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My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan - Romance (23) - Nairaland

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Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by ivolt: 2:29am On Jan 04, 2022
adanny01:


Bro u f....d up big time.

You scared the devil out of her. On the other hand, she failed the test cos thats what I consider your ridiculous plans.

You earn 300 against her 80, any woman wants you to give her 150 plus hers to manage. Anything else means u are stingy. That kind of discussion should not have been made with today's women.
I didn't read where she asked for 150K. Besides, only a foolish person will hand over even 5% of
their salary instead of spending based on necessity.
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by ivolt: 2:30am On Jan 04, 2022
seunfly:


Yes he could v been a fiction but this will open many people's eyes, this is a very important conversation and I v been able to peep into many people's mind here.
A man who earns 300K should have nothing to do with a woman who earns 80K unless
he understands the ramifications of such action.

He wants to place a 300K salary burden on someone who earns 80K if you know what I mean.
People's salary influence their taste, a gift that is valuable to a minimum wage earner may be useless
to a millionaire.
Her salary is even lower than many people's monthly Nepa bill.

Vacation really? No sensible person who earns 80K will even contemplate such when their focus should
be 100% on future investment.

7 Likes

Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by seunfly: 2:31am On Jan 04, 2022
Wazobia2216:

You are okay! As long as you can also share child bearing into 50/50!
What do u mean by child bearing?

I wants to know because I don't want to assume.
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Ladycewhy(f): 2:32am On Jan 04, 2022
seunfly:


To avoid assumptions is the reason why I said we needs to know d details of op's proposal instead of assuming it is all negative based on mindset, if the mindset is negative, the assumption will be negative but turning down details and assuming negative is also not wise.
From my own point of view and based on people around me, I will like to know d details and that was why I keep emphasis on mind set.

Like v said before, it's obvious majority of people on this thread are not married, they all hold a position of negativety to marriage which is not so.
He already gave the details na you wan dey form oversabi dey assume.

He stated it all clear there, but hey God forbid say you nor blend your bias join. You sef look your own mindset wether e clear like this so? Nor be bias dey ooze so?

Come your wife nor come this world with anybody if she wan dey hand her salary over to you dey kneel down dey serve you food, her call,that you will now come and be using that to dictate to others is nothing short of outright imposure.


Assuming negative? Lol so only women have red flags and deal breakers? Who even knows the manner in which the op presented the proposal to her ,you nor dey there, but assumptions just full your mindset.


At the end,it's her life and her choice ,the only reason is see boys whining and wailing is that she had the guts to walk out and wasn't ready to accept a bad deal just to bear Mrs.
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by FBS: 2:32am On Jan 04, 2022
@OP

Marriage is a language only few can truly speak so there are no right or wrong answers. '

However, you do have 2 options

1. Make YOUR plan work FOR YOU

or

2. FIND someone to work on "YOUR" plan with and make it work FOR BOTH OF YOU.

If someone is not committed to sacrifice some of what they have, it is likely they are not committed in sacrificing anything at all.

My 2 shile.
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by FBS: 2:33am On Jan 04, 2022
Wazobia2216:

You are okay! As long as you can also share child bearing into 50/50!
I also want to know about this? What is child bearing?
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by ivolt: 2:33am On Jan 04, 2022
seunfly:


Yes that vacation is nonsense, I will like to know some details of other things.
His list makes little sense.
Some people's NEPA bill are more than her salary, yet he wants her to
take care of it.
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by ivolt: 2:35am On Jan 04, 2022
Vireani79:


a real feminist wont run away
its the entitled nigerian ladies that want to be boss with u but wont contribute

these are the ones that run away not feminist
A real feminist, in fact anyone with a brain would run when they see a slavery plan.
The fact that a person unilaterally dictated the list is even the biggest red flag.
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by seunfly: 2:35am On Jan 04, 2022
ivolt:

A man who earns 300K should have nothing to do with a woman who earns 80K unless
he understands the ramifications of such action.

He wants to place a 300K salary burden on someone who earns 80K if you know what I mean.
People's salary influence their taste, a gift that is valuable to a minimum wage earner may be useless
to a millionaire.
Her salary is even lower than many people's monthly Nepa bill.

Vacation really? No sensible person who earns 80K will even contemplate such when their focus should
be 100% on future investment.

You are very correct, I can't stop repeating myself that it is obvious that op does not know 100% what it takes to run a family.

Instead of that nonsense vacation he should have placed mortgage as priority, I bet the lady might understand.
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by BigBashiru: 2:36am On Jan 04, 2022
na2016:


I sincerely don't know if you are married oo but if you are, if you try what this OP wrote, you will not have a home. A woman should contribute to the home but there is a limit. If you want to live off a woman, you will see the end result.

Relad the original wrote up. 70-30 is fair seeing as the girls aren't virgins these days and they also hv university degrees which means they can work...
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Ladycewhy(f): 2:37am On Jan 04, 2022
ivolt:

A man who earns 300K should have nothing to do with a woman who earns 80K unless
he understands the ramifications of such action.

He wants to place a 300K salary burden on someone who earns 80K if you know what I mean.
People's salary influence their taste, a gift that is valuable to a minimum wage earner may be useless
to a millionaire.
Her salary is even lower than many people's monthly Nepa bill.

Vacation really? No sensible person who earns 80K will even contemplate such when their focus should
be 100% on future investment.
the bolded is what I have been saying.

Imagine asking her to contribute from her 80k to vacations abroad ,car and cable subscription . If she was alone she would probably not even be thinking of vacation not to talk of abroad. This kind of guy na better meat and medemede e go like to dey eat where as he wants his wife to be using her 80k for food supplements.

3 Likes

Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by FBS: 2:38am On Jan 04, 2022
na2016:


A woman requires more money to care for herself than a man. This amount varies for different women and when you add all those to what OP just wrote, you will notice that he doesn't want that lady to have any personal funds. Won't she be giving her parents something from time to time? Must she always ask him for such? Op may have good intentions but even if the best lady accepts this proposition, she will revolt later.
Says who? Where did you get that information from?
What does she need personal funds for? Is she not part of a family?
Won't the man be giving something to his parents from time to time?
He is earning 300K and taking care of more than 80% of everything, including cars, RENT (This is MASSIVE), fuel etc.

What else do you all want?

All I read is she, her, her parents, her siblings, her parents....

What about the man

2 Likes

Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by BigBashiru: 2:39am On Jan 04, 2022
Ladycewhy:
He already gave the details na you wan dey form oversabi dey assume.

He stated it all clear there, but hey God forbid say you nor blend your bias join. You sef look your own mindset wether e clear like this so? Nor be bias dey ooze so?

Come your wife nor come this world with anybody if she wan dey hand her salary over to you dey kneel down dey serve you food, her call,that you will now come and be using that to dictate to others is nothing short of outright imposure.


Assuming negative? Lol so only women have red flags and deal breakers? Who even knows the manner in which the op presented the proposal to her ,you nor dey there, but assumptions just full your mindset.


At the end,it's her life and her choice ,the only reason is see boys whining and wailing is that she had the guts to walk out and wasn't ready to accept a bad deal just to bear Mrs.

If its her life and her choice then it's the man's life and choice too.... the op even try sef... I know a guy that sayit must be 50-50 contribution else he no dey marry. Guys are woke now
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by ivolt: 2:39am On Jan 04, 2022
dingbang:
you are definitely right. 300k looks like big money but when bills start piling up, it will finish even before a month.
This is not a problem since there are couples who earn roughly 80K.
The man wants to claim equality on a lifestyle he unilaterally designed for two people.
That is nothing but slavery. He should either downgrade his lifestyle to the level of a
person who earns 80K or find an equal or higher earner.



Bros you need to look for a woman earning higher, that is your best bet. You dont need to be chasing the wrong things this year else you will enter into debt even with your 300k.

Your cap should be a lady with salary of 150k least upwards.
Good advice.

3 Likes

Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by seunfly: 2:41am On Jan 04, 2022
ivolt:

His list makes little sense.
Some people's NEPA bill are more than her salary, yet he wants her to
take care of it.
Education, bulk food etc is ok, dstv is choice, Nepa bill depends.

All this conditions will disappear when true family expenses sets in, what I v realised is any body will spend their last kobo when true need arises.
For instance will both of them sleep in darkness when they ran out of nepa units? Will d husband say it is my wife duty or will wife say I'm waiting for my husband.

May be the common sense thing is probably have one separate account for such expenditures.

1 Like

Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Ladycewhy(f): 2:42am On Jan 04, 2022
BigBashiru:


If its her life and her choice then it's the man's life and choice too.... the op even try sef... I know a guy that sayit must be 50-50 contribution else he no dey marry. Guys are woke now
Then why is he the one running here to get a pat on the back from misogynistic nitwits? Why all the wailing? She quietly left no fuss, no drama ,ehen? I am sure the reason is because he was expecting her to be desperate enough to hold on as per say man nor many , e shock am say aunty jakpa grin
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by ivolt: 2:43am On Jan 04, 2022
enonche85:

he never said she should spend all her salary on the family. She earns 80k, is 30k too much to contribute?. He earns 300k and will be responsible for house rent, car, all the hard food stuffs, contribute 4x of what he's asking her to bring on their children's education. By the time you do all the calculation of his contribution he will have little or nothing left for himself not forgetting that he may have siblings who are in school that he might be paying tuition fees for.
How did you arrive at 30K?
Perhaps, you think the taste of a 300K earner is the same as that of those on minimum wage.
As your income increase, so does your spending. Her salary cannot even cover some couple's NEPA bill.

She will have 0 Naira at the end of every month.
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by calcal: 2:44am On Jan 04, 2022
OP, don't worry at 50 she will look for you begging for food money for her children from another man grin
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by BigBashiru: 2:45am On Jan 04, 2022
Ladycewhy:
Then why is he the one running here to get a pat on the back from misogynistic nitwits? Why all the wailing? She quietly left no fuss, no drama ,ehen? I am sure the reason is because he was expecting her to be desperate enough to hold on as per say man nor many , e shock am say aunty jakpa grin

U are right but that's because the op isn't red pilled and still believes in love etc. Redpilled men keep ag least 250 women (wives and girlfriends) at any given point in time and so care less.... but ur right.

1 Like

Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by seunfly: 2:47am On Jan 04, 2022
FBS:
@OP

Marriage is a language only few can truly speak so there are no right or wrong answers. '

However, you do have 2 options

1. Make YOUR plan work FOR YOU

or

2. FIND someone to work on "YOUR" plan with and make it work FOR BOTH OF YOU.

If someone is not committed to sacrifice some of what they have, it is likely they are not committed in sacrificing anything at all.

My 2 shile.

Very good bro.
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Ladycewhy(f): 2:49am On Jan 04, 2022
BigBashiru:


U are right but that's because the op isn't red pilled and still believes in love etc. Redpilled men keep ag least 250 women at any given point in time and so care less.... but ur right.
lol ,this kind one wey tight hand no fit even keep two women at a time?

If the lady wasn't good, someone full of himself like the op will not even think of wifing her. E just shock am say as she good reach she nor take e employee deal grin grin,even some employees dey get better deal sef.

Las las the op fit see woman wey go accept e proposal out of desperation and go change am for am after marriage grin the karma go too sweet.
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Kaybex007(m): 2:49am On Jan 04, 2022
I've read some comments where people wrote that the salary is too small for such expenses. Let's look at it this way, what if the man looses his job and couldn't find one for more than a year, won't she take care of the house with the 80k you call little. I know a wealthy old man whom I thought with his his level of wealth and connection, he should be the only financier of the family, to the greatest shock of my life someone close to him told me he had an agreement with his wife which was, I take care of anything that has to do with the kids while you take care of every other thing about the family and now all the kids are graduates. I also had a street sister whose husband lost his job for over a year and was the bread winner throughout the period. What I expect ladies to pray for is a man who is hardworking, and most importantly appreciates what the lady's contributions, nothing is too big for one's family.

Hope we all haven't forgotten the story of a mam who sent his wife packing all because he saw 3milion naira in his wife account and their child died of sickness which they needed 25k. this all happened because the wife was thinking "my husband should be able to get this money, afterall he is the head of the family", now the child is dead and the husband sent her packing.

Some might say I'm saying this because I'm a man but it's not, even if we are willing to dodge from this the economic situation we find ourselves today will prompt us, back in the days our elders will say why are they working if not for their children, so that their children can return the care to them when they are old same way.

Another instance was when my dad had a surgery and couldn't work for a year and some months, whose money do you think was being spent on the house throughout that period, it was my mum's money.

Nothing is too much to contribute in our marriage, what matters is having a partner who values all our efforts.

Peace be unto everyone.

3 Likes

Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by LesbianBoy(m): 2:56am On Jan 04, 2022
123readygo:
Hmmmmmm
Your tactless manner of presenting the issue made the lady to runaway....
In my own case, I refused to even know how much my wife was earning before our marriage. Till date, I don't know how much she has and I don't care how she spends her money. I take care of all the expenses in the house including buying a car for her, fueling and maintaining it. The only time I requested for money from her was when I was undergoing two projects simultaneously and at a point I ran out of cash. She gave me 2m and I told her that I'll pay her back with interest and she was very much excited. But the next day she talked anyhow and I transferred back the money to her and collected loan from somewhere else...
I don't like taking shit from anybody including my wife, so I see no reason why someone earning over 3m per annum should be asking his wife to devote 65% of her earnings to running a home.
It is a man's responsibility to take care of his home, the woman is only there as a helper not a family 'co-runner'!!

I hope when it comes to your wife responsibilities she doesn't bring up the "this is the 21st century" talk o.
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Wazobia2216: 2:57am On Jan 04, 2022
seunfly:

What do u mean by child bearing?

I wants to know because I don't want to assume.
Carry belle nah
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by seunfly: 3:01am On Jan 04, 2022
Wazobia2216:

Carry belle nah
Lol

I don tire jare.
grin grin grin grin grin
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Nobody: 3:03am On Jan 04, 2022
bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?


I would run away too sad
She should have no responsibilities. She is a lady! angry
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by FBS: 3:07am On Jan 04, 2022
Wazobia2216:

Carry belle nah
Do you get and remain pregnant forever?
Are men BIOLOGICALLY capable of getting pregnant?
Is pregnancy not a blessing ?
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by FBS: 3:09am On Jan 04, 2022
JusCuri0us:


I would run away too sad
She should have no responsibilities. She is a lady! angry
Please explain? cheesy

What is she in the relationship for?
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Wazobia2216: 3:11am On Jan 04, 2022
FBS:

Do you get and remain pregnant forever?
Are men BIOLOGICALLY capable of getting pregnant?
Is pregnancy not a blessing ?
So you admit that there's something a woman can do that you cannot do!

Enter labour room and witness what these women go through still comes out to love and serve you and tell me if OP is reasonable!
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Nobody: 3:14am On Jan 04, 2022
FBS:

Please explain? cheesy

What is she in the relationship for?

Real men spoil their women cool
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by pompeiimagnus: 3:15am On Jan 04, 2022
JusCuri0us:


I would run away too sad
She should have no responsibilities. She is a lady! angry

Lmao….na you finish work abeg!
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by FBS: 3:17am On Jan 04, 2022
Wazobia2216:

So you admit that there's something a woman can do that you cannot do!

Enter labour room and witness what these women go through still comes out to love and serve you and tell me if OP is reasonable!
How do you know that I have not been in a labour room multiple times?

This is strictly biology to a larger extent. You have done nothing to be a woman, on the contrary, you were born a woman and blessed to be able to carry a pregnancy.

Now if you say children upbringing, then both parties have a role to play but what does have to do with OP's plan in your context of carrying belle?

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