₦airaland Forum

GraciousGod190:
A Church member invited the masses to his mother's burial ceremony last week Sunday, today when I got there I had to look for his own canopy..to my surprise they were just few persons sitting on his canopy with lots of chairs vacant.

and I came late o, we talking about after 2.48pm

His siblings canopies were filled to the brim, even his uncle's canopies were filled up that they were even coming to collect chairs from his own canopies to theirs for their respective guest. (this guy is the second to senior) I could see the embarrassment on this man face... he was just quiet and moody.

Food he cooked was surplus, nobody to give after sharing for we the church members that came..he had to even give us extra takeaway home because we didn't pass 10...still they are still enough leftovers.

While I was coming home one of the member from the church a very good friend of mine gave me a lift, then he told me Alex...you see why you need to dey mingle with people all around so that when you want to do things people will come.

You can't just put your full mind for people in church or family members...they disappoint you.

As you go people own, na so people go like come your own.

it really touched me, because I might even be worst than this guy, I hardly go out in the day....I don't have friends.. nobody to invite me to party... people in my street don't even know my name..This is really bad I need to change.

So introverts how do you handle stuffs when it comes to parties like this that you can't bypass? With all eyes watching...

How is this a problem? At my wedding I only had 8 invited people, another 4 was sent by my church, and one gave all the way from PH to Lagos uninvited.

And we had over 800 people in advance. Such things don't move some of us, my wedding was the first wedding I attended in my life and I was 30 when I got married.

Not moved one bit.

So what you're trying to tell us now is that instead of you people focusing on giving the guy's mother a glorious farewell, y'all were busily engaged in a popularity contest. Anyways, those 10 people that showed up for him may be worth more than the 100 people that just came to eat rice under the other canopies. Also, focus on the woman being buried not who come for burial abi who no come.

Some people are so private even the people that know them don't know them
No one can fight nature if you're an outspoken person good for you...no change am because of anybody
If you derive strength from being alone....no matter the yabbing no try change cos you'll end up embarrassing yourself

To my fellow introverts in this forum may God give us the strength to stay silent and violent

Ishilove:
Lesson learned. Me wey dey avoid mingling, I really gats to start mingling with people and not turn to an Island

If people don’t come, will that stop you from burring the dead? NO! So it don’t matter if people show up or not

Dis almost happened during my wedding if nt for my parents n in-laws. My husband n I were both introverted beings.

Church should be the last people to expect to turn up for you tho.Time and time again ,the so called brothers and sisters in Christ have prove that they don't have each other's back. I would rather join a club than put my hope on church members.

So for introverts, join a club that doubles as osusu ,so that when the time comes they will have your back. Before you add club people and people you know here and there, canopy don full.

GraciousGod190:
A Church member invited the masses to his mother's burial ceremony last week Sunday, today when I got there I had to look for his own canopy..to my surprise they were just few persons sitting on his canopy with lots of chairs vacant.

and I came late o, we talking about after 2.48pm

His siblings canopies were filled to the brim, even his uncle's canopies were filled up that they were even coming to collect chairs from his own canopies to theirs for their respective guest. (this guy is the second to senior) I could see the embarrassment on this man face... he was just quiet and moody.

Food he cooked was surplus, nobody to give after sharing for we the church members that came..he had to even give us extra takeaway home because we didn't pass 10...still they are still enough leftovers.

While I was coming home one of the member from the church a very good friend of mine gave me a lift, then he told me Alex...you see why you need to dey mingle with people all around so that when you want to do things people will come.

You can't just put your full mind for people in church or family members...they disappoint you.

As you go people own, na so people go like come your own.

it really touched me, because I might even be worst than this guy, I hardly go out in the day....I don't have friends.. nobody to invite me to party... people in my street don't even know my name..This is really bad I need to change.

So introverts how do you handle stuffs when it comes to parties like this that you can't bypass? With all eyes watching...

For natural introverted people, this is not an issue
In fact, real introverts would love to have weddings, funeral or other ceremonies with very few people in attendance.

Let me tel u all a story. I am the very introverted type of person. But each time i have an ocasion and i invite my frnds , they all answer me. Some go carry their frnd follow body they have that confidence that every 1 wil go home happy at the end of the day. it depends on hw u treat people ? Im the type who is kind to all i invest in people and relationship. if u are my frnd u must benefit something, no strings attached, just my lifstyl. so it depends on how u treat people around u. its good u treat everyone fairly

If they like let nobody come, dead body will smell and chase everybody away from the neighbourhood.

KiNg0G:
but bros on a normal you still got to think your life.
majority of people here, haven't been in the op shoe.

if you like follow them na you know...

Nah! I'm good bro. I'm an introvert, but I got mah own clique, people who have come to accept me for who I am. So, if I got any ish today, the right amount of of people I want will turn up

GraciousGod190:
A Church member invited the masses to his mother's burial ceremony last week Sunday, today when I got there I had to look for his own canopy..to my surprise they were just few persons sitting on his canopy with lots of chairs vacant.

and I came late o, we talking about after 2.48pm

His siblings canopies were filled to the brim, even his uncle's canopies were filled up that they were even coming to collect chairs from his own canopies to theirs for their respective guest. (this guy is the second to senior) I could see the embarrassment on this man face... he was just quiet and moody.

Food he cooked was surplus, nobody to give after sharing for we the church members that came..he had to even give us extra takeaway home because we didn't pass 10...still they are still enough leftovers.

While I was coming home one of the member from the church a very good friend of mine gave me a lift, then he told me Alex...you see why you need to dey mingle with people all around so that when you want to do things people will come.

You can't just put your full mind for people in church or family members...they disappoint you.

As you go people own, na so people go like come your own.

it really touched me, because I might even be worst than this guy, I hardly go out in the day....I don't have friends.. nobody to invite me to party... people in my street don't even know my name..This is really bad I need to change.

So introverts how do you handle stuffs when it comes to parties like this that you can't bypass? With all eyes watching...

The only person who overdo here is your church member, he over estimated the coming of people he never really had a solid relationship with. And for you, there are many private burials, you can always do what is right according to your own principle and not to satisfy humans who will forget after few days. No be you kill the dead wey them wan bury.

Collinsaik:
Let me tel u all a story. I am the very introverted type of person. But each time i have an ocasion and i invite my frnds , they all answer me. Some go carry their frnd follow body they have that confidence that every 1 wil go home happy at the end of the day. it depends on hw u treat people ? Im the type who is kind to all i invest in people and relationship. if u are my frnd u must benefit something, no strings attached, just my lifstyl. so it depends on how u treat people around u. its good u treat everyone fairly

One can do all that and still not have the mind of having crowds around for any type of party even when he or she is sure of full attendance. So to me PP had nothing to worry about, he should just invite people with word of mouth and not bother printing cards. I for once never even attended burial for once in my life, and I told a female friend in school then instantly I was not going to her grandpa's burial because it was not my thing, just last month she had to beg me to come to her wedding, she married our course mate, and I told her I will be there and she was like are you sure?

GraciousGod190:
A Church member invited the masses to his mother's burial ceremony last week Sunday, today when I got there I had to look for his own canopy..to my surprise they were just few persons sitting on his canopy with lots of chairs vacant.

and I came late o, we talking about after 2.48pm

His siblings canopies were filled to the brim, even his uncle's canopies were filled up that they were even coming to collect chairs from his own canopies to theirs for their respective guest. (this guy is the second to senior) I could see the embarrassment on this man face... he was just quiet and moody.

Food he cooked was surplus, nobody to give after sharing for we the church members that came..he had to even give us extra takeaway home because we didn't pass 10...still they are still enough leftovers.

While I was coming home one of the member from the church a very good friend of mine gave me a lift, then he told me Alex...you see why you need to dey mingle with people all around so that when you want to do things people will come.

You can't just put your full mind for people in church or family members...they disappoint you.

As you go people own, na so people go like come your own.

it really touched me, because I might even be worst than this guy, I hardly go out in the day....I don't have friends.. nobody to invite me to party... people in my street don't even know my name..This is really bad I need to change.

So introverts how do you handle stuffs when it comes to parties like this that you can't bypass? With all eyes watching...

How active is he in the church? What department doesn't he belong too. How often does he attend other people's event or send them money when he can't?

After i finish reading the book wey dem call, the subtle art of not giving a Bleep by mark manson,my life come change for better. I no get pass three friends (apart from mouth friends),but the way e be, e just dey like say i get three hundred friends, based on how they take dey carry my matter for head and as i take dey carry their matter for head.For hood (street) if you no reason me, i no reason you, if you give me gbege, i double the gbege for you, if you like me, me self go like you.
I no been know say people even know me for street until me with one police man fight for street. People wey i no expect, na them come carry my fight, still wan beat the police man on top.
The point wey me dey try give be sey, "real people ( not hypocrites) will value you for been real".

Wawelexy:
Just like me.... But I don't care, ain't changing my attitude for parties.... Shebi na person wet invite them go disappoint... I can come to that party(yeah my mum's burial), stay for 20minutes, and then leave...

You nailed it!

GraciousGod190:
A Church member invited the masses to his mother's burial ceremony last week Sunday, today when I got there I had to look for his own canopy..to my surprise they were just few persons sitting on his canopy with lots of chairs vacant.

and I came late o, we talking about after 2.48pm

His siblings canopies were filled to the brim, even his uncle's canopies were filled up that they were even coming to collect chairs from his own canopies to theirs for their respective guest. (this guy is the second to senior) I could see the embarrassment on this man face... he was just quiet and moody.

Food he cooked was surplus, nobody to give after sharing for we the church members that came..he had to even give us extra takeaway home because we didn't pass 10...still they are still enough leftovers.

While I was coming home one of the member from the church a very good friend of mine gave me a lift, then he told me Alex...you see why you need to dey mingle with people all around so that when you want to do things people will come.

You can't just put your full mind for people in church or family members...they disappoint you.

As you go people own, na so people go like come your own.

it really touched me, because I might even be worst than this guy, I hardly go out in the day....I don't have friends.. nobody to invite me to party... people in my street don't even know my name..This is really bad I need to change.

So introverts how do you handle stuffs when it comes to parties like this that you can't bypass? With all eyes watching...

the truth is that some of diz religious fanatics(born again) do denounce their kingsmen, dey make their Church members their brethren. It's also happening in my area, few of them willfully ostracized themselves from us. Imagine, making urself an outcast. Tufiakwa!!! There was joy dis past December meeting wen a guy who sheepishly followed his father in2 dis nonsense came back to join his kingsmen. D young man has attained evaluative stage nd did d needful, his papa has been fuming up n down cos of dis development.

UzomaFC:
I like staying alone oooooooooooo, at least it has saved me so many troubles.
My wife at times will be talking and I will be looking at her, well she knows me very wella.
We are 12years this year and we don't go out.

This year marked my 19yrs at my work place.
these are my stats:
Company Party: 2
Company Bar: 2
Weddings: 0
Burial: 1
Birthday party: 1
Others: 0

Even were I work, they know me that Igwe does not go out. but funny enough when they needed someone to represent them,
they will call me.
My own is Work/Church and nothing.
I don't even like staying in crowd talk more of inviting anyone, Nna men the lower or fewer the better for me.
Low headache, low troubles to attend to, infact low everything.
infact if I have my way, I will just go inside the forest and build and live there.

like me.

tommy589:
Well, your nature as an introvert won't stop people coming to your party if you are a kind person

Mostly its not about being kind for some people, they can send you money to reciprocate your kindness and still choose not to go aimply because you have never graced theirs.

BENCHOKCONSULT:
The issue might not be mingling alone. Did you know some churches will not allow their members attend a late members burial simply because she has not fully registered and made regular class dues, women or men's association payments? Did you know some churches won't allow their members attend a late members burial if she is not a registered member? Now the issue is that even if you have been attending a church for 20 years, so long as you have not registered as a member and recognized by others as a registered member and you die, none of them will attend your burial

That I am trying to say is that even if the guy doesn't mingle with everybody but for the fact that his mom was a member of a particular church, his own canopy shouldnt have been that empty.

I am on this table, yesterday, today and tomorrow, for forever I can't say if I will change.
In school, the fellowship I attended the only people that knew me were my roommate, and two to three people that got to know me through my roommate and the roommate of a course mate of mine. One convocation like that, they had tent and asked us to come for refreshment, that my coursemate roommate was the reason we had to go and I was not known, me I no kukuma bother, it was the guy that now spoke for me and insisted I was a member.

GraciousGod190:
A Church member invited the masses to his mother's burial ceremony last week Sunday, today when I got there I had to look for his own canopy..to my surprise they were just few persons sitting on his canopy with lots of chairs vacant.

and I came late o, we talking about after 2.48pm

His siblings canopies were filled to the brim, even his uncle's canopies were filled up that they were even coming to collect chairs from his own canopies to theirs for their respective guest. (this guy is the second to senior) I could see the embarrassment on this man face... he was just quiet and moody.

Food he cooked was surplus, nobody to give after sharing for we the church members that came..he had to even give us extra takeaway home because we didn't pass 10...still they are still enough leftovers.

While I was coming home one of the member from the church a very good friend of mine gave me a lift, then he told me Alex...you see why you need to dey mingle with people all around so that when you want to do things people will come.

You can't just put your full mind for people in church or family members...they disappoint you.

As you go people own, na so people go like come your own.

it really touched me, because I might even be worst than this guy, I hardly go out in the day....I don't have friends.. nobody to invite me to party... people in my street don't even know my name..This is really bad I need to change.

So introverts how do you handle stuffs when it comes to parties like this that you can't bypass? With all eyes watching...

Oga your own is story
Hustle; leave to mingle, with money you can hire/rent a crowd for your program
My gee rented a crowd of 50 persons but na 75 turn up

When he knows he doest really have people, why taking a tent? I will just share tent with one of my siblings. Na introvert i be, i no kill anybody

Klass99:
You will be a very good somebori to run things with . You are private, you come across as coded and someone who likes to keep things on the down low.



Always the sensible guy. But, what are these 1001 ways to bury the dead? Abeg spill o.



Ishi this thing no be by force o, so long as you are kind and interact well with people at all levels, regardless of their status (e.g. cleaners, security guards, CEO) you will be alright in this life and like Acid said, you don't need a crowd to bury the dead.

I like quality over quantity, if I have to bury my dead I will be more focused on getting that business out of the way and moving on with my life. While earnestly hoping my dead made heaven, if one or two friends show up I will be grateful, always holding them dear to my heart.

But, their presence, the food, grandeur and fanfare activities around the funeral, will not change the final destination of the departed. Nothing we do after a person passes, matters as much as when they were alive or where they end up.

That's why I love that song celebrate me, now wey I dey alive. The song is one of the reasons I continuously give money to a relative, even after saying I won't. At the back of my mind I keep thinking, this money she is asking for, that you don't want to give her. If she kpoof now, you'll end up spending more money to bury her, than what she asked for.......so just give her and do extra.

Over matured view, kudos

izzou:
[color=royalblue]Lol.

Personally, I won't let anybody emotional trap me into their lifestyles.

I am not the party and events attending guy. When I have an occasion, I don't even want any crowd to attend. The few people I'll invite would show up. That's enough.

I don't even understand the sense in having separate canopies, but that's another issue for another day.

If you don't like it, don't bend because of societal pressures.

Real friends are those who show up in days of trouble, not in attending parties[/color]

You deserve a trophy for saying this. Even mingling might not guarantee people coming to your event. You advise your self in life and do what your convinced is best for you. The nature of your job, might not even permit you to meet people regularly.

I am just like that guy. I don't have many friends and hardly go to social gatherings because of my shy/private nature......I don't like noise.


But I trust my mum, she is a very popular woman. Everytime she celebrates her birthday even people she didn't invite would come and the whole compound will be filled to capacity..... Early this year I told her that my marriage would be private and she almost killed me with her eyes. I could feel the anger with the way she looked at me .

I cannot be embarrassed like that guy, if my friends don't show up at my party my mum got me covered.......Even if na 10 luxury buses e nor go reach carry people wey she know.

MufasaLion:
Nigerians like noise and unnecessary stress. They like doing things and brag about it later on. Some don't even care about taking care of the old parents but are quick to make the funeral the talk of the town. Shitty people!

Very shitty people

Klass99:
You will be a very good somebori to run things with . You are private, you come across as coded and someone who likes to keep things on the down low.



Always the sensible guy. But, what are these 1001 ways to bury the dead? Abeg spill o.



Ishi this thing no be by force o, so long as you are kind and interact well with people at all levels, regardless of their status (e.g. cleaners, security guards, CEO) you will be alright in this life and like Acid said, you don't need a crowd to bury the dead.

I like quality over quantity, if I have to bury my dead I will be more focused on getting that business out of the way and moving on with my life. While earnestly hoping my dead made heaven, if one or two friends show up I will be grateful, always holding them dear to my heart.

But, their presence, the food, grandeur and fanfare activities around the funeral, will not change the final destination of the departed. Nothing we do after a person passes, matters as much as when they were alive or where they end up.

That's why I love that song celebrate me, now wey I dey alive. The song is one of the reasons I continuously give money to a relative, even after saying I won't. At the back of my mind I keep thinking, this money she is asking for, that you don't want to give her. If she kpoof now, you'll end up spending more money to bury her, than what she asked for.......so just give her and do extra.

Bro you are a wonderful soul. Keep been nice

cayorday89:
I am on this table, yesterday, today and tomorrow, for forever I can't say if I will change.
In school, the fellowship I attended the only people that knew me were my roommate, and two to three people that got to know me through my roommate and the roommate of a course mate of mine. One convocation like that, they had tent and asked us to come for refreshment, that my coursemate roommate was the reason we had to go and I was not known, me I no kukuma bother, it was the guy that now spoke for me and insisted I was a member.

E shock you? That's the system here especially if you are a Christian..it goes goes down to wedding ceremonies

Acidosis:
The whole idea of separating canopies is senseless and invalidates whatever sort of love you all claim to share. All I see is fake love, insecurities, show-off, Etc. By the way, why do you need the crowd for grandma's burial? Are you going to bury some of them along with Grandma?

Rather than play along , make things go your way. There are 1001 ways to bury the dead.

You are probably just seein things from a narrow point of view, since its not a hall they rented, invites are bound to be sitted scatter under multiple canopies, if you had consider personality differs you will understand why people personalize table & canopy, my kind of guest might not be your kind of guest, imagine church invitees sitting on table where heinekein, glenfiddich fills the table, regardless of how you feel, class applies and you can't tell me what you will do for close clique is the same you will for mo gbo mo yaa.
If i am coming to your party as a close friend i expect preferential treatment buh not on same table with strangers ..@least lets not rub it in

cayorday89:
Mostly its not about being kind for some people, they can send you money to reciprocate your kindness and still choose not to go aimply because you have never graced theirs.

You are right about this,but life comes with surprises. I don't go to parties even if it is in the next building to mine, but I was surprised during my father's burial to see people I did not invite crossed states to be part of it.

OmoEsan:
I feel say na only me see that part.

I imagined it playing out and laugh almost kill me. You know Nigerians now, they will apologize first, then go on to take as many as possible. Subsequently they wouldn’t even take permission, they go just carry the chair move.

MufasaLion:
Nigerians like noise and unnecessary stress. They like doing things and brag about it later on. Some don't even care about taking care of the old parents but are quick to make the funeral the talk of the town. Shitty people!

very shitty, double faced and attention seeking. Prefers spending lavishly to bury the dead they were stingy to when they were alive