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He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. - Family (8) - Nairaland

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I'm Getting Tired Of This Marriage! / I'm Getting Married But I'm Not Happy / Her Family Says I Can't Marry Her Because I'm An SSCE Holder (2) (3) (4)

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Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by Bonab: 12:32pm On Nov 13, 2021
He will get over it. Don't allow him break your marriage.

1 Like

Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by jimmychang: 12:34pm On Nov 13, 2021
Annabelle12344:

I'm just worried. That he's going through pain emotionally.
I wish he could be fine and happy as usual. because I'm happy with my man whom I'm getting married to.

Babe you dated him abeg.You lured him on and you even like him or lemme say love him.Sister for this life no start watin you no fit finish.
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by alizma: 12:40pm On Nov 13, 2021
Annabelle12344:
I just created this account to post this.
I'm really Disturbed.

My wedding is approaching and I'm so excited about it.
Before I met my husband to be, there's this married man I know. Right from day one he told me who was married but his family based in a different state. I told him I'm single and I can't marry a married man nor date a married man. We both laughed about it.

Years passed, he became so close to my family and everybody around me. He comes to my house, gist with my mum, siblings and my family members are very accommodating.
I had my boyfriend whom everyone knows, that I have nothing with this man.
he support me financially some times. I have been helpful as well in my own ways. most times, I helped him out with cooking, even followed him to supper market to pick beautiful clothes (wears) for his wife and children. I have known this man for about 4 yrs now, but never have I had intimat.e relationship with him. He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.

This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,

How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?

Is ignoring him at this point the best option?


How should I handle this? Pls advice
Move on, he is a simp and you just served him right. There is nothing like friendship between married opposite sex and once someone is not your brother or sister, there is nothing as he is just like a brother or sister to me. All that is cheap lies, you kept him because you were enjoying the financial benefits.

1 Like

Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by mandate12: 12:41pm On Nov 13, 2021
cococandy:
Lol. Did his wife ask you to help him?
Some of you are just funny.

Big brother ko.
If you want to help him, tell his wife what’s been going on. Let her handle it

Hahaha... A kiss from u whenever I c u!
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by xpress101(m): 12:43pm On Nov 13, 2021
Please let your fiance know about it ASAP. It's very important or else the devil can use him as he's vulnerable through his weak emotion.
Also, don't keep a relationship with a married man in any form. He's attached to you because he has a problem at home and you somehow maybe have the solution directly or indirectly.
I'm sorry to say this, your parents are part of the problem. what is a married man doing with you at home and your mum is comfortable about it?
LET THIS BE PART OF WHAT YOU WILL RESOLVE DURING YOUR MARRIAGE COUNSELLING. YOUR FIANCE, PARENT, MARRIAGE COUNSELLOR AND PASTOR MUST END THIS! or else, the man can set you or your husband up later in the future.

furthermore, you can connect him to someone who can help him repair/rebuild his family


Annabelle12344:
I just created this account to post this.
I'm really Disturbed.

My wedding is approaching and I'm so excited about it.
Before I met my husband to be, there's this married man I know. Right from day one he told me who was married but his family based in a different state. I told him I'm single and I can't marry a married man nor date a married man. We both laughed about it.

Years passed, he became so close to my family and everybody around me. He comes to my house, gist with my mum, siblings and my family members are very accommodating.
I had my boyfriend whom everyone knows, that I have nothing with this man.
he support me financially some times. I have been helpful as well in my own ways. most times, I helped him out with cooking, even followed him to supper market to pick beautiful clothes (wears) for his wife and children. I have known this man for about 4 yrs now, but never have I had intimat.e relationship with him. He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.

This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,

How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?

Is ignoring him at this point the best option?


How should I handle this? Pls advice
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by bukatyne(f): 12:46pm On Nov 13, 2021
Annabelle12344:
I just created this account to post this.
I'm really Disturbed.

My wedding is approaching and I'm so excited about it.
Before I met my husband to be, there's this married man I know. Right from day one he told me who was married but his family based in a different state. I told him I'm single and I can't marry a married man nor date a married man. We both laughed about it.

Years passed, he became so close to my family and everybody around me. He comes to my house, gist with my mum, siblings and my family members are very accommodating.
I had my boyfriend whom everyone knows, that I have nothing with this man.
he support me financially some times. I have been helpful as well in my own ways. most times, I helped him out with cooking, even followed him to supper market to pick beautiful clothes (wears) for his wife and children. I have known this man for about 4 yrs now, but never have I had intimat.e relationship with him. He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.

This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,

How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?

Is ignoring him at this point the best option?


How should I handle this? Pls advice

All of you are all jokers undecided Trust me, a worse choice of word is playing in my head.

1. You: a married man asks you out and you say no. Shouldn't common sense tell you to run away from him? No, you become bestie and following him to the market and all sorts. Because of the monetary gains, someone you have no blood ties with becomes big brother.

2. Your family: they are a very very very greedy lot who obviously lack integrity and virtue.

3. Uncle Isonu Animasahun Alagbere: You left your wife and kids to be forming bestie with a small girl. A part of me hopes you lose your job and family since you have refused to have sense cheesy

4. Brother Oko Iyawo: May God open your eyes to see that you are a side boo to your wife to be. She is still offering emotional healing to uncle onisekuse.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by Nobody: 12:51pm On Nov 13, 2021
Go and face your marriage!!!

Ewu. angry

1 Like

Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by Airoflaw(m): 12:52pm On Nov 13, 2021
Beebah2000:
This matter choke ooo undecided undecided
Make I sit down one side dey read comments.
continue
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by Tundex911: 12:53pm On Nov 13, 2021
Don't lie both of you don knack una sef...


Say God
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by Asapchris(m): 12:55pm On Nov 13, 2021
If I’m your husband to be and I found out about this, I will end the marriage so that you can continue with your besties or whatever.

2 Likes

Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by Mason360(m): 12:56pm On Nov 13, 2021
Annabelle12344:

I'm just worried. That he's going through pain emotionally.
I wish he could be fine and happy as usual. because I'm happy with my man whom I'm getting married to.

I understand the scenario. He's suffering from what's called oneitis. He's gotten so used to you that made him develope a deep feeling for you. This blinds him to every other options and makes him jealous and see anyone close to you as a threat. No matter how much you like him, he's the one that needs to fix himself. Not you. The best way is for him to keep distance and spend more time with his wife and other people. For a while till he's over you.

1 Like

Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by Mryacks: 12:57pm On Nov 13, 2021
Kobojunkie:
You are wanting to heal emotionally wounds of someone you don't love or someone you love but don't want to marry? Which one? undecided

Are you somehow his saviour that you feel you need to heal him emotionally? undecided

Do you feel that you should marry your husband while you continue cradling another man's heart in your same arms? undecided

Exactly....she was busy doing "couple things" with someone she does not love but benefits from. Why even bring him that close to her family? Does her boyfriend/husband to be even knows about the man?....people just start things off and leading others on without thinking of the consequences ...
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by cooooooks(m): 12:58pm On Nov 13, 2021
If not fake, talk it out.

Some stuff you could say:
- Friendship is not lost because of marriage. We are friends, and I'd like us to stay friends.
- I have been clear from the beginning of our friendship that I won't date or marry a married man. Tell me where you got it confused.
- That this childish reaction to the next chapter of my life is hurting and disrespectful. In fact, I am disappointed.
- I'm always here for you as I take you like a bigger brother. Crack a joke about how big brothers should be happy when their sisters get married.

The guy is sensitive and needs kid gloves. Be firm, understanding, almost mother him.

Bia, are you looking for him to sponsor your wedding??



Annabelle12344:
I just created this account to post this.
I'm really Disturbed.

My wedding is approaching and I'm so excited about it.
Before I met my husband to be, there's this married man I know. Right from day one he told me who was married but his family based in a different state. I told him I'm single and I can't marry a married man nor date a married man. We both laughed about it.

Years passed, he became so close to my family and everybody around me. He comes to my house, gist with my mum, siblings and my family members are very accommodating.
I had my boyfriend whom everyone knows, that I have nothing with this man.
he support me financially some times. I have been helpful as well in my own ways. most times, I helped him out with cooking, even followed him to supper market to pick beautiful clothes (wears) for his wife and children. I have known this man for about 4 yrs now, but never have I had intimat.e relationship with him. He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.

This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,

How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?

Is ignoring him at this point the best option?


How should I handle this? Pls advice
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by Mryacks: 1:01pm On Nov 13, 2021
Well written...

Mercychen:
You're playing with fire!

Why did you go ahead and toy with his feelings by getting so close and doing those stuff for him when you knew you won't marry him?

Why did you go forming a bond you knew you won't maintain in the first place?
You're cooking, shopping and frolicking with a man and expect him not to feel attached to you in the end? Or you think it's only sex that attach people together?

I bet you knew what you were playing at all along. You were simply enjoying the moment and that feeling of " Im being dragged by two men" got into you and you felt cool at the time. Or should I say, LONG THROAT for what you'll gain from him after the cooking and shopping made you condescend so low and got yourself into such a mess. I pity you!

Youre still there thinking if you should help a wounded lion heal, When What you should in fact do is run and be watching your back as that man can harm you if he sees that he cant have you in the end.

You can't have your cake and eat it.

Stop toying with people's emotions. It's witchcraft.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by aneka785(m): 1:04pm On Nov 13, 2021
You can't have both of them. Let him go and face your life

1 Like

Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by Hungerbadoo: 1:04pm On Nov 13, 2021
Any married woman or man wey get bestie na ashawo, efulefu, idiot, akuna, useless LovePeddler. For those of you that are into relationship or married, faced your front and leave bestie matter.
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by Votukpa(m): 1:16pm On Nov 13, 2021
My conclusion:

Leave poor girls from poor families alone. They CANNOT relate with humans without seeing them as some sort of benefit or opportunity to come up. Their poverty has made them too greedy to be righteous. This behavior will only birth an attitude of entitlement, lack of accountability and self-delusion. At the end, they will blame you for bringing yourself close to them.

I blame that married man for being foolish and investing his money in a poor girl and her family. If the OP tries to say she isn't poor and didn't stick around for the fringe benefits, I would in turn ask her, "what made you act so immorally to the point of dating a married man for 4 years, while your immediate family was ok with it?"

Poverty.

If you had your own resources and was contented, and you still did what you did then I would say that you acted selfishly and wickedly, because you HAD A MAN WHO WAS INVESTING IN MARRIAGE WITH YOU ALREADY!!

Bear your burden.

Men, leave women alone. You will be alone anyway.
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by Chyma231(m): 1:22pm On Nov 13, 2021
This girl can lie !!!!!!!!!!!! Tufiakwa
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by Toonice(m): 1:37pm On Nov 13, 2021
I will only advice you when you are ready to tell us the whole truth about what happened between you and that man. Good luck
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by Nobody: 1:40pm On Nov 13, 2021
Toonice:
I will only advice you when you are ready to tell us the whole truth about what happened between you and that man. Good luck
Then keep waiting. If you can't read or believe all I've said.
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by Nobody: 1:48pm On Nov 13, 2021
Munzy14:
If you believe that their is no sex in this relationship, you will easily believe buhari is Obama.. grin

Infact you are one of Nigeria's problems... grin grin

Taaa..Every guy man suppose try club ones in a while and see what this type do with married men....All sort of dirty sex is practiced..After all if you dey use another person property, na rough rough.. grin grin
Not everyone likes clubbing, some of us hate it with passion, stop using club girls attitude and behaviour to generalize
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by emmyN(m): 1:59pm On Nov 13, 2021
bukatyne:


Accepted what proposal?

You didn't read where she said he asked her out?
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by fortunechy(m): 2:08pm On Nov 13, 2021
Ur story is incomplete.... From ur write up I can sense that u dated this man. Infact, he's ur sugar daddy....

Meanwhile, the only advise u and other upcoming u is to desist from dating married men..... E get why??
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by Stallione(m): 2:09pm On Nov 13, 2021
I dnt know why people keep posting trash here all the time. Ur bestie is hurting because ur getting married bla bla bla. Must u make it public, must u tell us that he is hurting. How does it reduce the country's problem. Stupid post undecided

1 Like

Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by BobbyJ1800: 2:10pm On Nov 13, 2021
Mexzy4sho:
Pele ooooo.

Nothing you can do at this point. Focus on the ship you've entered.

Eweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..
i cant stop laughing..
carry ur cross....
Oluwa awa pelu eeeee grin
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by BobbyJ1800: 2:11pm On Nov 13, 2021
fortunechy:
Ur story is incomplete.... From ur write up I can sense that u dated this man. Infact, he's ur sugar daddy....

Meanwhile, the only advise u and other upcoming u is to desist from dating married men..... E get why??


she wont stop ask me why......
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by BobbyJ1800: 2:16pm On Nov 13, 2021
vagina people no go kill person with their excuses abeg...
next chapter please.....
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by dudekennyboi(m): 2:18pm On Nov 13, 2021
Let his wife know about the situation already

That's of course if you don't have anything hiding

Let his wife be his emotional saviour biko focus on your marriage
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by Munzy14(m): 2:21pm On Nov 13, 2021
Iyaebe:
Not everyone likes clubbing, some of us hate it with passion, stop using club girls attitude and behaviour to generalize
Are you the OP? grin

Did you say some of us? Hehehehehe speak for yourself o..Na who never see small stout in abundance go say hmmm that bitter thing....grin grin


Ooooh!!! I forgot daddy GO say people who party are evil people... grin grin
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by betterbest: 2:23pm On Nov 13, 2021
Mercychen:
You're playing with fire!

Why did you go ahead and toy with his feelings by getting so close and doing those stuff for him when you knew you won't marry him?

Why did you go forming a bond you knew you won't maintain in the first place?
You're cooking, shopping and frolicking with a man and expect him not to feel attached to you in the end? Or you think it's only sex that attach people together?

I bet you knew what you were playing at all along. You were simply enjoying the moment and that feeling of " Im being dragged by two men" got into you and you felt cool at the time. Or should I say, LONG THROAT for what you'll gain from him after the cooking and shopping made you condescend so low and got yourself into such a mess. I pity you!

Youre still there thinking if you should help a wounded lion heal, When What you should in fact do is run and be watching your back as that man can harm you if he sees that he cant have you in the end.

You can't have your cake and eat it.

Stop toying with people's emotions. It's witchcraft.

Your brain is very sharp. I like you already

1 Like 1 Share

Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by Nobody: 2:25pm On Nov 13, 2021
Munzy14:

Are you the OP? grin

Did you say some of us? Hehehehehe speak for yourself o..Na who never see small stout in abundance go say hmmm that bitter thing....grin grin


Ooooh!!! I forgot daddy GO say people who party are evil people... grin grin

So you are even among those club guys sef,you need to be born again,follow pastor Chris oyakhilome on YouTube and you will never remain the same
Re: He's Hurting Because I'm Getting Married. by saasala(m): 2:35pm On Nov 13, 2021
Annabelle12344:
I just created this account to post this.
I'm really Disturbed.

My wedding is approaching and I'm so excited about it.
Before I met my husband to be, there's this married man I know. Right from day one he told me who was married but his family based in a different state. I told him I'm single and I can't marry a married man nor date a married man. We both laughed about it.

Years passed, he became so close to my family and everybody around me. He comes to my house, gist with my mum, siblings and my family members are very accommodating.
I had my boyfriend whom everyone knows, that I have nothing with this man.
he support me financially some times. I have been helpful as well in my own ways. most times, I helped him out with cooking, even followed him to supper market to pick beautiful clothes (wears) for his wife and children. I have known this man for about 4 yrs now, but never have I had intimat.e relationship with him. He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.

This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,

How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?

Is ignoring him at this point the best option?


How should I handle this? Pls advice

You should be tied to a baobab tree and flogged mercilessly for toying with the heart of that man.

The best thing to do at this point, and I mean it, is to fvck him. Let him enjoy your body. That is the only thing that will heal him. At least he don chop pekus; that is enough consolation.

Bye!

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