasoning with him, but it all falls on his deaf ears. I do not like this girl at all. She comes across to me as a street girl- even though she is generally polite when she meets me at home anytime she comes during the day. I investigated and found out her work place is not far from our house. What I do not like about her is that she dresses, exposing delicate parts of her body and is a chain smoker.

Furthermore, to me, a girl who sleeps out in a mans' parent house, continually disregarding how his parents feel about it, cannot be good news. Once, I caught her almost naked in the night walking along the corridor leading to my sons room. She ran inside his room when she saw me. I was so embarrassed and wondered what if my husband had been the one who ran into her? What kind of thing is this? Only her pant on, breasts bare. It was the following day I traced her to her work place and gently but sharply and firmly told her I do not permit her to sleep over in my house again. His dad also spoke with him. I also spoke to him. Everything has been to no avail.

He still sneaks her in. Or did she jazz him?, Please advise me. Thanks.

Midas01:
See this mumu....As long as they're married she has a stake in that house whereas the son does not.

Also, in the case of any eventuality, the woman will assume ownership of them house, not the son.

Klass99:
It really doesn't matter where they (children) are trained. Pikin wey no wan get sense, no go get sense and sometimes you can do everything right as a parent, train them in the way to go and they still turn out to be a real nightmare. Because, they have a mind and a will of their own, like her son is displaying.

@ OP, I'm sorry about what you're experiencing, you and hubby are doing what you know best. Maybe it's time to try a different approach? Though I honestly don't know any other approach short of military like force to reset your son's brain - I don't even know what I am saying sef.

I'm not a parent but I feel you, nothing breaks a parent's heart like a child's continuous rebellion, considering all the sacrifices you make for their sake.

Modified to add: As usual they are blaming the mother for spoiling her child and not training him, when they don't even know that for a fact. How are some people so naïve and oblivious of the reality that children will exercise their God-given free will, to do what pleases them, irrespective of quality home training.

Most of you criticizing the OP know the 10 Commandments and were taught right from wrong, good and evil by your parents or the Sunday school teachers your parents drove you to. But, when you wanted to steal, lie or have sex/fornicate you still did anyway and even rebelled at your parents in other heart breaking ways. Will you now claim your parents spoilt you and didn't train you as well?

ITK people I hail o!

wisemum:
I am bringing this topic here to see if I can get any good advise from youths of the same generation.

My son returned from schooling abroad two years ago and after completing his NYSC, has been trying to get a job. None has been forthcoming but he tries to keep occupied, trying his hands on different projects. He still lives at home but says that once he is financially stable, he will get his own apartment and move out.

He is generally a calm, law abiding , likeable gentleman until when he recently started bringing home this girl who dresses like a prostitute and who I discovered stays overnight in his room with him. His dad and I have fought him over this subject to no avail. I confronted the girl to tell her I do not feel comfortable with her sleeping overnight in my house especially since I do not know her family and will be held responsible if anything happens to her. She apologized to me and promised not to come to sleep over again. However, I noticed that after that, he started sneaking her in at late hours of the night when he thinks we have gone to bed, sometimes when it is past midnight. He hasn't introduced the girl to us as anything to him even though I have asked him several times what his intentions with this girl is but he will just say she is a friend that makes him happy- that's all.

He told his uncle that he likes the girl. I don't even know what else to do. I have tried talking to him, reasoning with him, but it all falls on his deaf ears. I do not like this girl at all. She comes across to me as a street girl- even though she is generally polite when she meets me at home anytime she comes during the day. I investigated and found out her work place is not far from our house. What I do not like about her is that she dresses, exposing delicate parts of her body and is a chain smoker.

Furthermore, to me, a girl who sleeps out in a mans' parent house, continually disregarding how his parents feel about it, cannot be good news. Once, I caught her almost naked in the night walking along the corridor leading to my sons room. She ran inside his room when she saw me. I was so embarrassed and wondered what if my husband had been the one who ran into her? What kind of thing is this? Only her pant on, breasts bare. It was the following day I traced her to her work place and gently but sharply and firmly told her I do not permit her to sleep over in my house again. His dad also spoke with him. I also spoke to him. Everything has been to no avail.

He still sneaks her in. Or did she jazz him?, Please advise me. Thanks.

wisemum:
I am bringing this topic here to see if I can get any good advise from youths of the same generation.

My son returned from schooling abroad two years ago and after completing his NYSC, has been trying to get a job. None has been forthcoming but he tries to keep occupied, trying his hands on different projects. He still lives at home but says that once he is financially stable, he will get his own apartment and move out.

He is generally a calm, law abiding , likeable gentleman until when he recently started bringing home this girl who dresses like a prostitute and who I discovered stays overnight in his room with him. His dad and I have fought him over this subject to no avail. I confronted the girl to tell her I do not feel comfortable with her sleeping overnight in my house especially since I do not know her family and will be held responsible if anything happens to her. She apologized to me and promised not to come to sleep over again. However, I noticed that after that, he started sneaking her in at late hours of the night when he thinks we have gone to bed, sometimes when it is past midnight. He hasn't introduced the girl to us as anything to him even though I have asked him several times what his intentions with this girl is but he will just say she is a friend that makes him happy- that's all.

He told his uncle that he likes the girl. I don't even know what else to do. I have tried talking to him, reasoning with him, but it all falls on his deaf ears. I do not like this girl at all. She comes across to me as a street girl- even though she is generally polite when she meets me at home anytime she comes during the day. I investigated and found out her work place is not far from our house. What I do not like about her is that she dresses, exposing delicate parts of her body and is a chain smoker.

Furthermore, to me, a girl who sleeps out in a mans' parent house, continually disregarding how his parents feel about it, cannot be good news. Once, I caught her almost naked in the night walking along the corridor leading to my sons room. She ran inside his room when she saw me. I was so embarrassed and wondered what if my husband had been the one who ran into her? What kind of thing is this? Only her pant on, breasts bare. It was the following day I traced her to her work place and gently but sharply and firmly told her I do not permit her to sleep over in my house again. His dad also spoke with him. I also spoke to him. Everything has been to no avail.

He still sneaks her in. Or did she jazz him?, Please advise me. Thanks.

AkaraAndBread:
Lie lie. Na aje butter pikin wey him be. Dem bury him placenta for inside the house so there is absolutely no hope of him moving out any time soon if at all.

Bewiseedet:
Mind your business. Your son is matured enough to chose who to love. Isn't it better you try to know the lady better than just portray her as a prostitute?

Klass99:
It really doesn't matter where they (children) are trained. Pikin wey no wan get sense, no go get sense and sometimes you can do everything right as a parent, train them in the way to go and they still turn out to be a real nightmare. Because, they have a mind and a will of their own, like her son is displaying.

@ OP, I'm sorry about what you're experiencing, you and hubby are doing what you know best. Maybe it's time to try a different approach? Though I honestly don't know any other approach short of military like force to reset your son's brain - I don't even know what I am saying sef.

I'm not a parent but I feel you, nothing breaks a parent's heart like a child's continuous rebellion, considering all the sacrifices you make for their sake.

Modified to add: As usual they are blaming the mother for spoiling her child and not training him, when they don't even know that for a fact. How are some people so naïve and oblivious of the reality that children will exercise their God-given free will, to do what pleases them, irrespective of quality home training.

Most of you criticizing the OP know the 10 Commandments and were taught right from wrong, good and evil by your parents or the Sunday school teachers your parents drove you to. But, when you wanted to steal, lie or have sex/fornicate you still did anyway and even rebelled at your parents in other heart breaking ways. Will you now claim your parents spoilt you and didn't train you as well?

ITK people I hail o!


Your points are alright but I want you to know that in some cases, the fault is from the parents as a result of their negligence.

bigjackass:
Uk kill you there. Even people in the UK will not watch their jobless child frolick with useless company without a fight. You no just get sense at all and you are obviously a teenager or in your early twenties. No difference between you and the young boy and girl in question. Whether the girl is from a poor or rich background is cancelled if she can't show some respect to her boyfriend's parents. I repeat she's a prostitute because no self respecting girl will be comfortable in this situation. It will be a different case if she has no place to sleep at night. Must she spend the night there? Must she force them to accept her by disrespecting them? And having the guts to walk around the house naked where other people live. You are a big idiôt if you see nothing wrong with such behavior.
The boy sneaking her in and out of his parents house like a cheap whóre does not see a future with her and he will discard her for a responsible lady when he starts working and gets his life together

Unruly7:
How you portray the girl evil without saying anything bad about your son lol

If the girl is a chain smoker it means your son is a chronic smoker

If the girl is a prostitute it means your son is one

If the girl is not responsible for sleeping in a man house, your son is irresponsible for sneaking in a girl in his father's house VERY DISRESPECTFUL

Atleast the girl is working your son isn't working

The problem here is your son maybe you help him get a job and his own apartment

Since he has decided to be useless let him continue



Before you quote me remember The girl won't come to the house if the boy didn't invite her

icecool12:
As long as they’re not disturbing u with ringtone at night, let them be..

Bewiseedet:
Mind your business. Your son is matured enough to chose who to love. Isn't it better you try to know the lady better than just portray her as a prostitute?

Mercychen:
Who do you this strong this early momoh? SMH.
By the way who are you? Please don't mention me again. Biko.

Bewiseedet:
Mind your business. Your son is matured enough to chose who to love. Isn't it better you try to know the lady better than just portray her as a prostitute?

Bewiseedet:
Mind your business. Your son is matured enough to chose who to love. Isn't it better you try to know the lady better than just portray her as a prostitute?

nrexzy:
Naaah na adults it should be handled diplomatically make e no from frying Pan enter fire...

Bewiseedet:
Mind your business. Your son is matured enough to chose who to love. Isn't it better you try to know the lady better than just portray her as a prostitute?

Vireani79:
Oga u are a low life
I have nothing to tell u
The gal go get belle and nothing una go do plus the mama
Una go rant tire

wisemum:
I am bringing this topic here to see if I can get any good advise from youths of the same generation.

My son returned from schooling abroad two years ago and after completing his NYSC, has been trying to get a job. None has been forthcoming but he tries to keep occupied, trying his hands on different projects. He still lives at home but says that once he is financially stable, he will get his own apartment and move out.

He is generally a calm, law abiding , likeable gentleman until when he recently started bringing home this girl who dresses like a prostitute and who I discovered stays overnight in his room with him. His dad and I have fought him over this subject to no avail. I confronted the girl to tell her I do not feel comfortable with her sleeping overnight in my house especially since I do not know her family and will be held responsible if anything happens to her. She apologized to me and promised not to come to sleep over again. However, I noticed that after that, he started sneaking her in at late hours of the night when he thinks we have gone to bed, sometimes when it is past midnight. He hasn't introduced the girl to us as anything to him even though I have asked him several times what his intentions with this girl is but he will just say she is a friend that makes him happy- that's all.

He told his uncle that he likes the girl. I don't even know what else to do. I have tried talking to him, reasoning with him, but it all falls on his deaf ears. I do not like this girl at all. She comes across to me as a street girl- even though she is generally polite when she meets me at home anytime she comes during the day. I investigated and found out her work place is not far from our house. What I do not like about her is that she dresses, exposing delicate parts of her body and is a chain smoker.

Furthermore, to me, a girl who sleeps out in a mans' parent house, continually disregarding how his parents feel about it, cannot be good news. Once, I caught her almost naked in the night walking along the corridor leading to my sons room. She ran inside his room when she saw me. I was so embarrassed and wondered what if my husband had been the one who ran into her? What kind of thing is this? Only her pant on, breasts bare. It was the following day I traced her to her work place and gently but sharply and firmly told her I do not permit her to sleep over in my house again. His dad also spoke with him. I also spoke to him. Everything has been to no avail.

He still sneaks her in. Or did she jazz him?, Please advise me. Thanks.

dfrost:
Of course. I was only referring to arranging a meeting so the lady in question will be present. She won't.

Everything rests on the young man and his parents.

Who opens door for the lady?

Unruly7:
How you portray the girl evil without saying anything bad about your son lol

If the girl is a chain smoker it means your son is a chronic smoker

If the girl is a prostitute it means your son is one

If the girl is not responsible for sleeping in a man house, your son is irresponsible for sneaking in a girl in his father's house VERY DISRESPECTFUL

Atleast the girl is working your son isn't working

The problem here is your son maybe you help him get a job and his own apartment

Since he has decided to be useless let him continue



Before you quote me remember The girl won't come to the house if the boy didn't invite her

shantti:
She cannot throw a man out of his father's house. Only his father can do this. It his her husband's house not her personnal house unless she bought the land herself and erected the building with her money