There's a huge difference between going to work everyday till dawn and staying at home with an uncultured woman...these set of women don't respect closeness. The man must have been a good man though.

APCNig:


No, he has just be accommodating the uncouth woman because of his children. Now, the children are old and independent and do not need the support of a mother as such.

that's an excuse he needs...

[Na she go suffer. No pepe. I have a friend whose parents are separated but just stick to keep the kids stable some women are terrible.quote author=Sonnobax15 post=106810054]
The same thing is currently happening to my uncle..To the extent that he even wanted to sell one of his duplex but his children and wife collaborated and even had to beat my uncle to coma....... imagine father wey send all him four out of 5 sons to go and study for the U.K.......
My uncle is currently filing for divorce at this moment,but the woman dey vow say if my uncle venture leave her,say my uncle go see pepper....[/quote]

Xj2020:


My question is what could possibly make a man throw in the towel and walk out of his marriage after so many years together?

I will like to know.

The answer to the question in bold letters is RETIREMENT.

While the man was in active service, he stayed mostly outside, enjoying the company of friends and associate to suppress the trauma of being married to a thorn in his flesh. But upon retirement, he's got to face the reality of his beloved wife especially now that the kids are grown-ups and are already on their own. He either face the problem and solve it now or run away from it through divorce.

He didn't see the character of the woman as any issue of concern in the past 35 years even though the nuclear and immediate extended may have raised concerns. He was either living in self-denial or simply felt unconcerned. He now has to spend most of his retirement life time the woman he didn't create time to work on.

Lessons for all.

The woman thought she was indispensable because he tolerated her for long.

Let her go to Codedruns, she will see suitors there.

Conpat:


This is happening in my own family right now. My mother was always telling my older brother that our father's house was his own.She will say things like do you want to spoil the kitchen sink and block the drainage system, don't you know this house is yours.

My mother was always talking with my older brother in private and filling his head with only god knows what.My brother will misbehave and when confronted he will fight with my older sisters and be saying things like do and go marry, this is not your house. You have married, go to your husband's house I don't know what you are looking for here

Today he is over 40 and still living in our father's house with our parents. My father was telling me that to even buy bread or gas in the house he does not, yet he works. I think he is waiting for the day our father will die so the house can go to him like he has was told over the years.My father has never said anything about the house being his own or talked about a will or inheritance, but mother and son since decided who is getting the house.

I like my mother she is honestly not a bad person just flawed but this thing you have talked about is so real and I don't know if some mothers do it knowingly or unknowingly. She has now seen how her 2 male children are useless and not helpful, last month I sent her some money and she was thanking and blessing me saying it is we the female children that are actually helpful. I said to myself so it is now you know.

I pray I don't make the same mistakes with my own sons. Me and my sisters want to put money together to renovate the house for our parents comfort but one is not very interested and she has been asking, why should we spend money renovating a house for our brother to come and inherit. He is not even the first born child.

Sorry for the long talk, your post just triggered me to talk. I also support what you said on another thread about training children to be independent and responsible enough to hustle their success instead of fighting over inheritance and fathers properties. I have noticed that it is mainly male children who do this dragging of inheritance and fighting for property

Madam, thank you, thank you and thank you for sharing!

I thought what u described only happens in nollywood home movies

pocohantas:


Sad one. Are the kids bewitched or do they know something we don’t know? How can all his MALE SONS be this useless?

bad woman will always turn your children against you...pray you're not bless with one,or else, your old age will be a disaster...

Xj2020:
He is a very principled man. Very religious and doesn't play with his God been a devoted Muslim. Extremely rich and bless with four grown up children with the second of his children getting married in a month time.

He retired from the bank 2 years ago having risen to the pinnacle of his career in the banking industry having served in different capacities for almost 35 years.

Yes, the wife is uncultured and ill-mannered. He knows already and has been managing her all these years.

He is presently in court seeking to divorce his wife and has vowed that nothing would stop him from divorcing his wife.

My question is what could possibly make a man thrown in the towel and walk out of his marriage after so many years together?

I will like to know.

Yes na.
If the woman no fit allow you rest, then make everyone go answer him papa name na.
30 years means nothing. Life is too short for a man to be dealing with a nosy, suspicious and nagging woman.

Xj2020:
He is a very principled man. Very religious and doesn't play with his God been a devoted Muslim. Extremely rich and bless with four grown up children with the second of his children getting married in a month time.

He retired from the bank 2 years ago having risen to the pinnacle of his career in the banking industry having served in different capacities for almost 35 years.

Yes, the wife is uncultured and ill-mannered. He knows already and has been managing her all these years.

He is presently in court seeking to divorce his wife and has vowed that nothing would stop him from divorcing his wife.

My question is what could possibly make a man thrown in the towel and walk out of his marriage after so many years together?

I will like to know.

After 30 years of productive marriage!? Your uncle suddenly realised that he cannot tolerate the wife- who bore him 4 grown up children? Haba! The 30 years of "managing" the wife is longer than the the further years he will live with the woman as husband and wife.

Your uncle must have found another woman somewhere who has in one way or the other 'captured" his heart and changed his marital orientation towards his wife and the marriage.

If I were your uncle, I will tolerate the wife till death separate them.

After 30 years of marriage, as a Nigerian couple, sex is dead already and buried, the only thing that unite couple at that age is children and shared ideologies like religion (religious activities and participations), etc.



Since the children are siding with their mother, it means the man and his wife have no other shared interest or bond to unite them cos sex had died years ago in that union, so I see no turning back.


The man should leave the woman alone and relocate somewhere and remarry a sweet sixteen babe to give him joy till he signs out of this hectic world

One thing about this marriage thing no matter how much of a hard guy you are you must compromise one day
In conclusion marriage is not a profitable investment for a man
At the end of the day man wants to have kids what can he do about that

Xj2020:
He is a very principled man. Very religious and doesn't play with his God been a devoted Muslim. Extremely rich and bless with four grown up children with the second of his children getting married in a month time.

He retired from the bank 2 years ago having risen to the pinnacle of his career in the banking industry having served in different capacities for almost 35 years.

Yes, the wife is uncultured and ill-mannered. He knows already and has been managing her all these years.

He is presently in court seeking to divorce his wife and has vowed that nothing would stop him from divorcing his wife.

My question is what could possibly make a man thrown in the towel and walk out of his marriage after so many years together?

I will like to know.

to save his heart of hyper tension wire

Only stupid men go to court to get married. Then, your most of your powers are handed over to the wife

Sonnobax15:

The same thing is currently happening to my uncle..To the extent that he even wanted to sell one of his duplex but his children and wife collaborated and even had to beat my uncle to coma....... imagine father wey send all him four out of 5 sons to go and study for the U.K.......
My uncle is currently filing for divorce at this moment,but the woman dey vow say if my uncle venture leave her,say my uncle go see pepper....

This your uncle matter na serious gbedu o! See pepper in this context is going extreme and even diabolical if need be.

jimmychang:



Who serious go serious for life...I was told my dad's properties were mine since I can remember.I AM THE FIRST CHILD AND THE FIRST SON (MAD COMBO). RIGHT NOW I DON'T GIVE A Bleep.I Just want to build my own from scratch.

are u sure ?
Give me a proof

Are u presently living Spartan life or enjoyment life inspire u surrounded by wealth.

Peace!

Atticusxsz:



This your uncle matter na serious gbedu o! See pepper in this context is going extreme and even diabolical.

Exactly...That diabolical part na true...you just hit the nail on the head..

Xj2020:
He is a very principled man. Very religious and doesn't play with his God been a devoted Muslim. Extremely rich and bless with four grown up children with the second of his children getting married in a month time.

He retired from the bank 2 years ago having risen to the pinnacle of his career in the banking industry having served in different capacities for almost 35 years.

Yes, the wife is uncultured and ill-mannered. He knows already and has been managing her all these years.

He is presently in court seeking to divorce his wife and has vowed that nothing would stop him from divorcing his wife.

My question is what could possibly make a man thrown in the towel and walk out of his marriage after so many years together?

I will like to know.

Nobody wants to live under same roof with a nagging or terrible woman. It’s not rocket science.

A bad attitude cannot hide it will always show its self and character. And yes it will only adds negative energy to everything it touches.

Nobody wants to deal with that all their life. Everybody deserves happiness/peace of mind and should seek it

Conpat:


This is happening in my own family right now. My mother was always telling my older brother that our father's house was his own.She will say things like do you want to spoil the kitchen sink and block the drainage system, don't you know this house is yours.

My mother was always talking with my older brother in private and filling his head with only god knows what.My brother will misbehave and when confronted he will fight with my older sisters and be saying things like do and go marry, this is not your house. You have married, go to your husband's house I don't know what you are looking for here

Today he is over 40 and still living in our father's house with our parents. My father was telling me that to even buy bread or gas in the house he does not, yet he works. I think he is waiting for the day our father will die so the house can go to him like he has was told over the years.My father has never said anything about the house being his own or talked about a will or inheritance, but mother and son since decided who is getting the house.

I like my mother she is honestly not a bad person just flawed but this thing you have talked about is so real and I don't know if some mothers do it knowingly or unknowingly. She has now seen how her 2 male children are useless and not helpful, last month I sent her some money and she was thanking and blessing me saying it is we the female children that are actually helpful. I said to myself so it is now you know.

I pray I don't make the same mistakes with my own sons. Me and my sisters want to put money together to renovate the house for our parents comfort but one is not very interested and she has been asking, why should we spend money renovating a house for our brother to come and inherit. He is not even the first born child.

Sorry for the long talk, your post just triggered me to talk. I also support what you said on another thread about training children to be independent and responsible enough to hustle their success instead of fighting over inheritance and fathers properties. I have noticed that it is mainly male children who do this dragging of inheritance and fighting for property

So much lessons to learn on parenting, thanks for this sincere comment

Saintmary:
It's all well and good to speculate about this family.
But, let's consider these:

What did this man do with his energetic years?
Was he a present dad or the 'drop money' type?
Was he a faithful husband?
Was he peaceful with his family when he was the sole authority?
How can 6 people gang up against you without an exception? (Is the mother's juju that strong?)
He decided, unilaterally, to sell a property without considering his family's opinion, is that the right thing to do?

I personally suspect that he has an away child or children somewhere and the main family is already fighting for property early before his expected demise.
Else, why would he file for divorce on a whim if he doesn't have options hidden somewhere?

P. S. Nigerians always tell women to endure horrible marriages, but when it comes to men?
'he needs peace of mind' becomes the mantra.

You are confusing the stories. The Op didn't tell us that his children are against him.

What you suspect is not the reality too, or else the Op tells us otherwise.

How sure are you that he filed for the divorce on a whim? What of the possibility that he has been thinking of it for long before finally growing some balls?

A lot of conjectures. Personally, peace of mind matters for both gender, it's not male or female exclusive. If someone wants out after trying all possible means of reconciliation, let the person have his or her way. It's difficult for both parties but letting go at times is the best option.

Saintmary:
It's all well and good to speculate about this family.
But, let's consider these:

What did this man do with his energetic years?
Was he a present dad or the 'drop money' type?
Was he a faithful husband?
Was he peaceful with his family when he was the sole authority?
How can 6 people gang up against you without an exception? (Is the mother's juju that strong?)
He decided, unilaterally, to sell a property without considering his family's opinion, is that the right thing to do?

I personally suspect that he has an away child or children somewhere and the main family is already fighting for property early before his expected demise.
Else, why would he file for divorce on a whim if he doesn't have options hidden somewhere?

P. S. Nigerians always tell women to endure horrible marriages, but when it comes to men?
'he needs peace of mind' becomes the mantra.

rubbish....

Hmmm

Sonnobax15:
Na real male sons indeed . But aunty Poco, there's nothing these sons know that my dad who's the closest man to their father don't know......The Problem all started when my uncle sat his wife down,and told her he want to sell one of his buildings (precisely the one in PH) so that he can use the money to build a house in his home town since he's already aging...But the wife didn't agree to his plan... Instead,she insisted on the fact that everything belongs to her children and my uncle shouldn't even dare sell any of his property

Imagine am na . Children wey about 3 oury of the 5 dey do well..

I suspect he may just be the provider not the father. I am just saying

I think your uncle would be the right person to answer your question.

You didn’t mention a 2nd wife which suggests he (even though a Muslim) didn’t take another wife.

Hmmm.

Men run away from wahala. A few things could make a man utter such a vow. He is tired.

Nobody should beg him to continue enduring what he is running away from.

JAYUK:
With the advent of internet and Nigerians being the number addicts to it, it has broken more homes,created more problems that we cannot comprehend nor fathom, women are the most affected, the more learned and older they are,the more volatile,it's now a virus.

They are naturally insatiable no matter what u do!
Only God can arrest them

Xj2020:
He is a very principled man. Very religious and doesn't play with his God been a devoted Muslim. Extremely rich and bless with four grown up children with the second of his children getting married in a month time.

He retired from the bank 2 years ago having risen to the pinnacle of his career in the banking industry having served in different capacities for almost 35 years.

Yes, the wife is uncultured and ill-mannered. He knows already and has been managing her all these years.

He is presently in court seeking to divorce his wife and has vowed that nothing would stop him from divorcing his wife.

My question is what could possibly make a man thrown in the towel and walk out of his marriage after so many years together?

I will like to know.

But is your question not an irony!,you have already stated in the write up that the wife was I'll mannered n the man was only managing her all the while perhaps hoping for a positive change from her which doesn't appear to ever come,so don't you think the man get fed up just like any other man would?.

This could be a case of mid-life crises

Wats ur own

After 30 godamn years, mehnnnnn that your uncle must have endured to the last, for him to come up with divorce

daddytime:
Life goes on..

They both tried in tolerating each other's excesses over the years.

We no get that kind patience again these years.

5 years sef na Golden jubilee these days..

Maybe the niqqa don turn #Redpiller

Make somebody drop small thing for me to take hold pocket go work tomorrow please, na beg I dey please