₦airaland Forum

BlissGod:
Op when you're serious about your marriage, youlñ visit a counselor not all these shenanigans her on nairaland with sheepdog advise.

It's best you respect yourself and man up. I don't mean get physical and for all the fools suggesting divorce they can't even break up with thier gf.

Something is missing, there's something that attracted her to you and that you have stopped doing, i blame the economy, it's stressful.

You're an over religious man and so is your wife an over religious pretender.

Go back to basis and visit a marriage counselor not all these fake pastors or elders.
There must be someone your wife honors, talk to the person and let that person talk sense into her.

And for the issue of your mum being a witch, your wife knows it's not true and it's only lack and poverty that makes people brand another a witch, I've never seen a big man or woman being called a witch rather they're called wicked.

Recieve sense and treat your family fuckup.

You're the man, be the man. don't ever stop eating her food, infact eat more and laugh more.

Take her on random dates more.

She's tired of the monotonous activity in her life and as immature as she is, she doesn't even know what's her problem.

Of she watches zee world please ban that rubbish in your house.

Zee gini?
You know what their problem is......,, religion
But do pastors see visions too inside online service?
I’m just curious

go and print fake divorce paper drop it for her to see give her two days to make up her mind on the way forward and watch the drama, remember when you give her that fake divorce do not sleep in the house make arrangement with ur friend or hotel to sleep over that night, ignore her food do not give her attention and watch the drama display she will come back on her sense. Righteousness50 over to you

Did you pray b4 getting married to her, cus to me GOD can not give you a woman that will kill you.

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

If really all you said is exactly the way it's happening, she is not getting it right

She is not even doing anything to protect her marriage

Let your mum come, don't tell her anything about your wife, let her see things herself, women reads and understands fellow women better and faster

So that the day your family will decide her case, no one will bail her

Just prepare your mind, it's either its working out or not

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

Continue being a simpleton. Continue playing houseboy for something you refer to as wife. Thats right, wash plates, sweep, cook, clean toilets, wash her pants. Really? Is this a serious story. I have no pity for simps but today I'll restrain contempt and give candid advise: I would have advised you to throw the useless bitch out of your house were it not for the fact that you mentioned residence "abroad", which I take to mean US,UK or any of those places where simps are receiving respect, so my advice to you is GET A DIVORCE!!! You've been married 3 years, which means you're young and can still live past the mistake that you brought into your house. Normally they'll try to guilt-trip you with narratives like "think about your son". Don't fall for that bullshit. If you should be thinking about what's best for your son then so should the bitch. Most important is for you to put yourself first. If you keep playing simp for some worthless bitch, you may end up not noticing the passing of 15~20 years or so, then you'll know the true meaning of "mid-life crisis" whence you gaze upon yourself from the front of a mirror and see nothing but an animate corpse.

STENON:
Make she no leave at the expiration of her visit visa !!! Best is for her Mum to taste the evil that her daughter is planning for another person. The man's mum would never enjoy her stay with such demonic wife.

The OP is too nice to inflict such wickedness on her mum or say such nasty stuff so it won't work..
It will just add to his frustration.

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

She'll definitely strip you of all you've worked for when filing for divorce. You trying to make things work but she ain't appreciating d effort. Tell her you need a break, perhaps that will reset her brain.

Yinkakolawole:
Did you pray b4 getting married to her, cus to me GOD can not give you a woman that will kill you.

He did not or she cunningly pretended to b the perfect one until married.

Marry another woman

.

That's the issue with some ladies that drives men crazy, when she saw you for the first time, I know then she was a saint, now she has totally changed, just keep praying for her, I won't advice you to leave her.

oga try and plead with her to come down to Nigeria in that process collect her passport and leave her here

I'll not like to call you a $imp but you sound too weak which is understandable that you're afraid of the system there which your wife is using to explore you. However, you can start discussing about starting something for her family back home example a house but you don't trust who to handle the project. That you'll like to come down to find a way and make the project work.
The game is to stylistly drag her down to Nigeria, divorce her here and go back alone. She's the witch. If you divorce her there, she'll own everything make she come here make Naija court use Ogun follow her.
I rest my case.

Just be patient with her, from your write up I can deduce that all those character she's exhibiting is from the vision that they told her your mother is a witch ,what has your mother done to her for her to even conclude she is a witch ,God will help you to stay strong in your marriage & for those of us looking up to God for this I pray we shall all find someone compatible with us.

Your wife calling your mother a witch and you are even here saying even if she's a witch" can you even hear yourself if nor be say my mind tell me say you go senior me, I for curse you but I still gat my respect intact bro.
Be a man nor give your wife leg to curse your mama oooh and be prayerful too God help you.

Kuriosmynd:
Simping in marriage will take u no where.
Those bullshit marriage councilors tell you, to do more, sweep more, fetch more water, cook more, clean more, watch plate more and all those bullshit will not a change a demonic wife. And if she's lost sexual attraction for you, to burst ur bubble, doing those houseboy work especially when u dont normally do it will only make her pvssy dry the more.

Most of u all never saw ur father do those bullshit, yet he commanded respect from your mother, but u want to become house boy to ur wife and think u will get her respect...shiior.

This is Africa..no matter the advancement, doing those bullshit will only bring premium tears and disrespect....except out of volition on rare occasion, not out of duty, or her expectations.

If she needs domestic helper, she should get a houseboy. simple. What does she do with her salary? She should pay for househelp paraventure a man doesnt have enough for that

.
Nonsense

You call doing domestic chores 'simping'. I wonder the kind of home you came from. Because of people like you I'm teaching my sons and daughters to ditch the idea of gender roles.

Igolonwaanyi:
You call doing domestic chores 'simping'. I wonder the kind of home you came from. Because of people like you I'm teaching my sons and daughters to ditch the idea of gender roles.

Your boy will learn the hard way....shebi u guys have no respect for men.

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

All the issues you listed above, church things, you paying the bills, her complaints e.t.c.. was it as such before wedding her

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

Your Story is NOT New...it Happens in almost every Marriage Now...
You have been manipulated to Carry the Entire Burden of the Family Like a SALVE. You do the Home Chores + Go to work to Finance the Family. ( With this kind of Role, How Can One Live Long)
Accepting these Roles has Made her see Your a Weak( without telling u)....so Quarrels will come out of : No Love for a Weak Man!

Once a Woman get Her Kids and Someone is paying to Raise them (She had Exceeded her Life GOAL!) , To Hell with Everyone Else....


For those guys thinking Sex become FREE FOREVER in marriage and Gotten any time u want it......IT's a BLATANT LIE.....it comes in Trickles (Once in 2 weeks...Then Once in 1 month ......Once in 6Months especially [i]after she has reached her life GOAL (Kids)). You go Starve tire!
[/i]

Verdict: You need to Apply Iron Hand or Live Apart...to forestall the Need for Each other again

My friend package that woman and return her to her ancestors or else she will complicate ur life like APC and PDP in Nigeria.
That gender get one understanding with serpent to complicate men life for good

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

Bro, your wife is feasting on your fears.

Your problem is that you do not have a rational thinking pattern. You slip over and just fall inline with her decisions..

She's practically your mother, how do I know this? From your writeup . You ain't a king anymore in your home.

Pull the game on her, Go Redpill man and speak-less, be decisive and don't fall for her emotional drama. Be firm!!!

Watch the game change in your favor.

50pseamer

I see that, you are a problem in your marriage

Why?

You are not behaving like a macho man.

1. Your gentle and tender nature may kill you before your time if you continue. I was more tender and gentle than you and I almost died.

2. You will suffer in this marriage if you refuse to man up. Your wife is seeing your strength as a weakness.

Women don't value or respect simple men.

# Stop being a house boy

Your wife is a difficult woman. She will have to re-arrange the kitchen in such a way that it will accommodate your mum and her without problems. Your wife is afraid upon hearing that your mom is a witch, it is affecting her already, it could be true or false. Before your mom's arrival, let your wife move the fridge or edible items she wishes away from the kitchen, while you stock up the kitchen with few items that your mom will find useful. Your wife MUST agree to this suggestion, because she can't stop your mom from entering the kitchen, as mom will have need of it.

Don't listen to people asking you to divorce, some of them will continue to marry/divorce like FFK (former minister) who refused to work on his first marriage, rather he jumped from one woman to another, married 6times, and is still in the news in his old age due to marital issues.

I do not know if your wife has fallen out of love, if you wronged her, or if she's manipulated, but I am sure that if you have been a good husband,she will surely wake up from her stupidityyy, because a good spouse is better than whatever wealth one can gather after divorce. Familiarity brings contempt, it isn't supposed to be so in marriage, but that is what is happening to you. so you have to start giving your wife the silent treatment regularly henceforth. Spend more time with friends, Eat alone or with your child, take your child out, stop asking for sex, the next time sex should happen, let her her be the one to come to you.

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

/

Your marriage is not in trouble.

Your marriage is over.

She is just hanging around for the comfort you provide. Most importantly, the more she hangs on, the longer her period of alimony will be. So it is like you are her pension plan. Only the ignorant ones who live in Nigeria will ask you to pray in this issue. Prayers do not write monthly cheques.

Get out now!

/

Oboy, where did you get your wife from?

Did you court before marrying?

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us?
Call my mother a witch and there will be no marriage to salvage again. Fake prophets destroying home since 1901.

kaymart:
Obviously, he married his enemy

Honestly I pity the guy. And the annoying thing is he is still joking about it.

That woman will destroy ur family.file for divorce if she can't take ur mother as her own mum.

Hmm ogaoo..!
That marriage na only pikin join una oo

Why is she angry at you

I thought in marriage it is said that the two shall become one.

Not eating together
Not going to church together
As a Christian home , not even praying together
Certainly not sleeping on the same bed means no kpekuses so why are we married then.

And saying mama will not enter kitchen when she comes means she never support mama coming but if it's her family she will I V them even without your notification and expect you not to talk.

Why is it that when some couples get married they became another thing as if they didn't court before getting married.

I always pity married Nigerians that are in abroad with their wives, she can kick you out of the house just like that and the law will be by their side but if you are having other houses there then you are good.

NB: I will tell her that we should be going for xmas in Nigeria when we arrives she will not go back with me , infact I will hide her passport let her remain in Nigeria, oga she can do anything to you out there and call the law, play the victims card then u are done.

But I pray you both settle what ever it is because home is always sweet when everything is going fine. Am just a guy who is scared of getting married due to stories that flies to my ears sometimes.

Sonnobax15:

When my elder bro wife venture call our Popsy wizard,na from that day my popsman disown my bro and immediately rejected my brother's wife as his daughter in-law....Even the pastor wey see the vision for her too,we almost go burn him church,but na my popsman just calm us down

Even if your mum na witch self, nothing suppose warrant your wife to call her a witch

As for una marriage, op,I must tell you the bitter truth bro,that una marriage go soon reach battery low,shut down

Hmmm I pray it shouldn't oo because since na abroad na em go suffer the thing , if na one house he will pack out of the house for her.

I do pity some Nigerians that are in abroad with their wives oo.

50pseamer:
I am not saying I am a saint, infact when there are issues , I apologize more easily than my wife. I feel very strongly for my child, I do not want him to suffer, she complained earlier that I was not helping with the baby and I started helping more, after a while, she said we need to go to a counsellor, I have agreed and also searched for a Christian one, but she prefers the one with a degree in psychology,
Sometimes when she offends me I can be blunt, and I might says some words, but not extreme words the words are only an interpretation of the attitude I see.
She knows it all, and does not easily take correction, even when I try to play with her she easily takes offence. Mind you all these never happened while we were dating, I noticed a bit of stubbornness and I tried to correct her , and told her that is one of the attribute I hate the most.
I am at point that I am not sure she loves me , and I don't even know if everything happening in my home is normal.

It's obvious she doesn't love you.I'm in my second marriage and I know the shit I went through in my first marriage and how I'm having it all rosy now.This is how tough marriage becomes for a man when the lady isn't exactly committed to it.I will advise you end it all rather than those continuous heart aches

Danjikanbauchi:
Walahi I swear to God, no woman can take the place of my mother.

Op if you can tell the bitch either she calm down or you send her out of your house and marry another woman.of it's her mother will she ask her not to enter the kitchen. What did she brought to your house ? She can pick them and Bleep off. I hate rubbish.

Bros, Unfortunately....They Are ABROAD. she CANT be sent Packing
if he leaves....he can be Sued for Abandonment....That place is Hell for a MAN.