₦airaland Forum

Theonlysonofher:
While others are celebrating the new year today I am here sobbing because my marriage is at the verge of breaking.

I loved my wife with all my heart but I don't think I will ever forgive her for what she has done to my mother.

I am the only child of my mother. I have three sisters on my father's side.
I am married with two beautiful daughters. my mother suffered from diabetes, bp and high cholesterol. She is on a special diets strictly no salt or too much sugar.

She came to stay with me because the person who was taking care of her wasn't doing her job properly so I had to bring her to my house so I will be monitoring her health.

I have a house help who prepares all her meals with less salt and she also makes sure she takes her medicines on time without fail.
Everything was fine, my mother is not a troublesome person, she gets on well with my wife and most of the time she is in her room resting.

On the 20th of December my house help had traveled to the village to see her people and she will be back in January 4th so my wife and I have to take care of my mother making sure that her foods is less salty and medicines on time.

Since I am always working so my wife had to take most of the responsibility. It is only for a week and fews days until the house help is back.

She had agreed to take care of my mother during this periods of time and I thought everything was fine but I noticed my mother become distant and tired unlike her and I had no idea that she was actually dying and I have never suspected that my wife was maltreating her.

So Thursday being 30th December I was at work when my wife called and asked me to join her at the hospital because mama had a seizure.

I rushed to the hospital and my mother was in a coma state and I asked her what happened to mama, she said mama woke up that morning complaining about shortage of breath and she told her to go back to bed and rest hoping she will be fine by the time she will wake up.
Only for mama to fall off the ground and started shaking with foam coming out of her mouth.

I was in panicked I couldn't stop praying for my mother to get better and I didn't leave the hospital, my wife went home to take care of the children because she has left them with the neighbour and I had spend all night prayer vigil at my mother's bedside and glory be to God my mother woke up yesterday being 31st but the doctor report was not a good news for me.

Actually my mother was poisoned with salt and guess who did it? My beloved wife couldn't bothered to cook a different meal for my mother, she used to feed her the same meal we ate knowing full well that mama cannot eat the same foods as us because we are salt lovers, especially my wife, she love eating too much salt which I have warned her over and over again because it is also not good for her health.

I confronted her, she said she only fed mama the same meals we ate twice only but according to the doctor it was more than two times.

I am hurt that my wife doesnt love my mother or treat her like her own mother because if she truly loved her like her own mother she would have put her diet on consideration and not allow her to eat the same meal as us. I love her mother and u treat her like my own mother.

It pains me a lot when I remember five years ago when her mother was in coma state and she was staying with her at the hospital, she is her only daughter amongst three boys.

I used to visit them everyday after work, I will bring foods and I have even washed her mother clothes with my own hands, I have done with love because she is my mother. I called my mother in law this morning and I have informed her about what her daughter has done to my mother and she couldn't stop apologising and she is very disappointed with my wife.

But see how she has repaid me by hurting my own mother.

She has apologised to me and to my mother, I have forgave her but I don't think I can stay with her again because one day if I become sick or bedridden she might treat me the same way.

Honestly speaking I am not even at home with her and the kids, I am at my cousin brother's house since yesterday I left the hospital and my mother is still in the hospital because she needs more treatment and hopefully she will recover by next week.

I don't feel like going home today and I don't know when I'll go home but I will always be there for my girls because they are the best thing that ever happened to me.

What other advice would you give me on this situation? What are your thoughts? Thank you for reading all I love this community.

Theonlysonofher:
Unfortunately my sweet mother left us

Theonlysonofher:
Unfortunately my sweet mother left us

Askseek:
Serving her meals with salt would increase her blood pressure, make her retain fluids. The amount of salt required for poisoning cannot be in the food since you all ate the same food. It would be inedible. Something else is wrong with mama. Free your wife and ask the doctor to explain better.

eyinjuege:
This your story get as e be.
I doubt the kind of salt that would make your mum have a seizure is one that anyone would be able to eat the meal, including your wife who likes salt. And this happened in about a week.
I would look into another cause for her seizures.
Hope she had a brain scan at the hospital because she might have suffered a stroke or ministroke.
Or was Mama having more than the number of tablets she should be having for her diabetes? Was she deliberately/unintentionally being overdosed on antidiabetic drugs that can cause low glucose, which in turn can cause seizures? Who is in charge of giving her the medicines? Can she be doing that by herself?
Or Mama has been avoiding eating food prepared by your wife because it's too salty, and she's still taking her diabetic medication on an empty stomach?
Please investigate further and ask your mum how she has been using her medicines.
It may be better to get her a weekly pill box with days of the week and times to take her medicine, so nobody gets confused about how she should be using her medicines

soundOsonic:
You haven't forgiven her, if at all you have you wouldn't be here posting this.
The only problem I saw here was lack of proper education from your wife.
Now sir, reason this: if she actually knew feeding her salt will lead to this; would she have fed her?
She was only careless and didn't take her diabetes serious.
She acknowledged her mistake and she had apologized already. I know this trying time is enough to pass blame, but blaming her wouldn't make the matter better or worse.

It was a silly mistake, even doctors makes mistakes, you too make mistakes, she had learnt. Go back to your house and clear it from your chest and celebrate the new year with your family.
Happy New year

Modified:
For those quoting me
For those saying it was intentional, you need to have sense. This isn't Nollywood movie it is real life.
The wife was only lazy and took her sickness for granted. This is the most logical explanation. It is still thesame reason why you poison yourselves taking alcohol, soft drinks, and food rich in oil and fats, though you are conscious of this fact this things are not good for you yet you take them, this is because you are not taking your health serious and you haven't seen with your eyes the implications what this things can cause.
The woman was conscious of the fact this things are not good, but she took it lightly because she haven't seen in first hand the implications.
I myself haven't seen first hand the implications of diabetics. I would have made same mistake due to laziness.

Modified: I heard the mama died OP take heart. Your wife was just foolish and that foolishness led to the costly mistake that was paid with a human life. Such is life, you have every right to be angry but madam did not kill your mother intentionally. Life goes on, I wish you would forgive her one day. Just note it can happen to anybody

Theonlysonofher:
While others are celebrating the new year today I am here sobbing because my marriage is at the verge of breaking.

I loved my wife with all my heart but I don't think I will ever forgive her for what she has done to my mother.

I am the only child of my mother. I have three sisters on my father's side.
I am married with two beautiful daughters. my mother suffered from diabetes, bp and high cholesterol. She is on a special diets strictly no salt or too much sugar.

She came to stay with me because the person who was taking care of her wasn't doing her job properly so I had to bring her to my house so I will be monitoring her health.

I have a house help who prepares all her meals with less salt and she also makes sure she takes her medicines on time without fail.
Everything was fine, my mother is not a troublesome person, she gets on well with my wife and most of the time she is in her room resting.

On the 20th of December my house help had traveled to the village to see her people and she will be back in January 4th so my wife and I have to take care of my mother making sure that her foods is less salty and medicines on time.

Since I am always working so my wife had to take most of the responsibility. It is only for a week and fews days until the house help is back.

She had agreed to take care of my mother during this periods of time and I thought everything was fine but I noticed my mother become distant and tired unlike her and I had no idea that she was actually dying and I have never suspected that my wife was maltreating her.

So Thursday being 30th December I was at work when my wife called and asked me to join her at the hospital because mama had a seizure.

I rushed to the hospital and my mother was in a coma state and I asked her what happened to mama, she said mama woke up that morning complaining about shortage of breath and she told her to go back to bed and rest hoping she will be fine by the time she will wake up.
Only for mama to fall off the ground and started shaking with foam coming out of her mouth.

I was in panicked I couldn't stop praying for my mother to get better and I didn't leave the hospital, my wife went home to take care of the children because she has left them with the neighbour and I had spend all night prayer vigil at my mother's bedside and glory be to God my mother woke up yesterday being 31st but the doctor report was not a good news for me.

Actually my mother was poisoned with salt and guess who did it? My beloved wife couldn't bothered to cook a different meal for my mother, she used to feed her the same meal we ate knowing full well that mama cannot eat the same foods as us because we are salt lovers, especially my wife, she love eating too much salt which I have warned her over and over again because it is also not good for her health.

I confronted her, she said she only fed mama the same meals we ate twice only but according to the doctor it was more than two times.

I am hurt that my wife doesnt love my mother or treat her like her own mother because if she truly loved her like her own mother she would have put her diet on consideration and not allow her to eat the same meal as us. I love her mother and u treat her like my own mother.

It pains me a lot when I remember five years ago when her mother was in coma state and she was staying with her at the hospital, she is her only daughter amongst three boys.

I used to visit them everyday after work, I will bring foods and I have even washed her mother clothes with my own hands, I have done with love because she is my mother. I called my mother in law this morning and I have informed her about what her daughter has done to my mother and she couldn't stop apologising and she is very disappointed with my wife.

But see how she has repaid me by hurting my own mother.

She has apologised to me and to my mother, I have forgave her but I don't think I can stay with her again because one day if I become sick or bedridden she might treat me the same way.

Honestly speaking I am not even at home with her and the kids, I am at my cousin brother's house since yesterday I left the hospital and my mother is still in the hospital because she needs more treatment and hopefully she will recover by next week.

I don't feel like going home today and I don't know when I'll go home but I will always be there for my girls because they are the best thing that ever happened to me.

What other advice would you give me on this situation? What are your thoughts? Thank you for reading all I love this community.

bomsilaga:
Believe me, you are overreacting.
She knew it wasn't good for her health but obviously didn't know it could be that bad.

You have a good woman as wife and please try get over this mistake and live your lives well as before.

Nobody said marriage would be without these pains and errors.

Cheers

Pearl05:
Oh. So sorry sir. The loss of a beloved is a terrible feeling and phase( loss my big brother to kidney disease 3 months ago and still hurting) I pray that the Holy spirit comforts and strengthens you.

May her spirit rest in perfect peace.

haslaw:
You are worse than a murderer for defending and evil murderer. You DESPICABLE EViL thing.

soundOsonic:
You haven't forgiven her, if at all you have you wouldn't be here posting this.
The only problem I saw here was lack of proper education from your wife.
Now sir, reason this: if she actually knew feeding her salt will lead to this; would she have fed her?
She was only careless and didn't take her diabetes serious.
She acknowledged her mistake and she had apologized already. I know this trying time is enough to pass blame, but blaming her wouldn't make the matter better or worse.

It was a silly mistake, even doctors makes mistakes, you too make mistakes, she had learnt. Go back to your house and clear it from your chest and celebrate the new year with your family.
Happy New year

Modified:
For those quoting me
For those saying it was intentional, you need to have sense. This isn't Nollywood movie it is real life.
The wife was only lazy and took her sickness for granted. This is the most logical explanation. It is still thesame reason why you poison yourselves taking alcohol, soft drinks, and food rich in oil and fats, though you are conscious of this fact this things are not good for you yet you take them, this is because you are not taking your health serious and you haven't seen with your eyes the implications what this things can cause.
The woman was conscious of the fact this things are not good, but she took it lightly because she haven't seen in first hand the implications.
I myself haven't seen first hand the implications of diabetics. I would have made same mistake due to laziness.

Modified: I heard the mama died OP take heart. Your wife was just foolish and that foolishness led to the costly mistake that was paid with a human life. Such is life, you have every right to be angry but madam did not kill your mother intentionally. Life goes on, I wish you would forgive her one day. Just note it can happen to anybody

Beremx:
Your wife has asked for forgiveness. What else do you want?

Waiting for misogynistic people like Kris’s.216 to come advice you to divorce your wife

Ketapu:
OP, read about MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way). Don't Google search it because it is the feminist misogyny definition you will find on Google. Feminists have done well to demonize the movement.

To learn about MGTOW, go to www.goingyourownway.com

No woman can give you the kind of love you want. They just can't provide it.

Also, the best way to know the character of a woman is to study how she treats THOSE SHE CONSIDER HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER HER.
You have seen how she treated your mum, leading to her death.

Don't make the mistake of marrying again. Live for yourself. Take time to heal. Don't kill ypurself. Accept you made mistake marrying that lady.

Make money and take very good care of yourself. At the end of this life, nothing matters. Your dead body won't care if you had money, children, wife, certificates, etc. NOTHING MATTERS AT THE END

If you are living in a rented house, move out. Park all your documents. Go to another city or even country if you can afford it. Start a new life completely devoid of anything in your past.

Forget everything.

I know this may be hard in the beginning. But as time goes on, you will realize the only person that can care for you is yourself.

Go Your Own Way. For a start, read the book called "ANATOMY OF FEMALE POWER."

The book will show you all the mistakes you made with women which lead you to your present condition.

May the soul of your mum rest in peace.

candygist:
Who be this aboki ? Did I ask him to separate mother and daughters ? Is it not also in the interest of the mother of the daughters her trained in a developed country ?

Karleb:
NL doctor, Pele o!

Landowner101:
May your wife be lazy and take you for granted during trying times.
People just post without thinking

adieora:
Oga... your problem is ignorance.
I am a doctor and I can tell you that salt did nothing to your mother. It may slightly increase her blood pressure but that is about it.
Your mother is unwell. You have to accept that she will sometimes be even more unwell than she presently is.
If you like, destroy your home. Don't let ignorance destroy you.
Do you know how much salt will be required to make someone unwell? If your wife put in the amount of salt that would have made you mum unwell, your mum would not have been able to to eat that food.

AkaraAndBread:
My good friend, sorry to burst your bubble but the person you seem to be mocking is actually correct (ironic isn't it)

High sodium levels can lead to fluid retention and also raise blood pressure but any doctor that reads this story will know that this story is pure hogwash.

So our good doctor that attended to Mama now alluded cause of death to hypernatremia abi? And the hypernatremia was caused by consuming excess salt in a meal that was eaten by other people (really??)

And the good doctor could confidently say this to the relatives of the deceased without an autopsy report ( see as some stupid doctors dey scatter family).

Medical practice in Nigeria is indeed amazing.

Winnerly:
This is a golden post. Thanks for this

Danisbrosautos:
It's very unfortunate you typed this rubbish. Someone is mourning and this gutter of a nonsense is all that comes to your dumb head to dish out. It's too early 2022.. Its a pity.

Ifakiland: Is your mom so old she can't cook her own meals or couldn't refuse salted meal??
You and your wife are both workers, how do you expect her to prepare two meals at once
Smh na marry she marry you, she no commit capital crime abeg

Origin:
You left the kids, the house , your mother ALL in the hands of your wife......


Do you ever reason this?

If your wife should leave the house for a day no husband could cope with all her work so I laugh when I hear I had to go to work and left her in the care of my wife....

Before you go to work make your mother's meals no excuse, because we always make time for those things we care about ... ALWAYS.