₦airaland Forum

HarunaWest:
Please do make one last effort. Reach out to his parents or guardian. Implore them to talk to him. If he refuses, kindly pack your slippers and bag move on. I have realized that gamblers are the most terrible people you can find. I know someone that left an 8yr old marriage with 3 kids due to this same gambling. The man almost gambled his wife away. He put her into serious debt running into millions. Many people will advise you to pray, to be patient and all that buh open your head and think about yourself first. Cheers

You see: very annoying lifestyle. How can a man not think of multipling the little he has, Rather, squandering it and returning home empty handed? I will definitely live him.

I was going to ask the usual question here "why didn't you do your due diligence". But then I have discovered that the easiest thing to hide before marriage is addiction/habit. Anyone blaming you is just being unrealistic. You may never know whether your spouse is into drugs, a chronic gambler, a porn addict, or a bisexual. It takes only an app to become a chronic gambler these days. Addictions are mostly things people do in the secret, when they're alone, so how on earth are you going to find out whether your man gambles with money?

The compatibility metric is even useless when it comes to certain issues. For example, no chronic gambler wants to marry another chronic gambler, so chronic gamblers seeking marriage would most likely hide/fake financial discipline or "investments" just to lure a spouse who's probably carried away with money, level of education, good family, or good looks. It's a complex issue.

To the OP, I would only be lying if I tell you that I have a solution. I don't have any. On one hand, I can't advise my sister to remain with a chronic gambler. On the other hand, I think it is too early to have this divorce talks. I mean, your marriage is barely 4 month old. But I hope you find a way around your issues. Maybe it's time to activate your conflict resolution plan. A resolution plan may include "a very good family", "an entity he respects so well, e.g. spiritual fathers", etc. If he has none, then your divorce may be faster than you envisaged.

MALIGNANTGuest:
Is GAMBLING his only problem?

IF it's so then, there are medications you can put in his drink or pap to enable him desist from such without his notice. I don't know if they are available in Nigeria.
We also have the ones for Alcohol addiction.

Yes. That's he's only problem.
What's the medication?

Romanoff:
There is no way she would have noticed it, especially if he's an online gambler. Shey y'all like your privacy and say your partner shouldn't check your phone?

That's why she wouldn't have known.

How would she have been able to track his finances when y'all get defensive when a woman ask y'all money questions?

I'd suggest counselling for both of them, if he's willing to do the work, the marriage can be salvaged.

She must have noticed it, but ignored it, or maybe they didn't date, never thought that their small fling would lead to pregnancy then marriage, the baby was unplanned too.

loosingfaith519:
You see: very annoying lifestyle. How can a man not think of multipling the little he has, Rather, squandering it and returning home empty handed? I will definitely live him.

I strongly predict that it was your pregnancy that made him marry you, if he is truly interesting in raising a family with you, he wouldn't be spending money carelessly knowing he has a family to take care of. I might be wrong though.

loosingfaith519:
My thought too. Thanks

You're welcome.

HarunaWest:
The man when do you this thing,e no go better for am. See bitterness all over your post. Wetin man do you?

How is my comment sounding bitter? O... Now because it's a man, you're trying to hold brief for him, right? Stop being insensitive.

What about the OPs experience with the so called husband? Is it not more bitter?
Can't you see what he's doing to her? A pregnant woman for that matter?. You people should learn to say the truth no matter how bitter.

A man who is not considerate enough to help his pregnant wife doesn't deserve any better. When he doesn't see anyone to cover his shameful acts anymore, sense will fall on him but as long as she's still there carrying his burden and financial responsibilities, he'll never get his acts together.

It's this kind of mentality you have that, any woman who speaks up against a man's incompetence is "bitter" that is making some men refuse to change and lead a more responsible life.
That "if she can't clean my mess, then shes not a wife material" kinda mentality should be erased.
You men should learn to clean up your mess yourself. Ain't no body gat time to be babysitting a grown ass man.

Buzz off!

BrickDevo:
I strongly predict that it was your pregnancy that made him marry you, if he is truly interesting in raising a family with you, he wouldn't be spending money carelessly knowing he has a family to take care of. I might be wrong though.

Your prediction is wrong. You didn't read well. I stated in my post that we planned. It shows the pregnancy was planned as well. Read right before you comment next time.

BrickDevo:
She must have noticed it, but ignored it, or maybe they didn't date, never thought that their small fling would lead to pregnancy then marriage, the baby was unplanned too.

You aren't reading well. I never mentioned the pregnancy was not planned.
And I wasn't pregnant before marriage.

BrickDevo:
I strongly predict that it was your pregnancy that made him marry you, if he is truly interesting in raising a family with you, he wouldn't be spending money carelessly knowing he has a family to take care of. I might be wrong though.

Oga, I wasn't pregnant before I got married.
Your prediction is wrong

loosingfaith519:
Oga, I wasn't pregnant before I got married.
Your prediction is wrong

.
okay,wishing you the best

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

.

Sharp sharp divorce... How you didn't notice during dating speaks loud volume
However you better stay in the marriage till you give birth, after that you will have a clearer view of what exactly you can do.....

All he needs is prayer, pray for him always and give him reasons to know how chronic gambling is,..... I stopped gambling myself knowing it has never favoured me

Aufbauh:
Sorry to say this, it seems you're not really matured for marriage.

Seeing this deficiency in your partner Just one year into your marriage and you're already fed up with the marriage. Haba!
If he was your blood brother would you have given up on him so quickly?

He might be doing this with the intention of hitting it big for the family even though you perceived it differently.
Sit down with him & advice him tactically or make an alternative investment suggestion to him that will take his attention off the online gambling.

Come on!

Do you build a life and welcome a baby into life with your brother or sister?

From the look of things the OP will be the one funding both her baby and her husband soon. Would you eish such a life on your own sister?

Mercychen:
That is why they are always looking for a working class lady who can bring to the table so they can continue gambling and spending their own money recklessly. You better dump his ass.

You don't need to go through all that stress of divorcing him because that will drain you mentally and physically except you plan to remarry which is not advisable as most of them are the same. So, just secretly get a place for yourself and unborn child and leave him without warning, before you lose your sanity.

When he's ready to leave the singlehood lifestyle and become a responsible husband, he can come for his family. Otherwise, forget about him. Life is too sweet to let one person keep you in sorrow all the days of your life.

Marriage is overhypped, especially in this generation of overgrown babies in men's skin.

Says an unmarried E Newspaper. She should leave without notice so you can take her place right?

AntiTerrorists:
you didn't tell us whether you are pregnant or not


If no, I feel that's your reason..but you just don't want to say

She clearly said she is pregnant.

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

try to talk to him, divorce is not the solution

Mercychen:
That is why they are always looking for a working class lady who can bring to the table so they can continue gambling and spending their own money recklessly. You better dump his ass.

You don't need to go through all that stress of divorcing him because that will drain you mentally and physically except you plan to remarry which is not advisable as most of them are the same. So, just secretly get a place for yourself and unborn child and leave him without warning, before you lose your sanity.

When he's ready to leave the singlehood lifestyle and become a responsible husband, he can come for his family. Otherwise, forget about him. Life is too sweet to let one person keep you in sorrow all the days of your life.

Marriage is overhypped, especially in this generation of overgrown babies in men's skin.

Advise from probably an evening newspaper. LMAO

Give him an ultimatum, expecting him to stop overnight is unrealistic

If you love him, have a conversation with him and you both can agree for him to spend a particular amount every month on his habit till he over comes it

If all this doesn't work then you can consider divorce

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

Why not try joint account of which you LL be signatory to the account. Both of you must drop into the account monthly before even doing other things with your salary. If this didn't work, you can go ahead and divorce him anyhow you like

Mercychen:
That is why they are always looking for a working class lady who can bring to the table so they can continue gambling and spending their own money recklessly. You better dump his ass.

You don't need to go through all that stress of divorcing him because that will drain you mentally and physically except you plan to remarry which is not advisable as most of them are the same. So, just secretly get a place for yourself and unborn child and leave him without warning, before you lose your sanity.

When he's ready to leave the singlehood lifestyle and become a responsible husband, he can come for his family. Otherwise, forget about him. Life is too sweet to let one person keep you in sorrow all the days of your life.

Marriage is overhypped, especially in this generation of overgrown babies in men's skin.

And if the man doesnt come back for his family? you are downplaying the part that the man can get remarry and get a family elsewhere, so if that happens she should wallow in single motherhood? you know how that would affevt the baby still in her womb right?
fyi you are a f**lish advisor

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

Just wait till you give birth, your hormones right now might be exerggerating things in your mind.

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

Continue to let him know what he's doing in a modest may. He can change. Counselling is one good way out. Manage the present accommodation for now till you sort things out. Avoid pressure so you don't make mistake. At least he's not violent. That's a good husband. All other things can be sorted out. Remain blessed.

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

heya

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

Continue to let him know what he's doing in a modest may. He can change. Counselling is one good way out. Manage the present accommodation for now till you sort things out. Avoid pressure so you don't make mistake. At least he's not violent. That's a good husband. All other things can be sorted out. Remain blessed.

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

How come you didn't notice this before you married him? Didn't you guys date? Didn't you plan and save for the wedding?

If u are married to a gambler...sorry to say this,u the woman will lose tremendously and shamefully.

Had u not gotten pregnant,it would have been easy but with a baby coming soon,it would be real hard to go it alone.

Your mistake is not knowing who exactly u married,too bad.

This shows that the man is indeed irresponsible. With a woman willing and able to help,what sorts of men do we have these days?

loosingfaith519:
Oga, I wasn't pregnant before I got married.
Your prediction is wrong

Now to confirm my Versatility & professional know-how.... I will give you the name of a drug that can induce gambling.. (Pro-gambling drug)
You will look it up online and get back to me immediately.
Thereafter, I will give you a detailed approach of how to combat such.
Are we good to go?

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

I will not advice you to divorce him ,maybe God brought you to his life to help him change and be a better husband.marriage is not easy it is like a gift wrapped with foil when u unwrapped anything you see deal with it.pls my dear sister don't run away stay with your husband and help him stop his bad habit.

I don't pity women. There was a better guy toasting you and you rejected. You chose your present husband with clear eye. Now you are bringing your issues to us after 4 months. Abeg fight your own battles, Ukraine is fighting theirs.

The comments on this thread sha .hmmmmmmmmmmm.

OP may you not experience pregnancy induced high blood pressure .That is my prayer for you.