₦airaland Forum

CryptoClub2018:
Una too dey read meaning to unnecessary things. The money spent either by the bride or groom family on the wedding doesn't guarantee the success or failure of the marriage. It's not a yardstick

I have told this woman to visit the nearest hospital for mental check ups but she wouldn't listen.
Her comments on this forum are always awkward.

babyfaceafrica:
I would have preferred they set you with the money spent on the wedding. Wedding is just a day, why spending heavily when they know you aren't buoyant?

Poverty mentality.

Don't be worried bro. It's normal in the west. In fact, it's primarily the bride's family responsibility to take major care of the wedding arrangements. The groom's side can support if they can and willing to. Na the bride's family dey do wedding for yoruba side.

Tonero5200:
The money her dad spent was really much .
I can't even make a correct calculations.

That's what's getting me worried, so that it won't lead to another thing.

Tonero5200:
We don't pray for that.

But this majorly my fears.

On the reception, I was a little bit unbalanced.


Because the picture was clear, that her father did almost everything. (Extra drinks, surplus food and the likes)
Everyone could tell, even my own people that came for me.

He is also your father now.

Emancipate yourself from the shackles of "scarcity mentality".

It is not a competition.

babyfaceafrica:
I would have preferred they set you with the money spent on the wedding. Wedding is just a day, why spending heavily when they know you aren't buoyant?

This is Africa where show off is the order of the day. Oyibo man go will part of the company shares to the in-law instead of lavish wedding.

Ogbeni, shut up, you are fond of thinking and talking upside down.

Iyaebe:
Well, some people don't see any big deal in it but I as a person will stubbornly refuse such thing, I'll wait till you are ready and if my parents has to assist you then it shouldn't be beyond ordinary normal assistance expected from the bride's family. I will never allow my man to behave in a way that will make anyone ever look down on him,never.If he's still not boyant and we both want the marriage in a hurry then we will do a very low key wedding and he takes full charge and won't have to go above his capability.

I wish i have rich inlaws like yours. I am getting married on 4th december,2021. No drinks, meat and money for DJ and decorations. I feel as to run on the wedding day.

DICKstractor:




Person put sugar for your mouth, you talk say, you no want, say e too sweet

Iyaebe:
Abegiii,I as a person will strongly refuse that,I don't want anything that will bring my man out and be perceived as a low value man. What happens to a very low key wedding where he won't be needing any assistance from anybody and his respect intact.

Iyaebe u re on this thread again. Thumbs up

Tonero5200:
But why wasn't I told directly

it is a normal thing if the family is well to do, so you don't expect them to be doing special announcement on that.

Mercychen:
Well.. you can regard it as a favor. Though why you're worried is what I don't get.

Are you worried because you're not financially ready to go into marriage and it looks like you're being forced into it with all these kind gestures by her parents?

Or

Is it a fear of the unknown that after spending the little you have on your part, you won't have enough to start life as a married man?

If your worries are none of the above, then relax and enjoy the awoof.

"He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor from the Lord".

See this as a favor from God and bless His name for it.

Package my own cow tail and send o.

I understand his fears. His fear is that they won't rub it on his face tomorrow. It's his pride , ego and respect as a man won't be trampled by his wife.

I don't know about other tribe o but in Yoruba's, wedding ceremony is the brides parent responsibility. The man will do all the rites designated for him o. So if ur wife parent help you. Since no be say na them do everything you don't have to worry

Tonero5200:
The money her dad spent was really much .
I can't even make a correct calculations.

That's what's getting me worried, so that it won't lead to another thing.

No matter how good they are, they will one day bring it to your face that they sponsored your wedding, forget what these people are saying about you having luck, we are talking about humans here.

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.

please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.

As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

You are a lucky man. The father can establish/ connect you to be successful. Just abe a loyal faithful husband to his daughter.

Congrats

Fxwarrior:
I understand his fears. His fear is that they won't rub it on his face tomorrow. It's his pride , ego and respect as a man won't be trampled by his wife.

Yeah.
I wonder why he should care about that though. If anything, it's the girls family that should be worried about what people would say if they found out they sponsored the wedding; making them come off as bribing or begging a man to marry their daughter.

No body cares these days any longer l. Biko!

Iyaebe:
Obviously you are not in tune with reality

Why did you say he is not in tune with reality? What he said is the reality of so many people, and what you hold onto as your own opinion is also your reality and that if many other people, some people's reality is to share expenses equally and some will tilt towards a certain percentage higher than the other family. My point is I want you to see these different decisions as different sides of a dice �... You throw and get the number that comes to you.

[You are talking rubbish, is because you are from a poor home, no wealthy home will allow you do wedding that will disgrace their name , every family has a name. So stop talking rubbish.


It is marriage , the girls family have the right to cook different meals and different things they want

Simple

In my family ones you have a function everybody will cook and bring, if you like kill ten cows , each child must still cook and bring,

If you attend any wedding of my family , there is always flask to give people good home.

So the parents did the right thing, according to their status.









quote author=Iyaebe post=107608444]Well, some people don't see any big deal in it but I as a person will stubbornly refuse such thing, I'll wait till you are ready and if my parents has to assist you then it shouldn't be beyond ordinary normal assistance expected from the bride's family. I will never allow my man to behave in a way that will make anyone ever look down on him,never.If he's still not boyant and we both want the marriage in a hurry then we will do a very low key wedding and he takes full charge and won't have to go above his capability.[/quote]

madridguy:
My brother, if God send you helper person no dey show muscle again.
You're lucky to have a supportive in-law.

Happy married life.

He's an ingrate

bobowaja:
That marriage will soon crash. The op is a wrong groom.

No matter what you give, in yorubaland, the bride family host the wedding and whatever they spend will be assumed to be partly collected from the groom. Whatever added to it is also the responsibility of the bride family for their daughter. This is why I don't like intertribal marriages. There will always be cultural shocks. And op and his families are not taking it lightly for the help rendered. His families will start to frustrate that innocent girl.

your assumption can kill a Witch, fûck off here

Iyaebe:
Well, some people don't see any big deal in it but I as a person will stubbornly refuse such thing, I'll wait till you are ready and if my parents has to assist you then it shouldn't be beyond ordinary normal assistance expected from the bride's family. I will never allow my man to behave in a way that will make anyone ever look down on him,never.If he's still not boyant and we both want the marriage in a hurry then we will do a very low key wedding and he takes full charge and won't have to go above his capability.

lolz too many yaba left patiences

daniel5711:
I wish i have rich inlaws like yours. I am getting married on 4th december,2021. No drinks, meat and money for DJ and decorations. All my uncles keep saying GOD will perfect the wedding, i feel as to run on the wedding day.

No run o

mercyymai:
I don't know about other tribe o but in Yoruba's, wedding ceremony is the brides parent responsibility. The man will do all the rites designated for him o. So if ur wife parent help you. Since no be say na them do everything you don't have to worry

I like your chin dimple

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.

please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.

As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

Not too worry, they were overwhelmed dey finally gifted u and u finally inherited whatever is in that package... congrat bro, welcome to the board! DM for bad advice

Tonero5200:
your assumption can kill a Witch, fûck off here

You are the one assuming here. I hope the assumption doesn't kill your young marriage.

And sorry, I can't fvck off, you brought your wife and her families to the social media for people to drag. You unfortunately got drag. You are irresponsible and I guess it was a little too late for the lady and her family to understand that you are a mistake.

Foolish ingrate.

Bro, abeg your wife get sister wey dey single? Cos I'm interested.

Henon:
Bro, abeg your wife get sister wey dey single? Cos I'm interested.

hahahaha

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.

please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.

As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

The Op sounds intelligent
Of course you should worry because to whom much is given, you know the rest
I jst hope the only thing expected of you is to love and care for their daughter and not trying to use and disrespect you..
It’s never easy when dealing with in-laws

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.

please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.

As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

Instead of you to Thank God you have a well to do father in law you are here saying nonsense, poor man and bad mouth.

Tonero5200:
The money her dad spent was really much .
I can't even make a correct calculations.

That's what's getting me worried, so that it won't lead to another thing.

No need to be worried man. That is d last love that they will openingly show to their daughter. They just want to show u ppl love. So love your wife normally,never disrespect her and never allow her take ur family problems to her parents.. take note of there words.

OP, Tonero5200 let me speak to you from the other Point of view.

when my elder sister and first born wed, her husband was just like you. not buoyant. my dad bankrolled the whole affair to such an extent that he incurred debts. but it was elaborate we had family members from the village and everything my papa paid for.
just like your case it was obvious and everyone knows.

however the type of thing that will make us use this to insult or curse my sister's husband has never happened. and they've had plenty issues oooh!
but that type of insult does not exist. even if I want to insult him now or say something to hurt his feelings I can't open my mouth and say that type of rubbish. it's impossible. any body that says that is a bigger fool.

for you to receive any type of insult from the bride's family u have to commit public irreversible fcck up. even then they will never take her side completely even though she is their daughter. they must hear from you first. one time my sister and her husband had quarrel and she came and narrated story for us. all of us gingered and were boiling.

but the moment her husband came and gave us the other side come and see as we mellow. since then when she says A we wait for her husband to come if he says A too we agree

op except if the family is not god-fearing, I promise you you have hit the gold mine of wife's family

don't expect this to end here ooh! they will continue to support in any way. be it prayers, advise, opportunities, when she is about to give birth, baby sitting, naming ceremony, holidays and more.

I can't wait for December to go to my sister's house to spend Christmas with my nephews and her husband by Gods grace.

just cool your mind. accept it, but prepare yourself because you will do it for your own daughter too.

CryptoClub2018:
That is there way of expressing the joy of there daughter getting married. It has nothing to do with your marriage. Stop all this negative thinking and live your life

.

We did same for my sister. It's the joy for my Sister and nothing more.

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.

please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.

As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

Nothing much na, just make sure you do the bed side well. Its even good you bought something, at least you didn't marry her for free. Hammer am well, she go bring more money and if she love you with all her heart, love her back and mean it. You get luck, during my own time na only me sponsor everything.