₦airaland Forum

hashbag1:
Nlanders,
I have been married for 9 years now, amidst several incidences that gave me suspicions over my wife's infidelity. The one that happened of recent gave me nothing more than great suspicion over any other.

My daughter and son got infection, they were admitted into the hospital. On this faithful day, I was there with them and I left the hospital in the afternoon to get something for them to eat, I got back with the food and quickly rushed down to my office to tidy some work. I felt hungry and decided to drive out, on my way to the restaurant leads to the hospital, I was in traffic when I put a call through to my wife whom I asked how she was coping and how the kids were doing, while on call with her, I heard sounds of car horns so I asked if she was out, she said yes that she was going to get water across the stree, so i was like you shouldnt have stressed yourself since
the house maid was with her, next thing she yelled at me saying why am I making ascertion as to who should go get the water or not, I was like but that isnt a big deal to ask, she was like well the house girl have been the one running errands all day, I responded saying instead of yelling at me, you would have just responded by saying the above.

As a responsible and concerned father, I decided to suspend dinner and branch at the hospital which took me 8 mins to get there because of traffic. On getting to the hospital, lo and behold, my wife was not there, just the kids and the house maid. I asked the house maid where madam was, she said she stepped out without saying where she was going. I immediately put a call through to her. "Babes where are you at, just got here now and you are not here". She immediately hung up on me, I called back, she didnt pick, called her again didn't pick, waited few mins and called, she picked and yelled "why are you looking for me" I was like but you claimed you went to
go get water but its been up to 15mins and you are not here yet, next thing she said was I'm in a uber car, Wow uber car when you just said you went across the street to get water, how does being in uber car relate to that. I requested a video call, I hung up the normal call and called her on whatsapp call, she didn't pick, I called her back again on normal call and said you aren't picking, she responded saying am in uber car now, call me on video again, I did but she still didnt pick. So I decided not to bother since declaring her whereabout seems frutile. She called back on normal call saying she was on her way home to pick some her items to quickly do an advertising shoot to model to her customers in the hospital room, that she didnt want me to get mad at her reason why she didn't tell me before she left, I was like its not a big deal telling me that after which I have found out she never did go out there to buy water.

Husbands and fathers in the house, in this kind of situation, what could have been your thought? As for me, something was not just right, and the most damning part of all these is leaving the kids at the mercy of just the house maid, I feel if there is something she is hiding from me and leaving the kids like that is what
the issue of trust has led us to, I am left in amazement and total disappointment.

Something is definitely wrong but my advice is don't get your self worked up over it, a cheating partner will always cheat. Just prepare your mind for the worst, a day will definitely come to reveal everything without you putting any effort in trying to catch her, she can never be smarter the than God and that day. It may just turn out a direct opposite of what you think, Calm down, women are so unpredictable. Am talking from 15 solid years of marriage experience.

Drogunov:
So what about the lies? The cover-ups? The inconsistent narratives? You don't do that to the man you love. Truthfulness and being plain is not exclusively for men. Its a 2 way thing. When you begin to say A in a marriage and your man cannot believe it for obvious reasons, then the relationship is gone. If your man behaves just like the narrator's wife did, i am sure it will be a red flag situation. You women are really terrible! And irredeemably selfish.

Lol, understatement of the weak, bro.

At op, be very wary of the band of women screaming "insecure" at you. It's basically a gaslighting tactics to instill doubt into your mind and they usually employ this when you are seemingly on the right track.

InTheCloudySky:
She didn't inform him, as she didn't tell him before leaving. Remember, both of their kids are at the hospital with infection, thus both parents should've been communicating with one another if one leaves to do something. I imagine he informed them when he was going to get food for the kids and he did come back with the food for them. She, on the other hand, didn't tell him before leaving the kids. It wasn't until he called her to ask how she was coping (thinking she was at the hospital where he had left her) that she told him she was going to get water, meaning it wasn't like she told him beforehand. What she actually told him was a lie because she didn't go to get water/it wasn't water that she had gone to get, so in a way, she didn't inform him of nothing.

I don't see any insecurity here. Anyone in his shoes would be wondering what's going on. She was behaving funny (yelling at him only because he showed concern, not picking his call again, she supposedly went across the street but he went a further distance and returned before her). Anyone in his shoes would be scratching their head. He said in his OP that there have been several other incidences as well, so you can put yourself in his shoes.

If the OP hadn't laced his post from the start with statements about his wife supposedly cheating on him, I believe your view of this would have been a lot less tainted than it is now.

Scratching your head is one thing but jumping to the conclusion that it had to be she was out cheating is another thing.

Fiscus105:
I'm trying to tell you that, you shouldn't be gender bias in ur opinions.

The way female disappointed is the same way guys do. Try to learn how to balance ur opinions on issue raised.

Common! what is fvcking wrong with u?
i clearly told u that i wrote on the context of sexual relationship which is inline with op's topic and you are telling me to balance...
Or do i have sexual relationship with men? Or are we talking business here?

aminusodiq:
till today... She didn't give any valid reason why she acted that way.
Dont find excuse for promiscuity

Is it like a rule in your marriage that you always give what you call a valid reason for everything you do?

Maybe it is that we don't have the details of your marriage contract with your wife. I see an overbearing/insecure husband when I read the OP. So , help me, is this an arrangement you have with your wife that she make certain she tells you where she is every other minute of her day?

I noticed that she didnt seem to inquire the same same you hence the reason why I took it to be an issue on the side of the One and not the other.

FourElements:
The fact is that the wife is secretive and disrespectful. This leaves little room for trust

The disrespect was mutual in this case. And secretive? Abeg!

Murjem:
You speak so much in ignorance, nonsense!!!
Leave marital issues and advice for people who are married with experience...
How can a mother abandoned her children on the sick bed for the maids and claiming to be preparing for a model photo shoot within the hospital.
Yes, she was suppose to report every of her moves to the husband.
This is Nigeria, as we think of good also bear in mind that bad things also happen at the same time.

Children left with the same maid that cares for them are abandoned? It seems the moment many of you read the word "Cheating" you completely loose your ability to objectively process information.

ojasweb:
What should a man do if the wife ask, "who is folaqueen"?

Should the man yell at her?

PS: i only used folaqueen to avoid mentioning someone's name directly.

I don't follow at all. What has that to do with this context?

Kobojunkiee:
The disrespect was mutual in this case. And secretive? Abeg!

If you say so!

Kobojunkiee:
Dude, this your conversation with your wife sounded more like an interrogation session to me. If say na me be her, I for turn my phone off from the time you started querying my decision to go get water across the street. For real, interrogations of that kind, and from a so-called love one... I no dey do at all.

Something was not right about what exactly that you literally took to interrogating your wife's every move when it wasn't as if your kids were abandoned or something? The maid was with them so... Was she meant to report her every movement to you or something?

Leaving the kids at the mercy of the maid? Are you for real? If you can't leave your kids with your maid, what do you have a maid for?

People like you, na una wife dey sweet to pound pass because the hussy na mumu

Kenturkey048:
It seems you didn't read where he said he's been suspecting her of cheating...

I actually that is the problem with many of the readers here... unable to objectively process what the OP said because he began by lacing it all with the fact that he suspects hjs wife of cheating.

If you remove that claim of his, and objectively processed what he infact narrated, you would find that there is absolutely no proof revealed of his suspicions in his story except that which he claimed.

300wayne:
did you miss that she lied to him about her whereabout?
Lies are the bedrock for distrust plus I absolutely see nothing wrong neither will I take offence if my partner asks for my location/sitrep even if they're doing it from a place of distrust. This your notion is akin to people who say "so long as we're not yet married, then it's not cheating"

Oh please stop! How many times have you gotten up to go but one thing oy to remember you need or want something else after you get there. Abeg, make una dey at least process these things!

Kobojunkiee:
I actually that is the problem with many of the readers here... unable to objectively process what the OP said because he began by lacing it all with the fact that he suspects hjs wife of cheating.

If you remove that claim of his, and objectively processed what he infact narrated, you would find that there is absolutely no proof revealed of his suspicions in his story except that which he claimed.

I don't know ooh..But sincerity is very necessary... She, also been too defensive is something to worry about...Its nothing to say, "babe see where i dey oooh" why lying??.. I go buy water across the road..Later turn I dey inside Uber..later turn photoshoot for situation where your children dey admitted...?? ...GOD no go allow me get all these kind wife.

When you catch woman lose guardedly she sort to para mode to divert situation..i've been in this same situation with a girlfriend....I swear to God the O.P's instinct isn't decieving him atall...

From all indications boss..she is fishy...Its just that the OP himself is a PUSSY...She done downgrade am finish that was why she could openly spit pepe to his eyes...

ak22:
Stop supporting bad behavior . They are married. So he has every reason to know her Movement ok?

Marriage no be shackle or prison...stop treating your partners as though prisoners , well unless that is the kind of marriage you both agreed to.

kiddkash:
it was a friendly conversation between husband and wife. like hey, why stress yourself so much just ask the maid to do it and immediately she picked offence. or can't you see it

Friendly? Friendly?

Kenturkey048:
I don't know ooh..But sincerity is very necessary... She also been too defensive is something to worry about.... When you catch woman lose guardedly she sort to para mode to divert situation.....

From all indications boss..she is fishy...Its just that the OP himself is a pussy...She done downgrade am finish that was she could openly pit salt inside his eyes....

If the Op hadn't first laced his narrative with the claim that he has suspicions his wife had been cheating on him, I am positive that a lot of you would not consider any of what his wife did as "fishy".

Look, being a man is more about realizing that you control nothing and no one, ok? He was clearly insecure because he suspects his wife is cheating on him, which she could be but we don't know for sure. But the truth many refuse to tell themselves themselves events in life is that if it will happen, it will happen and no amount of control you try to impose on those around you will keep it from happening.

hashbag1:
Nlanders,
I have been married for 9 years now, amidst several incidences that gave me suspicions over my wife's infidelity. The one that happened of recent gave me nothing more than great suspicion over any other.

My daughter and son got infection, they were admitted into the hospital. On this faithful day, I was there with them and I left the hospital in the afternoon to get something for them to eat, I got back with the food and quickly rushed down to my office to tidy some work. I felt hungry and decided to drive out, on my way to the restaurant leads to the hospital, I was in traffic when I put a call through to my wife whom I asked how she was coping and how the kids were doing, while on call with her, I heard sounds of car horns so I asked if she was out, she said yes that she was going to get water across the stree, so i was like you shouldnt have stressed yourself since
the house maid was with her, next thing she yelled at me saying why am I making ascertion as to who should go get the water or not, I was like but that isnt a big deal to ask, she was like well the house girl have been the one running errands all day, I responded saying instead of yelling at me, you would have just responded by saying the above.

As a responsible and concerned father, I decided to suspend dinner and branch at the hospital which took me 8 mins to get there because of traffic. On getting to the hospital, lo and behold, my wife was not there, just the kids and the house maid. I asked the house maid where madam was, she said she stepped out without saying where she was going. I immediately put a call through to her. "Babes where are you at, just got here now and you are not here". She immediately hung up on me, I called back, she didnt pick, called her again didn't pick, waited few mins and called, she picked and yelled "why are you looking for me" I was like but you claimed you went to
go get water but its been up to 15mins and you are not here yet, next thing she said was I'm in a uber car, Wow uber car when you just said you went across the street to get water, how does being in uber car relate to that. I requested a video call, I hung up the normal call and called her on whatsapp call, she didn't pick, I called her back again on normal call and said you aren't picking, she responded saying am in uber car now, call me on video again, I did but she still didnt pick. So I decided not to bother since declaring her whereabout seems frutile. She called back on normal call saying she was on her way home to pick some her items to quickly do an advertising shoot to model to her customers in the hospital room, that she didnt want me to get mad at her reason why she didn't tell me before she left, I was like its not a big deal telling me that after which I have found out she never did go out there to buy water.

Husbands and fathers in the house, in this kind of situation, what could have been your thought? As for me, something was not just right, and the most damning part of all these is leaving the kids at the mercy of just the house maid, I feel if there is something she is hiding from me and leaving the kids like that is what
the issue of trust has led us to, I am left in amazement and total disappointment.

Go and DNA your kids.

Kobojunkiee:
If the Op hadn't first laced his narrative with the claim that he has suspicions his wife had been cheating on him, I am positive that a lot of you would not consider any of what his wife did as "fishy".

Look, being a man is more about realizing that you control nothing and no one, ok? He was insecure because he suspects his wife is cheating on him, which she could be but we don't know for sure. But the truth many refuse to tell themselves life is that if it will happen, it will happen and no amount of control you try to impose on those around you will keep it from happening.

Okay... Gree you own make I gree my own...

Fishy ways breed suspicions...Babe way dey sneak receive calls you go suspect her because that's a suspicious act...Meaning Op's suspicion grew because she's been doing what a married woman isn't supposed to do.

You don't control anybody as a man. But being a husband alone demands respect from your spouse... I don't know the angle from which you are getting your assertions oooh...
But as I earlier said...Gree your own...make I gree my own...

NetValueFX:
You are very experienced. Seriously, woman have fish brain. Can you imagine that some made a woman fall for him by giving her a seed of beans as a token of love.

if you are ready to cheat as a man or woman be ready to destroy your marriage ,I no support any gender

dollarlander:
Go and DNA your kids.

e don reach that level
lol

Arsenate:
Lol, understatement of the weak, bro.

At op, be very wary of the band of women screaming "insecure" at you. It's basically a gaslighting tactics to instill doubt into your mind and they usually employ this when you are seemingly on the right track.

insecure is the term most women use when they want to get away with their cunny acts

Kenturkey048:
Okay... Gree you own make I gree my own...

Fishy ways breed suspicions...Babe way dey sneak receive calls you go suspect her because that's a suspicious act...Meaning Op's suspicion grew because she's been doing what a married woman isn't supposed to do.

You don't control anybody as a man. But being a husband alone demands respect from your spouse... I don't know the angle from which you are getting your assertions oooh...
But as I earlier said...Gree your own...make I gree my own...

You don't get respect by being controlling and imposing... that is fear and not respect. The moment your victim wakes up from their delusion, and there fear of you is gone, all that is left left disgust.

If you want to be respected in your relationships, even your marriage, you need to understand that you get what you give - the more you give it, the more you get it- that is the general rule for these things in life. You want to be respected by your spouse, show your partner the respect you desire.

hashbag1:
Nlanders,
I have been married for 9 years now, amidst several incidences that gave me suspicions over my wife's infidelity. The one that happened of recent gave me nothing more than great suspicion over any other.

My daughter and son got infection, they were admitted into the hospital. On this faithful day, I was there with them and I left the hospital in the afternoon to get something for them to eat, I got back with the food and quickly rushed down to my office to tidy some work. I felt hungry and decided to drive out, on my way to the restaurant leads to the hospital, I was in traffic when I put a call through to my wife whom I asked how she was coping and how the kids were doing, while on call with her, I heard sounds of car horns so I asked if she was out, she said yes that she was going to get water across the stree, so i was like you shouldnt have stressed yourself since
the house maid was with her, next thing she yelled at me saying why am I making ascertion as to who should go get the water or not, I was like but that isnt a big deal to ask, she was like well the house girl have been the one running errands all day, I responded saying instead of yelling at me, you would have just responded by saying the above.

As a responsible and concerned father, I decided to suspend dinner and branch at the hospital which took me 8 mins to get there because of traffic. On getting to the hospital, lo and behold, my wife was not there, just the kids and the house maid. I asked the house maid where madam was, she said she stepped out without saying where she was going. I immediately put a call through to her. "Babes where are you at, just got here now and you are not here". She immediately hung up on me, I called back, she didnt pick, called her again didn't pick, waited few mins and called, she picked and yelled "why are you looking for me" I was like but you claimed you went to
go get water but its been up to 15mins and you are not here yet, next thing she said was I'm in a uber car, Wow uber car when you just said you went across the street to get water, how does being in uber car relate to that. I requested a video call, I hung up the normal call and called her on whatsapp call, she didn't pick, I called her back again on normal call and said you aren't picking, she responded saying am in uber car now, call me on video again, I did but she still didnt pick. So I decided not to bother since declaring her whereabout seems frutile. She called back on normal call saying she was on her way home to pick some her items to quickly do an advertising shoot to model to her customers in the hospital room, that she didnt want me to get mad at her reason why she didn't tell me before she left, I was like its not a big deal telling me that after which I have found out she never did go out there to buy water.

Husbands and fathers in the house, in this kind of situation, what could have been your thought? As for me, something was not just right, and the most damning part of all these is leaving the kids at the mercy of just the house maid, I feel if there is something she is hiding from me and leaving the kids like that is what
the issue of trust has led us to, I am left in amazement and total disappointment.

Why are you monitoring your wife sir.you sound like those possessive husbands who does not gv their wives breathing space.putting her in d position to always lie in order not to offend you.abeg free her.a woman whose child is in d hospital will not be in d right frame of mind to cheat

To know a guilty woman, they shout and use insulting words to cover up there misdeed. But suspecting her is not enough, you need to catch her red-handed. She will be more careful now if she knows you are watching her

She's cheating. Period.

hashbag1:
Nlanders,
I have been married for 9 years now, amidst several incidences that gave me suspicions over my wife's infidelity. The one that happened of recent gave me nothing more than great suspicion over any other.

My daughter and son got infection, they were admitted into the hospital. On this faithful day, I was there with them and I left the hospital in the afternoon to get something for them to eat, I got back with the food and quickly rushed down to my office to tidy some work. I felt hungry and decided to drive out, on my way to the restaurant leads to the hospital, I was in traffic when I put a call through to my wife whom I asked how she was coping and how the kids were doing, while on call with her, I heard sounds of car horns so I asked if she was out, she said yes that she was going to get water across the stree, so i was like you shouldnt have stressed yourself since
the house maid was with her, next thing she yelled at me saying why am I making ascertion as to who should go get the water or not, I was like but that isnt a big deal to ask, she was like well the house girl have been the one running errands all day, I responded saying instead of yelling at me, you would have just responded by saying the above.

As a responsible and concerned father, I decided to suspend dinner and branch at the hospital which took me 8 mins to get there because of traffic. On getting to the hospital, lo and behold, my wife was not there, just the kids and the house maid. I asked the house maid where madam was, she said she stepped out without saying where she was going. I immediately put a call through to her. "Babes where are you at, just got here now and you are not here". She immediately hung up on me, I called back, she didnt pick, called her again didn't pick, waited few mins and called, she picked and yelled "why are you looking for me" I was like but you claimed you went to
go get water but its been up to 15mins and you are not here yet, next thing she said was I'm in a uber car, Wow uber car when you just said you went across the street to get water, how does being in uber car relate to that. I requested a video call, I hung up the normal call and called her on whatsapp call, she didn't pick, I called her back again on normal call and said you aren't picking, she responded saying am in uber car now, call me on video again, I did but she still didnt pick. So I decided not to bother since declaring her whereabout seems frutile. She called back on normal call saying she was on her way home to pick some her items to quickly do an advertising shoot to model to her customers in the hospital room, that she didnt want me to get mad at her reason why she didn't tell me before she left, I was like its not a big deal telling me that after which I have found out she never did go out there to buy water.

Husbands and fathers in the house, in this kind of situation, what could have been your thought? As for me, something was not just right, and the most damning part of all these is leaving the kids at the mercy of just the house maid, I feel if there is something she is hiding from me and leaving the kids like that is what
the issue of trust has led us to, I am left in amazement and total disappointment.

You two need to have a serious conversation about communicating with respect

Is she usually this quick to anger?

If your intuition is telling you that she's cheating, take it seriously but first look for evidence to confirm it before jumping to conclusions

Really

aminusodiq:
similar to what my friends gf did to him. My guy paid for her transport to visit her school because she needed to collect her certificate.

Babe reach ogun, babe no gree pick call again. When she picks, she'll yell and drop within 2 secs. I tried calling too, but she never picked till the following morning. Guess what, she was online and replying texts after some hours.

Now i told my guy to request for a video call, and na where wahala. Begin be that. Shes someone who would do v.call without even asking on a norm. But on this day she said she was on queue and cant pick call.
Guess what? She was on queue from 10am till 6pm as she never picked any of those calls.

Well i adviced my guy to leave her alone and wait till she return before we do our own counter attack. On the third day... She called when she reached the park and still had the odercity to request for return transport. ... Request outrightly denied.

Conclusion: me and my friend already made a plan for her.... Guy already let go of all issues and they are back to normal, no more free money and gifts. But, according to my friend. She has a juicy pusssy and shes still useful. She'll forever remain a side chick and shes only meant for fucking, till she realise the game herself. She lives in close proximity, and shes the best fit for that . She came last sunday though they were fucking tirelessly while i listened to the werey ringtone in the siting room.

I once told her to ask for cheating clues next time.... Shes a very poor cheater!!!

Some guys can be very wicked. So your friend is just f*cking and using her while she's there thinking that she's his main chick?

Kobojunkiee:
So....?

did you two ever actually find hard evidence that she cheated on that trip or are you boys simply content concluding she did simply on grounds that she did not pick up phone or video chat you when you wanted her to?

So her changed usual weird attitude is not enough to considered as an exibit ?

Kobojunkiee:
I don't follow at all. What has that to do with this context?

If you don't follow, it shows that your comprehension of issues is extremely low. You accuse the OP of interrogating his wife, reason for her to yell at him, as if he doesn't have right to do so.

Then i ask you if the man can yell at his wife for asking who is so so person.

And you say it doesn't follow?

bepositive11:
Some guys can be very wicked. So your friend is just f*cking and using her while she's there thinking that she's his main chick?

yes!!! Any problem with that?...

Kobojunkiee:
Marriage no be shackle or prison...stop treating your partners as though prisoners , well unless that is the kind of marriage you both agreed to.

It is well .
Have you married ma ?