₦airaland Forum

Annabelle12344:
I just created this account to post this.
I'm really Disturbed.

My wedding is approaching and I'm so excited about it.
Before I met my husband to be, there's this married man I know. Right from day one he told me who was married but his family based in a different state. I told him I'm single and I can't marry a married man nor date a married man. We both laughed about it.

Years passed, he became so close to my family and everybody around me. He comes to my house, gist with my mum, siblings and my family members are very accommodating.
I had my boyfriend whom everyone knows, that I have nothing with this man.
he support me financially some times. I have been helpful as well in my own ways. most times, I helped him out with cooking, even followed him to supper market to pick beautiful clothes (wears) for his wife and children. I have known this man for about 4 yrs now, but never have I had intimat.e relationship with him. He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.

This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,

How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?

Is ignoring him at this point the best option?


How should I handle this? Pls advice

Foodqueen:
You dated him.

There's no way he could feel emotional betrayed if u weren't having sexual relationship.

And your family welcomed him all along.

Annabelle12344:
I'm just worried. That he's going through pain emotionally.
I wish he could be fine and happy as usual. because I'm happy with my man whom I'm getting married to.

Annabelle12344:
I'm just worried. That he's going through pain emotionally.
I wish he could be fine and happy as usual. because I'm happy with my man whom I'm getting married to.

Pootle:
jus one round will solve it all

Annabelle12344:
I just created this account to post this.
I'm really Disturbed.

My wedding is approaching and I'm so excited about it.
Before I met my husband to be, there's this married man I know. Right from day one he told me who was married but his family based in a different state. I told him I'm single and I can't marry a married man nor date a married man. We both laughed about it.

Years passed, he became so close to my family and everybody around me. He comes to my house, gist with my mum, siblings and my family members are very accommodating.
I had my boyfriend whom everyone knows, that I have nothing with this man.
he support me financially some times. I have been helpful as well in my own ways. most times, I helped him out with cooking, even followed him to supper market to pick beautiful clothes (wears) for his wife and children. I have known this man for about 4 yrs now, but never have I had intimat.e relationship with him. He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.

This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,

How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?

Is ignoring him at this point the best option?


How should I handle this? Pls advice

Annabelle12344:
I just created this account to post this.
I'm really Disturbed.

My wedding is approaching and I'm so excited about it.
Before I met my husband to be, there's this married man I know. Right from day one he told me who was married but his family based in a different state. I told him I'm single and I can't marry a married man nor date a married man. We both laughed about it.

Years passed, he became so close to my family and everybody around me. He comes to my house, gist with my mum, siblings and my family members are very accommodating.
I had my boyfriend whom everyone knows, that I have nothing with this man.
he support me financially some times. I have been helpful as well in my own ways. most times, I helped him out with cooking, even followed him to supper market to pick beautiful clothes (wears) for his wife and children. I have known this man for about 4 yrs now, but never have I had intimat.e relationship with him. He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.

This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,

How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?

Is ignoring him at this point the best option?


How should I handle this? Pls advice

Annabelle12344:
I just created this account to post this.
I'm really Disturbed.

My wedding is approaching and I'm so excited about it.
Before I met my husband to be, there's this married man I know. Right from day one he told me who was married but his family based in a different state. I told him I'm single and I can't marry a married man nor date a married man. We both laughed about it.

Years passed, he became so close to my family and everybody around me. He comes to my house, gist with my mum, siblings and my family members are very accommodating.
I had my boyfriend whom everyone knows, that I have nothing with this man.
he support me financially some times. I have been helpful as well in my own ways. most times, I helped him out with cooking, even followed him to supper market to pick beautiful clothes (wears) for his wife and children. I have known this man for about 4 yrs now, but never have I had intimat.e relationship with him. He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.

This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,

How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?

Is ignoring him at this point the best option?


How should I handle this? Pls advice

thorpido:
You said he asked you out.That already defined the relationship.

oladayo63:
Well thought out!

I think this is what happened:

1. Married man wooed her
2. She didn't want anything to do with him because he's married
3. Man persisted, remained close, showered love, attention, gift and what not (This is where the man dug his own grave)
4. Lady loves it. Financial gain, attention, career development, connection, job offer on a platter
4. Lady leads him on, but no sex (arguable)
5. Lady became his +1 (cooking, shopping, cleaning, weekend sleepovers**, etc). Technically, the relationship became romantic (why did no one in her family object to the relationship between their single daughter and a married man?)
5. Man became full time maga, possibly considering upgrading her to become a second wife.
6. On the side, lady got a BF
7. BF isn't aware of Man. Man isn't aware of BF.
8. Marriage time came. Man became aware. Man is not happy.
9. BF yet to know about Man-lady relationship.
10. The family? Our daughter got a new man for marriage. The world moves on.
11. Lady's conscience is tormenting her.
12. Lady knows man can burn her, destroy her career. Lady's afraid.
13. Lady still wants to maintain status quo i.e. benefits of the previous relationship arrangement.
14. Lady runs to a faceless forum to manipulate the public while redacting her role in the problem.

Here we have fiercely manipulative lady. She manipulates man, family, BF, and now the public.

Annabelle12344:
I just created this account to post this.
I'm really Disturbed.

My wedding is approaching and I'm so excited about it.
Before I met my husband to be, there's this married man I know. Right from day one he told me who was married but his family based in a different state. I told him I'm single and I can't marry a married man nor date a married man. We both laughed about it.

Years passed, he became so close to my family and everybody around me. He comes to my house, gist with my mum, siblings and my family members are very accommodating.
I had my boyfriend whom everyone knows, that I have nothing with this man.
he support me financially some times. I have been helpful as well in my own ways. most times, I helped him out with cooking, even followed him to supper market to pick beautiful clothes (wears) for his wife and children. I have known this man for about 4 yrs now, but never have I had intimat.e relationship with him. He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.

This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,

How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?

Is ignoring him at this point the best option?


How should I handle this? Pls advice

advanceDNA:
Women..u are always funny....You like to eat your cake and have it..
You will say ...shebi i told him i wasnt interested??
Shebi i told him i cant sleep with a married man..??


So you mean all this while, this man knows you have a boyfrined...
you pick your boyfriend's calls in front of him..say i love you to your boyfriend in from of this man..
do you tell him on some occassion he wants to see you that you have plans to go and fvck your boyfriend??
has he ever called you and you told him you are busy cooking for your boyfrined??
i doubt all of these

you stylishly led him on...you string him along, because the relationship was convinient for you..
You are now here trying to paint a non-guilty picture...

How re u bestie friends with a married man,
cooking for him,
coming to your house,
going to his house
your parents even know him,
you collect money from him
you go like make your own husband get that kind female friend ??

Niggaa ...pleeeeeeseeeeeeee
you women think you are wise.....[/b]

Bonjovi13:
Hmmmmn. As much as I'd like to believe that you didn't sleep with the man, it's hard not to think that you did.
Can you honestly say that you guys did not kiss or do some light or heavy petting over the years?
I find it hard to believe that a married man would keep up a relationship with a single lady and he is not getting anything in return. Cooking and shopping for him doesn't quite do it. Lots of ladies out there wouldn't mind cooking, shopping and sleeping with him.
You said he has several tried to make your relationship sexual and you refused. Did he stop making attempts?
So where did this bond come from? This emotional bond that has made him heartbroken? He got used to you? Meaning you guys spent a lot of time together! Did he know about your boyfriend? Did you boyfriend know about him? Was your boyfriend cool with your relationship with the man? What was his reaction?
One thing you shouldn't do in a faceless online media platform like this is twist the narrative in order to make yourself look good and influence the advice people are going to give you. That's shooting yourself in the foot and crying wolf. Come clean and let people condemn you but at least you would be rewarded with the truth. The truth that can actually help you deal with your situation.
Well,as it is except you have feelings for him too and can't stand to see him suffering,you have got to let him go through the breakup. He will suffer emotionally but he will be fine.
Don't just deceive yourself that he was a big bro bla bla bla...you guys were in a relationship and this is the fall out of unmet expectations

Aganju849:
You're both idiots lolz

Why you no call yourself anabelle04-044-0214... olosho werey

If the man wife pour you acid now e go be like say she do bad thing

mastermaestro:
You want to help him heal? Healer! Face your marriage, madam! The only healing he needs now is to focus on his family, while you focus on yours.

Wait, how do singles (male and female) even manage to keep married people this intimately close? It's unhealthy!

Madam, leave him alone for his wife to heal him!

Annabelle12344:
I just created this account to post this.
I'm really Disturbed.

My wedding is approaching and I'm so excited about it.
Before I met my husband to be, there's this married man I know. Right from day one he told me who was married but his family based in a different state. I told him I'm single and I can't marry a married man nor date a married man. We both laughed about it.

Years passed, he became so close to my family and everybody around me. He comes to my house, gist with my mum, siblings and my family members are very accommodating.
I had my boyfriend whom everyone knows, that I have nothing with this man.
he support me financially some times. I have been helpful as well in my own ways. most times, I helped him out with cooking, even followed him to supper market to pick beautiful clothes (wears) for his wife and children. I have known this man for about 4 yrs now, but never have I had intimat.e relationship with him. He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.

This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,

How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?

Is ignoring him at this point the best option?


How should I handle this? Pls advice

emmyN:
What you are feeling is guilt. You led him on for four good years and now you want to drop him hot. You know what you did and it's just evil. He asked you out, why wouldn't you marry him? At least he didn't hide the fact he already had a wife. You could have accepted his proposal from the outset and all of this wouldn't have happened. It would have been a journey of marital bliss for you all. But alas, the one man one wife hogwash blinded you from rational thinking.

Annabelle12344:
I just created this account to post this.
I'm really Disturbed.

My wedding is approaching and I'm so excited about it.
Before I met my husband to be, there's this married man I know. Right from day one he told me who was married but his family based in a different state. I told him I'm single and I can't marry a married man nor date a married man. We both laughed about it.

Years passed, he became so close to my family and everybody around me. He comes to my house, gist with my mum, siblings and my family members are very accommodating.
I had my boyfriend whom everyone knows, that I have nothing with this man.
he support me financially some times. I have been helpful as well in my own ways. most times, I helped him out with cooking, even followed him to supper market to pick beautiful clothes (wears) for his wife and children. I have known this man for about 4 yrs now, but never have I had intimat.e relationship with him. He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.

This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,

How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?

Is ignoring him at this point the best option?


How should I handle this? Pls advice

Annabelle12344:
No. Not at all