klassyguy:


Thank you very much. The funny thing is i do not even allow them to watch anything until the weekend. They know they have their school work to do each time they get home.

One issue I figured is my son gets bored easily. He gets tired of things once he has done them more than twice or thrice. When I call and tell him we would work on his homeworks when I get home, more often than not he would have done them before I get home. He is the kind of kid who can't sit still in one place for long and gets distracted, which was how I was when I was his age. That's why I decided to enroll him into the U8 soccer team he is. He has been there for a few weeks now and i hope that helps him.

Bro,i understand what you're going through as a father who have the interest of his little boy at heart... I will advice you to change his school because I sensed your boy is pragmatic in nature, so he needs a guide to put him through. About his behaviour,don't worry he would come around has he grow with age.
Always pray for him. Bless you

klassyguy:


I came here for advice on how to tackle a problem, not for a lecture on whether I am doing a good job of raising my kids. I've raised my kids the best way I feel. Not everyone is perfect. Sometimes you need inputs of other parents. Most of the time when I flog him, he behaves. His teacher has told me on several occasions he behaves after I "talk" to him, but it is not all the time one should spank a kid when he misbehaves. Training kids is not only achieved at home. They also have to learn and be corrected in school where their parents are not present, and that's where teachers come in.

As for the test, if you read my initial post, I clearly mentioned I AM OPEN TO TAKING HIM FOR AN ADHD TEST. It's my wife that's against it. I can't do that without her input and support. How would you feel if your spouse goes behind your back to do something with both your kids without your support and knowledge?

Maybe your wife is against it because she feels the ADHD test involves carrying out a DNA test first.....just saying...

klassyguy:


She said because I had the same behavior when I was a kid. I believe she is just scared.

To me o, there's nothing wrong with that boy. Is he rude to others? Does he shoplift? Is he violent? Is he unkind to others?
I guess no because you didn't state so. So I'm saying there's nothing wrong with the boy. He's just an independent minded person. Maybe too much now for his own good.
This could really be frustrating as a parent. But it's left for you and your spouse to help the young man chart his own cause in life by being patient and understanding.

You talk about returning to Nigeria?
Then your son's character can't be the reason.

He will be fine.

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

Yorubas will say, suffering is a great teacher... Move him to your home country to learn sense.

Just pretend you're coming for holidays. Enrol him in a boarding house where he'll fetch water, see less privileged students.... Etc.... Bad roads, off NEPA..

Thank me later >

God bless you, this is my position on this matter, a tough call if he doesn't want to have a gangster as a son in the future he will do the needful now

Oyiboman69:
you know the solution to your problems but is just unfortunate that the environment would not allow you discipline them in an African way which they frown upon out there. I suggest you send them to Nigeria to learn some moral upbringing through African way than letting the situation eat you up...it is only a suggestion cos I'm sure that I can definitely tow the same path for the sake of my sanity,I cannot come and go and kill myself for any pikin....

Oyiboman69:
you know the solution to your problems but is just unfortunate that the environment would not allow you discipline them in an African way which they frown upon out there. I suggest you send them to Nigeria to learn some moral upbringing through African way than letting the situation eat you up...it is only a suggestion cos I'm sure that I can definitely tow the same path for the sake of my sanity,I cannot come and go and kill myself for any pikin....

Please share how the "moral upbringing through African way" is reflecting positively in the daily life in Nigeria today?

To me, there is nothing wrong with the boy
He has a very high IQ
I would advise you task his brain with things that are above his age, when you do these do it with love





I hope it helps

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

In the fullness of time, he will be the employer to the other“ well behaved ones”. Take time to identify his gifts and nurture them. And also set back time table of activities for them.
Remember he is only 6. He will change (just like you did - you were once like him) but it seems to have an extra ordinarily smart boy as a son.

klassyguy:


I came here for advice on how to tackle a problem, not for a lecture on whether I am doing a good job of raising my kids. I've raised my kids the best way I feel. Not everyone is perfect. Sometimes you need inputs of other parents. Most of the time when I flog him, he behaves. His teacher has told me on several occasions he behaves after I "talk" to him, but it is not all the time one should spank a kid when he misbehaves. Training kids is not only achieved at home. They also have to learn and be corrected in school where their parents are not present, and that's where teachers come in.

As for the test, if you read my initial post, I clearly mentioned I AM OPEN TO TAKING HIM FOR AN ADHD TEST. It's my wife that's against it. I can't do that without her input and support. How would you feel if your spouse goes behind your back to do something with both your kids without your support and knowledge?

Then get your wife consent and take him for the test

Also you won't get any help on this nairaland, see a child specialist or something

klassyguy:


She said because I had the same behavior when I was a kid. I believe she is just scared.

forget those ones parents always say dogs this and that when you were younger. Sometimes there are exgerated or said to make you feel better. Do the best for your kids which you are doing and God will handle the rest... Peace!

Igbofam:


Maybe your wife is against it because she feels the ADHD test involves carrying out a DNA test first.....just saying...

Nwanne Zukwanike

If you are not going to use physical violence as many ignorantly advocate here then you just had to start early.
This is where most parents miss it.
They do not observe and adjust early and quickly enough.
Quite often by three years the child is concrete in his/her ways.
Parenting starts from day 1.

ChoCho54:
Nwanne Zukwanike

I mean you never know with women right? You are a woman ain't cha

Get him a therapist, a child therapist.

Sometimes, children like that are just extra gifted, but like you said, they find it hard to channel it into one place, so, they seem erratic and all over the place.

Get a professional to speak to him and understand where his head is at, then, you can make your decisions using whatever diagnosis they come up with.


Please, whatever you do, nothing should make you consider moving your entire family back to this Nigeria as an option. That is the worst thing you can do for them, especially for your son. Nigeria cannot offer you the help you need, we do not have the sort of professionals that can deal with that child's issues, it will only worsen the case.

Rhips:


In the fullness of time, he will be the employer to the other“ well behaved ones”. Take time to identify his gifts and nurture them. And also set back time table of activities for them.
Remember he is only 6. He will change (just like you did - you were once like him) but it seems to have an extra ordinarily smart boy as a son.

This is awesome!

it could help, but he has to show confidence in problem solving and a sense of adventure or accomplishment as he shows that to the child.

It would be better, it is done from the child's perspective, so he can step out or develop the ability to adapt to new environment. That will involve building the skills to categories every environment and how he should approach it. I think he should talk to his son also about how he feels in school, or it would be very good to get some feedback from the child.

Feeyarh:
To me, there is nothing wrong with the boy
He has a very high IQ
I would advise you task his brain with things that are above his age, when you do these do it with love





I hope it helps

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

I have a nephew here in the States.. his tough and smart... but doesn't behave like a regularly African kids... we fear is gonna become something else..but not bad in Jesus name...

Taking them to Africa is out of the question..
But the next step now is to enroll them in military academy...

It's a long journey to becom a commission officer..but it's a great career...and I believe the military will reshape him...


Don't send your kids to Africa...rather enroll them to academy if you can...just around $25000/yr
New York Military Academy
Saints Jones
Saints tomas

Have you considered seeing a paed or therapist to check if he's on the spectrum? Apart from the ADHD, hiding under desks, I'm bothered about his seeming strange reaction to lights. In the interim, limit screen time considerably. Reduce sugar and so much processed food while increasing his physical activities- riding a bicycle, going on walks etc.

Your son is a hyperactive boy, some children have so much adrenaline that makes them restless and hyperactive, he will grow pass it, he has the potential to be a genius, don't compare him with his sister, let him learn at his own pace. That is why I advice parents to put their kids in a Montessori school so that they can develop at their own pace.

I advice you should try out different things and see the one that he gives attention more then remove the other things that makes him bored. Some kids get bored easily, just engaged him in different activites he loves and he will tire out.


From an Educationist and a former primary& Nursery teacher.

Igbofam:


I mean you never know with women right? You are a woman ain't cha

Has your daddy taken you to do DNA test?

klassyguy:


I see nothing wrong in buying a game console for my kids. Besides he only plays train simulators, overcooked, and lego jurassic world. And they know they only get to play it on weekends for a few hours, which they adhere to. So the PS5 is not the issue.

It's taking his mind away can't you see it, it's too early to buy game for him. Why are you complaining if don't see anything wrong in buying game for a 6 years old boy?

Kobojunkie:
So you don't want to get your child to a child therapist to figure out early the reason why you as a parent have not been able to get a handle on your child, but you want to take him to Nigeria where the child's particular emotional situation is all but ignored and the child instead forced into survival mode instead?

U guys just think everything about western upbringing is perfect. Which is completely untrue. Sometimes u need to take the tough road with some kids and get them to understand the real perspective of life.

Nigerian upbringing has it's pro and cons and same for western. Sofar even his teacher does know how to handle him.

The parents may need to go back to the good old basics of parenting.

Nuttella:
Your son is a hyperactive boy, some children have so much adrenaline that makes them restless and hyperactive, he will grow pass it, don't compare him with his sister, let him learn at his own pace. That is why I advice parents to put their kids in a Montessori school so that they can develop at their own pace.

From an educationist.

All our kids are in Montessori. At least the school sign boards say so.

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

Have you taken him to a child therapist? He seems to have the classic symptoms of ADHD.

ChoCho54:
Has your daddy taken you to do DNA test?

Yes! Knowledge is power.

But wait o. Why is this DNA talk rubbing you off the wrong way? Is your conscience bugging you about something?

learning from your comment, let them learn at their own pace, rather than forced learning, which disincentives. thank you, I can see another perspective.

Nuttella:
Your son is a hyperactive boy, some children have so much adrenaline that makes them restless and hyperactive, he will grow pass it, he has the potential to be a genius, don't compare him with his sister, let him learn at his own pace. That is why I advice parents to put their kids in a Montessori school so that they can develop at their own pace.
I think you should try out different things and see the one that he gives attention more than remove the other things that makes him bored. Some kids get bored easily, just engaged him in different activites he loves and he will tire out.


From an educationist and a former primary teacher.

I will advice you kindly go for the ADHD test and do the needful treatment procedure in helping him.. Tnx

Igbofam:


Yes! Knowledge is power.

But wait o. Why is this DNA talk rubbing you off the wrong way? Is your conscience bugging you about something?

Conscience kee you dia

You guys too dey yarn opata.

I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Halfway through your post, this came to my mind. I do understand personal reasons for not wanting to do some things, but, if you know his conditions and confirmed by experts. That way, together with the same experts, solutions can be proffered. Further, focus can be placed on his strong sides. I work with a big financial institution. I can tell you that most of our traders are the ADHD and mild autism type. They thrive in professions where use of numbers is dominant and that do not require much emotional inclination / empathy. But for this to be ascertained he might have to be tested

I am guessing or speculating that treatment may be harmful when it's examined over a long time.

King125007:
I will advice you kindly go for the ADHD test and do the needful treatment procedure in helping him.. Tnx

klassyguy:


She said because I had the same behavior when I was a kid. I believe she is just scared.

Please tell Madam there's nothing to be scared about.. the earlier the better.

If he has ADHD or Autism, you all could get him the help that he need. If he doesn't have it, then you know.

Please have heart to heart talk with Madam and get your boy help before it is too late.

Cheers!