heniford2:
am already married to a white lady self developed lady with Three kids so shut up if he helps u grow now u will still not support him when his down u will institute hate among the kids against ur husband, am glad men are wise enough if u calm ur a super lady why not divorce ur husband and watch how it goes. yeye housewife

it will well with you jigolo

@ellaV Madam, husband and wife matters can be really complicated… the part I missed in your story was the part where you spoke to him about the situation and he said what? Why do he and his mother not want you to have financial means? Why does your husband want you to be suffering? Let’s get to the root of the matter first

socialmediaman:
Madam, the part I missed in your story was the part where you spoke to him about the situation and he said what? Why do he and his mother not want you to have financial means? Why does your husband want you to be suffering? Let’s get to the root of the matter first

I have asked him but I don't get any answer

ellaV:
it will well with you jigolo

quite complain start something little u have fridge in ur house start iceblock business your waiting for him to give you millions so u can go and dash dat ur boyfriend why can't you start something make the money and cook a nice meal without asking him money for a week start akara business you will be shock as how he will support u,madam housewife

Kobojunkie:
Wait a second....don't tell me you seriously want to believe the reason why your husband doesn't value you as an individual is because of a cock-n-bull story fed you by some mog or pastor?.

Anyways, you explained that your husband has near no respect for you in the marriage you both agreed to - marriage is a contract/agreement between a man and woman - and you are merely a glorified intimacy gadget, baba mama and housegirl in your union, but desire more. So tell us, what do you intend to do about what is your predicament? Surely, if you truly believe you are worth more, you must have ideas on what you would rather do to change your situation?

I don't know what to do that's why am here

socialmediaman:
@ellaV Madam, husband and wife matters can be really complicated… the part I missed in your story was the part where you spoke to him about the situation and he said what? Why do he and his mother not want you to have financial means? Why does your husband want you to be suffering? Let’s get to the root of the matter first

the husband understands the kind of wife his married to QED

heniford2:
quite complain start something little u have fridge in ur house start iceblock business your waiting for him to give you millions so u can go and dash dat ur boyfriend why can't you start something make the money and cook a nice meal without asking him money for a week start akara business you will be shock as how he will support u,madam housewife

thanks

ellaV:
I have asked him but I don't get any answer

Ok. I’m just trying to understand what’s going on here. You mentioned that he goes about talking to other people. He doesn’t have a reason why he doesn’t want you to have your own income? That’s strange.

Does he give you money for personal upkeep? Do you both have kids? Are there insubordination, infidelity or trust issues in the marriage? Do you have issues with his mother?

ellaV:
I don't know what to do that's why am here

Have you considered separating from what you describe as a toxic marriage for a time, move back home to village or with relatives, so you can reboot or reset your own life afresh?

Maybe get a job, get your life back on track so you are no longer a slave in your marriage? It's 2022 and stories like yours ellicit some amount of disgust, if you don't know, as I assume I am speaking here to an intelligent being.

ellaV:
thanks

ur thanking dat jigolo man u where insulting

ibechris:
This kind of story is shameful to hear because if u are my sister,this marriage would be done and dusted honestly.

How do u chose to stay in such a home when it is obvious he has turned u to a slave and nothing more.

Madam,find ur way and live for your children,if anything bad happens to that man,then u will know what it means to be an independent woman.

I am a married man who believed that women should be empowered financially either through business or conventional jobs and I hate to hear stories like this coming from a 2.1 candidates.

Be wise madam.

Becareful how you judge one sided story... Very dangerous thing to do. Some women will never appreciate even if you cut your head for them.

I want to learn software development and work remotely with it...if your into that and ur I'm ph and willing to teach me pls PM me tnxs

Another single mother in making. God have mercy!

socialmediaman:


Ok. I’m just trying to understand what’s going on here. You mentioned that he goes about talking to other people. He doesn’t have a reason why he doesn’t want you to have your own income? That’s strange.

Does he give you money for personal upkeep? Do you both have kids? Are there insubordination, infidelity or trust issues in the marriage? Do you have issues with his mother?

he doesn't give me money for upkeep, we have 2 kids?the mother doesn't like me because we ain't same tribe, I feel their is trust issues

grafixdon:
Another single mother in making. God have mercy!

You would rather she remain in what she describes as a toxic marriage, why?

More than half of Nigerians today where raised by single mothers, many of them abandoned in marriage, are the children worse off for it?

Or do you think children raised in toxic environments grow up better individuals or something??

ellaV:
I want to learn software development and work remotely with it...if your into that and ur I'm ph and willing to teach me pls PM me tnxs

Software development? Lol. Its not an easy thing to learn easily just like that, do you have time to code?

grafixdon:


Becareful how you judge one sided story... Very dangerous thing to do. Some women will never appreciate even if you cut your head for them.

am not those your kind of women am appreciative

Kobojunkie:
You would rather she remain in what she describes as a toxic marriage, why?

Hear from the man first, don't judge one sided story especially when it's coming from a woman... Some women will never appreciate even if you cut your head for them.

grafixdon:


Software development? Lol. Its not an easy thing to learn easily just like that, do you have time to code?

I will learn sir

grafixdon:


Hear from the man first, don't judge one sided story especially when it's coming from a woman... Some women will never appreciate even if you cut your head for them.

it's well

ellaV:
he doesn't give me money for upkeep, we have 2 kids?the mother doesn't like me because we ain't same tribe, I feel their is trust issues

Ok, when you say there may be trust issues, what do you mean? Who doesn’t trust who, and what don’t they trust them about?

Secondly, just to clarify, are you trying to become financially independent of him, or fix your marriage, or both?

grafixdon:


Hear from the man first, don't judge one sided story especially when it's coming from a woman... Some women will never appreciate even if you cut your head for them.

I don't have 1 wrapper for myself as a married woman my mother that did omogwo for me was not given the things meant for her..you will not understand

socialmediaman:


Ok, when you say there may be trust issues, what do you mean? Who doesn’t trust who, and what don’t they trust them about?

Secondly, just to clarify, are you trying to become financially independent of him, or fix your marriage, or both?

I want to fix my marriage and give back to my people who trained me

ellaV:
I don't have 1 wrapper for myself as a married woman my mother that did omogwo for me was not given the things meant for her..you will not understand

He doesn't pay school fees, hospital bills, foods, house rent...?

grafixdon:


He doesn't pay school fees, hospital bills, foods, house rent...?

he does all that comfortable but I want to start something for myself

To change that man, you have to get someone in your family to speak with him. If there's no one to call on, I am sorry, you may have to endure for as long as possible. A trouble-filled inter-tribal marriage like this without anyone on your side, may leave you devastated for a long time.

His mother tied him up so bad that he listens to whatever she tells him, right? Then, get someone in your family to tie you up and get you the benefits/rights that you seek in that marriage. It is that simple.

I suspect that man is taking advantage of you because you have nobody to "fight" for you. If this is the situation, then you should have been extra extra careful with your spousal decision.

Acidosis:


To change that man, you have to get someone in your family to speak with him. If there's no one to call on, I am sorry, you may have to endure for as long as possible. A trouble-filled inter-tribal marriage like this without anyone on your side, may leave you devastated.

His mother tied him up so bad that he listens to whatever she tells him, right? Then, get someone for yourself to tie you up and get you the benefits/rights that you seek in that marriage. It is that simple.

it's well

Klass99:


Lol, you made me laugh @ rent a prophet guys. No, I don't necessarily believe the mother in law is behind her predicaments of unproductivity, income lack and other issues, or that her hubby has been caged in a bottle.

However, I know there is good and evil, God and the devil. While I have strong reservations about claims like hers, there was a front page thread, where a guy narrated his personal experience with his own mother, using jazz, witchcraft (whatever you want to call it) on him for her gain and benefit.

Additionally I know God is not lying when he says the human heart is desperately wicked and a man's worse enemies are from within his own household. I copied you and Nnamnugochi to only stress the point I made on his thread about some women being manipulative and selfish in the name of motherhood.

I knew that was the point you were trying to buttress, my comment on that post was about meddling, not spiritual manipulation . This koto aye issue is on a different level. I do agree with you about the evil times we live in today. The OP is trying to go Ijebu.

I am also suspecting that he is a gay but I have got no evidence yet, sometimes he goes out and when he come back he is smelling shit shit I will ask him did you poo he will say no..he will go bath n the odours will go away...I don't just know...God should just help me, name Marry I marry I no kee person

Acidosis:

To change that man, you have to get someone in your family to speak with him. If there's no one to call on, I am sorry, you may have to endure for as long as possible. A trouble-filled inter-tribal marriage like this without anyone on your side, may leave you devastated for a long time.

His mother tied him up so bad that he listens to whatever she tells him, right? Then, get someone in your family to tie you up and get you the benefits/rights that you seek in that marriage. It is that simple.

I suspect that man is taking advantage of you because you have nobody to "fight" for you. If this is the situation, then you should have been extra extra careful with your spousal decision.

i know but that's wickedness that he will reap if he doesn't change

grafixdon:
Hear from the man first, don't judge one sided story especially when it's coming from a woman... Some women will never appreciate even if you cut your head for them.

The woman said her marriage is toxic for her. Hearing from the man won't change how she feels about the marriage now, will it?

And you didn't answer any of the questions I asked you earlier... You would rather she remain in what she describes as a toxic marriage, why?

More than half of Nigerians today where raised by single mothers, many of them abandoned in marriage, are the children worse off for it?

Or do you think children raised in toxic environments grow up better individuals or something??