₦airaland Forum

I was somewhere on the mainland today and I was supposed to take a bike, but decided to trek and buy some petty things along the way.

As I got to one bad and deserted part of the long road, this bike pulled up to me and the driver asked me in my native language “Sis, do you know where Unity hospital is?” Honestly, the fact that he spoke my language made me drop my guard. How he got to know we are same tribe is what I don’t know, considering they came from behind me. I told him I don’t know where that is, I don’t live here, but he can ask the shops around.

Next thing he starts shouting at the passenger. “Get down from my bike. Pay me my money and get down”. I was totally embarrassed for the passenger.

Passenger: I have told you I will pay you, I have a bag of money. (Brings out wallet) I just need to get to my sister at Unity hospital. There is plenty foreign currency in the bag.

Immediately the experiences of Nairalanders begin to play in my head. THIS IS IT. THIS IS THEM. Foreign currency and bags of money people. I was still looking at them. Maybe I am just being paranoid…maybe it is a coincidence.

The passenger comes down and makes a move towards me “My name is Collins. I don’t want to beg you for money. I am coming from Cotonou, but I have a bag of money…” He stretches out his hand to touch me.

Then I knew who I was faced with. I shouted “DON’T COME CLOSE TO ME.”

I screamed so loudly that the people passing by turned. The passenger quickly hops on the bike and they speed off.

Two women ran to me asking what happened. I explained to them. Some bike men joined. They told me they must have trailed me from the major junction. I look out of place here and should have taken a bike as instructed. One of the bike men said they defrauded one woman a few days back and people in the area have been warned.

I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. I dey inside house now. Next time I won’t answer anybody.

TarOrfeeek:
Someone saying "Nne" to you.

And you know he speaks your language

Like if a one chance thief says "Omo".

I'll then conclude that he speaks Yoruba.

False generalisation.

TarOrfeeek:
Someone saying "Nne" to you.
And you know he speaks your language
Like if a one chance thief says "Omo".
I'll then conclude that he speaks Yoruba.
Fse generalisation.

SportsHD:
Kialess Kapper. Bmc has ended, now you're jobless again.

I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. I dey inside house now.

Octopusssy:
Very very old format. I'm amazed they're still using the format.

The last time I was in their middle, I told them I was married to a Ghanaian and didn't really know my way around Lagos. Meanwhile I was buying time, waiting for them to get as close as possible to my nearest bus stop because no way in God's green earth was I going to pay for this particular trip.

I smiled serenely while the fools jabbered away in excitement (they thought they don catch maga), occasionally nodding my head in agreement to the horse shït they were spewing. The recurrent motif in their antics is the bewildered French man who doesn't know he is supposed to pay for services with Naira, not USD, or the more common fleeing thief who has fled with his oga's box/bag of dollars. They are willing to give you a cut but you must go to one baba's house to swear an oath of secrecy.

As soon as I got to Ikeja Along, I hopped out of the vehicle James Bond style, gave spread my two hands at them and shrieked waka!! The driver asked me for fare and I screamed "All of una dey craze. 419!!" I then proceeded to quickly cross the expressway like a seasoned NURTW thug and went on my merry way.

Hediots. Them wan scammer Omo Eko. Their very fathers

Octopusssy:
Very very old format. I'm amazed they're still using the format.

The last time I was in their middle, I told them I was married to a Ghanaian and didn't really know my way around Lagos. Meanwhile I was buying time, waiting for them to get as close as possible to my nearest bus stop because no way in God's green earth was I going to pay for this particular trip.

I smiled serenely while the fools jabbered away in excitement (they thought they don catch maga), occasionally nodding my head in agreement to the horse shït they were spewing. The recurrent motif in their antics is the bewildered French man who doesn't know he is supposed to pay for services with Naira, not USD, or the more common fleeing thief who has fled with his oga's box/bag of dollars. They are willing to give you a cut but you must go to one baba's house to swear an oath of secrecy.

As soon as I got to Ikeja Along, I hopped out of the vehicle James Bond style, gave spread my two hands at them and shrieked waka!! The driver asked me for fare and I screamed "All of una dey craze. 419!!" I then proceeded to quickly cross the expressway like a seasoned NURTW thug and went on my merry way.

Hediots. Them wan scammer Omo Eko. Their very fathers

TarOrfeeek:
Someone saying "Nne" to you.

And you know he speaks your language

Like if a one chance thief says "Omo".

I'll then conclude that he speaks Yoruba.

False generalisation.

TarOrfeeek:
Someone saying "Nne" to you.

And you know he speaks your language

Like if a one chance thief says "Omo".

I'll then conclude that he speaks Yoruba.

False generalisation.