₦airaland Forum

MamiTer:
Hello good people of nairaland, I have a pressing issue and I really need your help.

A couple of years back I broke up with my boyfriend whom I really loved due to distance barriers. Getting over him was difficult for me so I had to go into a relationship with one of my toasters in order to get him off my mind.

I achieved my aim after a couple of months but the current guy was unwilling to let go, I didn't love him and couldn't get myself to love him despite trying to. I know I was selfish and opened up to him but he insisted that I would warm up to him with time and grow to love him.

The relationship was far from perfect, I was in it solely for what I benefited but we weren't compatible and it was from one issue to another. We were always at logger heads all the time. He insults me and my family at any given opportunity and talks down on me using secrets I shared with him as leverage each time we quarrel. He shredded my self-esteem.

He was insecure and attacked my male friends at any given opportunity including my lecturers, he would access my social media accounts and send derogatory message to any male contact he feels is making a pass at me.
All these attitudes made me fed up with him and I decided to breakup for good.

Early this year I met a guy online and somehow we vibed together quickly, we met physically for the first time and it felt like we've known for ages. Everything moved so quickly with this new guy that I started developing serious feelings for him. I was scared because I never knew I would feel something like that again after I broke up with my other ex.

This new guy makes me happy and treats me like a woman, anytime spent with him is always memorable and I don't feel like leaving. The chemistry that we share is super strong and everything seems so perfect.

Now to my issue, this new guy is a fresh graduate and not yet stable, I don't have issues with his financial status because he made me realize a Lady can actually be happy without money being thrown at her. But I'm still scared of going all full into the relationship he might go for service and never come back to me. I don't just want a repeat of my previous relationship that got shattered after my ex relocated.

On the other hand, the other guy is hell bent on getting me back, he's been pleading and sending people to beg me even though I told him I've moved on and has even had sex with the new guy but he still wants me back.

I'm confused and don't know what to do, my heart is with the new guy but the other guy is making things so difficult for me and almost driving me insane. Can I still grow to love him?? Though I've been unable to after almost a year.

Should move on with the new guy?? I've known him for barely two months but it seems I've known him for ages, my feelings are exploding and I can hardly control them which is making me scared.

I'm sorry for the long epistle but I had to let it all out.
Please advice me.

tomzyELNINO:
OGBENI, FACE YOUR LIFE AND MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF LIFE INSTEAD OF INVESTING YOUR DESTINY ON BOYFRIENDS. DONT YOU HAVE ANY GOAL AND DREAMS IN LIFE OTHER THAN BOYFRIENDS?

SHIOORRR

PrimadonnaO:
Dear young woman...

A lot of these things happening now are things you'll look back on and wish you had known better. But maybe even now you can make the right decision for yourself so you have very minimal regrets moving forward.

First, you have to decisively close all doors that lead back to your two exes. Maybe the first guy is still a great guy, but that ship long sailed, why you still pining? The distance still exists so why you still pining? And for the second ex, he's a total toxic and unsuitable partner. Why exactly is he still on your mind?

For this new guy, you seem to have moved a little too quickly. How old are you? This sex thing is a menace. I know it may sound old-school, but if celibacy isn't a thing for you, then at least don't have sex too quickly. Moving on, give the relationship enough time to stand on its merits before allowing sex in the midst.

This two months of excitement may become an illusion because it's still too early to tell. You're already foreseeing challenges. And I also foresee them, too.

Young boys still trying to find their feet have little guarantees to give.

But you're in it, so you might as well enjoy it. Let go of your worries. It may turn out well at the end of the day.

*******
Again, let go of those exes. COMPLETELY!

MamiTer:
Hello good people of nairaland, I have a pressing issue and I really need your help.

A couple of years back I broke up with my boyfriend whom I really loved due to distance barriers. Getting over him was difficult for me so I had to go into a relationship with one of my toasters in order to get him off my mind.

I achieved my aim after a couple of months but the current guy was unwilling to let go, I didn't love him and couldn't get myself to love him despite trying to. I know I was selfish and opened up to him but he insisted that I would warm up to him with time and grow to love him.

The relationship was far from perfect, I was in it solely for what I benefited but we weren't compatible and it was from one issue to another. We were always at logger heads all the time. He insults me and my family at any given opportunity and talks down on me using secrets I shared with him as leverage each time we quarrel. He shredded my self-esteem.

He was insecure and attacked my male friends at any given opportunity including my lecturers, he would access my social media accounts and send derogatory message to any male contact he feels is making a pass at me.
All these attitudes made me fed up with him and I decided to breakup for good.

Early this year I met a guy online and somehow we vibed together quickly, we met physically for the first time and it felt like we've known for ages. Everything moved so quickly with this new guy that I started developing serious feelings for him. I was scared because I never knew I would feel something like that again after I broke up with my other ex.

This new guy makes me happy and treats me like a woman, anytime spent with him is always memorable and I don't feel like leaving. The chemistry that we share is super strong and everything seems so perfect.

Now to my issue, this new guy is a fresh graduate and not yet stable, I don't have issues with his financial status because he made me realize a Lady can actually be happy without money being thrown at her. But I'm still scared of going all full into the relationship he might go for service and never come back to me. I don't just want a repeat of my previous relationship that got shattered after my ex relocated.

On the other hand, the other guy is hell bent on getting me back, he's been pleading and sending people to beg me even though I told him I've moved on and has even had sex with the new guy but he still wants me back.

I'm confused and don't know what to do, my heart is with the new guy but the other guy is making things so difficult for me and almost driving me insane. Can I still grow to love him?? Though I've been unable to after almost a year.

Should move on with the new guy?? I've known him for barely two months but it seems I've known him for ages, my feelings are exploding and I can hardly control them which is making me scared.

I'm sorry for the long epistle but I had to let it all out.
Please advice me.

Tamilore11:
And is there anything bad if she changes prick? Why do men sex shame women in this part of the world? U think like fools. So she should stay in toxic affair because of prick? Wat is even so special about sex? Why do u ppl glorify sex in dis 9ja? If she change prick, so what? Is sex all about life Is sex even an achievement? No wonder most of u die in silence. No wonder ur mother suffered in abusuve relationship and married ur horrible father because she doesn’t want to chsnge prick. Very stupid and gullible mentality

Pareyz:
Stick with the new guy who makes you feel good with memorable moments.

Have sense and avoid your ex since the both of you couldn't naturally blend and get along. It's obvious it was a toxic relationship.

You broke up with your first ex due to distance issues, now you're contemplating on leaving the new guy as you're scared he might go somewhere far from you, which makes me feel you only want someone close that'll be dicking you on a daily basis..

MamiTer:
Hello good people of nairaland, I have a pressing issue and I really need your help.

A couple of years back I broke up with my boyfriend whom I really loved due to distance barriers. Getting over him was difficult for me so I had to go into a relationship with one of my toasters in order to get him off my mind.

I achieved my aim after a couple of months but the current guy was unwilling to let go, I didn't love him and couldn't get myself to love him despite trying to. I know I was selfish and opened up to him but he insisted that I would warm up to him with time and grow to love him.

The relationship was far from perfect, I was in it solely for what I benefited but we weren't compatible and it was from one issue to another. We were always at logger heads all the time. He insults me and my family at any given opportunity and talks down on me using secrets I shared with him as leverage each time we quarrel. He shredded my self-esteem.

He was insecure and attacked my male friends at any given opportunity including my lecturers, he would access my social media accounts and send derogatory message to any male contact he feels is making a pass at me.
All these attitudes made me fed up with him and I decided to breakup for good.

Early this year I met a guy online and somehow we vibed together quickly, we met physically for the first time and it felt like we've known for ages. Everything moved so quickly with this new guy that I started developing serious feelings for him. I was scared because I never knew I would feel something like that again after I broke up with my other ex.

This new guy makes me happy and treats me like a woman, anytime spent with him is always memorable and I don't feel like leaving. The chemistry that we share is super strong and everything seems so perfect.

Now to my issue, this new guy is a fresh graduate and not yet stable, I don't have issues with his financial status because he made me realize a Lady can actually be happy without money being thrown at her. But I'm still scared of going all full into the relationship he might go for service and never come back to me. I don't just want a repeat of my previous relationship that got shattered after my ex relocated.

On the other hand, the other guy is hell bent on getting me back, he's been pleading and sending people to beg me even though I told him I've moved on and has even had sex with the new guy but he still wants me back.

I'm confused and don't know what to do, my heart is with the new guy but the other guy is making things so difficult for me and almost driving me insane. Can I still grow to love him?? Though I've been unable to after almost a year.

Should move on with the new guy?? I've known him for barely two months but it seems I've known him for ages, my feelings are exploding and I can hardly control them which is making me scared.

I'm sorry for the long epistle but I had to let it all out.
Please advice me.

YinkaOlusesi16:
You don`t know what you want & you will never know what you want. To me you are just a confused fellow

MamiTer:
Hello good people of nairaland, I have a pressing issue and I really need your help.

A couple of years back I broke up with my boyfriend whom I really loved due to distance barriers. Getting over him was difficult for me so I had to go into a relationship with one of my toasters in order to get him off my mind.

I achieved my aim after a couple of months but the current guy was unwilling to let go, I didn't love him and couldn't get myself to love him despite trying to. I know I was selfish and opened up to him but he insisted that I would warm up to him with time and grow to love him.

The relationship was far from perfect, I was in it solely for what I benefited but we weren't compatible and it was from one issue to another. We were always at logger heads all the time. He insults me and my family at any given opportunity and talks down on me using secrets I shared with him as leverage each time we quarrel. He shredded my self-esteem.

He was insecure and attacked my male friends at any given opportunity including my lecturers, he would access my social media accounts and send derogatory message to any male contact he feels is making a pass at me.
All these attitudes made me fed up with him and I decided to breakup for good.

Early this year I met a guy online and somehow we vibed together quickly, we met physically for the first time and it felt like we've known for ages. Everything moved so quickly with this new guy that I started developing serious feelings for him. I was scared because I never knew I would feel something like that again after I broke up with my other ex.

This new guy makes me happy and treats me like a woman, anytime spent with him is always memorable and I don't feel like leaving. The chemistry that we share is super strong and everything seems so perfect.

Now to my issue, this new guy is a fresh graduate and not yet stable, I don't have issues with his financial status because he made me realize a Lady can actually be happy without money being thrown at her. But I'm still scared of going all full into the relationship he might go for service and never come back to me. I don't just want a repeat of my previous relationship that got shattered after my ex relocated.

On the other hand, the other guy is hell bent on getting me back, he's been pleading and sending people to beg me even though I told him I've moved on and has even had sex with the new guy but he still wants me back.

I'm confused and don't know what to do, my heart is with the new guy but the other guy is making things so difficult for me and almost driving me insane. Can I still grow to love him?? Though I've been unable to after almost a year.

Should move on with the new guy?? I've known him for barely two months but it seems I've known him for ages, my feelings are exploding and I can hardly control them which is making me scared.

I'm sorry for the long epistle but I had to let it all out.
Please advice me.

MamiTer:
Hello good people of nairaland, I have a pressing issue and I really need your help.

A couple of years back I broke up with my boyfriend whom I really loved due to distance barriers. Getting over him was difficult for me so I had to go into a relationship with one of my toasters in order to get him off my mind.

I achieved my aim after a couple of months but the current guy was unwilling to let go, I didn't love him and couldn't get myself to love him despite trying to. I know I was selfish and opened up to him but he insisted that I would warm up to him with time and grow to love him.

The relationship was far from perfect, I was in it solely for what I benefited but we weren't compatible and it was from one issue to another. We were always at logger heads all the time. He insults me and my family at any given opportunity and talks down on me using secrets I shared with him as leverage each time we quarrel. He shredded my self-esteem.

He was insecure and attacked my male friends at any given opportunity including my lecturers, he would access my social media accounts and send derogatory message to any male contact he feels is making a pass at me.
All these attitudes made me fed up with him and I decided to breakup for good.

Early this year I met a guy online and somehow we vibed together quickly, we met physically for the first time and it felt like we've known for ages. Everything moved so quickly with this new guy that I started developing serious feelings for him. I was scared because I never knew I would feel something like that again after I broke up with my other ex.

This new guy makes me happy and treats me like a woman, anytime spent with him is always memorable and I don't feel like leaving. The chemistry that we share is super strong and everything seems so perfect.

Now to my issue, this new guy is a fresh graduate and not yet stable, I don't have issues with his financial status because he made me realize a Lady can actually be happy without money being thrown at her. But I'm still scared of going all full into the relationship he might go for service and never come back to me. I don't just want a repeat of my previous relationship that got shattered after my ex relocated.

On the other hand, the other guy is hell bent on getting me back, he's been pleading and sending people to beg me even though I told him I've moved on and has even had sex with the new guy but he still wants me back.

I'm confused and don't know what to do, my heart is with the new guy but the other guy is making things so difficult for me and almost driving me insane. Can I still grow to love him?? Though I've been unable to after almost a year.

Should move on with the new guy?? I've known him for barely two months but it seems I've known him for ages, my feelings are exploding and I can hardly control them which is making me scared.

I'm sorry for the long epistle but I had to let it all out.
Please advice me.

donziller:
The new guy is only there to chop clean mouth, know dis and know peace

YinkaOlusesi16:
You don`t know what you want & you will never know what you want. To me you are just a confused fellow

OBALOLA55:
IN OTHER WORDS, SHE SHOULD CONTINUE THE SEX RELATIONSHIP

frozen70:
If she enjoys sex with him, let her continue till it fades away or get another relationship

But she should bear in mind that both of those guys are not for him, base on her narrative

YinkaOlusesi16:
You don`t know what you want & you will never know what you want. To me you are just a confused fellow

MamiTer:
Hello good people of nairaland, I have a pressing issue and I really need your help.

A couple of years back I broke up with my boyfriend whom I really loved due to distance barriers. Getting over him was difficult for me so I had to go into a relationship with one of my toasters in order to get him off my mind.

I achieved my aim after a couple of months but the current guy was unwilling to let go, I didn't love him and couldn't get myself to love him despite trying to. I know I was selfish and opened up to him but he insisted that I would warm up to him with time and grow to love him.

The relationship was far from perfect, I was in it solely for what I benefited but we weren't compatible and it was from one issue to another. We were always at logger heads all the time. He insults me and my family at any given opportunity and talks down on me using secrets I shared with him as leverage each time we quarrel. He shredded my self-esteem.

He was insecure and attacked my male friends at any given opportunity including my lecturers, he would access my social media accounts and send derogatory message to any male contact he feels is making a pass at me.
All these attitudes made me fed up with him and I decided to breakup for good.

Early this year I met a guy online and somehow we vibed together quickly, we met physically for the first time and it felt like we've known for ages. Everything moved so quickly with this new guy that I started developing serious feelings for him. I was scared because I never knew I would feel something like that again after I broke up with my other ex.

This new guy makes me happy and treats me like a woman, anytime spent with him is always memorable and I don't feel like leaving. The chemistry that we share is super strong and everything seems so perfect.

Now to my issue, this new guy is a fresh graduate and not yet stable, I don't have issues with his financial status because he made me realize a Lady can actually be happy without money being thrown at her. But I'm still scared of going all full into the relationship he might go for service and never come back to me. I don't just want a repeat of my previous relationship that got shattered after my ex relocated.

On the other hand, the other guy is hell bent on getting me back, he's been pleading and sending people to beg me even though I told him I've moved on and has even had sex with the new guy but he still wants me back.

I'm confused and don't know what to do, my heart is with the new guy but the other guy is making things so difficult for me and almost driving me insane. Can I still grow to love him?? Though I've been unable to after almost a year.

Should move on with the new guy?? I've known him for barely two months but it seems I've known him for ages, my feelings are exploding and I can hardly control them which is making me scared.

I'm sorry for the long epistle but I had to let it all out.
Please advice me.

MamiTer:
Hello good people of nairaland, I have a pressing issue and I really need your help.

A couple of years back I broke up with my boyfriend whom I really loved due to distance barriers. Getting over him was difficult for me so I had to go into a relationship with one of my toasters in order to get him off my mind.

I achieved my aim after a couple of months but the current guy was unwilling to let go, I didn't love him and couldn't get myself to love him despite trying to. I know I was selfish and opened up to him but he insisted that I would warm up to him with time and grow to love him.

The relationship was far from perfect, I was in it solely for what I benefited but we weren't compatible and it was from one issue to another. We were always at logger heads all the time. He insults me and my family at any given opportunity and talks down on me using secrets I shared with him as leverage each time we quarrel. He shredded my self-esteem.

He was insecure and attacked my male friends at any given opportunity including my lecturers, he would access my social media accounts and send derogatory message to any male contact he feels is making a pass at me.
All these attitudes made me fed up with him and I decided to breakup for good.

Early this year I met a guy online and somehow we vibed together quickly, we met physically for the first time and it felt like we've known for ages. Everything moved so quickly with this new guy that I started developing serious feelings for him. I was scared because I never knew I would feel something like that again after I broke up with my other ex.

This new guy makes me happy and treats me like a woman, anytime spent with him is always memorable and I don't feel like leaving. The chemistry that we share is super strong and everything seems so perfect.

Now to my issue, this new guy is a fresh graduate and not yet stable, I don't have issues with his financial status because he made me realize a Lady can actually be happy without money being thrown at her. But I'm still scared of going all full into the relationship he might go for service and never come back to me. I don't just want a repeat of my previous relationship that got shattered after my ex relocated.

On the other hand, the other guy is hell bent on getting me back, he's been pleading and sending people to beg me even though I told him I've moved on and has even had sex with the new guy but he still wants me back.

I'm confused and don't know what to do, my heart is with the new guy but the other guy is making things so difficult for me and almost driving me insane. Can I still grow to love him?? Though I've been unable to after almost a year.

Should move on with the new guy?? I've known him for barely two months but it seems I've known him for ages, my feelings are exploding and I can hardly control them which is making me scared.

I'm sorry for the long epistle but I had to let it all out.
Please advice me.

kaymart:
Na idiots she be. She doesn't deserve any advice. She's Useless

jogojogo:
Time is too short to rate your new guy. Only time will tell if he is really the right guy or not. Most time as guys we try to be as good as possible especially when in a new relationship. You want to do every thing right to create a very positive impression. I will subscribe to the older guy but with some level of carefulness. The guy may have come to terms with how terrible he had been and may want to get that corrected. In all, don't be too carried away by vibes and emotion. Be very critical. I see comments from "very perfect" people on this platform.

kaymart:
Your advice were so on point. Coming from a lady, I give u lots of respect. You sound so mature and u seem to have experience in such scenerio....U are so on point. The kind of advice to give someone u actually care for....Kudos.

Here is the problem, the new guy came just for pumping and dumping only. You advice that she let go of the two previous ex'es and look for a new guy. You completely ignored the fact that she's now "used". She's been ran through by multiple guys ans the counts will go up and up .Her market value is dwindling. She doesn't deserve a good man. So, Karma will take effect on her. She will most likely continue meeting savage guys cos what goes around comes around. She will realise her mistakes when she's about 30 and above or when she becomes a single mother.

YinkaOlusesi16:
You don`t know what you want & you will never know what you want. To me you are just a confused fellow

PrimadonnaO:
You seem to be taking this a bit personally.

What does it mean to be "used?"

This girl didn't mention at any point that she was forced or deceived. Except she's considerably younger than the man, then I don't share your sentiments.

The counts need not go up, and why doesn't she deserve a good man?