Romanoff:
Sis.

It looks to me like you married too early and that's why you're tired.

You probably missed out on that youthful phase of your life, hence the need to be single again.

Your husband is amongst the 2% that are faithful and the 40% that are not physically and verbally abusive to their spouses.

Men full outside but the probability of getting another man as good as your husband is very slim. Forget that you're saying you're done with marriage, when loneliness hits you, you will understand why two are better than one.

Seek counselling if you must, help your husband become better in this one flaw he has,it is doable.

You honestly do not understand the value of the man you have..

Treasure your husband o, na nonsense full outside.

Men full out side? How many of them still wants to carty a womans burden? Or better still, how many of them will be foolish enough to marry a divorcee with 4 kids? Are you the men wey full outside? Abi men no get choice again?

The OP to me is not looking for another husband. She knows she will lose badly if thats what she wants. She clearly wants to be FREE and SINGLE again so she can Bleep around without the guilt of being married and who.ring. she is clearly bored with same guy..which is normal.

I dont think she needs advice. She should get the divorce and enjoy her life. I have seen it play out a lot in this lagos. The husband just need to not let her back into his life again after when she must have been bleeped by many and dumped..then wants to return home.

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

Madam many women are looking for your kind of husband. Learn not to be offending and arguing with your husband many men don't like it. You have known that he doesn't get angry easily but you keep on offending and arguing with him which he doesn't like. Please give him peace of mind your husband not a spirit but a human being and thank God for the kind of husband you have.

Kobojunkie:
If love is for you the only right reason for marriage, that's all fine and good for you. But it isn't the only right reason for marriage and not all marriages are built on love. So it is kinds skewed to attempt to judge all marriages on love as standard for marriage when it isn't.

As for Solomon, Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines, not baby mamas, this since Solomon only had about 8 children in total. These women were not baby mamas.

So what marriage built on?

Solomon had 700 wives and only 8 kids? OK now. lol

like I said its my philosophy I'm not saying everyone or anyone should follow me. I have my own goals and direction I can't speak for other people and what they want in life.

She want validation from us. She is bored and want to experience the street. Ho.e phase dey worry her. She go regret her decision when responsibility down on her, it's just a matter of time.

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

This one will soon end up on the streets prostituting.

janejjjjj5000:
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed.

Then the only solution for you is to marry PAPA. since you are so sure he is perfect if you ask me i can't think of anybody

Kobojunkie:
Stop deceiving yourselves!

Marriage is not a measure of your success in life as an individual. You are better off a happy individual with history of crashed marriages to your record than a miserable individual holding tight to your marriage certificate.

I am only advocating for the Man because according to her, that Man is a Nice Man

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

Have a heart to heart talk with him when he is in good mood.

Some men don't even apologise when they are wrong.

33 years old? She's still girl and not a woman. Leave her jor... O feh dooko niyen ooo

Nuelzi:
What exactly does this gender want?

Sorry to say this but if what you wrote up there is true then permit me to say that you don't really know what you want

- you pointed out these qualities that most men lack yet you don't want to hold onto him.

E be like say e get niqqa wey you dey eye somewhere na why you wan dropout

Nobody should quote me....na my mind I talk,I no stone person

Real matters.

Maybe the hubby should raise his bad boy skill to 5 degree then we wouldn't be having this convo.

Hassanmaye:

You have nailed it bro my married ex just two years is disturbing now but I don't have her time

how, explain pls

Beremx:
very deep one you said. How are you doing btw?

Cool.

reddingtonblack:
1. that was a rap! seems someone dropped from the sky, if you are fully aware with whats happening in our society who will know the reason we have so many crumbling marriages today is cos of underserving people venturing into marriage, there are people whose personality don't just fit into marriage and these is where merit comes in.

2. Like i said, peace is relative to what you call it, buh the only place real peace exist is 6ft below, whether single or married you will alway have something you are chasing or chasing you, except you be NFA

3. As vital as peace of mind is to ones health, no man is an island which means the world revolves around co existing & interrelationship. what people fail to realize is that the major peace you can get comes from you innerly, whatever partners provide should be supplementary.

4. i think Op's mindset is being propelled by her illusions, when we are inside we think so much is happening outside until you reach outside then you see its all fantasy

1. Marriages crumbling is a sign that standards are changing hopefully for the better. People finally realizing that marriage is not for everyone and there is absolutely no reason to sit tight in a toxic relationship, in the name of marriage, is a good thing.

2. Again, peace exists in this life. If you are in a hot situation where you have no peace, it means you are not were peace is. Those in the grave have no peace since they are dead and cannot discern such things. Only the living csn discern peace from chaos.

3. Even in relationship, if you have none of what you refer to as "inner" peace, what you have chaos aka stress, a killer of men. If it takes you becoming an island for you to live stress free, it is better to do just that than be in hurry to enter your grave.

4. She mentioned two important things that you conveniently overlooked. Her children are being affected emotionally by her husband's tantrums, and she herself seems emotionally drained to the point she believes it better to be single than continue to endure. That there is not a woman who has peace in her marriage.

Topmaike007:
I am only advocating for the Man because according to her, that Man is a Nice Man

Yes, He is a nice man who likely emotionally and verbally abuses op and his children.

janejjjjj5000, If what you are describing here is a case of emotional or verbal abuse, I suggest you first separate yourself and your kids from your husband and seek counseling for the kids and with him(professional marriage counselling) afterwards. .

What a rotten excuse to leave marriage

LesbianBoy:


Guyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

You just talk wetin I wan talk which kain wahala be this na

Omo, if person talk now they would say "you hate women" but the truth is that, as a man it's good to be very cautious with that gender because Most (I didn't say all o) are always up to no good and don't love men genuinely.

And I like where you said men should stop marrying because I don talk am here many times. Marriage is becoming a scam to men o.

And the part where you said the poor guy knee down propose make me laugh. I come dey imagine the day when him propose. He would now run to social media and post "my babe said yes bla bla bla". Now look at how she is repaying him.

I feel olosho don enter her eyes so she fit dey cash out from mumu guys with money

Like Seriously, i am weeping for we men, Seriously we re supposed to be pampered cus we suffer alot to bring these daughters of eve afloat.

What pain me most is the unworthy accolades we gives these descendants of eve while men are relegated to trashes.


Can u her the op, she said she want to face her children, oponu buruku, as if she's the one that took care of the financial burden of those children til this stage.

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

Am glad that your husband is a wonderful man

If his anger attitude is what you find as a fault in him, then it's obvious you just want to be separated from him for some time

Well, follow your heart if that is what will make you happy

But he may have gotten another woman in that gap and don't blame him if he moves on

By the time you may wish to come back, you will be treated like a second class wife

So I will advise you remain in that marriage as I see no faults in that man

Unless you are in love with one man that has been telling you sweet words

[quote author=janejjjjj5000 post=112173007]Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.[/quote

After reading your post, I did not see any single point you made other than you are a di.k lover that tasting of different d.ks dey hungry you. I doubt if your do called husband is the father of your children. You are a suspect from your statement that you are not far from being adulterous. I pity the good man call your husband. Let him go and conduct paternity test on the children.

From the picture you have painted of your marriage, it's a good one. Most women are looking for such a husband as yours. If u were able to cope for 14 yrs, what happened suddenly? It's either there's a man you want to switch over to, or your friends are deceiving you because they are envious of your peaceful marriage.
Keep your marriage if you like, except you just want to be a free woman for all men. The truth is always bitter.

See this one just say you want do olosho and you don't want to feel guilty abi which kind rubbish be this

Winneygirl:


This is your main issue.
You married too young. Probably at 18. You had not lived life, and now you think that if your eyes were more open when you got married, you probably would not have chosen him as a husband.
You want to do in your 30s what you should have done in your 20s.
You sound like Your life revolves around your children and husband. You want to break free.
I will advise that you and your husband see a family therapist. A counselor to help you navigate your marriage(not a pastor or religious figure oo).
Then set aside a day or two monthly when you can have alone time. Take some space, go to a beach, go relax and just see the world.
Your husband needs the same thing.
Then set aside a day or two to go somewhere with your hubby alone. Spend time together away from your kids and rekindle your love.
Also learn to have your kids spend some time with inlaws etc so you can have a quiet house.
Let me warn you...The "freedom" you are looking for outside your marriage is not worth the trouble. Beta people no pass 2 again for this Nigeria.

Na so e bad reach @ Beta people no pass 2 again for this Nigeria.

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

perhaps what you need is a timeout. Like go for a vacation to feel refreshed

janejjjjj5000:
I am tired. I have a better view of marriage. He is not meeting up. My children are saying that the way he talks when upsets affects them. The children cry and he apologizes to all of us. I know I sound confused but I am just tired. I feel that my children will not be seeing this when we divorce. That is why I don't want the marriage anymore. I just want all round peace. I am tired.

My children this-my children that!
How are u even sure you will go with any of the children should you get divorced from your husband?

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

You no get problem at all.

DoctorOlasDesk:



Na so e bad reach @ Beta people no pass 2 again for this Nigeria.

Na only 2 o.
1. Me
2. ........fill in the gap.

You better value what you have on till you loose it.

BEFORE YOU PACK YOUR LOAD, MAKE SURE YOU RESTITUTE ALL THE MONEY HE SPENT IN YOUR WEDDING DAY.

janejjjjj5000:
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed.

Why not stop what is making him shout. He cannot be shouting for no reason.

janejjjjj5000:
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed.

Madam hear yourself, look at the yardstick you are using for your marriage... Lol Papa said this and that.. please Biko walk away from your husband ooo... U really don't know what you want. If Papa and Mama have not had their first arguments does that mean they don't have issues or serious issues between them in their marriage. I have stayed with many pastors many like married pastors and u have seen many issues and small fights,some even excalate to something else. No marriage is without issues.
What's your own role in aggravating your husband. There is no reaction without a cause, so deeply ask yourself what am I doing that makes my husband fume like this even in the presence of your children and later still apologize to you because he loves and respects you. For heaven God go just dey look you say Lucifer done dial this one number she go soon pick the call. You mean after 14 yrs you still don't know how to get your husband to behave and u still don't know him and how to address this issue... Shaking my head... Go oooo leave your marriage and look for a man that will not shout.. shouting some people is an expression not that they are even toxic .. for me I see nothing wrong with your husband, just that you guyz needs to talk.. stop comparing your marriage with that of your papa in the lord you are not living with them, do you know what the marriage has gone through...

I have come to conclusion that the female gender is useless and I won't marry

If u live that Man U will burn in hell!! What do women want? He don’t cheat! I believe u because women are perfect in investigation! U think dating with kids in Nigeria is easy!! Young men will use and dum u like useless paper!! That is if u have the money oo!! Be careful Kees your ass right their!! I don’t want to call u a mumu woman ooo!

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

With the current state of the country,so there is still a man out there that get angry only 3 times a year and our madam here have issues with him