DrFunmisticGlow:
stay single or find a sugar mummy, because you as a man, are not ready for marriage and the responsibility of being the head of the household

Those so called responsibilities are old fashioned.... if we are to go the old way tthe woman would not even go to school..... why then did she spend 4yrrs in school....

sketching:


He wants her to survive with 50k in this Buhari era and an inflated naira. Internet subscription alone is 10% of her income. Even the useless trust fund is inflated naira. Suffer head plan.

He should find a village uneducated girl that can wear one wrapper everyday except when going to church or party.

so married woman that earns 25-30k and still assist the house don't survive if so..

Entime wives on Nairaland

I don laugh tire for most comments here.

The truth of the matter be say...do what you think works for you. There is no particular model for every marriage. If you be man and you want to spend all your money in marriage without your wife contributing...go ahead. If you be man and you want your wife to contribute some or all her earnings towards marriage...go ahead. No allow anyone to tell you how you should run your family/marriage. Do what you think that will work for you.

For me oh...I believe that my future wife must contribute 100%. There will not be anything like "my money is only mine and your money is for both of us". Whatever we earn will be jointly pulled together (no matter who earns more) for the success of the family. I have always told her that I am not interested in her money now cos we are not married but mine also belongs to her. But immediately we marry...her money ceases to be hers alone but ours.

Time don change. The success of the family is for both of us to work towards and not only me

Lmao…in Western societies why do you think people get prenuptial agreements before getting married
Especially when one partner clearly has more to lose financially
You really think if the lady was the one making 300k she wouldn’t have this discussion with him
Try dey reason before you respond sha, it’s not that hard.

Ladycewhy:
In this life manner of approach is everything. Maybe the fact that the op feels he is well off than her is the reason he is too full of himself to approach like someone he wants to marry and not an employee you are offering a job offer to. And that itself is even a more worrisome red flag .


Freely is the word here except you are ignorant of what "freely" means in the context of being handed proposal.


Yen yen yen , entitlement ,you sure have been using words not related to the context of this thread. It's not entitlement to walk out of a relationship ,it's even the more not entitlement if you are given a devil's deal and turn it down.

Yes some women will accept it, good for them, it does mean the lady is will not be a good wife to someone else. It's just how the world works. All this nagging and wailing from boys is nauseating abeg. She didn't make a fuss,she didn't protest ,she gave it a thought and decided it wasn't for her, that sounds like a sensible lady if you ask me.

Leeching a** leech.

Animegirl:


You don't even know "woman's need", that's why you did that rubbish list. That 80k, isn't enough as a lady talkless of family. Unless you want her to look like an hag, in her husband's house.

Worst, you haven't even settled down yet, you're placing small responsibilities on her head. Be calming down na.

If you want something like this, better find another woman who is willing to contribute to the family with higher earnings.

AdaNri1:
maybe she did but I find it scary the way the poster has put this down. He sounds like a very selfish person. His type may not even marry a woman who is still a jobseeker.

This is why I bless God everyday for my husband. He had faith in me and by God’s grace he is reaping the benefit. My whole salary every month is now his savings. If I want anything I take from the money he gives me as allowance and he has not disappointed.
If you Marry a God-fearing and understanding woman who has ambitions, everything else will fall into place.
All these yam measurers I just pity the women that marry them out of desperation.

Anakogheri.

You women don't just like spending your money.
It's better you stay at home and do house chores.

bigpicture001:


Thanks man.. heard from her friend that sh said am too stingy,.

Honestly I didn't make her spend up to 50k from her wage.. 300k is not big and can be exhausted soon..

The weight will be too much if I form the normal Nigerian guy who likes to carry load on their head

Oga please forget about what any friend is saying now o. This is the not the best time to listen to dem say, she said.

I don't have any problem with what you listed but look at the amount she is earning. If she earns more than 80k, then with what you listed is no problem.

Women have needs and you know how things are now. I am sure she transports herself to work too and takes lunch atimes.

What if she is the type that sends monthly stipends home too?? Will the remaining be enough for her? Will she be able to save afterwards.
If she ran away after you guys have dated for years, it might not be just because of this alone.

I guess she must have seen something else and this didn't help also.
.If she has been nice to you over the years and will make a good wife material, have a dialogue with her o.

dmostcheerful:

Oga I read everything.
You all wants a woman to contribute financially running the family, do you contribute in chores, will you give birth for her?
Will you take care of the kids when they start coming.
Most of you don't even know how to wash plate, how do you expect a woman to wake by 4:30am make breakfast and lunch, leave for 2ork.
Come back by 4pm.
Wash the cloth, keep the house, do school runs and still be financially responsible too.
You need a woman to take care of the home money wise what do you do domestic too?
From that 80k she will make her hair monthly too.
A pack of attachment is 2500 she needs like 2 pack, then 5k to the hair dresser, she buys her tappon, buys her clothing's out of the said 80k.
You people are so selfish here.
Out of all expenses he listed he won't even be spending upto 150k.
He have over 150k to save, what exactly does the wife save too?
Also who should be responsible for clothings?
A man's major responsibility is providing financially for the family.
Making his family comfortable.
A woman's is keeping the family, cooking, cleaning, the kids and so on.
Look I am married too, any salary from my husband's pay goes directly to my account as soon as he gets it, I buy all that is needed for the month, give account and we save the rest.
You can't marry a woman and place financial responsibility on her, the early you understand a woman should do that voluntarily and a man should do chores voluntarily the earlier for you.
Except you 2ants to run back to nairaland with, "please help me how do I solve this problem in my family?"

Selfish beings. Why not just stay at home and do chores alone?

pompeiimagnus:
Lmao…in Western societies why do you think people get prenuptial agreements before getting married
Especially when one partner clearly has more to lose financially
You really think if the lady was the one making 300k she wouldn’t have this discussion with him
Try dey reason before you respond sha, it’s not that hard.

In western bla bla bla na here dem dey see una ,in those same western countries men cook clean and shop. But here her ancestors will be invoked from the land of the dead if such happens here.

You sef nor dey reason like who e brain dey under e yansh, abi you don use mess ruin the cells finish .

Incase you missed that part where prenup is based on issues of custody and divorce settlement of which you and I know such things are alien to Nigeria .


It's unintelligent to even bring prenup in this context. You and I know in Nigeria despite her still contributing more than 60% of her salary and doing all the chores and taking care of the kids ,he can still throw her out for putting too much salt in the soup and absolutely nothing will happen.

myfantasies:
I am sure if you read my mention from top to bottom you won't type this garbage.

You want to try to prove that you are intelligent, but you missed the important thing I mentioned in my mention, go back and read it, I will be waiting.

madam nothing u write wey make sense.
u dey vomit garbage.
Entime wives

Shoodboi:


While I greatly commend you for discussing finances with your future wife, this plan appears lopsided and most of it is so ridiculous that my heart kept racing as I read through.

You mean you asked your wife to choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly?

Then you talked about buying a "family car"? Is it a family car or your car that you'll use for the family? I bet it would be registered in your name and not hers/yours and hers.

And you expect her to fund your outings?

Common man, almost everything there is ridiculous.

It's as if you're trying to dump your part of your responsibilities on her, and as she guessed, which I'm also thinking, it'd get worse after you guys get married.

You're the man here and the man is the head of the family, so you should take charge.

Man carry the financial burden in marriages while women support, but what you're asking for here is more than support and she's right to not want it.

Many guys here will hail you for dodging a bullet. But it appears that your ex is the one who actually dodged a bullet.

There's a reason men die earlier than women.

If the girlfriend had told him that cooking and other house chores are to be shared I wonder how he’ll react.
For instance; get the children ready for school
Wash up after meals
Daily Cooking
Daily cleaning
Cleaning the whole house weekly
Going shopping for daily groceries
Washing the kids clothes
Making school lunch
Ironing clothes

zimach:



Oga please forget about what any friend is saying now o. This is the not the best time to listen to dem say, she said.

I don't have any problem with what you listed but look at the amount she is earning. If she earns more than 80k, then with what you listed is no problem.

Women have needs and you know how things are now. I am sure she transports herself to work too and takes lunch atimes.

What if she is the type that sends monthly stipends home too?? Will the remaining be enough for her? Will she be able to save afterwards.
If she ran away after you guys have dated for years, it might not be just because of this alone.

I guess she must have seen something else and this didn't help also.
.If she has been nice to you over the years and will make a good wife material, have a dialogue with her o.

that's why the proportion isn't same.

Ladycewhy:
There is nothing here that states that the lady in question is not prudent tho,it's just your assumptions working on your reality. If she wasn't prudent a stingy dictator like the op would not even think of marriage with her.


Yes she ran, there are deal breakers and red flags, taking the devil's deal is not must . She isn't that desperate to bear Mrs and take just any deal.


Like someone suggested below he should get a woman who hands over her salary to him. Just because there are women out there who can take such a deal doesn't make the lady a non wife material. Make una nor dey yarn opata like that ,is stupid and childish.

As the saying goes different strokes for different folks , that she rejected this deal doesn't mean she won't make a good wife to a more reasonable man.

Calling him stingy despite contributing 80% of his income shows the entitlement mentality of average Nigerian girls.
Yes some things in that list are outrageous, it shows he doesn't even know what day to day running of family is but calling him stingy with this plan is very wrong.

Do u noticed op even shot himself in the foot by saying he will buy car and maintain it which includes fueling the car? I hope u know transportation is out of her concern?

He said hospital bills will be his also.

Ladies are just mad that the guy dear to plan the woman's income into the family which is how it should be in the first place but they way daughters are brought up, they tend to think it is wrong.

The plan sef is too much.... If the time comes it can be settled.

We all need those but u need to do what u have to do.

Abfinest007:
You should have asked her in what way , will she support you ,not you dividing it .you can even make a list of all the expenses then let her chose

d money is not for d guy now... Save for ur own kids go come turn wahala? D savings fit save una sef for days of emergency.... D guy has done well in my opinion

seunfly:


Calling him stingy despite contributing 80% of his income shows the entitlement mentality of average Nigerian girls.
Yes some things in that list are outrageous, it shows he doesn't even know what day to day running of family is but calling him stingy with this plan is very wrong.

Do u noticed op even short himself in the foot buy saying he will buy car and maintain it which includes fueling the car? I hope u know transportation is out of her concern?

He said hospital bills will be his also.

Ladies are just mad that the guy dear to plan the woman's income into the family which is how it should be in the first place but they way daughters are brought up, they tend to think it is wrong.

Nope I am not mad at planning finances but the way and manner is the problem.

Infact the op comes off as lacking empathy. Now
The both of them work and contribute to the house ,they both go through work stress regardless of the salary ,so let me ask would the op be open to sharing the chores and taking care of the kids as well? Will the op be open to going to the market to get groceries and cook ?

If we even do the maths ,the lady might end up spending her entire salary ,the least meat I have bought for just small stew is 2k and for someone full of himself like the op he will not want to repeat one meal twice a day, he says she will take care of food supplement ,but buying 2k meat per pot is not "light " expenses how much be kilo of chicken? How much be fish? she never buy stock fish and other medemede.

She is also going to be paying cable subscription o,you sef check am na. I am sure she has done the maths and gave it a thought.l sincerely hope she meets some more reasonable ,cos the fact that she turned down the deal doesn't make her a less wife material .

myfantasies:
I am sure if you read my mention from top to bottom you won't type this garbage.

You want to try to prove that you are intelligent, but you missed the important thing I mentioned in my mention, go back and read it, I will be waiting.

Go back and read gini? Abeg no need to wait. Comot body joor.

Dem tell you say na everybody you see go follow you argue? If you reach your husband house, no drop anything financially. For my own home, my wife must to dey drop something, no matter how little. So with this single difference in mentality, I have been able to convince and not confuse you that we don't align at all. Make all man dey their dey.

Once again, comot body

MuchAdo:
@OP

You asked too much of her to be honest.

Women are not after rich guys. They just want a man who will/can pay all the family bills as much as possible.

She will take care of herself and chip in her own little assistance from time to time unsolicited.

These women also have their immediate past nuclear and extended families to cater for to an extent. Most times they don't want to bother you with that.

The man dropped from the tree without a family, right?

1x2x3:


He's not joking. I can deduce he married a very pretty woman he chased for many months before she somehow accepted his sorry asssss so since then he's been living the chasing life otherwise she would threaten him with divorce .

I pray he's joking though.

Guy chill kwanu . You go soon cause problem for that family this night

patoski39:
the thing b say, So called 'MATURED' men for this country dn spoil them (women). Notice say all the women and most married MATURED men wey comment, bash the op and try to guilt trip am so that him no go spoil the NORMS.
If every single guy do like the OP, all the single women go sit up and e go become the NORMS. The correct NORMS

God forbid. I will rather go and sojourn in an evil forest than succumb to such "norm". But no cause for alarm because all the girls for this world no fit looseguard their humanity and senses at once. There will still be few " remnants".

Her salary is negligible and inconsequential in this case anyways, so that your imaginary 60% is meaningless. Even your great and grandmothers went to the farm and market to financially support their families regardless of how small the contribution was. I no just get your strength sha. Lmao

Ladycewhy:
In western bla bla bla na here dem dey see una ,in those same western countries men cook clean and shop. But here her ancestors will be invoked from the land of the dead if such happens here.

You sef nor dey reason like who e brain dey under e yansh, abi you don use mess ruin the cells finish .

Incase you missed that part where prenup is based on issues of custody and divorce settlement of which you and I know such things are alien to Nigeria .


It's unintelligent to even bring prenup in a this context. You and I know in Nigeria despite her still contributing more than 60% of her salary and doing all the chores and taking care of the kids ,he can still throw her out for putting to much salt in the soup and absolutely nothing will happen.

ImaIma1:
This op is a joke. This is something both of you should come up with together. You can't just create a plan and expect her to follow it. What kind of marriage will you have? You making the decisions first and telling her later?

And what she should do was to have a civil discussion with respect to what she thinks will work. At the end of the day in marriage, any party could bring a suggestion and it is for both of them to fine tune it based on their situation.

GboyegaD:


The man dropped from the tree without a family, right?

Lmao….the matter get as e be sha

You are a bit selfish, 80K? Do you know how much it takes for a woman to look after her body?

pompeiimagnus:
Her salary is negligible and inconsequential in this case anyways, so that your imaginary 60% is meaningless. Even your great and grandmothers went to the farm and market to financially support their families regardless of how small the contribution was. I no just get your strength sha. Lmao

Seems you are slow.

Her salary is incosequatial but it was consequential enough to warrant a drafted proposal. Even an employee gets a better deal.

And the great grand mothers were given farmland by their husbands, or your knowledge of history is too distorted to know that part?

And your great grandfather bought wrappers for their wives ,incase you also missed that part of history.

Just getat. You nor know anything.

DrFunmisticGlow:
stay single or find a sugar mummy, because you as a man, are not ready for marriage and the responsibility of being the head of the household

Please explain.

pompeiimagnus:


Lmao….the matter get as e be sha

If there was a mantra I had when I was single, I'm not alpha and omega. Apparently, my parents and most family members around me pooled their funds as a couple so I knew that was what I will do.

It worked for them and it's been working for me.

na2016:
You are a bit selfish, 80K? Do you know how much it takes for a woman to look after her body?

How much?

MuchAdo:
@OP

You asked too much of her to be honest.

Women are not after rich guys. They just want a man who will/can pay all the family bills as much as possible.

She will take care of herself and chip in her own little assistance from time to time unsolicited.

These women also have their immediate past nuclear and extended families to cater for to an extent. Most times they don't want to bother you with that.

lol.
So the man no get immediate past nuclear and extended families to cater for to an extent?

Lmao….just wow!

Ladycewhy:
Seems you are slow.

Her salary is incosequatial but it was consequential enough to warrant a drafted proposal. Even an employee gets a better deal.

And the great grand mothers were given farmland by their husbands, or your knowledge of history is too distorted to know that part?

And your great grandfather bought wrappers for their wives ,incase you also missed that part of history.

Just getat. You nor know anything.

Funkybabee:
You are very funny with that vacation, vacation ko, plantation ni

You sound so strict to me, she need to think her head before saying I do

You can't let her start saving dine without being legally married yet

20k vacation
10k bill
Gotv e.tc

She will buy herself clothes
Monthly pad
Hair
Make up things
Undies
Parents at least 5k each to father and mother
Transportation to her working place
Her siblings, like if she has Junior sis like we now e.t.c and many things

So she should not save abi

I think you need to get her a better job because no woman will want to commit to that unless she's old and desperate to marry omo it's not easy

All he needs is someone who aligns with his vision on what a marriage should be.

Animegirl:


You don't even know "woman's need", that's why you did that rubbish list. That 80k, isn't enough as a lady talkless of family. .

So 80k can take care of a lady alone now. Abeg park well.