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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed (30155 Views)
I Love My Wife & My Kid, But I Want To Leave The Marriage. Help! / My Sister-In-Law Staying With Us Atimes Knows When We Are Making Love.Pls Advise / Man Forced Into An Arranged Marriage At 24 Shares How He Ends The Marriage (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by jaxxy(m): 11:04am On Dec 18, 2021 |
Babsojimjim: Marriage is not by force and people’s mental health is important. Let her go back to her parents house. It’s that simple. From there u can work on any reconciliation or dissolution. Let her go where is is comfortable and at peace pls. Let him support her also. 2 Likes |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Amumaigwe: 11:07am On Dec 18, 2021 |
Pinkyposh: She needs to go and cool off in her campus accommodation and not her parent's house. You know how some of you ladies cool off in the campus environment. When your brother's wife demand such cooling off, please support her just like you have done here. |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by samdaisi: 11:07am On Dec 18, 2021 |
Unmarried friend wants to step in as a full house wife,because she is wiser than her friend and she is know the important of being a married woman comparing her with a mum pet with low wisdom. Unfriendly friend 1 Like |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Pataricatering(f): 11:09am On Dec 18, 2021 |
Babsojimjim:lol , scolded by him ?.male entitlement is amazing - see the casual.way you are saying "scolded" as if she is his child yet people like you will expect women to respect men but can't extend the same.respect.to women Come.cpean about your friends behaviour and what he must have done - it's quite obvious u are taking sides hence might be a bit dishonest in.your presentation of the issue 3 Likes |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Totino16: 11:09am On Dec 18, 2021 |
Let her go to avoid homicide case. |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by PARADIZEPRIEST: 11:11am On Dec 18, 2021 |
SUICIDE DEMONS HOVERING AROUND TO POSSESS SPIRITUALLY WEAK PPL. SUICIDE IS PURELY A SPIRITUAL PROBLEM. WHEN YOU ARE SPIRITUALLY DETACHED FROM GOD OF CREATION;YOU BECOME VULNERABLE SUICIDE DEMONS by gods of destruction. SUICIDE IS NOT A MENTAL PROBLEM THAT IS WHY MAD PPL DON'T COMMIT SUICIDE THEY STIL ENJOY PLEASURES OF SANE PPL E.G SEX,FOOD,SAFETY CONSCIOUS OF SELF WHILE CROSSING MAINROADS. Let her go to her people and let them take her for spiritual deliverance. 1 Like |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Nobody: 11:11am On Dec 18, 2021 |
Babsojimjim, The woman and the man are not supposed to be married. Their cycles of birth are in enemy zones, hence the inability to forgive the man on a subconscious level. The accumulated grudge and inability to forgive comes from the subconscious programming of the Human Design. Let the woman go and face herself. She will have sex out there in an attempt to get rid of the memory of the man and explore the world and that is always what they will do, not their fault. All semblance of spiritual attacks are just smokescreen for what is really happening which is spiritual awakening to her real nature, which is not friendly with the man's real nature. Know thyself. Both of them, should be apart for at least a year, any decision to continue the marriage will be based on conscious efforts to stick together, cos once the subconscious agent takes over, the triggers will happen again. They are a not a match. The friend that stays with them, is an agent and the energy was needed there to fuel the trigger. It was not a coincidence, the friend is there as energy system to break them apart. 1 Like |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by flokii: 11:11am On Dec 18, 2021 |
I'm very sure the unmarried friend is doing everything in her power to become the woman of the house while she keeps giving the stvpid wife bad advice to leave her husband.. na so women life be. |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Didi2d(m): 11:11am On Dec 18, 2021 |
JovialJune: If she won't forget and would probably use some of the mistake of the man against him in future, then why did she go ahead with the marriage? Just my thought/question 2 Likes |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Exceed15: 11:15am On Dec 18, 2021 |
A proof that a bird loves you is not when it is caged. Free the bird and see if it will come back. 1 Like |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Toktee(m): 11:16am On Dec 18, 2021 |
I hate it when people like you become economical with truth....something happened to you instead of been honest are personal you are hiding under a friend,ok what's ur friend name? Until you say the truth i have nothing to say. Babsojimjim: |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Lamasta(m): 11:17am On Dec 18, 2021 |
Babsojimjim OP I know you are the husband but just beating round the bush but never mind just give your wife t.fare to take a leave with the divorce paper she wants and move on with your life..... Go for DNA to ascertain if the daughter belong to you; if yes it belongs to you do well to take care of her.... Shalom 1 Like |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by walexbiz(m): 11:17am On Dec 18, 2021 |
Hello @Babsojimjim, When a bird decides to fly nothing can stop it until she flies, when she gets out there and realize that life is not so pleasant that's when she will regain her sense. Truth be told there may be someone out there who has been whispering good things into her ear and she is not ready to listen to poem your friend has to recite so it's better you let her fly else she will become a menace to his peace of mind. Your friend needs to grow up and stop addressing issues like a simpleton, if she want's to fly let her fly, the only thing she needs to reminded of is she doesn't have a home with him if she leaves and he should never stoop so low to be a custodian for badly used Nigerian product. |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Newboss(m): 11:18am On Dec 18, 2021 |
OP na storyteller. I pass |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by otokx(m): 11:18am On Dec 18, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: I beg to differ, especially in the Nigerian context the first point of call is the parents, then the church if unresolved. Family life/marriage in Nigeria is not what we see in TV and social media, it is hard work. If she wants to go, the earlier the better for every body. |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Satazaa: 11:18am On Dec 18, 2021 |
I personally went through a similar situation OP and here are my candid advise, never ever force a woman to love or be affectionate to you if she doesn't want to, beside you reference her friend being behind the scene in her behavior towards you so why don't you kick her out and report the issues to her parents, again SOME women can be callous and shallow brained and take this from me allow her her wish and stay cool for one year and I bet you she will come back begging and start blaming the imaginary devil for being responsible for her brainless decisions, if you are feeding, clothing and housing her she will immediately have a brain reset in this harsh economy in Nigeria 1 Like |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by ziondaughter247: 11:20am On Dec 18, 2021 |
Oluwatee1: This is very true.. What is the genesis of their problem? This story is incomplete. What does he mean by 'pains of the past'. One thing I can tell you is that once a woman has checked out emotionally and used her mouth to tell you that she wants out from a marriage, that means she really wants out, at least for the time being. Nigerian women are known to be especially tolerating in a marriage. If he offended the lady, please ask for her forgiveness sincerely. It is not about getting people to talk to her without admitting his own faults. Many Christians like to believe that they can do no wrong. Also, there's nothing God cannot do. It is obvious 'your friend' is a believer, take the matter to God in prayer. |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Rilwayne001: 11:20am On Dec 18, 2021 |
Two things are likely to be the cause; Either that the marriage isn’t working as a result of normal marriage issues. Maybe the man is impotent or lacking in financial strength to get hold the marriage or other reasons. Or that, the lady has found a better option and really just can’t wait to find an excuse to dump the man. Her parents response is an indication to the above reasons. It’s pretty obvious in their response. Marriage lately is war, and by all means man must be ready in all ramifications to go in. Otherwise, you’d lose before the journey even starts. Lol |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by pongwa(m): 11:22am On Dec 18, 2021 |
Babsojimjim:the husband should tell her to do as she wishes but make her understand his stance as her husband. If she leaves and stays too long, make the guy carry another babe enter house, it's a man's world not a SIMP |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Nobody: 11:27am On Dec 18, 2021 |
streetzdreamz:True talk. 1 Like |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Exceed15: 11:34am On Dec 18, 2021 |
Babsojimjim: When you struggle to marry a woman , you will also struggle to keep her. Obviously the man had always wanted the marriage but sadly the woman doesn't feel same . For the friends misleading her, they are d same that will mock her later. Your friend should be a man and tell her In d face to go if she want . |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Richy4(m): 11:35am On Dec 18, 2021 |
<<The courtship is Over... check << Asobi preparation and wedding funfair over... Check << What we are doing now is called MARRIAGE... check << She is chocking because the realisation has set in.. << She needed some space to regroup, rethink on what is just happening << Please tell the man to give her three months to decide if she wanna continue or she wanted out...a breathing space is required when she is doing the thinking and evaluations << Whichever, he should prepare his mind for the worse... There's nothing like passed pains.. what she is seeing is not what she expected in MARRIAGE |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by 234GT(m): 11:35am On Dec 18, 2021 |
The unmarried friend of the wife who came to stay with them is the cause of the wahala in the marriage. Once the wife leaves, she will become the madam of the house. Never allow anyone stay with you as couples. Marriage is husband wife and their children. No one else is allowed. |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Atticusxsz(m): 11:36am On Dec 18, 2021 |
It seems the parents are kinda lackadaisical about the situation on ground or probably, they're definitely enjoying the whole show, same with her unmarried friend who came visiting. Until dem tear gas your friend, that's when he'll do the needful abi? Where una dey get all these kinda friends from sef? You sponsored someone through school and finally married the person...yet, you're still restless in the said marriage. Shey she be MONALISA wey your friend no wan jakpa from eh? To a sane human, na rest of mind sure pass 4 this life except if your so called friend is a SIMPle Extraordinaire. His days are numbered 4 sure except he does the needful. It's known as Common sense 1 Like |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by bamid2: 11:37am On Dec 18, 2021 |
First and Foremost, there is a need for you to understand that you can not keep anybody who doesn’t want to be kept. I always advise new couples that once they get married, they should try as much as possible not to allow anybody ( family and friends) to live with them in the first year of their union to allow them bond well. Op, what you can do is very simple; No 1: Have a sit-down with her to understand the accumulated pain, bitterness, her fears and concerns. No 2: Ask her for ways resolve these issues amicably. No 3: From your explanations, you seem to love her more and seem to have invested so much in her progress. What you have not explained is what is making her suicidal, depressed from wanting to run away from you. Are you wicked with words said, do you emotionally abuse her, did you hurt her after her post- natal adjustments ? Etc. if yes, make a promise to turn a new leaf and follow up with action ASAP. No 4: You both should seek professional help from a bonafide marriage counselor who can help you panel-beat your relationship. If there is any underlying issues around her mental health, they should be able to detect this as well. No 5: Before you allow her to visit her parents , set up a meeting between both families-parents on her need for space. This is to allow for them to know that anything she does after the separation is her undoing. No 6: Above all, commit your relationship to a higher spiritual plane to do what mere mortals like us can’t and bring a lasting solution to your marriage. It is well with you. PS: In Nigeria, a major reason why marriages or relationship fail is because of groupthink or consensus of opinion by ladies especially. Once they table their guy’s fault in the comity of their friends, they cast their ‘votes’ and majority wins. That is why it is important to vet the kind of friends your husband or wife keeps during courtship because they are the original CEOs of their though process. If 80% of his/her friends are materialistic, cheaters or have failed marital relationship, sooner than later, you will also smell the coffee. |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by FarahAideed: 11:39am On Dec 18, 2021 |
Favfables1: Which little girl ? The simp should go and do DNA ..90 percent chance tha kid isn't his sef |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by FarahAideed: 11:41am On Dec 18, 2021 |
Satazaa: E be like you no fine oo |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by CaptainAyub: 11:45am On Dec 18, 2021 |
Yinkakolawole:Wise man |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by FarahAideed: 11:46am On Dec 18, 2021 |
Babsojimjim: This is clearly another school fees case ..Never pay any woman's school fees , once you do that she will start feeling induced and entrapped and then start hating U ...never never never pay any womans schools fees especially if her father is alive !!!!!!.....Bro time to let this woman go because she can never love U ... School fees ? God forbid |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by knowhowk: 11:46am On Dec 18, 2021 |
And you are delaying her ....Oga Na wa for You ooo.. Send her away Sharp sharp now ...It's either She Kills herself or She Kills U 2 Likes |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by olamoses75(m): 11:50am On Dec 18, 2021 |
It’s so surprising that you’re asking this question, when it’s glaring that separation is the only solution. Forget about those that asked you to pray. God doesn’t want us to be disturbing him on some issues, that’s why he gave us BRAIN! If I were your friend, the day my wife say it to my face that she would rather commit suicide than stay in the marriage is the day I will help her to pack her loads, put it inside the car and drive her to her parents. AYE YI ÓLE in Naira Marley’s voice. |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Richy4(m): 11:52am On Dec 18, 2021 |
Toktee: But what do you want to do with it if he tells you he was the one or chose to remain anonymous? He has the right to remain anonymous.. What u owe him is to advise him or totally ignore him... That is why it's a faceless forum.. everything/ anything goes |
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