Am hurt, 4 years relationship about to go down the drain.first time meeting her parents was last week Sunday, they did welcome me with a smiling face.
After all the introductions and making my intentions known to them I like to marry their daughter.

my girlfriend called me on phone yesterday that she's coming over, which she did and start saying that her elder bro and her mum is kicking against our marriage. i asked why? she said because am an Ssce holder.

yes I might be an Ssce holder, but am self employed doing well for myself (I noi de beg to chop) isn't that enough.

can't an Ssce holder marries a bsc, msc or a phd holder.
why the discrimination towards a brother because of a white man education?
because of a white sheet of paper.

It is rather unfortunate. But I advise you upgrade yourself at least. It shows your willingness to want to get learned.

There's always a woman for every man

GraciousGod190:
am hurt, 4 years relationship about to go down the drain.first time meeting her parents was last week Sunday, they did welcome me with a smiling face.
after all the introductions and making my intentions known to them I like to marry their daughter.

my girlfriend called me on phone yesterday that she's coming over, which she did and start saying that her elder bro and her mum is kicking against our marriage. i asked why? she said because am an Ssce holder.


yes I might be an Ssce holder, but am self employed doing well for myself (I noi de beg to chop) isn't that enough.


can't an Ssce holder marries a bsc, msc or a phd holder.
why the discrimination towards a brother because of a white man education?
because of a white sheet of paper.

Let that motivate you to upgrade your educational background or find a lady whose family will not have problem with your education.

dahmie2013:
It is rather unfortunate. But I advise you upgrade yourself at least. It shows your willingness to want to get learned.

no bro, am a business man.
finishing Ssce is enough, am 36 years old I should upgrade myself because her family refused to accept me for who I am.
if this is the end of our relationship, so be it.

dawnomike:
Let that motivate you to upgrade your educational background or find a lady whose family will not have problem with your education.

getting married to a woman can't motivate me to upgrade my educational background.
already told her it's over so be it, she's the one shedding tears over here.

GraciousGod190:

no bro, am a business man.
finishing Ssce is enough, am 36 years old I should upgrade myself because her family refused to accept me for who I am.
if this is the end of our relationship, so be it.

My brother, seeking knowledge has nothing to do with age. This attitude is not the best. I still advise you go to school and upgrade yourself.

dahmie2013:

My brother, seeking knowledge has nothing to do with age. This attitude is not the best. I still advise you go to school and upgrade yourself.

upgrade myself?
so to you am not upgraded enough? because am an Ssce holder.
please bro this discriminations needs to stop.

Mennnnnnnn,some brothers and parents can sabi cause wahala for their daughters en...Just imagine the nonsense reason wey dem even give self.........
Wetin really matter pass for marriage na the knowledge,wisdom and understanding on how to manage and package am without any wahala...So long say peace dey, accomodation no be Problem, food dey,wetin cor remain again? . And the girl in question self don agree to marry you self..

Op,if dem keep on to dey insist,I go like advice you say make you lock up.....Las las,na dem their sister and daughter g battle with when the BSc holders and PhD holders no dey come her way

GraciousGod190:

upgrade myself?
so to you am not upgraded enough? because am an Ssce holder.
please bro this discriminations needs to stop.

Your English and your writing is good for an Ssce holder.

DaddyRochie1642:


Your English and your writing is good for an Ssce holder.

thanks very much, I appreciate.

dahmie2013:

My brother, seeking knowledge has nothing to do with age. This attitude is not the best. I still advise you go to school and upgrade yourself.

Upgrading his educational level is good, but he should not upgrade just because he wants to please the in-laws to be.
What if after upgrading, they come up with other criteria; maybe he must be a car and a house owner.

The girl's parents are more concerned with their ego than the happiness of their daughter.

Op, if you so love your babe you can make that sacrifice for her. However, just pray that this will be the last of demands from her parents even after the wedding.

Them no suppose use the educational background judge you sha.

But if you want to upgrade your educational qualifications, do so for what you stand to gain and not because you are being forced to.

I'll advise you upgrade though because anybody who have the knowledge added with business mindset tends to go really farther than those without knowledge and have just the business mindset going for them.

With knowledge, you make better informed decisions taking in better perimeters than when knowledge is not inclusive

Samcent:

Upgrading his educational level is good, but he should not upgrade just because he wants to please the in-laws to be.
What if after upgrading, they come up with other criteria; maybe he must be a car and a house owner.

The girl's parents are more concerned with their ego than the happiness of their daughter.

Op, if you so love your babe you can make that sacrifice for her. However, just pray that this will be the last of demands from her parents even after the wedding.

i understand you sir, when I heard it yesterday I was hurt deep down. I felt low, felt intimidated.
i do love my girlfriend, but how can a 36 year old man goes back to school because he wants to get married to a girl?.

i can make other meaningful sacrifices, but definitely not This.
thanks.

kingphilip:
Them no suppose use the educational background judge you sha.

But if you want to upgrade your educational qualifications, do so for what you stand to gain and not because you are being forced to.

I'll advise you upgrade though because anybody who have the knowledge added with business mindset tends to go really farther than those without knowledge and have just the business mindset going for them.

With knowledge, you make better informed decisions taking in better perimeters than when knowledge is not inclusive

thanks for this, I appreciate.

Oga op u can write, read, speaks English and do some simple calculation.
Please don't do any upgrading now because of marriage. Rather use the money to strengthen and expand your business.

GraciousGod190:

i understand you sir, when I heard it yesterday I was hurt deep down. I felt low, felt intimidated.
i do love my girlfriend, but how can a 36 year old man goes back to school because he wants to get married to a girl?.

i can make other meaningful sacrifices, but definitely not This.
thanks.

Never allow anyone (or a group of people) make you feel inadequate. You're good enough in your own rights.
Always be confident in yourself. Allow no disrespect.
Nobody can make you feel less without your permission.

fuckingAyaya:
There's always a woman for every man

You just said it all

GraciousGod190:

no bro, am a business man.
finishing Ssce is enough, am 36 years old I should upgrade myself because her family refused to accept me for who I am.
if this is the end of our relationship, so be it.

...
Don't always tell people to accept you for who you are..
If you feel you can't upgrade, go for a fellow Ssce or the one whose family wouldnt have problem with you

Matheusmartin:
...
Don't always tell people to accept you for who you are..
If you feel you can't upgrade, go for a fellow Ssce or the one whose family wouldnt have problem with you

why would I go for Ssce or bsc ?
i go for love, the reason I wanted to marry her is because I love her for who she is, not because of her certificates whatsoever.
we are perfectly fitted since our 4years of dating.

GraciousGod190:


why would I go for Ssce or bsc ?
i go for love, the reason I wanted to marry her is because I love her for who she is, not because of her certificates whatsoever.
we perfectly fitted since our 4years of dating.

.
I get your point.
I'll advice you go for someone whose family wouldn't have problem with your qualification.
All the best.

They may never respect you.

Just move on.

Especially since your babe couldn't even defend you.

She's been dating you all these while and she knew your educational background.

If I were your babe, and I've made up my mind to go ahead and marry you, I wouldn't have even mentioned it.

It's not their business. Because if I do go ahead to marry you knowing what they know, I wouldn't want to deal with my folks disrespecting my husband on a ground like that.

******************
It's possible she's using that as an excuse to leave you.

That crying she's doing is mere theatrics.

PrimadonnaO:
They may never respect you.

Just move on.

Especially since your babe couldn't even defend you.

She's been dating you all these while and she knew your educational background.

If I were your babe, and I've made up my mind to go ahead and marry you, I wouldn't have even mentioned it.

It's not their business.

It's possible she's using that as an excuse to leave you.

That crying she's doing is mere theatrics.

Hmm, an intelligent submission here.

GraciousGod190

I also blame you because at 36, you are suppose to use common sense to know that your girlfriend and her family are using your education as their proxy over their hidden agenda.

There are many factors they are not telling you.

1. You may be from a different tribe

2. You do not have enough finance to their expectation. They wanted someone with a more better career and money than you.

3. She has seen so much of you and now she is listening to her family to make choices for her over her future.

4. You should use your head. Marriage is a choice between two adult and has nothing to do with education. It is left for you to move on and be proud of yourself. Don't beg them, show self worth and your girlfriend will see your worth and value.

5. If your girl can't stand for you, she is not worthy to be your wife.

Some nigeria families with their gold digger mindset, they want to eat cook food without cooking the food.

PrimadonnaO:
They may never respect you.

Just move on.

Especially since your babe couldn't even defend you.

She's been dating you all these while and she knew your educational background.

If I were your babe, and I've made up my mind to go ahead and marry you, I wouldn't have even mentioned it.

It's not their business. Because if I do go ahead to marry you knowing what they know, I wouldn't want to deal with my folks disrespecting my husband on a ground like that.

******************
It's possible she's using that as an excuse to leave you.

That crying she's doing is mere theatrics.

Well said. It is not as if it is tribe or a physical disability that can’t be hidden.

For a 36yrs old man, her parents would most likely ask where he is from and what he does for a living. Not how many As he got in his “WAEC”.

Raalsalghul:


Hmm, an intelligent submission here.

Shebi I told you that the average advanced bachelor that wants to hook an educated young girl will chop enough breakfast? Don’t play with these small girls out there now o.

A family can allow an educated man marry their daughter with no form of education whatsoever, but don't be surprised that the same family will not allow their daughter marry an uneducated man or a man they see as not highly educated, that's the irony of life. Do what you want to do because that's what you want, not because that's what others want. Is the girl I pity, she'll be heartbroken.

GraciousGod190:


why would I go for Ssce or bsc ?
i go for love, the reason I wanted to marry her is because I love her for who she is, not because of her certificates whatsoever.
we are perfectly fitted since our 4years of dating.

You have 2 options here
1. Go and upgrade yourself
2. Move on

Spherical77:
You have 2 options here 1. Go and upgrade yourself 2. Move on

i chosed the latter, as soon as I heard it. thanks

pocohantas:


Well said. It is not as if it is tribe or a physical disability that can’t be hidden.

For a 36yrs old man, her parents would most likely ask where he is from and what he does for a living. Not how many As he got in his “WAEC”.

Exactly.

I'm just here wondering how the conversation came up.

Maybe they asked "what are his educational qualifications?"

Lostchild:
GraciousGod190

I also blame you because at 36 you are supposes to use common sense to know that your girlfriend and his families are using your education as their proxy over their hidden agenda.

There are many factors they are not telling you.

1. You may be from a different tribe

2. You do not have enough finance to their expectation. They wanted someone with a more better career than you.

3. She is listening to her family to make choices for her over her future.

4. You should use your head. Marriage has nothing to do with education. It is left for you to move on and be pround of yourself. Don't beg them, show self worth and your girlfriend will see your worth.

5. If your girl can't stand for you, she is not worthy to be your wife.

Nigeria women, nigeria families with their gold digger mindset, they want to eat cook food without cooking the food.

i suspected as much, she once told me to further though but I knocked it off.
it never occurred to me it would matter.

PrimadonnaO:



Exactly.

I'm just here wondering how the conversation came up.

Maybe they asked "what are his educational qualifications?"

Except her father himself is a professor, I don’t think it is a question that comes up when the man is doing well for himself. A man that they saw physically.

I hope with time men will begin to understand the times we are in. An educated YOUNG girl in her prime won’t just marry the average advanced bachelor when she has options. That thing ended in 1998 when Anambra traders were marrying doctors/lawyers and keeping her in their shops. Even if she wants to, her parents would help her buy time. They know how to do that very well.

In this generation of iPhone and fur-slippers-girls, she will chop your money, help you to waste your time till you clock 40. Then she’ll disappear when you least expect it.

Love is not enough. Let’s all be realistic and strategic in this thing. There are many other superficial factors that foster compatibility.

GraciousGod190:


i suspected as much, she once told me to further though but I knocked it off.
it never occurred to me it would matter.

Did you give her a valid reason(s) for "knocking it off" or you just "knocked it off" because she suggested it?