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Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? - Family (5) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? (41305 Views)

Is It Ok For A Guy To Be Living With His Parents At Age 32-39 ? / A closed mouth may soon turn to a dead body.Please your help is needed / How Do I Ask My Cousin To Leave My House? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Cheeryfeet: 10:56am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.
Bro your heart is the greatest detector we have, if only we can heed it more often, we wouldn't be living with regrets. If you are not ok with it, put your leg on the ground and discharge him o
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by cj1900: 10:56am On Apr 15, 2022
Fiscus105:



Trust her? Yet still doubting her staying with ur own cousin not friends or outsiders oo.

If you cannot trust ur family around ur legal wife how much more outsiders and exes.

I think you should be more concerned about her exes who may likely play rebound ball after several years of separation.

I married her as a virgin. She has not given me any reason not to trust her. Finally, it is not the case that I don't feel comfortable with my family members around, he has been with us for over 5 to 6 months now. My concern is a situation where I leave the house allowing just the 2 of them to stay in the house.

Specifically, there is a natural tendency for humans to grow an attachment when they spend time together and that's where my concerns are..

Anyway, thankyou for your advise
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Etuagievin(m): 10:57am On Apr 15, 2022
frozen70:



Your wife is the issue here not your cousin

If your wife is decent and you trust her with your last breath, you don't need to panic

If she wants to sleep with another man, she will do so even while you are leaving in Nigeria

So even if you get a room self contain for your cousin to pack out, they will meet when they want to meet

So, just talk to your wife by advising her and that's all

Who go cheat go cheat
. See funny advise

2 Likes

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Mom007(f): 10:58am On Apr 15, 2022
Acidosis:

Discuss your travel plans with him and wait for his response. Failure to get a response from him regarding his accommodation plan in 24 hours is enough reason to eject him from your house. A sensitive person should know what to do, especially one that is close to 40.
This is so intelligent. When and if he does express the desire to move just that he doesn't have funds, then you can help him with a token to get an apartment, maybe a self contain far from your house. Nothing like I was in the neighborhood and decided to say hello and all that nonsense. May God give you wisdom.

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by samiabigail: 10:58am On Apr 15, 2022
Cut her kpekus and bre*st along so u can have rest of mind undecided

1 Like

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by MichaelSokoto(m): 10:59am On Apr 15, 2022
talk to boogyman557...

Dude is one ol'G with wealth of experience!

Wtf man!
cool

1 Like

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by integrity16(m): 11:02am On Apr 15, 2022
You don't trust your wife?

1 Like

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Katcall: 11:02am On Apr 15, 2022
akinsmyk:
This actually happened to me. In this case, I was the cousin. We’re family members. My brothers mum is the elder sis to my own mum so I was living with them right from secondary school days while we were both teenagers. He’s 3years older than I am.

So when my cousin elder bro graduated from uni and get a good job, he moved out from the family house to get an accommodation on the Island coz that’s where he works. When I finished school, I joined him too coz we have been living in the same room as the only males as a teenager.

Before my bro got married, his fiancé used to come to the house and we gist like friends, we all do hang out together to catch fun and go places together. At times I drive our wife to be to the market or shopping malls in my bro’s car if he doesn’t feel like going.

When they were going to be married, I made move to leave but they said that I can stay. It was a 2bedroom apartment tho and we later moved to 3bed.

2years later, my cousin was transferred to Europe to work living behind the wife and me while working her visa too.

I and the wife stayed 6months together in the apartment before her visa was ready without anyone giving thoughts about rubbish or whatever. My own gf do comes to the house too which they know.

So it’s all about knowing who you married and the kind of brother/cousin you have. If you can vouch for them, so why not. Not everyone is immoral and useless. Some things are just so wrong without being told.
liar. we know you fúcked her
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by iramure(m): 11:02am On Apr 15, 2022
We4all:


Then why did he marry her if she cannot be trusted?

Trust is just a word
Trust at your own peril
I trust my wife, DNA proved my children not my biological product( just for illustration)
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by layycon: 11:03am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.

My brother, don't ever listen to people telling you to leave your wife with your cousin on the grounds that "Who go cheat go cheat". Most of the commenters are below 30.

You need peace of mind. If your wife wants to cheat, let her cheat with whoever she likes as long as you are not aware. Knowing that your full grown up cousin is in the same house with your wife will even give you sleepless nights....And damn you if the guy is caring and good looking.

Abbegg o, no allow that kind thing o.

2 Likes

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Fiscus105(m): 11:04am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:


I married her as a virgin. She has not given me any reason not to trust her. Finally, it is not the case that I don't feel comfortable with my family members around, he has been with us for over 5 to 6 months now. My concern is a situation where I leave the house allowing just the 2 of them to stay in the house.

Specifically, there is a natural tendency for humans to grow an attachment when they spend time together and that's where my concerns are..

Anyway, thankyou for your advise


The last person that any woman (not even married wife) will bed is her husband relatives, it's only complete wayward lady that will sex his boyfriend family not even married woman.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by frranklin: 11:04am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Thanks guys for all your advices.. It is really worrying because I am trying not to sound insensitive to my brother but at thesame time, it is common sense that someone's wife should not be living under thesame roof alone with a full grown man.

Bring your wife brother and sister to come and live with them.
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by squad03: 11:05am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.


Even for security purposes,I don't know how this arrangement will work.At least in my mind,there are more cons than pros.
Personally,I won't like the idea because wife may be silently required to cook and all,you being away should mean a reduction in domestic affairs.Now,nobody may confront her about it but just imagine your cousin talking to his mum or someone telling them he hasn't eaten at a particular time of the day even if it's his choice,them fit dey ask say wetin wife dey do wey nothing dey wey e go chop...silent beef go start with extended family.
I'm not arguing trust here but as people who will go through different experiences on a day to day basis,being in the same space means they can unintentionally become vulnerable with each other,even when they are both responsible.You can test trust only with limited exposure for a short while not when you're perpetually with the other person.
Then no be today grown men dey get hard on wey dem no plan for mornings and will wife wear a bra and bubu 24/7?Hormones please!
His head is in getting a VISA to leave but we know these things are unpredictable.
Preserve the respect they have for each other by having him arrange alternative accommodation because it can quickly get messy even if they don't become intimate and that'll put you in a difficult situation.

Couz will understand if you sit down to talk to him, don't just expect him to know.He may already be wondering about it but if you don't talk about it,it can easily be translated to you being ok with him remaining in your home.

3 Likes

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Femeto: 11:05am On Apr 15, 2022
grin Help is it okay to leave goat alone with a lion?

2 Likes

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by cj1900: 11:07am On Apr 15, 2022
akinsmyk:
This actually happened to me. In this case, I was the cousin. We’re family members. My brothers mum is the elder sis to my own mum so I was living with them right from secondary school days while we were both teenagers. He’s 3years older than I am.

So when my cousin elder bro graduated from uni and get a good job, he moved out from the family house to get an accommodation on the Island coz that’s where he works. When I finished school, I joined him too coz we have been living in the same room as the only males as a teenager.

Before my bro got married, his fiancé used to come to the house and we gist like friends, we all do hang out together to catch fun and go places together. At times I drive our wife to be to the market or shopping malls in my bro’s car if he doesn’t feel like going.

When they were going to be married, I made move to leave but they said that I can stay. It was a 2bedroom apartment tho and we later moved to 3bed.

2years later, my cousin was transferred to Europe to work living behind the wife and me while working her visa too.

I and the wife stayed 6months together in the apartment before her visa was ready without anyone giving thoughts about rubbish or whatever. My own gf do comes to the house too which they know.

So it’s all about knowing who you married and the kind of brother/cousin you have. If you can vouch for them, so why not. Not everyone is immoral and useless. Some things are just so wrong without being told.

Thankyou very much. I will consider it further
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Pzpropertylimit(m): 11:07am On Apr 15, 2022
U either choose pursuing money or having a peaceful family .
Whether u like it or not , someone will enter her before u return and u too will blip white pussy before una see again. Go with ur wife or don't go at all .
Woman can't stay for a year for u with her pussy gasping for help .
If u have ur sister call her in . This is the only person she will respect not her own sister . Oga wahala deooooooo
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by limcar: 11:08am On Apr 15, 2022
FutureIsFemale:
Men can't control their urge. Things that are likely to happen; 1. Will drug your wife then rape her. 2. Would rape your wife.
sapphiere I will break your head one day. harlot

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Hannover(m): 11:09am On Apr 15, 2022
obiekunie01:
To leave your wife with even your adult brother in a house for just a weeks is one of the most stupid thing any man can do talk more of leaving your cousin with your wife for an unknown period of time.

listen oga. tell your cousin you will soon be traveling back therefore he has to make alternative arrangement for his accommodation before your due date of your trip! period!

Must you even tell him before he knows he has to make an alternative arrangement? what kind of a moronic cousin is that?

tell him you will assist him with 100k for his alternative accommodation.

A MAN THAT IS NOT BOLD ENOUGH TO PROTECT HIS FAMILY DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE CALLED A MAN.

DON'T BE A SISI!

God bless you my brother.... This is even a cousin for that matter! I wonder why he is afraid of sending him away
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Ola4lead(m): 11:13am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.


OP get your cousin an apartment so that you can have peace of mind, and let him know why you get an apt for him. He is a grown man so it's not advisable to be living under a woman or anyone, and I believe he will be happy you get him a new apt.

1 Like

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Belemahue: 11:13am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof. Why not install IP cameras in the house and active motion detection at every sensitive point in your house then get backup power supply.

I need your opinions pls.
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Evergreen4(m): 11:14am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.
Don't make that grave mistake please. If you Care about him so much, get him a room self contain and give feeding money monthly since things are not too rosy for him now till he gets his visa. Do it for him, please don't let him roam the streets since you have the resources to help. him
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Oyiboman69: 11:15am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Thanks guys for all your advices.. It is really worrying because I am trying not to sound insensitive to my brother but at thesame time, it is common sense that someone's wife should not be living under thesame roof alone with a full grown man.
talk to your wife about it and let her go bring one of her male siblings if possible. also don't forget to fix a hidden camera where you can access when abroad.
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Nobody: 11:16am On Apr 15, 2022
frozen70:



Your wife is the issue here not your cousin

If your wife is decent and you trust her with your last breath, you don't need to panic

If she wants to sleep with another man, she will do so even while you are leaving in Nigeria

So even if you get a room self contain for your cousin to pack out, they will meet when they want to meet

So, just talk to your wife by advising her and that's all

Who go cheat go cheat



Even at that, you cant keep fish with rat and expect it not to eat it. Let him do his part. If d wife shud go ahead and cheat, na she sabi
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Belemahue: 11:17am On Apr 15, 2022
[quote author=cj1900 post=111957504]Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof. Why not install IP cameras in the house and active motion detection at every sensitive point in your house then get backup power supply.
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Owopariola01: 11:17am On Apr 15, 2022
If possible, let your wife bring her male sibling to join you. Or your cousin should bring his girlfriend.
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Chujor1634(m): 11:18am On Apr 15, 2022
Guy, If your wife will cheat, she definitely will. Except there's sth you've noticed or you know about your cousin bro's lifestyle that you ain't cool with, then that's ok.

Also, your wife, does it mean she's that loose or what. If that's the case, it means she is capable of cheating on you the times you weren't around. And send you bro far won't change anything. Also, what if your wife no fancy that your cousin bro, she fit dey help herself elsewhere.

Have you thought about the positive aspect of leaving your cousin there, that's if the dude wants to even stay, I doubt. Your family for the time being will be under his protection and void of any form of harassment. The guy can also give you some sort of situations report should there be any form of nasty movement from your wife since the trust you have for her is the paper type.

Renting an apartment for him to stay far off is very good, but, if there is anything that would happen, the distance won't stop two grown adults at all.

My advice, Find out from you bro his plans when you eventually travel back. That will help you with your decision making. Also, find out from your wife is she's ok with you traveling back while your cousin bro still around.

Nonetheless, try and bring in any domestic worker or any of her siblings or relatives. Even if I know that won't stop anything from not happening, but at least, it will keep ur wife away from unnecessary loneliness in the compound.

1 Like

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by limcar: 11:18am On Apr 15, 2022
oodua1stson:
don't leave your wife with anybody oooo.


My former landlord who left his wife in Nigeria na every night man de come sleep with her for the house
you too slept with her

1 Like

Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by Eriokanmi: 11:18am On Apr 15, 2022
cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.
It's not you, who would be seeking help here, if the story is true. Women always love their privacy. It's your wife who would be coming to you countless times and be telling you to send your cousin away. This is what every responsible wife would do to keep her home.

For instance, if any mature male visitor comes to visit us and stays beyond one week, my wife could be telling me stylishly,oga, when is your visitor leaving...doesn't he have any responsibility on his shoulders? What plans do you have for him? etc. My wife is the type that can wear only panties and bra in the house, while doing her chores. She's also very busty. She could wear only a top without a bra and she'd be comfortable and free. The moment an outsider joins, ordinary staying in the living room, she must package herself with bra and all that.

So, if your wife isn't showing any red flag towards your cousin, send him packing immediately. He'd undestand

But if your wife is comfortable with him staying without complaining, then you should worry. Like I said, every responsible wife doesn't joke with her privacy.
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by suffering: 11:19am On Apr 15, 2022
When you find out, let me know.
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by PHIPEX(m): 11:19am On Apr 15, 2022
It's good you trust her but dont leave her alone with a Cousin not even your brother for that long. It's either they get too close or they will fight each other.

Do not set up a temptation for either of them, anyone can fall unintentionally. At worst, bring in another person to join them.
Re: Help-is It OK To Leave Wife And Cousin Alone In One House? by BobPRESS5(m): 11:22am On Apr 15, 2022
You have the final say!
You can leave them if that's the only available option.

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