StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

It will not be good if you don’t marry her corpse and try to keep the child.
The traditional right is mainly for you to go with your family and few villagers and pay her bride price, you will send them money to make food and then buy the necessary traditional things(yams etc).
You stole their daughter, you may have to contend with their village ancestors and it’s not funny ohhh

Hamachi:
Oga! 3 straight years you couldn't pay her bride price but was hitting her endlessly, you will marry the corpse SIMPLE!

COMPAQ:


Depends on the mindset of the girls people. If it's just to pay bride price to honour the girls and everybody goes their separate ways fine.

Some will try to hold you after paying that you are their inlaw and be making financial demands and wanting to come stay in your house etc. If they have that mindset, no pay o. Cos na problem be that.

They only need him to do and pay the bride price, not even to do a traditional wedding. Maybe the way the whole thing sounded made OP think he's going to spend plenty money

jamesversion:


You killed someone's sister and you're saying the family should go to the mortuary to collect her corpse for burial. You never jam wahala before. E get the people e go be, buy now your life would have been on the line.

like the way you killed your mother? or about to kill your slût of a mother?

Alexgeneration:


You seem to forget that you're dealing with Africans in Africa.

A convict is currently a Governor, Judges residence were raided, courts of coordinate jurisdiction give different judgments to different bidders, Orji Uzor is a free man today etc. I mentioned these cases to let you know that the family can DEAL with the OP and absolutely nothing will happen.

You can speak all the English language you want but if he dares steps into that village without doing what they told him to do, he might not live to tell the tale.


P.S Notifying them of the death doesn't rule out culpability.

The fact that she was sick was a public knowledge to the family. You should understand. These are issues I solve at work everyday. Everyone is spiritual in their own way and in their own cultural practices which gives room to relativism.
You don't relate civil wrong/matter with criminal matter. They're different things.

This guy is just stupiid. If na me sister, ur body go tell you

maximizer61:
This guy is just stupiid. If na me sister, ur body go tell you

At the end After your gra gra, I go tell you to marry the corpse yourself.. nothing you go fit do.
by the way your father is stupid

StilmaVsborn2w,save yourself the stress of seeking for advise on this platform. Meet your parent or the elders of your family to seek their view on the situation on ground. They have advised you in the past and you refused their advise and you chose your way. Now it is time for you to follow whatever they say. You can only care and protect your son when you are live and healthy.

Signum:


You are not serious. I think you are the stubborn type. You don't want to say where this is happening yet you want our advice.

Well, the elder brother has told you all you need to hear. Goan pay her bride price to retain ur son and live in peace.. otherwise, not only they will take the boy, ur life is even in danger! Look at it this way, they are right to accuse you of killing their daughter and they'll hunt you.

Look for a black goat while there's still daylight.

If you like, keep wallowing in stubbornness.

I don't know of other things they can do. But it is unconstitutional to take his boy. Court won't allow that

michresakidjo:



Cohabitation is not culturally allowed but in case of a scenario like this... No dowry payment. Not at all. Let alone marrying her dead body. What matter is the child the woman left behind.

Payment of dowry and marrying of dead body is a pure rituals. The latter part though. This s subhuman cultural beliefs should be binned.

The issue is more than you see at face value..
There's a child involved..
Culturally the family does not recognize his rights over the child..
Let him do as he pleases..
But he should be aware that they can make the child disappear and not heard of from him again..
If he does his worst,he should be ready expect the worst from them.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

No I won't

Don't pay any yeye bride price,why would you pay for someone dead?so you should lose twice?let them do their worse.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

I don't believe in curses, A man can not define my fate in life..I was more concerned about my son that's why I brought it here.
I fear no man

I like your energy.

Aint no way I would ever consider marrying a corpse. Not in this life, not in the next.

But you'll have to be smart about it. Go talk to your inlaw, there has to be another way around it.

Let them know its against your culture to marry a corpse. Tell them you'll rather have them billed you for the dowry and talk about how y'll can coparents your child.

Shikena

Be diplomatic, not hard headed.

I know you're stressed from her passing and my condolences. People here can't put themselves in your shoe and see the stress in your messages.

You didn't plan that to happen but it did, and there will alwsys be away around any issues.

Stay strong.

Chidi2022:
You never see case .... Lmao..... please come to my village and try something like this, then you tell us that its our responsibility to come pick our daughter from the mortuary.... Am from ORLU LGA, IMO STATE..
Then you will know that even wife that you married legally, when she dies, whether she dies young or old, there are some requirements to be fulfilled before she is buried... If you want to help OP, tell him to go back to his MOTHER and KINSMEN and seek for wise counsel... because if the kasala burst finish, nobody on nairaland will save his ass or donate a dime to him. Nairaland gra gra will not solve anything or bury the dead..

Are all cultural practices good irrespective of the tribe? I want you to answer this honestly- ranging from drinking water used in bathing corpse and lots more?
Op stated in his post having demonstrated good faith by financing her healthcare by the virtue of sharing a love child with her and not kinship. He's still indebted to individual or groups. Let's be realistic about things and not cause him emotional or mental imbalance. Put yourself in his shoes and walk a while.

StilmaVsBorn2w:
can you read what you typed? bloody illiterate

Na olodo like you wey no go understand say na Pidgin. U thinksay e easy to write in Pidgin. Ewure.

OBJ approved Pidgin language during his tenure na certified illiterate like you wey no go understand am. Olodo

OH MY GOD

Why are a lot of you here so sentimental? why must u apply emotion to every logical dialogue? a lot OF you are blaming this guy cos he was bashing d bae..he ought to have married her and now he must marry her cos the family demanded..this is the sole reason why the african blacks will always be backward

when the lady in question was living with d guy..feeding off him and possibly sending money to her family..no one talked even the so called family didn't say anything, when she bore him d son..d family didn't say anything nor hold their daughter back, now when she was sick ..no help came from her family den she died and all of a sudden ..this family without shame started demanding for brides price? are u people insane or what ?

paying her bride price against d man's wish, will do what exactly? this is what u get from a broke and poverty mentality, if this family is rich they bury their beloved daughter and respect her..but NO, they are still hoping to cash out from her dead..its a shame..forget the tradition nonsense..the tradition that couldnt do anything while she was alive is now active at death ..YOU PEOPLE ARE MAD

AS FOR YOU OP..u bleeped up..i know if she is alive ,,u will still marry her wen ur ready..but now that she is dead..hear me..the FAMILY CANT DO NOTHING..if they go court you will get d custody of the child ..just go and save small money incase of any case..

as for juju matter..they cant do nothing..unless u make urself available..its not ur decision to bury her..if they cant bury their daughter..leave them ..no one should force u to do anything ..unless u wana do it..na poverty dey breed some nonsense


that i make love with my babe doesnt mean dat automatically she is my wife..after all it takes too to tangle..if na d guy die ..will his family Mandate the girl to marry his corpse and stay with his family..u people should stop putting emotion in everything..

THE OTHER DAY Yul married a second wife and every body all a sudden started having opinion on anther person life..shey finally d first wife don accept the whole thing ..now tell me who is now d fool ..LETS ALL LEARN TO MIND OUR BUSINESS..if you must advice..do it LOGICALLY AND NOT SENTIMENTALLY

if THIS IS MY SISTER ..I WOULD AV TOOK HER BACK WEN SHE WAS PREGANT OR MANDATE THE DUDE TO MARRY HERE OR FORGET ABOUT HERE

so as DAVIDO OR WIZKID DEY..IF ANY OF THEIR BABY MAMA DIE NOW..THEN THEY MUST PAY BRIDE PRICE BEFORE THEY WILL CLAIM THEIR KIDS? I SWEAR POVERTY BAD

Very arrogant teenager.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

No I won't

Felimax:
You just can't run away from it. Don't be a fool.

So the beautiful late woman who bore you a son does not deserve to be honoured as your wife and you have kept her till death?

Go and do the needful, respect that young woman.
We always tell people to be very careful. Why should a woman stay with you when you know you have not married her? Why

Can't she come spend some time and go back? Must you keep her like your sex slave? If I format your brain with punchslap, you will go and do the needful.

Rubbish talk. Did OP force the woman to keep staying in his home? Op was helping the family feed their daughter until she died. Op has no fault

T0T0fucker:

Simp assz licking niggas.

Op, nor mind this fool!

Nothing him and his family fit do you...nor go borrow money marry death body o.
Infact leave his sister for the mortuary, make you travel out live your life.

When them ready they go carry the dead body

Na this comment so na e make cat Dey come Dey cry for your window for night so! Ozuor

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

Let me educate you small. The tribe is inconsequential. Firstly, a man has to pay a bride price for a woman for her to be called his wife. Even Jacob worked for 7 years and was given Leah. He put in another 7years to get his hearthrob Rachel. Now to you, Nothing was done on her head both customarily and otherwise. You kept her as a friend, you impregnated her, she bore a son. You never deem it fit to meet her people, until she became sick and died.
The son you have with her is not yours since she is not married to you. For you to get the boy, you must do the necessary things. Secondly, the truth is that the girls family is enlightened if not, you will be writing this from police cell. Yes and I mean it cos by now you go dey explain what someone's daughter who is not your wife has been doing in your house to d extent of even dying in your care.

Felimax:


Teenager my ass! So you expect me to pity your display of stupidity?
You that is not a teenager look at the nonsense you have been saying since morning.

You nor get mind you go keep woman for house without marrying her and you want to be praised after killing her. Thunder wey go strike you dey come. Wizard!

Bros no vex, na your sister? You too take am personal

LadyRosa:



Why you no borrow marry her?

Since him na borrow borrow minister.

@ op, please, try and sort it out with the family.
The outcome of defaulting is not always nice.

May the God of your hearth guide you through this turbulence face.

U supposed tell out the tribe,so those people wey love dey shack go do the needful,have been warn of this thank God I hear word

Those people are good people seff....by now they ought to have invoked their village ojuju to be appearing to you in your dreams..you will not have the strength to come here to ask for advice

StilmaVsBorn2w:

No I won't

Then u let go of the child or u let go of him in death. Whichever way u must pay her bride price or give them the child, dats d only way u can have peace.

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

That is the price of sexual immorality you have to pay.
If you have married her under marriage act, there would have been less problem . I hope you have copy of death certificate signed by a qualified doctor. Talk to a lawyer and while doing that keep the child with your reliable family member.
All the best.

For your own good,look for a way to settle her kinsmen even if you need to borrow just hold about 10k and you are free from what will befall you in the future most especiallyif its an igbo lady .forget your ego and do the needful

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Since you followed me to nairaland, I still stand on my ground. I can't marry your sister corpse joseph.

The money I spent for hospital bills loans I took, what assistance did you provide? Nothing.
But I took it uphon myself to save her, you think threatening me on the phone and commenting here will break me .
Come and do your worst.

AdaAwka1:


Then u let go of the child or u let go of him in death. Whichever way u must pay her bride price or give them the child, dats d only way u can have peace.

Did he kill the woman? Useless tradition. Why did you see in your bible that living persons can marry dead?

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

Nothing like marrying her corpse but you must pay her bride price before you have assess to the boy. This is commonly obtainable in African culture even in your culture or wherever you may have come from. I don't know what is happening to you young chaps nowadays, you carry a woman and just cohabit with her. This is not America where such is obtainable. Bride price is pride price and not white wedding or traditional wedding that you got to spend much. You took someone's else daughter without legally fulfilling the commonest aspects of rights to have her in her tradition.
What they are saying is that, without you fulfilling paying of the bride price, you can't take ownership of the child. They can win you back to back in the court. Our customary court demands that. But I don't see this as you marrying a corpse. You already referred to her as your wife and mother of your son. Fulfill that aspects you couldn't do now that she is late. It doesn't need any special ceremony but the money and other requirements. I hope you don't make that mistakes again. This is like a three years living together not three days. Be a man you are.

The voice of wokeness will say ; don't marry the corpse ,this is 2022 , such traditions are babaric and should be done away with.


But then again, I can understand the angle the tradition is coming from.This is a deterrent to babymamaism and live- in lovers .

There are certain things beyound our control as humans and it's uncessary to probe why you didn't marry her when she was alive instead of cohabiting. But the best you can do now is relay the message to your family members and kins men.Even if you want to refuse,you need a support system especially from the elders in your family. And don't prove stubborn should your kins men decide you go ahead and pay the bride price.

Goodluck.

DON'T MARRY ANY NONSENSE CORPSE, SHE WAS SICK AND DIED , NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU HAVE NOTIFIED HER PEOPLE OF HER DEATH, DONATE WHAT YOU CAN TOWARDS HER BURIAL. TAKE YOUR SON FAR AWAY FROM SUCH BACKWARD PEOPLE. IF HER FAMILY COMES FOR PEACE TALK ,TALK WITH THEM, IF THEY DO GRA GRA IGNORE THEM ITS YOUR SON. NON OF THEM CAN TAKE CARE OF YOUR SON LIKE YOU.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Why would I carry it to the village..?
It's already in the morgue, for her people arrival, it's their daughter.
Have done my most vital parts borrowing money to save her now am in debts, if you want me to marry her corpse because am scared. My brother your wrong.

StilmaVsBorn2w:
At the end After your gra gra, I go tell you to marry the corpse yourself.. nothing you go fit do.
by the way your father is stupid

Good day, if you are indeed grieving, you won't respond this way no matter the provocation. You came here for advice so you must be circumspect with your response. There is a way you should have responded to comments and i will be moved to sent you a DM requesting for your account details ( few thousands will still be helpful no matter how little it is), i know you need financial help now.

I once knocked a man of about 80 years down and he was in the hospital for over 2 weeks. He already has heart issue and diabetes so it wasn't easy for me, i spent over 250k in the hospital so i have been in a delicate situation. God will help you but try and be more matured with your comments, thank you.

T0T0fucker:

AH joseph, if you loved your sister that much why didn't you all assist the op for the hospital bills. Instead you are trying to make money on top a dead body.
God forbid for some families

n you think the bride price must run into millions.

The bride price might just be significant. Respect the dead.