Witlee1:
My gf got pregnant, I'm not an advocate of abortion so I told her to keep it so I and my live-in gf had a child (girl) outside wedlock who is 2 years old now and I took care of her and the child for 1 year and 8 months,paid the hospital bills and everything, which a single dough of the girls family didn't come to the wellbeing of the child, it was All me which the mother of the girl is aware of.

Though I dont want to marry the girl now due to the harsh economy of Nigeria but I have plans to marry her later on plus I can't just jump into marriage when I'm not yet able to cater for a family yet so I told her to keep the child with her mother till I can be able to stand on my feet and foster for us all,me and my gf still lived together without the baby and I helped her pay some fees for her school cuz I understood that for my baby to be educated the mother needs to be .

Fast forward to now, the mother of my gf doesn't want me to see my child because I don't want to marry my gf now, my gf and her mother had to even report me to human rights for me never to contact my gf any longer cuz I am threatening her which I never did... I tried contacting my gf to know what is happening, she's not picking her calls neither is the mother too and when I texted my gf she rained insults on me lol (life's so unfair)

NB: I learnt from a reliable source that the mother of my gf is the one Influencing her this way,my gf is also in her 3rd year at school
I'm so confused, please advice me on next step to take

probably the mother has gotten her a financially buoyant individual to marry. I will advice you to focus on your Hussle and forget her for your own sanity. If she really wants you she would have convinced her mum and not rain insult on you when she picks her call if what you said is actually true though. Because we didn't hear her own side.

But you coming hear to post this really means you really want her and the child as a family. If not you wouldn't have give a damn about it

They are acting up because you are delaying the marriage. Maybe another guy is knocking already and they are looking for a way to shut you out.
Marry her if you love her period.

Witlee1:


Thank you I appreciate, I have plans to marry her but not when I'm finding it hard to get on my feet
I have tried engaging my gf on what is on ground but she isn't even showing any sign of wanting to have a talk, people have advised me to blank her totally with the child but cuz I love her I don't want to

Witlee1:
My gf got pregnant, I'm not an advocate of abortion so I told her to keep it so I and my live-in gf had a child (girl) outside wedlock who is 2 years old now and I took care of her and the child for 1 year and 8 months,paid the hospital bills and everything, which a single dough of the girls family didn't come to the wellbeing of the child, it was All me which the mother of the girl is aware of, though I dont want to marry the girl now due to the harsh economy of Nigeria but I have plans to marry her latter on plus I can't just jump into marriage when I'm not yet able to cater for a family yet so I told her to keep the child with her mother till I can be able to stand on my feet and foster for us all,me and my gf still lived together without the baby and I helped her pay some fees for her school cuz I understood that for my baby to be educated the mother needs to be .

Fast forward to now, the mother of my gf doesn't want me to see my child because I don't want to marry my gf now, my gf and her mother had to even report me to human rights for me never to contact my gf any longer cuz I am threatening her which I never did... I tried contacting my gf to know what is happening, she's not picking her calls neither is the mother too and when I texted my gf she rained insults on me lol (life's so unfair)

NB: I learnt from a reliable source that the mother of my gf is the one Influencing her this way,my gf is also in her 3rd year at school
I'm so confused, please advice me on next step to take

@bolded
Ur type full here, bashing ladies up and down, telling them they left you for ready made guy

Now you u can see reason for ready made guy



.... If you are the mother in law, can you allow such disjointed marriage for ur daughter?

Witlee1:
My gf got pregnant, I'm not an advocate of abortion so I told her to keep it so I and my live-in gf had a child (girl) outside wedlock who is 2 years old now and I took care of her and the child for 1 year and 8 months,paid the hospital bills and everything, which a single dough of the girls family didn't come to the wellbeing of the child, it was All me which the mother of the girl is aware of.

Though I dont want to marry the girl now due to the harsh economy of Nigeria but I have plans to marry her later on plus I can't just jump into marriage when I'm not yet able to cater for a family yet so I told her to keep the child with her mother till I can be able to stand on my feet and foster for us all,me and my gf still lived together without the baby and I helped her pay some fees for her school cuz I understood that for my baby to be educated the mother needs to be .

Fast forward to now, the mother of my gf doesn't want me to see my child because I don't want to marry my gf now, my gf and her mother had to even report me to human rights for me never to contact my gf any longer cuz I am threatening her which I never did... I tried contacting my gf to know what is happening, she's not picking her calls neither is the mother too and when I texted my gf she rained insults on me lol (life's so unfair)

NB: I learnt from a reliable source that the mother of my gf is the one Influencing her this way,my gf is also in her 3rd year at school
I'm so confused, please advice me on next step to take

How are u sure you are the father of the baby, only the mother knows. Most child is this kind of relationship are questionable. My thought though. Enjoy ur day.

Your story is one-sided. Pls Let me hear from your gf b4 I can advice

1nigeriamyfoot:


Ordinary Gold Circle wey dey very cheap sef for prevent this wahala

If you really want to get help, you have to say what happened. I find it hard to believe she just woke up and took you to human rights. Did you do anything to her? Did you threaten her? If you have done nothing to her, then go to court. The court will grant you a stay in the life of your baby and you take responsibility for the upkeep of the child. Its not so difficult.
You loving her and wanting to marry her is not my problem. But I will not advice my brother to marry a woman whose mother have a great influence on.

basswoodd2222:
Your story is one-sided. Pls Let me hear from your gf b4 I can advice

i tire o...na idiot..no one is supporting him on this..if he has a daughter will he allow his daughter to be a delivery mechine...how much for bride price.the goat has money..but another person don they him eye. He give wrong person belle.he nor wan marry her.he wants to create problrms then drive the young girl and start blaming tge mother inlaw

IbadeHQ:


How are u sure you are the father of the baby, only the mother knows. Most child is this kind of relationship are questionable. My thought though. Enjoy ur day.

who cares if he is the father..for a matured man to tell this one sided story..my brother he doesnt deserve to be a father..

Witlee1:


I didn't abandon the baby, infact I took care of the baby and the mother for almost 2 years
I'm hearing they want to pack out of the house they are staying now so should I still relax and wait?

No involve her elders Too also go with police so the will know ur not joking guy no give them chance to mess up that kids head that you never stood up for her do everything to have ur daughter close by if it means bring war to them do so and no marry that girl again. She be winch

FlipModeSquade:
Lol..
MR life's unfair..
The pity party..
You are waiting for..
Will shortly be arriving..

you rest na! Haba u nor get work?

BABANGBALI:
says who? Na so una go dey talk nonsense with una useless traditions

The child is not his, the mother has the right to barr him forever.

So, you need to stay focused. Your priority at this time should be your child. Find out what will amount to adequate child maintenance for your kid and totally ignore her mother and the lady you call mother-in-law.

Send that money monthly without fail and document the evidence. The child is your responsibility whether you married her mother or not. At this rate, you will hurt yourself if you go chasing after a girl who has emotionally moved away from you.

Do what you must as a man, and you stand a good chance of that girl eventually seeing your worth as an individual. If not, you will have no reason to be ashamed to stand before your child in the future.

You have a duty at this point to the child you sired. Her mother probably has other plans at the moment that does not include you, or she is already executing that plan. This is the journey of life.

This is not a good place to be, but even this will pass.

Be well.

One can see that you love her.
You can marry her now.
Her family (mother) know your condition and you should explain to them again how difficult for you.
The mother would be helping out also.

The gf mother is worried that her after one daughter might be left out without husband for life.

Witlee1:
My gf got pregnant, I'm not an advocate of abortion so I told her to keep it so I and my live-in gf had a child (girl) outside wedlock who is 2 years old now and I took care of her and the child for 1 year and 8 months,paid the hospital bills and everything, which a single dough of the girls family didn't come to the wellbeing of the child, it was All me which the mother of the girl is aware of.

Though I dont want to marry the girl now due to the harsh economy of Nigeria but I have plans to marry her later on plus I can't just jump into marriage when I'm not yet able to cater for a family yet so I told her to keep the child with her mother till I can be able to stand on my feet and foster for us all,me and my gf still lived together without the baby and I helped her pay some fees for her school cuz I understood that for my baby to be educated the mother needs to be .

Fast forward to now, the mother of my gf doesn't want me to see my child because I don't want to marry my gf now, my gf and her mother had to even report me to human rights for me never to contact my gf any longer cuz I am threatening her which I never did... I tried contacting my gf to know what is happening, she's not picking her calls neither is the mother too and when I texted my gf she rained insults on me lol (life's so unfair)

NB: I learnt from a reliable source that the mother of my gf is the one Influencing her this way,my gf is also in her 3rd year at school
I'm so confused, please advice me on next step to take

How is she your mother in law when you ain't married to the daughter?

Witlee1:
My gf got pregnant, I'm not an advocate of abortion so I told her to keep it so I and my live-in gf had a child (girl) outside wedlock who is 2 years old now and I took care of her and the child for 1 year and 8 months,paid the hospital bills and everything, which a single dough of the girls family didn't come to the wellbeing of the child, it was All me which the mother of the girl is aware of.

Though I dont want to marry the girl now due to the harsh economy of Nigeria but I have plans to marry her later on plus I can't just jump into marriage when I'm not yet able to cater for a family yet so I told her to keep the child with her mother till I can be able to stand on my feet and foster for us all,me and my gf still lived together without the baby and I helped her pay some fees for her school cuz I understood that for my baby to be educated the mother needs to be .

Fast forward to now, the mother of my gf doesn't want me to see my child because I don't want to marry my gf now, my gf and her mother had to even report me to human rights for me never to contact my gf any longer cuz I am threatening her which I never did... I tried contacting my gf to know what is happening, she's not picking her calls neither is the mother too and when I texted my gf she rained insults on me lol (life's so unfair)

NB: I learnt from a reliable source that the mother of my gf is the one Influencing her this way,my gf is also in her 3rd year at school
I'm so confused, please advice me on next step to take

The woman is only trying to get your attention. Lol. She wants you marry her daughter.

You have two options:

1. Find some elders to go and appeal to her. Use the economic as an excuse, and then find a working schedule for your marriage. It may be 3 or even 4 years from today ooo. Guy, you may assure them with introduction of possible. I'm saying this cos you mentioned that you want to marry her, but not now.

See the woman has seen you are a responsible man so she has decided to take the risk of what she is doing. Lol. She has calculated it that you willl be moved.

2. Guy, discharge her and her mom. Bone up and act like you are moving on. The girl will run after you. Guy, you have nothing to lose ooo. Since you trust the woman with your child in the first place, you can as well leave her there oooo. It's not as if you dont trust the woman. See bros...what matters now is your action and what you do. If things dont work the way you want and they also they dont want you again, just go open educational fund for your baby and your baby is the only one who can withdraw it when about going to the university. Period. This is computer age ooo. Track your baby. All you need is to let her know she has money somewhere you have been saving for her. Give her the account number and let her know it's for her education.

Either option you pick above... God-Win.

Everyday demonizing women. Pointless misogynist threads day and night.

Imagine the lie that not one kobo ("a single dough" ) came from the girl's family. You people need to work on your male short-circuiting touch points you use when you want to draw ire from male readers as you come up with these tales.

How much does a slot go for?

The op is even a redpill junkie. Red pill online.

I can't just jump into marriage when I'm not yet able to cater for a family yet so I told her to keep the child with her mother till I can be able to stand on my feet and foster for us all,me and my gf still lived together without the baby

Does this even make any sense to you?

No one can debar you from reaching your child, court is there to assure that.

MufasaLion:
A quality condom could have prevented this. Well, I wish you well.

Haha but they say without condom is more...

Witlee1:


How can't you take your time and read? I'm surprised people like you passed out of school successfully that's if you went to school.
Where did I write I'm insisting on the baby?

You are just daft
Enjoy the mention you won't get it again

Haha

Find a way to see your girlfriend's mother and sort things out, with all sincerity. No mother would want her daughter to end up being a single mother. She, obvious, want to use your baby as a bargain for you to marry her daughter. Any mother would do that...

NOTE: Never ever blank your baby if you don't want to live with regret. A bitter Woman has a way of poisoning children's mind to get back at their fathers. She will heap every blame on you and turn you to a monster in the presence of the child. You, obviously don't want that...

If none of them agree amicably, then you have to fight for daughter's custody. That is if you truly provide support and you have evidences that you can tender.

If not, when the girl grows up they will tell the girl that you abandon her. She will feel so bitter about you and will hardly forgive you. Boys, could be different, they can overlook some stuff or even decide to go look for their fathers...Girls are, probably, not like that...it takes courage for them to do such...that's if they have the fear of God, understanding and the patience to hear from the other side.

One of my inlaws is having a similar challenge. The mother was even the one that took the daughter and ran away from home. The father being a principled man, thought that was her business, that when the time come he will go look for her daughter. unfortunately and fortunately he travelled, years runs into years, now he is making effort to connect with the child but the child is all grown up now and doesn't want to see him, talkless of talking to her dad. Her reason? - her dad abandoned her for so long. She believed if her father did love her, he should have fought for her custody or access to her. This is an on going issue. The father was never happy when he heard that statement and there was no way he could have defended it. He loves his daughter so much till this moment.

So young man. Go sort this issue amicably or fight for the custody of your daughter if you don't want to live with regrets in the near future. That's your first fruit. The one that comes from the womb of the morning.

GO AND FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO HAVE ACCESS TO HER, ATLEAST. NEVER CHICKEN OUT. THAT'S WHY YOU ARE A MAN.

You are a very wicked person. I support what the mother of your girl friend is doing to you. You imprenanted someone daughter and she put to bed at the same time, you don't want to marry her, but you will be sleeping with her. If a boy does this to your sister, will you be happy? The solution is that carry your people to the girl's family and regularise the marriage. The economy is hard but you, but you could not tie your manhood to your lap. A very wicked person!

Witlee1:


How can't you take your time and read? I'm surprised people like you passed out of school successfully that's if you went to school.
Where did I write I'm insisting on the baby?

You are just daft
Enjoy the mention you won't get it again

My friend will you be quiet!!

Reading your reactions to people’s comments here simply explains you’re the problem. So rude, feeling entitled. And yet wonder why the girl and hers are avoiding you.
You knew you weren’t ready for marriage, why were you having sex - unprotected, to say the least - and living the life of a married man?!
Look at this clown!!!

Since it’s clear you’re not interested in the girl, the baby is still yours no matter what, go talk to a legal person, for custody.

Witlee1:
My gf got pregnant, I'm not an advocate of abortion so I told her to keep it so I and my live-in gf had a child (girl) outside wedlock who is 2 years old now and I took care of her and the child for 1 year and 8 months,paid the hospital bills and everything, which a single dough of the girls family didn't come to the wellbeing of the child, it was All me which the mother of the girl is aware of.

Though I dont want to marry the girl now due to the harsh economy of Nigeria but I have plans to marry her later on plus I can't just jump into marriage when I'm not yet able to cater for a family yet so I told her to keep the child with her mother till I can be able to stand on my feet and foster for us all,me and my gf still lived together without the baby and I helped her pay some fees for her school cuz I understood that for my baby to be educated the mother needs to be .

Fast forward to now, the mother of my gf doesn't want me to see my child because I don't want to marry my gf now, my gf and her mother had to even report me to human rights for me never to contact my gf any longer cuz I am threatening her which I never did... I tried contacting my gf to know what is happening, she's not picking her calls neither is the mother too and when I texted my gf she rained insults on me lol (life's so unfair)

NB: I learnt from a reliable source that the mother of my gf is the one Influencing her this way,my gf is also in her 3rd year at school
I'm so confused, please advice me on next step to take

In summary, you want the girls family to take care of your child, you also want to tie your baby mama down but not officially then be free to change your mind about marriage anytime you wish.

You mother baby mama's mother is just doing what is best for both her child and her grandchild. You just need to imagine yourself in their shoes.

That your baby mama lives with you already means you can as well step up to a trad engagement and get them off your back. They are just trying to get a commitment from you.

You either commit and take responsibility or free the baby mama which also means you will have to deal with issues about your child's welfare.

Don't get hypertension because they plan to run away with the child, they would be begging you to have relationship with her latter when the child constantly asking for her father.

Get more children from other woman or women.

IbadeHQ:


How are u sure you are the father of the baby, only the mother knows. Most child is this kind of relationship are questionable. My thought though. Enjoy ur day.

Op take this advise . I was once in your shoes . denied access to my child. One day cassala burst n d girl said m not the father. That was 2 years ago. I healed n moved on. The guy she took the child to rejected d child n she turned back to me. I just told her to get a DNA with her money before n thing. They went to the police police told them same. Child is a bast*rd now.

Witlee1:


How can't you take your time and read? I'm surprised people like you passed out of school successfully that's if you went to school.
Where did I write I'm insisting on the baby?

You are just daft
Enjoy the mention you won't get it again

u brought ur problem to nairaland hoping to get solutionz, people are offering u what u want and u in turn start throwing tirades at them. Do u think our reasoning and that of the whites are d same? I prefer solving my problems alone than exposing it to otherz to be laughed at. Enjoy the negative responses nairaland wil offer u.

frozen70:


If you really want to marry her, reconcile with her and introduce her to your family

If you know that you don't have plans for marriage, just keep calm and follow them the way they are

It will sort itself out

It will sort things out my ass

Hassanmaye:

Haha but they say without condom is more...

Enjoyable? Yes, but it ain't worth the risk with a random girl.

FlipModeSquade:
Life's so unfair?

To you or to your girlfriend and her mother?

You didn't want to marry her and yet you insisted on the baby?

And You wonder why her mother is against you?

You want to eat your cake and have it?

Ogbeni..

Carry your load..

Are u sure u read d story? If u did, did u understand it at all?