I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! - Family (8)

I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! - Family (8) - Nairaland

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Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by rayval(m): 10:51am On Dec 08, 2021

In all honesty.. please use this your mothers visitation as an opportunity to divorce… it is a chance bro… forgive me if this is not an option..

And you sound so weak a person.. to allow someone call ur mom a witch.. to give rules about the kitchen. It is irritating

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by Britishpea: 10:51am On Dec 08, 2021*

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

Men in marriage are not meant to be one-way. They are meant to be dicey not too soft but not too tough when not necessary. Men are meant to be unpredictable with no conspicuous weak points. U must be ready to change or act wild unpreparedness even in the face joyous moment that led to bruising of your ego by a woman.

See, women need true love but only a tough man knows the game of women. Show them love but remain overtly mature. Don’t lie to them and don’t tell them the truth. But be sure, that at the end of it, it finally favors your family(wife n kids). Don’t do things for immediate appreciation from women. Their appreciations don’t last if the game changes....NOTE: few women are exceptional.
Have you heard that only crazy people can husband women?
Women look for your weak points immediately they enter your life. That’s their first target. Second target for them after conquering the first is; to claim territory. She has conquered the first in your case, now second phase is activated- why your mom is libeled and she can’t enter the kitchen.
Change from your old person and wear a new character man! You are too gentle! You are weak. You are like my friend . Whom wife(my sister will never pick his call after a quarrel but he will be the one to keep calling even if the wife is the one at fault). Married men who live longer are the ones who know how to show love and care but remain very tough( at alert with situations) while discharging their responsibilities. Women are colonies. They are good but don’t care until u reset their factory settings.
Man be tough and show a wild side o you. But be smart and careful. FYI, I am married for years happily but I reset her brain the first two months in our marriage. Now we ar fond of each other.

Take note of this! I think I read that you said your marriage is just 3 years. The marriage is young man. It is the stage that most marriage experience what you are experiencing right now. But it must have started after two months into the marriage u only endured it this long because you are a gentle folk. See, it is not a matter of divorce yet, it is a matter of resetting the pace and give a defined meaning to your home. Who pays the piper dictates the tune! She is planting what you can’t weed later if you allow it to germinate. Use the wisdom of a man that God has given you to handle her first before you think of other solutions if the former won’t work. You also sound too religious. Nothing stops you and your wife visiting a circular psychologist with degrees. Remember the clime you are. Either a religious psychologist or a degree one, both in that environment will try to hit what they have to. If the whatever psychologist rules are not good for you G, don’t honor the next appointment. Seek peace first before other methodologies.

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Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by ugotaya: 10:51am On Dec 08, 2021

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

Oga, This your marriage need reconstruction just like Nigeria. AH BA Why in the world would a women call your mama a witch? i mean some children whose mothers are the real witches don't drag their mums on the floor like this... Stand on your two feets as a man now and demand for total change. She seems to have dominant attitude and you have to curb it now or else you go wear pant and bra oo

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by NOETHNICITY(m): 10:53am On Dec 08, 2021

Toks2008:
Please what exactly is the problem here cos I honestly can't find one.

Bro Marriage is all about tolerance and making compromises.

I think you are the problem here cis you are seeing issues where there is none.

Relax, love more, complain less and be tolerant. Laslas your marriage go dey alright.

For godsake she already declared his mum a watch and trying to prevent her visit. That alone is already a huge problem in my eyes

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by updatedws: 10:53am On Dec 08, 2021

this woman would make u die before ur time.
the marriage is still young, it is obvious u people didn't court together for long.
here is my advice - make up with her and do all her bidding.

convince her the family needs to visit Nigeria. when u guys do, find a way to leave her take ur child away (japa).

ur sanity is sacrosanct. and I assure u, things would never get better as far as she believes a pastor that sees vision.

l' m speaking from experience, my mother has similar trait.

1 Like

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by kaymart: 10:53am On Dec 08, 2021

Datboredberry:
You sure? I think women can... They find it easier to be celibate...

Not true ...
From observation, most can't stay for more than 4months

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by danot1030: 10:55am On Dec 08, 2021

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

Oga marriage no be by force, divorce her and regain your happiness.

1 Like

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by daddytime(m): 10:57am On Dec 08, 2021

Alphamentips:
My advice will be short and straight to the point bro.

If possible, find a reason to travel back to Nigeria with her... It has to be a genuine reason so she can agree to travel with you. When you get home divorce her ass.

The only way to keep a married woman completely loyal is to let her know you can walk away anytime she begins to get over her head. My babe de deny me sex gives me attitude because I accommodate her when she was having house issues .. she tells me she can't give it up for me as much as I want it because we ain't married....

... we had a verbal fight. She said I was wicked and would leave my place by weekend. I told her "NO" and let her know she will leave my house the next day because weekend is too far off.

From that moment I sent her packing and gave her 20k for tfare when she was packing her attitude did a 180 degree change. She realized I had options and her ass was replaceable.

And if she don't fall for the travel plan, divorce her ass and pay child support. Let her have the crib to herself but bounce. It may be her plan (who knows) but then the ability to walk out on a woman is the Ultimate power you have over her in marriage.

Girls just love what they can't have. The moment they have you (in marriage or relationship) they have nothing else to work towards. Because you've given them the most important validation they need... But if she knows u have even hotter options she will begin to seek your validation again and pursue you like u were dating

You be "sabinus" aswear.

I couldn't help but like and quote this.....

We meuveeee.....no time to check time at all.

All in all, whatever we come upon or happens to us are most of the time predestined to achieve a set aim and for a reason. Be it good or bad.

That's my outlook to life.

1 Like

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by Galaxydon1(m): 11:00am On Dec 08, 2021

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

marry another person.

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by Nicoswit(m): 11:02am On Dec 08, 2021

Datboredberry:
50pseamer...

The fault lies with her...I don't know what the men above are commenting on though... A man helping out in HIS home makes him weak or less African?

Primitive human beings...

Op... Your wife is a religious fanatic... Her claiming that your mom is a witch...the woman who gave birth to you, raised you up, and made you into the man she married... That's a no go area...

I can't tolerate that sh**...

She's being difficult delibrately... Manipulating you into severing your relationship with your mother whom she doesn't like...

Send her away!!! For a couple months... I don't know how you remain with someone who had the confidence to insult your own mom...

Better let her know who you're loyal to... Stop allowing her to play with your mind...

If you keep trying to please her, she wins...

I know a man... He brought his mom from her home to live with him... He traveled and his wife started to harass the poor old woman... When he got back, he sent his wife and his kids to the village... Less than a year, she learnt respect and humility...(not really but the suffering got to her)...

Be tough...

God bless you!

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by Kenontop: 11:03am On Dec 08, 2021

Pray and both of you should see a marriage counsellor

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by Nobody: 11:03am On Dec 08, 2021*

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by Itzurboi(m): 11:08am On Dec 08, 2021

@50pseamer, try and bring her back to Nigeria but before you do that, stop reacting to everything, be good to her, let her be the husband all in a bid to bring her back here, but if God help her, and she mistakenly followed you.... Make sure you seize her passport without her knowledge, block every avenue to make her go back, then discharge back secretly..
You must do all these convincingly if not you will never have the chance to execute such again.
It's annoying to hear that your mother who took you in, gave birth, raised you, did her part to see you educated, didn't kill you before travel date, still allowed you get a job to sustain yourself is suddenly a witch, divorce is inevitable here sooner or later, so it's better you plan sooner and have a sane life..
Person wey no get wife, pikin dey live, you ��me

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by Nobody: 11:10am On Dec 08, 2021

Go andNd marry! Go and marry! Now you don put witch for house...carry your cross o

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by Xscape1993(m): 11:10am On Dec 08, 2021

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

Some women don't know what they have until they lose it. Just stay calm and cool for a while and see her next actions.

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by pocohantas(f): 11:11am On Dec 08, 2021

Klass99:
Lol , unbelievable! Richy is this really you? I actually like this approach.

No need to give her money for a new passport, after burning the first one.............until a certain amount of time (like 6 months) elapses and most importantly, she shows genuine remorse and interest in fixing things.

But, what about the child? Should he take him back with him or let the boy stay with the mother?

Is passport not 18k again? A grown woman can’t afford that?

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by Nicoswit(m): 11:17am On Dec 08, 2021

50pseamer:
Thanks so much for your mature advice, she does not really believe in the leadership of a man,at least from what I see. There was a time I asked her not to take my child to school and she told me she will take him to school , and she did ignoring my request, I have asked her if she wants to go, so that we can separate amicably, she should not worry about her documents, I will still help since she has a child for me. I am not sure if I ask her to stop going to her church that she will comply, but I will tell her my decision, being that we live in a white man's country, I have tried to be a bit soft. She is not telling me she wants to go, I am thinking she wants me to pull the divorce trigger, that's why she is not saying anything, if I ask her if she loves me, the answer comes with alot of delay too. It's unfortunate, I guess I made a big mistake

Eeyah, sorry man. Marrying Nigerian ladies abroad geh as e be ooo

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by Enaic: 11:18am On Dec 08, 2021

[color=#000099][/color] You're a Nigerian man, and she knows what she's doing. Attempting to serve her a fake or original divorce papers is a double loss for you.

You know western laws empowers women and some take advantage of that to misbehave.

You will lose the right to your child and be spending money on a woman another man will be frolicking with.

So perish the idea of divorce.

Pretend all is fine, and suggest you both should visit Nigeria.

On arriving Nigeria take her straight to her family and tell her parent all her misdemeanors, including profiling your mum a witch.

Tell her she is staying back in Nigeria until she gets back her senses, leave her with your son and be sending allowances for your child's upkeep and education. If she eventually gets back to her senses, you take her back but if she still exhibit those tendencies, she might start seeing other men, then you will have a legal reason for divorce and no Nigerian law will compel you or take your asset and give to her by way of settlement.

May God give you wisdom and divine discernment.

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by BlissGod: 11:19am On Dec 08, 2021

50pseamer:
I am not saying I am a saint, infact when there are issues , I apologize more easily than my wife. I feel very strongly for my child, I do not want him to suffer, she complained earlier that I was not helping with the baby and I started helping more, after a while, she said we need to go to a counsellor, I have agreed and also searched for a Christian one, but she prefers the one with a degree in psychology,
Sometimes when she offends me I can be blunt, and I might says some words, but not extreme words the words are only an interpretation of the attitude I see.
She knows it all, and does not easily take correction, even when I try to play with her she easily takes offence. Mind you all these never happened while we were dating, I noticed a bit of stubbornness and I tried to correct her , and told her that is one of the attribute I hate the most.
I am at point that I am not sure she loves me , and I don't even know if everything happening in my home is normal.

Op when you're serious about your marriage, youlñ visit a counselor not all these shenanigans her on nairaland with sheepdog advise.

It's best you respect yourself and man up. I don't mean get physical and for all the fools suggesting divorce they can't even break up with thier gf.

Something is missing, there's something that attracted her to you and that you have stopped doing, i blame the economy, it's stressful.

You're an over religious man and so is your wife an over religious pretender.

Go back to basis and visit a marriage counselor not all these fake pastors or elders.
There must be someone your wife honors, talk to the person and let that person talk sense into her.

And for the issue of your mum being a witch, your wife knows it's not true and it's only lack and poverty that makes people brand another a witch, I've never seen a big man or woman being called a witch rather they're called wicked.

Recieve sense and treat your family fuckup.

You're the man, be the man. don't ever stop eating her food, infact eat more and laugh more.

Take her on random dates more.

She's tired of the monotonous activity in her life and as immature as she is, she doesn't even know what's her problem.

Of she watches zee world please ban that rubbish in your house.

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by Oddfinder: 11:22am On Dec 08, 2021

50pseamer:
I am actually not that weak because of sex, I stayed without sex for almost nine years before I married her, I had more sexually attractive options before I choose her,I guess she was the most chatty with me then.

Exactly. She was the most chatty with you..she choose you. U didn't choose her..these girls are smart ,seeing that you're okay, fine boy and can provide immediately pitched tent with u because she wanted marriage..its was marriage she wanted not you..
Kings don't alow these females choose u..u should be the one choosing them..she doesn't value ur love,commitment and sacrifice in the marriage..she only value the perks and comfort u bring..it will be very difficult if you are in the states..if na me i wil send her and the kid to the village for 'vacation ' she go de vacation until her head reset

1 Like

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by Rexymania(m): 11:25am On Dec 08, 2021

Stupid marriage

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by naijaman2225(m): 11:26am On Dec 08, 2021

Ebubechuwku:
I understand how you feel, she is making you feel less of an African man.

Just be patient with her, put everything in prayer, don't be carried away, love ur child.

And be ready for plan B incase she dump You... Don't be carried away at all, anyhow it happens, always learn to move on...

Cos if you don't work on the marriage, things may go south and since you are abroad not naija, it may hurt you the more and make you sad on and on.

Pray to God and have plan B incase she said she is ready for divorce, cos it's already showing...

IT'S OBVIOUS SHE ALREADY HAS A PLAN B. MY ADVICE TO THE OP IS SIMPLE: FACE REALITY, YOUR MARRIAGE IS SINKING. START LAWYERING UP SO THAT WHEN IT COMES TO THE CRUNCH YOU ARE NOT AT A DISADVANTAGE TO THE JEZEBEL.

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by ExtremeDot: 11:27am On Dec 08, 2021

Op. I hope you see this.

You are a very weak man! Yes, I mean it!

A woman called your mother a witch and you still had the mental capacity to accommodate such devilish claim.

Good luck with your ~~wife~~ husband.

From the look of things, you are the thirsty wife in that marriage. Your wife yields too much power.

Women are manipulative by nature. In that regard, your wife is doing a good job manipulating your weak self.

This world is a cold place.

1 Like

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by lilyheaven: 11:27am On Dec 08, 2021

akinade28:
Do you know there is something called marital rape?, you want to get this man into big trouble. Even some states in Nigeria have some law against it not to talk of "abroad"

They should do well and bring a law against spouses that denies their partner sexual right.

When she was signing marriage certificate she didn’t know sex will be involved.

Op report her to her parents

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by abimic(m): 11:27am On Dec 08, 2021

Ebubechuwku:
the woman don sabi hin mumu bottom... as a man one needs to tame his emotions and Man up...

One cold orijin for you

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by Mydazz(m): 11:28am On Dec 08, 2021

These whole write up was deliberately skewed in the man's favour to set a good narrative of himself,........
What are the bad things your wife caught you with that brought about this change, or did you meet a woman with this kind of personality and decided to marry her, only to start crying out on a public forum.
A little bad on your part will shed a little light on this matter, not when you paint yourself to be a saint. Be truthful

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by jaxxy(m): 11:28am On Dec 08, 2021*

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

Most marriages fail because of communication problems. Ure talking to her bt not communicating with her.

Effective Communication is a skill many people don’t know and don’t understand how to go about it. It can solve 80% of marital issues.

Now to the crux of the matter. It is quite shocking u are struggling with the basic of dating or courtship in a 3year marriage. Did u perhaps marry Sm1 u don’t know? Or rather know well enough??

U want more sex and yet don’t know how to get it? Ur wife asked u to help her out then turns u to the slave or house boy bt that’s not a problem if u don’t mind doing house chores bt the problem is her not appreciating it when it was her who asked for such help only to leave u high and dry. U need to explain ur position of things clearly and convincingly without being too domineering or argumentative bt very assertive.

I think she see u as weak and and unsure bt that because Ure not communicating right with her.

Note different personalities have their communication language and also love language bt there are common or general rules or approaches. Try to understand this and work on ur relationship/marriage.

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by kaymart: 11:32am On Dec 08, 2021

AfroKnight:

Na wa. This is why I avoid ladies that visit prophets.

How would my wife have the guts to tell me my own mother is a witch? So she means a witch raised the man she fell in love with? Then she too must be a small witch.

50pseamer Your wife is one of those gullible women whose pastors have made millions of naira from.

You need to defend your mother more and more. Don’t let one wife disrespect her like that. Also thread carefully as you are abroad. If your local laws favour women, then she can send you to prison with a few well placed lies and some basic manipulative actions.

Think 4 steps ahead.

Me, I won’t live with any woman who believes my mother is a witch and even has the guts to say it to my face.

I won’t talk on the fact that she is withholding sex to punish you.

It appears you have successfully married your enemy.

Obviously, he married his enemy

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by cedricksly: 11:33am On Dec 08, 2021

NOETHNICITY:
Bro, Nigerian women her evil in nature. If he just ignores her and let her have her way, she will make his life a living hell. He has to be ahead of her in planning.

very true, but you only empower her wen u give audience to her quarrels since its obvious she likes it... If na me wenever she wan start quarel I will just ignore her, stop answering her and walk away from her sight... Na that one pain pass...

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by Richy4(m): 11:35am On Dec 08, 2021

Klass99:
Lol , unbelievable! Richy is this really you? I actually like this approach.

No need to give her money for a new passport, after burning the first one.............until a certain amount of time (like 6 months) elapses and most importantly, she shows genuine remorse and interest in fixing things.

But, what about the child? Should he take him back with him or let the boy stay with the mother?

Na meoo dear sister cheesy

...The thing is just really annoying especially the witch part...Wetin this Church people and their vision dey cause for marriage hmm!!!!

The OP is a gentleman like me and I liked him already without knowing who he is... but Immediately she opened her mouth to call my mother a witch, that's just where the default settings of gentleman act will be destroyed....

If she knew my mother was a witch...That means I came from descendants of witches as well...Because my mother cannot be a witch and give birth to an angel? grin

As for the kid, that's the cross I have to bear trying to fixing my marriage...I will let the child be with her...I will do everything humanly possible to provide for the kid,(that's if she cant let me have the kid)..I know that if she doesn't want to marry again, someday, my kid will start looking for me and I will be 178% ready to have the kid back

Re: I Think My Marriage Is In Trouble Please Help! by olamoses75(m): 11:38am On Dec 08, 2021

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

I wish I could just visit you, give you a deafening slap, a heavy knock on that your coconut head, and leave without saying a word. Mtchewww.

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