₦airaland Forum

Ebubechuwku:
All I see here is desperation to get married and if things keep going like this, your decision will hunt you in future...

You are ready financially,mentally and physically, but your partner is not ready, he is not responsible, he still want his freedom.

Another one, don't use money as a criteria for love, unless you just wanna waste ur money. If you like send him all your savings, send him all your parents property document, and you are thinking that he will love you the more, it wil shock you na household he go impregnate las las.

You are 26, don't be in a hurry, look before you leap, there is lot to marriage, than love, so that you won't later rush out of it....


#ire o

Before Any one gets into any relationship you should have an aim for the relationship not just you but your partner you might be ready for marriage but your partner might not dont date any person and just assume it would go straight to marriage.the man at this stage should be planning his life. You may not need money for love but you surely need it to run a family. Take it easy on him and try to understand him. Lastly dont rush into marriage

That man is married and his wife lives abroad.

My question is that, what did u guys did in the 25k per night hotel?

ngoziwrites:
If that makes you sleep better at nightm

Truth hurts abi?

Roseey0:
Unfortunately she has asked all the questions ( intuitively) and knows all the answer.
She's just not happy that they are both on different journeys. She enjoys his friendship but wants more , unfortunately, oga is not ready

So on this journey to marriage street, she is walking alone. Oga is on a mission, chop and clean mouth

Acidosis:
That man is married and his wife lives abroad.

Be kiaful. Stop divulging our cats in the numerous bags

Yadid:
Red flags are all over the place, but it looks like you are so into him you are willing to overlook them. You need to take things slow here

It is a FAKE STORY.

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

I can see despiration, I can see confusion and fear in you and the guy is holding a red flag upandown.
Tread carefully, some guys are baaaaaad.

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

1. You are doing financially ok. Which is one of the things guys that are success driven are looking for.
2. I feel u are getting ahead of yourself (too hasty). You don't know him. You don't know his hurts and wins. From the look of things u don't really wants to know. All you know is that he is financially ok. Thus every other thing is fine (on average, 9 out of every 10 lady says good things about guys that are financially ok. But if he is broke, story go change.

3. Heart-to-heart discussion should come after 3 months. U never know person house, hin never know your own, u dey suggest marriage. If na me I go block u everywhere.

4. Make him enjoy your company.
5. When y'all are comfortable with one another, ask him what his thoughts are concerning getting married. Don't be scared to ask that question. A 26-year old is an adult. Let him know when u planned to get married. Ask if he finds u compatible enough for y'all to be spouse. Discuss from the viewpoint of equals.

FINALLY, If I were this guy, I would be thinking you are getting interested because of my financial prospect. Even now, I feel the same. No matter how rich a female is, there is an atom of gold digging somewhere. And you are displaying some of those traits. Ignoring and making excuses for him- anything to "catch this fish".

ngoziwrites:
Yes. I don't sound desperate. I have never even mentioned any of these things. Anytime he says things like marriage is hard work or probably any topic related to marriage, I don't say anything at all.

I just think I should ask now, so we are sure we are looking in the same direction.

Usually, people start relationships by asking a lot of questions. But we didn't start that way. I thought we would even ask basic questions when we see. But we didn't.

He hasn't asked about my goals, my plans etc. I want to ask too but he is the one with more power in the relationship. It's his call. So, I can't ask him.

. The guy doesn't see you as someone he will live with, I may be wrong. You don't have what it takes to communicate with him. He is only with you because he is fond of you. If only you can be a lady and demand to know what he wants with you. Have an escape plan maybe soon you will come to terms with reality.

Omicron999:
Be kiaful. Stop divulging our cats in the numerous bags

LMAO Not bad to help a Nairalander na.

Quite funny how some women reason sha. Which man will choose to take a supposed wife material to an hotel in the same town/city he lives and own an apartment??

In her defence, she wrote that the man is "principled" A principled man laughing at other men that are getting married while he keeps knacking wife materials in the choicest hotels at 32??

Acidosis:
LMAO Not bad to help a Nairalander na.

Quite funny how some women reason sha. Which man on earth will choose to take a supposed wife material to an hotel in the same town/city he lives and own an apartment??

In her defence, she wrote that the man is "principled" A principled man laughing at other men that are getting married while he keeps knacking wife materials in the choicest hotels at 32??

Just tell them what they love to hear

Just like a rat, blowing cold breeze under your foot, whilst bitting chunks of skin away in the process

You no go calm down. Just two months in. Na wa. Don’t be desperate to get married. That’s just the Nigerian dream. To get married because family members and people around you are just pressuring you and in Nigeria if you are not married people won’t value you. It’s sad. My dear calm down before you become single again. Build your relationship

stuffs4me:
Truth hurts abi?

Yes. Truth hurts. But yours doesn't. It's a far cry from the truth. So, I can't relate.

If you had said something close to the truth, it would have.

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

That guy won't marry you if he sees you're desperate, guys don't like/value ladies that push themselves on them.

If you like the guy first value yourself, be in control of yourself and your desires, be composed, have a disposture that seems you can be fine without him, don't be eager for anything from him even though you show appreciation, offer values in your relationship (not just good sex, look or food), let him be the one that's sees reasons you should be his choice for marriage.

ngoziwrites:
He doesn't talk about these things. I would love to know his plans, goals etc but we don't talk about it.

Sometimes I say do u know we haven't had some deep discussion. He says these things aren't planned

2 months, you don open leg.

Is this not a FICTION ?

Abi you dey wine us.

All women reason alike, "It was a N25k hotel room, He drives 2 cars, He is a landlord, His father sells trucks". All these things you wrote there is small. If a young man is still CONFUSED in LIFE, he won't still marry you with all that you stated.

Any poor Nigerian man is in trouble.

Nne, no wahala, come and marry me

Ok. Is marriage an achievement?

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

You see the problem. You need to ask yourself when you want to marry and not him. You are even thinking of marrying a guy you are not free to out your mind with, all because of what you hope to benefit. Just calm down o

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

You're wasting your time with this dude. He's just there to have fun and leave. It may hurt but better now than later. Move on.

Slow and steady wins the race.

ngoziwrites:
Yes. I don't sound desperate. I have never even mentioned any of these things. Anytime he says things like marriage is hardwork or probably any topic related to marriage, I don't say anything at all.

I just think I should ask now, so we are sure we are looking in the same direction.

Usually, people start relationships with asking a lot of questions. But we didn't start that way. I thought we would even ask basic questions when we see. But we didn't.

He hasn't asked my goals, my plans etc. I want to ask to but he is the one with more power in the relationship. It's his call. So, I can't ask him.

Fact 1: Dude is married.

Fact 2: Dude gas a serious banny and is using ngoziwrites to catch cruise.

You have lost your bargaining chip....he has been to the promise land. You are too desperate. Some dude can smell that miles away and milk you

.....

I understand your point but dont rush it okay,dont make him think you are desperate.Things will fall in good shape soon,cos i can see the love you have for him.

.

omolasho:
You see the problem. You need to ask yourself when you want to marry and not him. You are even thinking of marrying a guy you are not free to out your mind with, all because of what you hope to benefit. Just calm down o

What will I possibly benefit? Am I supposed to go into marriage because I want to milk my husband dry? Or I want to have several real estates from his Money? Where is the sense?

Benefit what, exactly?

Unfortunately, several guys here have been with leeches and it has rid you all of ideal thinking.

If I was the guy ,I will run away ,any woman that I meet that put marriage as a first criteria,I flee from immediately.Anything done under rush doesn't last . Some women are so desperate that they are ready to pay for bride price .

U r very right...is either d guy is married or in a serious relationship

gift0123:
Babe red light dey, dey shine brightly but love don cover your eyes and u know dey see am...

That guy is playing with you and he is in a serious relationship or married, be wise and pay attention... Infact leave that guy as fast as possible, I hate such rubbish.

At this age don't rush into relationship, devil will be busy bringing useless men into your life because she sees you are ready to marry, know dey love anyhow, know dey open leg like that.. get down on your knees and ask God to filter the men that approach you then bring the right person your way, when the right person is coming be asking God for signs that shows he is the right person... You are just at a critical age of your life, if you make mistake now, u know fit reverse am againoo.

Virus20:
If I was the guy ,I will run away ,any woman that I meet that put marriage as a first criteria,I flee from immediately.Anything done under rush doesn't last . Some women are so desperate that they are ready to pay for bride price .

I didn't in any where write that I am putting marriage first.

I only said I would love to be in a relationship with someone who is considering marriage. Not someone who is not considering it at all.

Very simple, if he doesn't proposed to you, i will advise you go ahead and proposed to him.

One thing that wnt allow a man to propose as quick as possible is when premarital sex is involved. Simple!
Simply avoid premarital sex.

As a guy, I will never understand why I would spend 25k a night in a hotel when I have an apartment that is probably better.

Guy claims his house is hot but u guys spent 75k in 3 nights.

I earn over 2.5mil a month and I wouldn't pay 25k for a hotel if I don't need to.

@OP that guy will never marry you. Mark my words. If a guy sees a girl he wants to marry, he will be the one making plans to keep her. It is like finding gold. You ain't that guy's gold. Just another pucci to fvcck.