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Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by Dreadshy: 3:23pm On Nov 17, 2021
E no concern me, all man do as e like. If you like born outside inside overside downside every side that na you to ro...

1 Like

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by Miarose: 3:26pm On Nov 17, 2021
I think those of us that were raised in a healthy home need to raise our voices. Lets not allow the products of dysfunctional homes drown us out. They are the minority, but so passionate about their darkness, they confuse those of us that know the truth. If you know you were raised within the loving confines of a family, you have no business assimilating these messages. Your mind is your palace, rule over it. Peace...

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by Munzy14(m): 3:26pm On Nov 17, 2021
Chuky7:

A neighbor of mine not married stayed single has children out of wedlock I once asked him why he said his family believe that as far as you can take care of them no problem. he believes in going the unconventional way as marriage no too dey favor man. you pay bride price all bills are on you. you take care of your new family. but as a non married man his only concern are the kids and the baby mama.

What do you think of this lifestyle. I dey reason am.

It's not a death sentence for a child born out of wedlock nothing really changes just traditions you are conditioned to for no reason.
Marriage with the nice partner over this.... lipsrsealed

At least with understanding, two can agree to work...And As a traditional man with a touch of modernisation, It is important to pay for her dowry...It is even in th scriptures we read as well...Then I can comfortably say this the mother of my children...If I didn't adopt...
Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by Saintmary(f): 3:30pm On Nov 17, 2021
aktolly54:
when a single father grow old, who will take care of him? Baby mama

See, don't mind all these small boys o.

I call them small boys because of their maturity not their age. Lots of them don't mature until around 50 years of age and it's not an insult.
It's just what it is!

They want to gallivant around picking up women without thought of the consequences of their actions and the impact of their activities on the innocent children.

When they finally get sense after their middle age and they find out that they only have immature men like them in their immediate circle, they start longing for a family of their own.

They will eventually marry o, I repeat, ALL of them will eventually marry. It's wired into their DNA and they are resisting now but mark my words:

THEY WILL MARRY.

Now, the kind of person they will end up with is not in this context.
As a woman, if you like, do baby mama, this life goes on, and no one will defend you. But I'll tell you, don't agree to do it.

Even George Clooney that was a confirmed bachelor married at last, I don't rate these small boys and their noise.

7 Likes

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by emmanuelbrown26: 3:30pm On Nov 17, 2021
seyz91:
confirm!
Na so man suppose dey stay in other to enjoy this life before joining his ancestors.

1 Like

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by RodgersAkpafu: 3:31pm On Nov 17, 2021
It depends
It favours some
It ruins others
Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by luizpippo(m): 3:31pm On Nov 17, 2021
One Sunday in June, the pastor ask the that any one in the congregation who comes from a polygamous home should stretch their hands towards the altar and virtually 85% had their hands outstretched, then I realized our father's generation did scary things.


It was seen as polygamy then, because they were prepared to marry them and ensure the kids have a proper family to interact with.

Our generation is just the same only that we are not ready to marry and build a proper family.

Wizkid or Davido or Flavor with more than one baby mama is not far removed from Enwerem, Adekutu or Abokine with 3 wives back in the day.

All polygamy centered.

3 Likes

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by rollandben(m): 3:31pm On Nov 17, 2021
bigjackass:
This idea of what favor who... mostly irresponsible people think this way. Marriage is good as long you marry the right person. Even the whites we want to copy, most of them don't stay single. Instead they jump from one marriage to the other and divorce up and down because they enjoy being married but they haven't found the right person.
Sorry o... On your own

1 Like

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by Nobody: 3:32pm On Nov 17, 2021
Miarose:
I think those of us that were raised in a healthy home need to raise our voices. Lets not allow the products of dysfunctional homes drown us out. They are the minority, but so passionate about their darkness, they confuse those of us that know the truth. If you know you were raised within the loving confines of a family, you have no business assimilating these messages. Your mind is your palace, rule over it. Peace...
U may sound RIGHT, but what about the MEN who wia raised in such good homes but ended up marrying JEZEBELS who keep tormenting them.
How would you expect such Men to see marriage?
That's the Issue..
FAMILY is supreme, no doubt.
But if you land a terrible woman, you will reject the entire entity called marriage.
Most people divorcing now were once products of Good and Reputable Homes because most of our mothers understood MEN.
They knew the rudiments of marriage.
Mind you this is also applicable to the MEN too, who may be purveyors of destruction.

3 Likes

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by emmanuelbrown26: 3:33pm On Nov 17, 2021
aktolly54:
when a single father grow old, who will take care of him? Baby mama
U SAID SINGLE FATHER NA, SiNGLE FATHERS ENJOYS MORE AT OLD AgE THAN THE ONES WITH WIVES

2 Likes

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by codeigniter(m): 3:35pm On Nov 17, 2021
FlipModeSquade:
Traditional marriage institutions mostly favor women..

While the man is worked to death..

At the end the children only remembers their Mum as a Superwoman..

The man that put his body and health on the line..

To put food on their table..

Becomes an afterthought..

While the woman junkets from Miami to London to Paris..

In the name of Ọmụgwọ..

The old broken man sits at home counting his days..

With an occasional bottle of Gin and yards of clothes..

From his grateful children and in laws..

Tell me..

Why shouldn't a sensible being.

Have a rethink about an institution that takes so much from him..

And gives back so little?

Change is CONSTANT.. sad

This is a food for thought.
Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by RodgersAkpafu: 3:35pm On Nov 17, 2021
Saintmary:


See, don't mind all these small boys o.

I call them small boys because of their maturity not their age. Lots of them don't mature until around 50 years of age and it's not an insult.
It's just what it is!

They want to gallivant around picking up women without thought of the consequences of their actions and the impact of their activities on the innocent children.

When they finally get sense after their middle age and they find out that they only have immature men like them in their immediate circle, they start longing for a family of their own.

They will eventually marry o, I repeat, ALL of them will eventually marry. It's wired into their DNA and they are resisting now but mark my words:

THEY WILL MARRY.

Now, the kind of person they will end up with is not in this context.
As a woman, if you like, do baby mama, this life goes on, and no one will defend you. But I'll tell you, don't agree to do it.

Even George Clooney that was a confirmed bachelor married at last, I don't rate these small boys and their noise.
You are actually the one sounding like a small girl.
It is written all over your post
Look young woman
The reality on ground is that your life is what you make of it
You can get married and have absolute bliss
You can also get married and be in perpetual hell
You can be single and childless and live in bliss
You can be single and childless and die broken
You can be a single parent and have a good life
You can also be a single parent and it will be regrettable
It depends on the person in question

I am not sure this is the route I will take personally (who knows ?)
But I dont blame whoever takes that path
You never know what they have experienced to motivate such lifestyle

9 Likes

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by seyz91(m): 3:36pm On Nov 17, 2021
cheesy i dey tell you
emmanuelbrown26:

Na so man suppose dey stay in other to enjoy this life before joining his ancestors.

1 Like

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by RodgersAkpafu: 3:36pm On Nov 17, 2021
MALIGNANTGuest:

U may sound RIGHT, but what about the MEN who were raised in such good homes but ended up marrying JEZEBELS who keep tormenting them.
How would you expect such Men to see marriage?
That's the Issue..
FAMILY is supreme, no doubt.
But if you land a terrible woman, you will reject the entire entity called marriage.
Most people divorcing now we're once products of Good and Reputable Homes because most of our mothers understood MEN.
They knew the rudiments of marriage.
Mind you this is also applicable to the MEN too, who may be purveyors of destruction.

This is what people dont get
Its not about coming a dysfunctional home

2 Likes

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by codeigniter(m): 3:37pm On Nov 17, 2021
bigjackass:
This idea of what favor who... mostly irresponsible people think this way. Marriage is good as long you marry the right person. Even the whites we want to copy, most of them don't stay single. Instead they jump from one marriage to the other and divorce up and down because they enjoy being married but they haven't found the right person.

Responsibility as in slavery?

1 Like

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by AKWATGOLD1(m): 3:37pm On Nov 17, 2021
bigjackass:
This idea of what favor who... mostly irresponsible people think this way. Marriage is good as long you marry the right person. Even the whites we want to copy, most of them don't stay single. Instead they jump from one marriage to the other and divorce up and down because they enjoy being married but they haven't found the right person.

Bigjackass, pls drop me for this bus-stop.

When there is money, na the time wey marriage sweet. Within twinkle of an eye when man lost source of income, the woman don JAPA. Money is the OIL that lubricate marriage.

4 Likes

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by Pharaohny: 3:38pm On Nov 17, 2021
Righteousness2:
It is pure Fornication and Immorality.

It is an ungodly lifestyle Innovated and Propagated from the Pit of Hell.

It is a Lifestyle that will Guarantee Destruction in Hell Fire.




All your own no pass hell fire online pastor nawa ooo

1 Like

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by RodgersAkpafu: 3:39pm On Nov 17, 2021
Dirkcoyt:
Since marriage is a legal contract why don’t you do it like a contractor and a client percentage ratio.

You see contractors given 25% mobilization fee then when they see how the work goes they add more 25% then certainly the contractor wants to get rest of the money then he push the work further then he gets another 25% etc till it’s balanced then both client and contractor are satisfied without problems. Mostly it’s even the contractor begging the client to pay up that he needs his money that he has invested some funds in the project to keep it afloat .

Now let’s substitute the woman as the contractor and the man as client. As a man you’re trying to get the best value of quality and decent cost valuation from numerous women expecting you to choos them.

Rather than go the conventional way of fall in love and propose straight without letting her having something to lose and she’s having entitled mentality cause she’s seeing herself as she’s doing you a favor regardless of your responsible for her bills and house bills.

So you switch it up by reversing roles. If she’s good character get her pregnant first, do not do any introduction or marriage ! Let her be at your mercy as this time her stock is plummeting worrying about single motherhood. Bring her home or rent an apartment which ever works for you live like couples to make her save face , keep telling her you will meet her parents in due time . (By this time she will be doing all to show to you she’s a worthy wife material as she don’t want to go out again) you enjoy the cooking sex etc she’s commenting into the relationship in hope for a finally meeting with her parent for official marriage . Put in another child on the basis of you will meet her parent after the second child (by this time she’s too scared to leave and worrying who will marry a single mother of 2,she will be hoping you do the needful by putting effort ) after 10 years , meet with her family for introduction! Just introduction not marriage . Then pause again don’t move to next stage . Now this is like an official marriage Dangling in front of her then she wants the marriage after 5years of introduction introduce a prenup to her to sign . This makes her feel you’re finally ready . Then 5 years later do the official marriage that’s a journey of 20years. She has learnt and committed a lot to leave by this time and even if she walks out you got the best value of her early days already so even if she want divorce then the children are already 20 and blackmailing their mom emotional that’s it’s not the best time to divorce she should think about them. If she opt out still prenup cover you! Any which way you’ve had fun. Don’t forget to do the DNA!

The point of all this women treat and disrespect marriage when they do far too little to build it or contribute less to it! They evade easily! Make them also commit in a way and swear themselves out to build it that way it last! Don’t just give them marriage on a platter! I’ve learnt with my recent ordeal !
Interesting
Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by Pharaohny: 3:40pm On Nov 17, 2021
Marriage only favors women, what's the essence of marriage if I may ask those people rating it are only hungry of sex (Bleep) when you can get everything outside

3 Likes

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by Blackdisciple(m): 3:41pm On Nov 17, 2021
FlipModeSquade:
Traditional marriage institutions mostly favor women..

While the man is worked to death..

At the end the children only remembers their Mum as a Superwoman..

The man that put his body and health on the line..

To put food on their table..

Becomes an afterthought..

While the woman junkets from Miami to London to Paris..

In the name of Ọmụgwọ..

The old broken man sits at home counting his days..

With an occasional bottle of Gin and yards of clothes..

From his grateful children and in laws..

Tell me..

Why shouldn't a sensible being.

Have a rethink about an institution that takes so much from him..

And gives back so little?

Change is CONSTANT.. sad



Hmmmm....

1 Like

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by emmanuelbrown26: 3:41pm On Nov 17, 2021
Dirkcoyt:
Since marriage is a legal contract why don’t you do it like a contractor and a client percentage ratio.

You see contractors given 25% mobilization fee then when they see how the work goes they add more 25% then certainly the contractor wants to get rest of the money then he push the work further then he gets another 25% etc till it’s balanced then both client and contractor are satisfied without problems. Mostly it’s even the contractor begging the client to pay up that he needs his money that he has invested some funds in the project to keep it afloat .

Now let’s substitute the woman as the contractor and the man as client. As a man you’re trying to get the best value of quality and decent cost valuation from numerous women expecting you to choos them.

Rather than go the conventional way of fall in love and propose straight without letting her having something to lose and she’s having entitled mentality cause she’s seeing herself as she’s doing you a favor regardless of your responsible for her bills and house bills.

So you switch it up by reversing roles. If she’s good character get her pregnant first, do not do any introduction or marriage ! Let her be at your mercy as this time her stock is plummeting worrying about single motherhood. Bring her home or rent an apartment which ever works for you live like couples to make her save face , keep telling her you will meet her parents in due time . (By this time she will be doing all to show to you she’s a worthy wife material as she don’t want to go out again) you enjoy the cooking sex etc she’s commenting into the relationship in hope for a finally meeting with her parent for official marriage . Put in another child on the basis of you will meet her parent after the second child (by this time she’s too scared to leave and worrying who will marry a single mother of 2,she will be hoping you do the needful by putting effort ) after 10 years , meet with her family for introduction! Just introduction not marriage . Then pause again don’t move to next stage . Now this is like an official marriage Dangling in front of her then she wants the marriage after 5years of introduction introduce a prenup to her to sign . This makes her feel you’re finally ready . Then 5 years later do the official marriage that’s a journey of 20years. She has learnt and committed a lot to leave by this time and even if she walks out you got the best value of her early days already so even if she want divorce then the children are already 20 and blackmailing their mom emotional that’s it’s not the best time to divorce she should think about them. If she opt out still prenup cover you! Any which way you’ve had fun. Don’t forget to do the DNA!

The point of all this women treat and disrespect marriage when they do far too little to build it or contribute less to it! They evade easily! Make them also commit in a way and swear themselves out to build it that way it last! Don’t just give them marriage on a platter! I’ve learnt with my recent ordeal !
I can feel your pain brother, and its like this your narrative is the best, I have learnt something from u
Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by seanwilliam(m): 3:42pm On Nov 17, 2021
If I look at my parents and how they have been able to be together for this long , I always want to marry .

But if I look at some members of my family and the hell they’re going through in the hands of the women they got married to, I always rebuke marriage .






Left to me,

I will just go for introduction , sign prenup, then get her pregnant. i won’t perform any traditional duty on her except taking care of her and the baby In the best way I can . And anytime she does nonsense or starts giving me issues, I will just discharge her like that. I know I can’t eat my cake and have it but I will never trade my peace of mind for anything .

8 Likes

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by McOluOmo: 3:42pm On Nov 17, 2021
aktolly54:
when a single father grow old, who will take care of him? Baby mama
shallow minded, what a man need do in this world is to make an excess money(wealth), a man doesn't need any gahdem' children to take care of him in his old age, his money can do dat for him....

5 Likes

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by Gee64: 3:42pm On Nov 17, 2021
Marriage makes one responsible and complete so please shut up!
Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by RodgersAkpafu: 3:43pm On Nov 17, 2021
Ladycewhy:
Except they want to be deadbeats which is very cheap . After all no law in Nigeria will tax them on child support .


In my opinion being a dad and being a husband are two different roles
As long as he is taking care of all the needs of the kid (beyond physical and monetary needs of course) , he is not a dead beat dad
Think about it

5 Likes

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by Saintmary(f): 3:43pm On Nov 17, 2021
RodgersAkpafu:

You are actually the one sounding like a small girl.
It is written all over your post
Look young woman
The reality on ground is that your life is what you make of it
You can get married and have absolute bliss
You can also get married and be in perpetual hell
You can be single and childless and live in bliss
You can be single and childless and die broken
You can be a single parent and have a good life
You can also be a single parent and it will be regrettable
It depends on the person in question

I am not sure this is the route I will take personally (who knows ?)
But I dont blame whoever takes that path
You never know what they have experienced to motivate such lifestyle

I already know lots of people will not just take it.

They wee not take it.

My major emphasis is this, no matter how much you try to paint it, we all need loving contact, and we'll subconsciously look for it.

Show me a man who, for the entirety of his lifetime has never spent more than three consecutive years with one woman wether inside or outside wedlock. Then we can continue this conversation.
Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by Pharaohny: 3:43pm On Nov 17, 2021
RodgersAkpafu:

Interesting




Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa



You be killer ooooo
See finishing
Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by Maobichek: 3:44pm On Nov 17, 2021
FlipModeSquade:
Traditional marriage institutions mostly favor women..

While the man is worked to death..

At the end the children only remembers their Mum as a Superwoman..

The man that put his body and health on the line..

To put food on their table..

Becomes an afterthought..

While the woman junkets from Miami to London to Paris..

In the name of Ọmụgwọ..

The old broken man sits at home counting his days..

With an occasional bottle of Gin and yards of clothes..

From his grateful children and in laws..

Tell me..

Why shouldn't a sensible being.

Have a rethink about an institution that takes so much from him..

And gives back so little?

Change is CONSTANT.. sad

Omugwo is Igbo tradition, do Yoruba, Hausa, Fulani, ijaw etc understand and practice Omugwo?
Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by RodgersAkpafu: 3:45pm On Nov 17, 2021
Gee64:
Marriage makes one responsible and complete so please shut up!
Another interesting view

1 Like

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by Shegzy8(m): 3:45pm On Nov 17, 2021
Klass99:


The bolded is a typical narrative by some nairaland male users, but do you guys ever stop to think that - YOU ARE, WHAT YOU ATTRACT? No offense meant either.


Not always

1 Like

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by Legendoo: 3:45pm On Nov 17, 2021
Copying westerner's, immorality and social media destroyed the basis for marriage in Nigeria.

Something you could have avoided if yall had sense.

It's going to get worse, enjoy your western lifestyle. grin and accept that everything will collapse ultimately. At least on the plus side there'll be more sluts to fvk.

1 Like

Re: Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock by nfcshanghai(m): 3:46pm On Nov 17, 2021
Deputy Jesus continue ..

1 Like

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