Mariangeles:


If it matters that much to you, open up and tell your wife that she serves you first before her brother.
If it were a one time thing, it wouldn’t have mattered.
She should respect you in front of her brother because I doubt she’d like it if you constantly put your sister first before her.

Some feelings might seem irrational, but we can’t help but feel them.

Thank you

Olunmercy56:
I don't think there is sense in this question at all. Is she cheating him or what? Because of serving of food? Maturity matters most in a marriage

Yeah...
You're right...
The bolded clearly explains your comment ...

bigjackass:
Courtesy demands she serve the guest first whether her brother or not.

Nobody is dragging head of the house with you

he clearly doesn't know that

Seems you're too pompous, he's your guest for God's sake.

Favfables1:


The most sensible comment I've seen so far...

Personally if it's just a one time thing, I won't be bothered buh it happening consistently is something that'll make me raise eyebrows...

OP talk to your wife and tell her exactly how this makes you feel...
She may be doing it without meaning to upset or disrespect you...

I know this may seem like something "not worth talking about", buh if it hurts you enough for you to open a thread on nairaland, then it's better you communicate with her rather than allow it grow into resentment...

And please leave all those folks up there insulting you for whatever reason, if you do your investigations they're probably not married and thus won't know *exactly* how it feels...

Good luck Chief...

Dear sir, seeing as you and the guy whose post you quoted are the ones who are genuinely concerned or can think rationally; permit me to tell you a bit more.

I worked all through the night and was famished by the time the day broke this morning. I gave her some dough and told her to prepare me noodles and sardine, emphasizing on the fact that I was very hungry.

NOTE: Her Brother was still asleep at this time.

She prepared the meal, split it into two. Woke up and served her brother first in my guest room before coming to my room to give her hungry husband his food.

I was so mad, I ignored the food, went out to smoke a cigarette. While I was doing that it occured to me ask for advice here, because I didn't want to ask anybody I knew personally.

I still don't know whether to be mad, or to just ignore it. What she did this morning was wrong, and to those that feel otherwise, when you experience that and marriage, let us know how you feel?


I appreciate your comment sir!

SayAsSeen:



Dear sir, seeing as you and the guy whose post you quoted are the ones who are genuinely concerned or can think rationally; permit me to tell you a bit more.

I worked all through the night and was famished by the time the day broke this morning. I gave her some dough and told her to prepare me noodles and sardine, emphasizing on the fact that I was very hungry.

NOTE: Her Brother was still asleep at this time.

She prepared the meal, split it into two. Woke up and served her brother first in my guest room before coming to my room to give her hungry husband his food.

I was so mad, I ignored the food, went out to smoke a cigarette. While I was doing that it occured to me ask for advice here, because I didn't want to ask anybody I knew personally.

I still don't know whether to be mad, or to just ignore it. What she did this morning was wrong, and to those that feel otherwise, when you experience that and marriage, let us know how you feel?


I appreciate your comment sir!

Modify and add this to your op for better understanding.

SayAsSeen:



Dear sir, seeing as you and the guy whose post you quoted are the ones who are genuinely concerned or can think rationally; permit me to tell you a bit more.

I worked all through the night and was famished by the time the day broke this morning. I gave her some dough and told her to prepare me noodles and sardine, emphasizing on the fact that I was very hungry.

NOTE: Her Brother was still asleep at this time.

She prepared the meal, split it into two. Woke up and served her brother first in my guest room before coming to my room to give her hungry husband his food.

I was so mad, I ignored the food, went out to smoke a cigarette. While I was doing that it occured to me ask for advice here, because I didn't want to ask anybody I knew personally.

I still don't know whether to be mad, or to just ignore it. What she did this morning was wrong, and to those that feel otherwise, when you experience that and marriage, let us know how you feel?


I appreciate your comment sir!

I am a strong believer of common sense and respect and her actions this morning lack both!

Is she told me she needed money for something and I put my younger sister's need over her's-no matter how tribal her's might be-i know how she'd react and the amount of making up I'd have to do.

I am trying to be very mature about this, that's why I keeping things anonymous?

Besides I'd like to know, I possibly can't be the only person who has experienced this sort of situation because they say there's nothing new under the sun. Please who has ever felt this way, I am very understanding and if something irks me, it would irk every body else too.


Wish I could explain better

ibechris:
Calm down jor.

In my house,anytime my brother in law Comes into town,we serve him food like a king. In fact,I see him as my father in law.

And it does not remove anything from us...learn not to pokenose into everything.

He is just 5 years my senior yet,we cherished him as our senior.

Learn to behave brother...u too love food.

Quite the contrary, I hardly eat. They ate semo last night, I didn't. Please read modified OP for better understanding.


Thanks anyway bros!

ObaOfUyo:
The kind of things, grownup babies will allow to become problems in their homes, given the soaring rates of divorces over trivial issues, I'm beginning to understand.
This na issue wey we dey drag as we small with my brothers dem. We don grow now we dey face serious issues.

If you still dealing with insecurity and trust issues, why get married ?!? Grow up abeg.
Don't bring silly tales to NL


Receive peace.

Shut up please. Incoherent fool!

Figger:
Seems you're too pompous, he's your guest for God's sake.

Read modified OP for better understanding, then kindly comment again. I'd like your take on this, you seem genuine and intelligent. Thanks!

DICKstractor:



Why's everything becoming a problem to this new generation marriage


From the look of things, I don't think the next 5-10 generation can handle marriage


One day your wife go mess, you go say the mess smells so unfamiliar. That it is not from the kind of food you guys eat at home. Meaning, she's cheating

#spits

You spat on your foolhardiness bros!

SayAsSeen:


Dear sir, seeing as you and the guy whose post you quoted are the ones who are genuinely concerned or can think rationally; permit me to tell you a bit more.

I worked all through the night and was famished by the time the day broke this morning. I gave her some dough and told her to prepare me noodles and sardine, emphasizing on the fact that I was very hungry.

NOTE: Her Brother was still asleep at this time.

She prepared the meal, split it into two. Woke up and served her brother first in my guest room before coming to my room to give her hungry husband his food.

I was so mad, I ignored the food, went out to smoke a cigarette. While I was doing that it occured to me ask for advice here, because I didn't want to ask anybody I knew personally.

I still don't know whether to be mad, or to just ignore it. What she did this morning was wrong, and to those that feel otherwise, when you experience that and marriage, let us know how you feel?

I appreciate your comment sir!

Thank you Chief for the vote of confidence...

Honestly chief...
I would be offended by her actions...
Buh rather than ignore her and allow this to breed resentment, please talk to her and let her know exactly how you feel...

Communicate your feelings as clearly as you can, cause like elders would say "na small tin dey cause problem". . This issue if not properly handles could escalate into something else...

And as for her brother, how long has he been staying there with you? When is he intending to move out?

Honestly, I am against family members staying with married couples for extended periods of time.... So please politely separate yourself from that man...

cococandy:
All of you can eat together at the same time and it won’t be an issue

Wisdom. But not always applicable.


Thanks anyway!!

Favfables1:


Thank you Chief for the vote of confidence...

Honestly chief...
I would be offended by her actions...
Buh rather than ignore her and allow this to breed resentment, please talk to her and let her know exactly how you feel...

Communicate your feelings as clearly as you can, cause like elders would say "na small tin dey cause problem". . This issue if not properly handles could escalate into something else...

And as for her brother, how long has he been staying there with you? When is he intending to move out?

Honestly, I am against family members staying with married couples for extended periods of time.... So please politely separate yourself from that man...

Sir, my vote of confidence was rightly placed and your last question proofs that.

He has been here since I returned from my trip, let's say 8 days now. The first couple of days serving him first was cool, courteous and polite.

Then it became rude, I mean this dude isn't a guest anymore even if he still was; serving him first always is very annoying or offensive or so I think sir!

I am thinking of telling her to stop serving my food for the duration of his stay. It is beginning to seem disrespectful.


About confronting her sir, in real life-lol, I am not a man of many words. Besides I won't like to be seen as petty or immature as some may say. That's why I didn't ask older friends, my elder brother or my folks.


God bless you and meet you at the point of your needs sir!

Favfables1:


Thank you Chief for the vote of confidence...

Honestly chief...
I would be offended by her actions...
Buh rather than ignore her and allow this to breed resentment, please talk to her and let her know exactly how you feel...

Communicate your feelings as clearly as you can, cause like elders would say "na small tin dey cause problem". . This issue if not properly handles could escalate into something else...

Well put.

And as for her brother, how long has he been staying there with you? When is he intending to move out?

Honestly, I am against family members staying with married couples for extended periods of time.... So please politely separate yourself from that man...

I was going to ask that.

SayAsSeen:
Hello friends, I'd like to ask intelligent and older minds for advise about an issue before I react.

My wife's elder brother is visiting my house and my wife has been serving his food first before serving and bringing my good, in my own house.


Please I just want to ask if this is wrong or right or even just normal?

I worked all through the night and was famished by the time the day broke this morning. I gave her some dough and told her to prepare me noodles and sardine, emphasizing on the fact that I was very hungry.

NOTE: Her Brother was still asleep at this time.

She prepared the meal, split it into two. Woke up and served her brother first in my guest room before coming to my room to give her hungry husband his food.

I was so mad, I ignored the food, went out to smoke a cigarette. While I was doing that it occured to me ask for advice here, because I didn't want to ask anybody I knew personally.

I still don't know whether to be mad, or to just ignore it.

I am a strong believer of common sense and respect and her actions this morning lack both! It would have take her less than 30 seconds to give me my food then go wake and serve her brother!

Is she told me she needed money for something and I put my younger sister's need over her's-no matter how tribal her's might be-i know how she'd react and the amount of making up I'd have to do.

I am trying to be very mature about this, that's why I keeping things anonymous?

Besides I'd like to know, I possibly can't be the only person who has experienced this sort of situation because they say there's nothing new under the sun. Please who has ever felt this way, I am very understanding and if something irks me, it would irk every body else too.


Wish I could explain better

lolz another cry baby.


I REALLY CLAP FOR WOMEN THAT PAIRED UP WITH MEN LIKE YOU.

.,...Lol. And the same woman will not even bother about food if the guest is a brother in-law.

Chai.
It's absolutely wrong. Talk to your wife.

This situation is very rude oh, you won't understand until you're married.
I was oppotuned to have similar experience while am still with my parents back then. That thing really hurts my dad and he wasn't a man of much word.

My mum senior brother came and my dad invited him to the family dinning table instead of using the visitor's room. It seems my dad was very famished and that triggers the dinner to be prepared before time.
Then my mom served the visitor first and I took the food from the kitchen, I was placing the tray on the table and my dad approached it, I told him it wasn't for you but for the visitor sir...."He said politely ooookay oh and stylishly looking or something and he left the dinning to his room and sigh hmm uuh.
When I noticed that, I told my mum what I saw and he said he would take the food to him herself. He took the food to him in his bedroom and after some minutes my mom brought the food out for him to eat on the dinning and it was settled. The following morning, the dinning were already set for my dad and the visitor before they call them for their breakfast.

It means so much and I learnt big from that scene that day.
Don't mind people bashing you cus they don't know what they're saying.
Politely call your wife and tell her how you feel about that and If you can't call her kindly drop a message for her cus if you didn't address it it would take the anger to another level and you could start hating her brother for that same reason.
Glad you're a man of understanding.

There's really no biggie in the fact that she served her brother first before serving u.. but where I think I have a problem with her is the one u wrote last.. I think she shoulda served u first before going to serve a bro since he was still in bed. He doesn't need d food yet, I see no reason for her delaying u. It makes me think it's a thing that has to do with tradition or how they were raised. I'll advice u speak with.. she really might not know that she has overdone it.

U get sense sir/ma and d mama wey raise u get sense well. Ladies of nowadays no dey treat husband like they should.. Na God hand we dey

BMathew:
This situation is very rude oh, you won't understand until you're married.
I was oppotuned yo have similar experience while am still with my parents back then. That thing really hurts my dad and he wasn't a man of much word.

My mum senior brother came and my dad invited him to be the family dinning table instead of using the visitor's room. It seems my dad was very famished and that triggers the dinner to be prepared before time.
Then my mom served the visitor first and I took the food from the kitchen, I was placing the tray on the table and my dad approached it, I told him it wasn't for you but for the visitor sir...."He said politely ooookay oh and stylishly looking or something and he left the dinning to his room and sigh hmm uuh.
When I noticed that, I told my mum what I saw and he said he would take the food to him herself. He took the food to him in his bedroom and after some minutes my mom brought the food out for him to eat on the dinning and it was settled. The following morning, the dinning were already set for my dad and the visitor before they call them for their breakfast.

It means so much and I learnt big from that scene that day.
Don't mind people bashing you cus they don't know what they're saying.
Politely call your wife and tell her how you feel about that and If you can't call her kindly drop a message for her cus if you didn't address it it would take the anger to another level and you could start hating her brother for that same reason.
Glad you're a man of understanding.

Really appreciate.

elmagnifico411:
U get sense sir/ma and d mama wey raise u get sense well. Ladies of nowadays no dey treat husband like they should.. Na God hand we dey

SayAsSeen:
Hello friends, I'd like to ask intelligent and older minds for advise about an issue before I react.

My wife's elder brother is visiting my house and my wife has been serving his food first before serving and bringing my good, in my own house.


Please I just want to ask if this is wrong or right or even just normal?

I worked all through the night and was famished by the time the day broke this morning. I gave her some dough and told her to prepare me noodles and sardine, emphasizing on the fact that I was very hungry.

NOTE: Her Brother was still asleep at this time.

She prepared the meal, split it into two. Woke up and served her brother first in my guest room before coming to my room to give her hungry husband his food.

I was so mad, I ignored the food, went out to smoke a cigarette. While I was doing that it occured to me ask for advice here, because I didn't want to ask anybody I knew personally.

I still don't know whether to be mad, or to just ignore it.

I am a strong believer of common sense and respect and her actions this morning lack both! It would have take her less than 30 seconds to give me my food then go wake and serve her brother!

Is she told me she needed money for something and I put my younger sister's need over her's-no matter how tribal her's might be-i know how she'd react and the amount of making up I'd have to do.

I am trying to be very mature about this, that's why I keeping things anonymous?

Besides I'd like to know, I possibly can't be the only person who has experienced this sort of situation because they say there's nothing new under the sun. Please who has ever felt this way, I am very understanding and if something irks me, it would irk every body else too.


Wish I could explain better

You’ve got the right to be pissed bro. If you always put her needs above that of your family members then she should do the same. I know how women can be when she wants something and you tell to wait that you wanna help out a bro or sis first.

ignis:
She have been together with the brother long before she met you.

Who is this idiot

SayAsSeen:
Hello friends, I'd like to ask intelligent and older minds for advise about an issue before I react.

My wife's elder brother is visiting my house and my wife has been serving his food first before serving and bringing my good, in my own house.


Please I just want to ask if this is wrong or right or even just normal?

I worked all through the night and was famished by the time the day broke this morning. I gave her some dough and told her to prepare me noodles and sardine, emphasizing on the fact that I was very hungry.

NOTE: Her Brother was still asleep at this time.

She prepared the meal, split it into two. Woke up and served her brother first in my guest room before coming to my room to give her hungry husband his food.

I was so mad, I ignored the food, went out to smoke a cigarette. While I was doing that it occured to me ask for advice here, because I didn't want to ask anybody I knew personally.

I still don't know whether to be mad, or to just ignore it.

I am a strong believer of common sense and respect and her actions this morning lack both! It would have take her less than 30 seconds to give me my food then go wake and serve her brother!

Is she told me she needed money for something and I put my younger sister's need over her's-no matter how tribal her's might be-i know how she'd react and the amount of making up I'd have to do.

I am trying to be very mature about this, that's why I keeping things anonymous?

Besides I'd like to know, I possibly can't be the only person who has experienced this sort of situation because they say there's nothing new under the sun. Please who has ever felt this way, I am very understanding and if something irks me, it would irk every body else too.


Wish I could explain better

just make her know her mistake next time...I no use my belle play with anybody cos I dey vex when hungry..

sparog:


Who is this idiot

It takes an idiot to recognize one.

fati2001:



lolz another cry baby.


I REALLY CLAP FOR WOMEN THAT PAIRED UP WITH MEN LIKE YOU.

This must be one of those kids commenting here.
Don't comment on things you don't yet experience or understand.

This one no be "junior come take your pap". You'll understand when you get married.

Don't mind people avoiding the question

If you feel this bad, then it is worth calling your wife's attention to it. It may not matter to some people and it might matter to others. We are all different.

As long as it makes you uncomfortable, be open to get about it. There is no size that fits all.

And some people want us believe that it is only women who have problems with their in-laws.

But the fragile egos are a speciality of penïs people.

Bola146:


Like seriously, let him wait for the kids to advise him, he will be alright. All these people saying she is foolish for doing that are washing their wives panties and acting like slaves for their wives but they come online leading people astray

I can see why Nigeria is where we are today.
No rational thinking.
The man pointed out that he told his wife that he was hungry and wife's brother still sleeping.
What's the rational of waking up someone in bed to serve him food before someone awake and hungry because he is a guest.
The so called brother in-law have outstayed his welcome and should therefore go back home.
After a week in another person's house you should not expect to be treated as a guest because you have become part of the household and should expect no special treatment.
Respect is reciprocal.

ignis:
She have been together with the brother long before she met you.

Why don't she go marry the brother then?

You chop abi you no chop? See all these small things you people make a big issue in your marriage! Is it that you just no get joy and you no like peace or what?

Imagine! You are worried about who she served first! Chai! Well, let me be nice.

Dear husband, it doesn't matter who she served first. What matters is that she served everyone. Stop being petty biko. Hian!