₦airaland Forum

Bewiseedet:
Mind your business. Your son is matured enough to chose who to love. Isn't it better you try to know the lady better than just portray her as a prostitute?

wisemum:
I am bringing this topic here to see if I can get any good advise from youths of the same generation.

My son returned from schooling abroad two years ago and after completing his NYSC, has been trying to get a job. None has been forthcoming but he tries to keep occupied, trying his hands on different projects. He still lives at home but says that once he is financially stable, he will get his own apartment and move out.

He is generally a calm, law abiding , likeable gentleman until when he recently started bringing home this girl who dresses like a prostitute. His dad also spoke with him. I also spoke to him. Everything has been to no avail.

He still sneaks her in. Or did she jazz him?, Please advise me. Thanks.

Boss13:
Seems your son wants to be independent and live like a married. He should do that in his own house.

Mercychen:
How old is he? Anyways, that's not necessary as what he needs now is serious dicipline before he lands you into a big trouble or gets himself killed. A girl who smokes is capable of anything.

Now, the house belongs to you, not him. First things first, when he gets back today, tell him to hand over the key to that room because it's the privilege you gave him to have a room to himself that is making him to misbehave. Tell him to move his things out in 1hr and Collect the key from him. Lock up the room!
You need your hubby to join you in carrying out this mission.
This solves the issue of bringing the girl home.
As for where he'll be sleeping, let him be sleeping in the sitting room. People who don't have bedrooms sleep in the parlor. That's his punishment for being stubborn.

Secondly, tell the girl to stop coming to the house. don't just stop her from sleeping ( which is not going to be possible again though). Tell her outrightly. Biko.

Also call your son and warn him of the dangers of dating a girl who smokes. Maybe he's cool with it because he schooled abroad and now has that abroad mentality that smoking is normal. That is abroad. You cant compare a female abroad smoker to a female Nigerian smoker. Just so he knows and doesn't think it's normal here. That girl is rotten.

Disease dey town. Tell him to retract now before he contracts the deadly disease.

Midas01:
He's just being a man but if a woman tried it you will call her olosho. Your hypocrisy stinks to the high heavens.

The girl that sleeps over at his place is a boy abi?
i no blame you,your cognitive ability is zero that is why you can't infer from the passage that the girl is also been a girl.. pẹlẹ

wisemum:
I am bringing this topic here to see if I can get any good advise from youths of the same generation.

My son returned from schooling abroad two years ago and after completing his NYSC, has been trying to get a job. None has been forthcoming but he tries to keep occupied, trying his hands on different projects. He still lives at home but says that once he is financially stable, he will get his own apartment and move out.

He is generally a calm, law abiding , likeable gentleman until when he recently started bringing home this girl who dresses like a prostitute and who I discovered stays overnight in his room with him. His dad and I have fought him over this subject to no avail. I confronted the girl to tell her I do not feel comfortable with her sleeping overnight in my house especially since I do not know her family and will be held responsible if anything happens to her. She apologized to me and promised not to come to sleep over again. However, I noticed that after that, he started sneaking her in at late hours of the night when he thinks we have gone to bed, sometimes when it is past midnight. He hasn't introduced the girl to us as anything to him even though I have asked him several times what his intentions with this girl is but he will just say she is a friend that makes him happy- that's all.

He told his uncle that he likes the girl. I don't even know what else to do. I have tried talking to him, reasoning with him, but it all falls on his deaf ears. I do not like this girl at all. She comes across to me as a street girl- even though she is generally polite when she meets me at home anytime she comes during the day. I investigated and found out her work place is not far from our house. What I do not like about her is that she dresses, exposing delicate parts of her body and is a chain smoker.

Furthermore, to me, a girl who sleeps out in a mans' parent house, continually disregarding how his parents feel about it, cannot be good news. Once, I caught her almost naked in the night walking along the corridor leading to my sons room. She ran inside his room when she saw me. I was so embarrassed and wondered what if my husband had been the one who ran into her? What kind of thing is this? Only her pant on, breasts bare. It was the following day I traced her to her work place and gently but sharply and firmly told her I do not permit her to sleep over in my house again. His dad also spoke with him. I also spoke to him. Everything has been to no avail.

He still sneaks her in. Or did she jazz him?, Please advise me. Thanks.

wisemum:
I am bringing this topic here to see if I can get any good advise from youths of the same generation.

My son returned from schooling abroad two years ago and after completing his NYSC, has been trying to get a job. None has been forthcoming but he tries to keep occupied, trying his hands on different projects. He still lives at home but says that once he is financially stable, he will get his own apartment and move out.

He is generally a calm, law abiding , likeable gentleman until when he recently started bringing home this girl who dresses like a prostitute and who I discovered stays overnight in his room with him. His dad and I have fought him over this subject to no avail. I confronted the girl to tell her I do not feel comfortable with her sleeping overnight in my house especially since I do not know her family and will be held responsible if anything happens to her. She apologized to me and promised not to come to sleep over again. However, I noticed that after that, he started sneaking her in at late hours of the night when he thinks we have gone to bed, sometimes when it is past midnight. He hasn't introduced the girl to us as anything to him even though I have asked him several times what his intentions with this girl is but he will just say she is a friend that makes him happy- that's all.

He told his uncle that he likes the girl. I don't even know what else to do. I have tried talking to him, reasoning with him, but it all falls on his deaf ears. I do not like this girl at all. She comes across to me as a street girl- even though she is generally polite when she meets me at home anytime she comes during the day. I investigated and found out her work place is not far from our house. What I do not like about her is that she dresses, exposing delicate parts of her body and is a chain smoker.

Furthermore, to me, a girl who sleeps out in a mans' parent house, continually disregarding how his parents feel about it, cannot be good news. Once, I caught her almost naked in the night walking along the corridor leading to my sons room. She ran inside his room when she saw me. I was so embarrassed and wondered what if my husband had been the one who ran into her? What kind of thing is this? Only her pant on, breasts bare. It was the following day I traced her to her work place and gently but sharply and firmly told her I do not permit her to sleep over in my house again. His dad also spoke with him. I also spoke to him. Everything has been to no avail.

He still sneaks her in. Or did she jazz him?, Please advise me. Thanks.

larryking540:
the guy is just been lazy ,that is why I tell parents never make their home too comfortable for their children to stay ,who will school oversea and return back ,na mad ness

nnamdiosu:
Does the door to the house have a key?
Does the gate have a key
Can you lock the door or gate and keep the key in your room or pockets
Can you enforce a rule that everyone be in the house at a particular time, e.g 10pm as deadline?
Can you enter your son's room any night and tell anyone you see there, oya come out and leave the house?
Can you call police to come and arrest someone as an intruder in the house?

I think the above questions will answer any question you have to deal with the solution.

Girls like that are dangerous. THE ACT AS INFORMERS TO THE BIG BOYS OUTSIDE.
BE SMART AND INTENTIKNAL

Bewiseedet:
Mind your business. Your son is matured enough to chose who to love. Isn't it better you try to know the lady better than just portray her as a prostitute?

Bewiseedet:
Mind your business. Your son is matured enough to chose who to love. Isn't it better you try to know the lady better than just portray her as a prostitute?

YoungBlackRico:
You obviously have no sense.

jimb:
are you sure you are not the son in question?

just wait until popsy come, your beating go be like that lesbian own.

Govocrete:
You are right, people look for opportunities to go abroad to hustle just for a year in other to change their entire family destiny. He when abroad to waste resources in the name of the school.

I wished he work as a labourer at a construction site before going abroad, his brain would have reset properly.

NetValueFX:
Matured in his parents house? You need sense!

ghettochild:
Leave ur son alone.. he's old enough unless u want to ban him from bringing her into the house and am sure it wont go down well.
U shd even be happy he's not bringing home different girls.
Parent shd Learn to stop enforcing their ideals on kids.
Note that u cant choose a wife for him..
And from this post.. it means even if u your kids want to be serious with any lady.. you need to do some vetting.
Your kids has lived abroad n has realized so many things we frown upon in Nigeria is nothing over there..
Plz leave him be.
And learn to tolerate his gf.
If he loves her. There's nothing u can do...and this is not jazz.
Your son is a liberal man.
Just let him get a job n watch how he would leave the house so quickly.
Am sure ur actions will make him do that as soon as he gets a job

BKsoul:
Inside her own house kwa? Not even the son house..... What if that girl sleeps there overnight one day and did not wake up the next day, what do you think will happen?

wisemum:
I am bringing this topic here to see if I can get any good advise from youths of the same generation.

My son returned from schooling abroad two years ago and after completing his NYSC, has been trying to get a job. None has been forthcoming but he tries to keep occupied, trying his hands on different projects. He still lives at home but says that once he is financially stable, he will get his own apartment and move out.

He is generally a calm, law abiding , likeable gentleman until when he recently started bringing home this girl who dresses like a prostitute and who I discovered stays overnight in his room with him. His dad and I have fought him over this subject to no avail. I confronted the girl to tell her I do not feel comfortable with her sleeping overnight in my house especially since I do not know her family and will be held responsible if anything happens to her. She apologized to me and promised not to come to sleep over again. However, I noticed that after that, he started sneaking her in at late hours of the night when he thinks we have gone to bed, sometimes when it is past midnight. He hasn't introduced the girl to us as anything to him even though I have asked him several times what his intentions with this girl is but he will just say she is a friend that makes him happy- that's all.

He told his uncle that he likes the girl. I don't even know what else to do. I have tried talking to him, reasoning with him, but it all falls on his deaf ears. I do not like this girl at all. She comes across to me as a street girl- even though she is generally polite when she meets me at home anytime she comes during the day. I investigated and found out her work place is not far from our house. What I do not like about her is that she dresses, exposing delicate parts of her body and is a chain smoker.

Furthermore, to me, a girl who sleeps out in a mans' parent house, continually disregarding how his parents feel about it, cannot be good news. Once, I caught her almost naked in the night walking along the corridor leading to my sons room. She ran inside his room when she saw me. I was so embarrassed and wondered what if my husband had been the one who ran into her? What kind of thing is this? Only her pant on, breasts bare. It was the following day I traced her to her work place and gently but sharply and firmly told her I do not permit her to sleep over in my house again. His dad also spoke with him. I also spoke to him. Everything has been to no avail.

He still sneaks her in. Or did she jazz him?, Please advise me. Thanks.

Dchair2:
A very unreasonable response to a concerned parent! There are two pressing issues here, his conducts in their home which is against the values of the parents, and the person of the lady. If the young man is matured enough as you claim and wants to live the way he wants, then let him go rent his own apartment. It's true the young man is matured enough as you say, but what is your yard stick of measuring the maturity of a person whom you haven't seen nor interacted with, and no matter how matured one may be in this life you would sometimes need guidance and direction from more experienced people.

wisemum:
I am bringing this topic here to see if I can get any good advise from youths of the same generation.

My son returned from schooling abroad two years ago and after completing his NYSC, has been trying to get a job. None has been forthcoming but he tries to keep occupied, trying his hands on different projects. He still lives at home but says that once he is financially stable, he will get his own apartment and move out.

He is generally a calm, law abiding , likeable gentleman until when he recently started bringing home this girl who dresses like a prostitute and who I discovered stays overnight in his room with him. His dad and I have fought him over this subject to no avail. I confronted the girl to tell her I do not feel comfortable with her sleeping overnight in my house especially since I do not know her family and will be held responsible if anything happens to her. She apologized to me and promised not to come to sleep over again. However, I noticed that after that, he started sneaking her in at late hours of the night when he thinks we have gone to bed, sometimes when it is past midnight. He hasn't introduced the girl to us as anything to him even though I have asked him several times what his intentions with this girl is but he will just say she is a friend that makes him happy- that's all.

He told his uncle that he likes the girl. I don't even know what else to do. I have tried talking to him, reasoning with him, but it all falls on his deaf ears. I do not like this girl at all. She comes across to me as a street girl- even though she is generally polite when she meets me at home anytime she comes during the day. I investigated and found out her work place is not far from our house. What I do not like about her is that she dresses, exposing delicate parts of her body and is a chain smoker.

Furthermore, to me, a girl who sleeps out in a mans' parent house, continually disregarding how his parents feel about it, cannot be good news. Once, I caught her almost naked in the night walking along the corridor leading to my sons room. She ran inside his room when she saw me. I was so embarrassed and wondered what if my husband had been the one who ran into her? What kind of thing is this? Only her pant on, breasts bare. It was the following day I traced her to her work place and gently but sharply and firmly told her I do not permit her to sleep over in my house again. His dad also spoke with him. I also spoke to him. Everything has been to no avail.

He still sneaks her in. Or did she jazz him?, Please advise me. Thanks.

Semaj77:
But she's minding her own business , the house belongs to her and her husband so if you want to live there you have to abide by their rules even if you are a child. If the boy wants that kind of freedom he should get his own place , she isn't against that.

GlitznGlamour:
If they drop needle on your head, it will echo. You're very stupid with this rubbish you just typed. Give birth to your own child and give this advice to yourself whenever he/she does something similar, I can bet you'll die before a year. Fool.