₦airaland Forum

@Lord_Of_Saarl tweeted;

Signs to know you have entered an overpriced restaurant.

1. Waiter:

If the waiters are dressing better than you or you are wearing same waistcoat as waiter.

No run you hear! Dey there dey open ur mouth down waaa

2. Menu:

Menu is different from brochure. If the menu is laminated you can even curse the manager but if you see menu wey look like office journal hardcover with no pricing you are “Dead”

You do what? You RAAAN

3. Music:

Please if the restaurant is playing Frank Sinatra or Jazz or even Violin you made a mistake.

If it’s African hits...still be careful.
⚠️ If you hear Sade Adu or Fela in the background.

Just go and be washing plate.

4. Temperature:

If the room is freezing cold like abroad airport especially when you can’t see where the cold is coming from....they are about to use you to pay the restaurant tax.

It’s a trick to cool you down

The Colder the Colder.....

5. Lighting:

I don’t need to explain too much. You see Chandelier hanging over you with gold light...you don enter museum.

You still dey follow waiter talk... OK

6. Customers:

Check well oo. Look at what the men are wearing to gauge..not the ladies..the men!!

You see man wearing shoe you still dey sit well...OK

No offense but if you see Mumbai people or Chinese be calm.

If it’s Lebanese or actual americans/whites you are finished.

7. Car Park:

Bro a Ferrari or Gwagon are littered everywhere and security (that is dressing like paramilitary) is checking your booth before they scan your Iris before you enter.

If the car park is a building. Reverse go to mama cass.

Parking fee is the beginning of your woesss..

8. Mode of Payment:

When the payment option is too much ..I’m not talking of Cash or Atm darling.

“Sir we also take bitcoin” kind of payment..

Dorime! If you no wash I wan know why..

9. Location:

When Google map is excited to even suggest the location...you don mess up.

You are narrowing down search to Lekki,Ikoyi...or serious ikeja you like pain.

You go to Ikeja... Jokes on you!!!

Ajah/Sangotedo is not island ... so you are safe

10. Food Portion:

When the serving is like sample of the food, when they serve you oyster or caviar.

Different size of spoon (when spoon is heavy asf).

11. Miscellaneous:

If you are in this category it’s already late.

12. The Ceiling:

If the ceiling reminds you of the Vatican or there’s one painting hanging around.

If they even get statue and nice background run ooh.

13. The Toilet:

Always check the toilet. If music and AC follow you enter toilet and the flush na button.

Soap to wash hand na Lynx gel .

U better run leave the person wey dey wait for you.

14. Excellent Customer Service:

They send you email appreciating you ...how dem get my email i no know.

“We the Le Varous say a big thank you for your excellent patronage.

We pride ourselves in giving customers the best experience “

Feel free to add yours ❤️❤️

The mama Cass part made me laugh so mad...


Whenever iam in karu... Melvino is where ipass time... After enough marigold we head straight to mama Cass around orange village maraba to place crazy orders...



Modified:; FTC I dedicate this to all those going through whatever heartbreak...

Just take a chill pill and lit some marigold!!!

comrade, why this.. to all depress, peoples..

Mehn I have been there

When the bill come cold catch me

Babe be like""what's it ,
I said nothing

The OP is a comedian o.
Just had a good laugh

The highlighted 'Signs' are so on point.

Just made me remember one restaurant we went to in Abuja. Chai

*Las las, na to cut your coat according to your material be the real deal to avoid many matters

Ekez:
Mehn I have been there

When the bill come cold catch me

Babe be like""what's it ,
I said nothing

Lol, e go be like say make you just see jazz wey go carry you disappear one time....

Ekez:
Mehn I have been there

When the bill come cold catch me

Babe be like""what's it ,
I said nothing

No be you wan please babe?

If you enter restaurant and they direct you to a seat and greet Good Afternoon Sir na expensive place but if you enter restaurant and you hear watin you wan chop

Hahahahahah hahahahahah hahahahahah

Superb man... can't stop laughing

Laughing gradually, laughing continously and aggresive laughter.

Funny thread

Hustle smart and enjoy ur life nothing is expensive than life

That customers own is the real eye opener

Food wey sweet, na better money kill am

Na Una dey yab Twitter as place weh people dey lie.. yet na Una dey carry wetin those liars post dey come nairaland

Very funny
9ice info.

If the restaurant name starts with "le" better run.

If the woman begin chop like this......

[img]https://media1./images/d83bd25fe380409a6366d6f2c8341978/tenor.gif?itemid=15136773[/img]

....your in trouble!

I will never be broke in my life

What the guy above me said

I like local food than all these overrated restaurants, where I eat goat meat and amala with 1.5k

Reminds of my time in kappacida and 805 restaurant in Abuja.

Let me add mine
If they selling ewedu and amala, my brother u don't need to ask d price, just eat
If they selling white soup, oha soup, ofe nsala, my brother abeg better ask d price before u eat, to avoid had I known

Real reasons why a real niggar should hustle and make money

As a real niggar, after making the money and if you must spend... Carry your fellow niggars to these kind of restaurants and spend the money on them. For it is far better to spend on your fellow niggars than to waste that money on a hoe.

I'm just laughing here. You are so on point.

I enter one African restaurant one day, I order Pounded Yam, Vegetable soup, with 2 Goat meat. The food sweet oh, but when them bring bill, I nearly cry.

H

My dear, I entered one today. Imagine a plate of fufu and soup for #500 in this Buhari regime.

I can't laugh..


Why worry yourself when iyabasira is around the corner

Last last plate washer