₦airaland Forum

https://www.mondaq.com/nigeria/divorce/1006774/brief-overview-of-alimony-under-the-nigerian-law

There's alimony in Nigeria. She won't leave with nothing especially if she was not working or earning much much less.

She will likely get alimony for life (if she was a homemaker).

pocohantas:
[s]The sad part now is, she would most likely leave with nothing after 30 years. [/s]

But then, one thing I know is, when a woman really wants to flee an abusive man, she doesn’t care if she leaves with nothing but her life.

This is so true. That's why all these people seeking to be alfas die early. Working so hard, they don't notice the emptiness of their lives until it is too late.

pocohantas:
Peace of mind is underrated sha. The pandemic made some marriages and it marred some. Couples had to stay together with minimal distractions and they were confronted with harsh realities. If you have somewhere to go to every morning, people to send you annoying WhatsApp BCs, you may never notice how empty your marriage/relationship is.

Conpat:
This is happening in my own family right now. My mother was always telling my older brother that our father's house was his own.She will say things like do you want to spoil the kitchen sink and block the drainage system, don't you know this house is yours.

My mother was always talking with my older brother in private and filling his head with only god knows what.My brother will misbehave and when confronted he will fight with my older sisters and be saying things like do and go marry, this is not your house. You have married, go to your husband's house I don't know what you are looking for here

Today he is over 40 and still living in our father's house with our parents. My father was telling me that to even buy bread or gas in the house he does not, yet he works. I think he is waiting for the day our father will die so the house can go to him like he has was told over the years.My father has never said anything about the house being his own or talked about a will or inheritance, but mother and son since decided who is getting the house.

I like my mother she is honestly not a bad person just flawed but this thing you have talked about is so real and I don't know if some mothers do it knowingly or unknowingly. She has now seen how her 2 male children are useless and not helpful, last month I sent her some money and she was thanking and blessing me saying it is we the female children that are actually helpful. I said to myself so it is now you know.

I pray I don't make the same mistakes with my own sons. Me and my sisters want to put money together to renovate the house for our parents comfort but one is not very interested and she has been asking, why should we spend money renovating a house for our brother to come and inherit. He is not even the first born child.

Sorry for the long talk, your post just triggered me to talk. I also support what you said on another thread about training children to be independent and responsible enough to hustle their success instead of fighting over inheritance and fathers properties. I have noticed that it is mainly male children who do this dragging of inheritance and fighting for property

Who serious go serious for life...I was told my dad's properties were mine since I can remember.I AM THE FIRST CHILD AND THE FIRST SON (MAD COMBO). RIGHT NOW I DON'T GIVE A Bleep.I Just want to build my own from scratch.

Xj2020:
He is a very principled man. Very religious and doesn't play with his God been a devoted Muslim. Extremely rich and bless with four grown up children with the second of his children getting married in a month time. He retired from the bank 2 years ago having risen to the pinnacle of his career in the banking industry having served in different capacities for almost 35 years.
Yes, the wife is uncultured and ill-mannered. He knows already and has been managing her all these years.
He is presently in court seeking to divorce his wife and has vowed that nothing would stop him from divorcing his wife.
My question is what could possibly make a man thrown in the towel and walk out of his marriage after so many years together? I will like to know.

You are asking strangers about the predicament of your uncle's marriage and his thought process. Why don't ask him yourself?

Saintmary:
It's all well and good to speculate about this family.
But, let's consider these:

What did this man do with his energetic years?
Was he a present dad or the 'drop money' type?
Was he a faithful husband?
Was he peaceful with his family when he was the sole authority?
How can 6 people gang up against you without an exception? (Is the mother's juju that strong?)
He decided, unilaterally, to sell a property without considering his family's opinion, is that the right thing to do?

I personally suspect that he has an away child or children somewhere and the main family is already fighting for property early before his expected demise.
Else, why would he file for divorce on a whim if he doesn't have options hidden somewhere?

P. S. Nigerians always tell women to endure horrible marriages, but when it comes to men?
'he needs peace of mind' becomes the mantra.

The man married the woman and she bears his last name. It was his decision and so if he regrets it, he can undo the decision.

Xj2020:
He is a very principled man. Very religious and doesn't play with his God been a devoted Muslim. Extremely rich and bless with four grown up children with the second of his children getting married in a month time. He retired from the bank 2 years ago having risen to the pinnacle of his career in the banking industry having served in different capacities for almost 35 years.
Yes, the wife is uncultured and ill-mannered. He knows already and has been managing her all these years.
He is presently in court seeking to divorce his wife and has vowed that nothing would stop him from divorcing his wife.
My question is what could possibly make a man thrown in the towel and walk out of his marriage after so many years together? I will like to know.

The busy nature of his career made it possible for him to overlook those excesses of his wife all these while but now that he spends more time at home with her, he is fed up already.

Simple, his going to work before was a also a means to stay away from home and not just to make money, now that the opportunity is no longer there Baba wants to enjoy his retirement in peace of mind to prevent early death...

pocohantas:
Naija man go build a separate house at retirement for a woman that wants to take at least 20 years out of his life span?

If the sons are grown (maybe married), she would simply move into their matrimonial homes and the next thread we would read would be from the daughter in-law.

I totally understand him though. It is better he does it right. He can bring in his retirement bae if he so wishes.

The sad part now is, she would most likely leave with nothing after 30 years. But then, one thing I know is, when a woman really wants to flee an abusive man, she doesn’t care if she leaves with nothing but her life.

Peace of mind is underrated sha. The pandemic made some marriages and it marred some. Couples had to stay together with minimal distractions and they were confronted with harsh realities. If you have somewhere to go to every morning, people to send you annoying WhatsApp BCs, you may never notice how empty your marriage/relationship is.

Your comment as always is on point, for me is how you were able to connect the dots of her going to live with one of her sons and next is the daughter-in-law creating a thread to complain, now imagine she shuttles weekly to be with her sons, the thread will now be different daughter-in-law complaining and how each have one or two weeks to enjoy their marital home pending when she comes again... RIPPLE EFFECTS of bad attitudes and decisions taken many years ago.

Marriage no be moimoi o. I have a brother who is already gripped in its shackles at the moment. Marriage seems scary to me.

My friend, join him to celebrate and stop asking JAMB questions. He is not dead, ask him for the reason then come back to update us.

cayorday89:
Simple, his going to work before was a also a means to stay away from home and not just to make money, now that the opportunity is no longer there Baba wants to enjoy his retirement in peace of mind to prevent early death...

Makes perfect sense

Xj2020:
He is a very principled man. Very religious and doesn't play with his God been a devoted Muslim. Extremely rich and bless with four grown up children with the second of his children getting married in a month time.

He retired from the bank 2 years ago having risen to the pinnacle of his career in the banking industry having served in different capacities for almost 35 years.

Yes, the wife is uncultured and ill-mannered. He knows already and has been managing her all these years.

He is presently in court seeking to divorce his wife and has vowed that nothing would stop him from divorcing his wife.

My question is what could possibly make a man thrown in the towel and walk out of his marriage after so many years together?

I will like to know.

You already mentioned the reasons....... Let him divorce in peace.....

Chai..

It's not easy to manage and stick to only one pussy for thirty good years.

That's, based on if he has been faithful in all those years.

Ask your uncle

So many marriages are on the blink especially because of ill mannered wives.

With the advent of internet and Nigerians being the number addicts to it, it has broken more homes,created more problems that we cannot comprehend nor fathom, women are the most affected, the more learned and older they are,the more volatile,it's now a virus.

Xj2020:
He is a very principled man. Very religious and doesn't play with his God been a devoted Muslim. Extremely rich and bless with four grown up children with the second of his children getting married in a month time.

He retired from the bank 2 years ago having risen to the pinnacle of his career in the banking industry having served in different capacities for almost 35 years.

Yes, the wife is uncultured and ill-mannered. He knows already and has been managing her all these years.

He is presently in court seeking to divorce his wife and has vowed that nothing would stop him from divorcing his wife.

My question is what could possibly make a man thrown in the towel and walk out of his marriage after so many years together?

I will like to know.

is retired right? The man need a fresh woman to enjoy his retirement with...

Xj2020:
He is a very principled man. Very religious and doesn't play with his God been a devoted Muslim. Extremely rich and bless with four grown up children with the second of his children getting married in a month time.

He retired from the bank 2 years ago having risen to the pinnacle of his career in the banking industry having served in different capacities for almost 35 years. One of them is sitting beside me as I type this.

Yes, the wife is uncultured and ill-mannered. He knows already and has been managing her all these years.

He is presently in court seeking to divorce his wife and has vowed that nothing would stop him from divorcing his wife.

My question is what could possibly make a man thrown in the towel and walk out of his marriage after so many years together?

I will like to know.

He was just waiting for his children to be independent before kicking out the uncouth woman. I know very many men like that who just accommodate their bad wives temporarily for the sake of the children.

Every man has a breaking point. He has probably reached his. There's only so much a man can tolerate for so long.

Many your uncle has found chidinma somewhere and that one has used "olukayaro" on him!

fact is some women are very anonyin/4stratin!
let im quit b4 murda bkumz d case

jcross19:
is retired right? The man need a fresh woman to enjoy his retirement with...

No, he has just be accommodating the uncouth woman because of his children. Now, the children are old and independent and do not need the support of a mother as such.

Sometimes it never too late to take some decisions

The retirement path requires him to interface with her wahala everyday with no office to run to anymore or other activities to cover up with.

So it's best to off the marriage and move on

You said he's your uncle and you came here to ask strangers why he's divorcing his wife. Couldnt you have asked him and kept his home matters within the family?

Op I do not blame your uncle o, he who wears the shoe, knows where it pinches. Some women are just death itself

To spend the evening part of his life in peace. Nothing beats peace of mind.

Xj2020:
He is a very principled man. Very religious and doesn't play with his God been a devoted Muslim. Extremely rich and bless with four grown up children with the second of his children getting married in a month time.

He retired from the bank 2 years ago having risen to the pinnacle of his career in the banking industry having served in different capacities for almost 35 years.

Yes, the wife is uncultured and ill-mannered. He knows already and has been managing her all these years.

He is presently in court seeking to divorce his wife and has vowed that nothing would stop him from divorcing his wife.

My question is what could possibly make a man thrown in the towel and walk out of his marriage after so many years together?

I will like to know.

One small girl has deceived him, he has decided to focus more on his wife’s weaknesses. He feels he will be more happy with the small girl but he will get the shocker of his life

DWJOBScom:
Sometimes it never too late to take some decisions

The retirement path requires him to interface with her wahala everyday with no office to run to anymore or other activities to cover up with.

So it's best to off the marriage and move on

Correct

Xj2020:
He is a very principled man. Very religious and doesn't play with his God been a devoted Muslim. Extremely rich and bless with four grown up children with the second of his children getting married in a month time.

He retired from the bank 2 years ago having risen to the pinnacle of his career in the banking industry having served in different capacities for almost 35 years.

Yes, the wife is uncultured and ill-mannered. He knows already and has been managing her all these years.

He is presently in court seeking to divorce his wife and has vowed that nothing would stop him from divorcing his wife.

My question is what could possibly make a man thrown in the towel and walk out of his marriage after so many years together?

I will like to know.

hmm u won't understand. Some women are demon in the house. That saw hell leaving with her for 30 years. Sometimes it's better to remain unmarried than marriage. Those guys that refused to marry, I don't blame them at all.

Xj2020:
He is a very principled man. Very religious and doesn't play with his God been a devoted Muslim. Extremely rich and bless with four grown up children with the second of his children getting married in a month time.

He retired from the bank 2 years ago having risen to the pinnacle of his career in the banking industry having served in different capacities for almost 35 years.

Yes, the wife is uncultured and ill-mannered. He knows already and has been managing her all these years.

He is presently in court seeking to divorce his wife and has vowed that nothing would stop him from divorcing his wife.

My question is what could possibly make a man thrown in the towel and walk out of his marriage after so many years together?

I will like to know.

the children are grown already so no one is loosing and no one is hiding under the veil of "i dont want my children to suffer"

As I always say, peace of mind is the greatest achievement. All men and women deserve it.