₦airaland Forum

NoMansLand1:
Marriage has many benefits, only when you marry a better person, but never ever in your life marry any Yoruba woman, they are parasite, they don't have money. Don't say i did not warn you.

but Yoruba women have big bumbum and I like big bumbum

Phock2sweet:
becos dog no get money.....hahaha

Men sha don suffer for this life.

Women are this, women are that…


The fact is if these women had the privilege men had, they will be okay and y’all will respect them.


Dimwits everywhere.

Ezemeiyogu:
Nothing but I'm getting married anyway.

Life sef dey confuse me. Why come at all when it's certain we go still die, yet we do everything possible to live now just to die later. Isn't that more worrisome?

good for thought

Ebubu2:
Absolutely nothing

The BENEFITS can only be known when the Real marriage starts.
Sometimes some marriages end in anguish & such would have completely negated its premeditated benefits. People now kill spouses.

I think, BRIDE PRICE & exchange of gifts should be done at least 10 years into any marriage, since people of nowadays have affinity for landing bad products. MARRIAGE Is never known until practiced. IF marriages were entirely rosy & filled with blessings as purported, then there wouldn't be divorce in the first place...

Ezemeiyogu:
Nothing but I'm getting married anyway.

Life sef dey confuse me. Why come at all when it's certain we go still die, yet we do everything possible to live now just to die later. Isn't that more worrisome?

food for thought

Not Much Benefits.

Many decades from now, marriage as we know it would not exist.

Omoo, this is a deep question o.

The responses here is enough reason why divorce is rampant in our generation. How can someone start a topic, what is the benefit of marriage?

For one thing marriage is not meant to have any benefit, people shouldn't get married because they want to get something from the union. Women are not baby making machines either and men shouldn't feel obligated to get married.

However, marriage is one of the oldest institutions in the world. People were meant to marry for love, in fact people eloped to have secret marriages when the odds were against them.

If you're marrying because you want something out of it, you will be disappointed and you will leave your wife. If you stay, it would just be like sharing a house. When you decide that you want to marry, it means every part of you wants to be with that person, you don't want to share them with another. You're laying a claim on your love and letting everyone know that you chose that person. Well that's for genuine love.

But if you set out on a mission to find a life partner, well that's like every business contract. It will end, you will lose interest, you won't find its value because it didn't happen naturally. You decided okay I'm looking for a girl, I'm checking out her properties, can I wife her? All that is a project, what do you expect like any other business arrangement? You expect her to give you kids, care for your home cook and do the tumble.

No genuine love, nothing. Some people even marry for status. Some for the gram.. every minute a picture for the perfect family. Well that's a benefit for them. If you're marrying for anything other than love, im sorry you're in for a rough start.

BabaIbo:
Marriage they say is a beautiful thing but if you ask many men out there what marriage is to them or what marriage has brought to them or will they get married if they are given chances to rewind time, their responses will be in negative form or NO.

That same step(marriage) is the next step to be taken by me but I have one unanswered question. I am a young man in my 30s, currently free from any dating relationship and about to begin my search for a life partner, but I like being cleared/well-informed about something before going into it.

Pardon me for this long note I am about to dish out and the question I will be asking at the end.

For sometimes now, people around me have been telling me I am next in line to get married, some telling me to ensure I bring a responsible lady home and all that.
My mom do tell me she won't rush me to get married but as an observant person you will notice she really wants me to bring a woman(wife) home.

My dad told me sometimes ago that if I don't have a lady, that maybe they should search for a young good girl for me early next year.
My younger ones are expecting me to take that step so they can start planning on theirs and all that.

All these are for their own good or benefits, I am not saying they don't deserve it but I have been trying to get a tangible reason to get married i.e what is the SPECIAL thing(benefit) it will add to my life, I am the one getting married not them.
"Na me wan wear the shoe."

A bikeman, popularly known as Okadaman that do come to my place told me story about himself and big opportunities that marriage has made him miss.

In addition to his words and those I have heard from others, the fear of things going south, disappearance of peace of mind and all that are other factors.

Presumed(anticipated) benefits which are not as they are expected to be again are)

CHILDREN: Children can be gotten without marriage, for example: C. Ronaldo, Mikel, and others did that and they are doing well.

GOOD MEALS: Foods can be gotten from outside or prepared by the man or any other person that is not a wife for the man. Moreover, how many of them can cook well like our mothers? I'm a better cook than most ladies I have come across.

COMPANIONSHIP: That is an overstatement in our present society. It is even more noticeable in dating relationship than in some marriages these days.

SEX: That is the cheapest service/thing to get after air and water(clean water is even more expensive). Moreover many marriages are lacking sexually. It is worse if the man has high sex drive aka high libido.

SUPPORT: I don't want to go there because it is an open fact that instead of getting support, the man is being leached/milked of the one he has.

HOME: I can still remember how some married men will pack their cars at the junction, stay inside their cars for long before driving home, some go to the bar/relaxation centers to chill before going home, some don even like going home. You all know why?

With all these in mind, I want to ask this question that has been bothering me because I need to sort it before taking the step...

Now, my question is "WHAT IS THE BENEFIT OF MARRIAGE TO A MAN IN THIS OUR TIME?"

PS: I used this image because what marriage did to the man in the picture is in the open

there is no benefit in marrying a Nigeria woman (those piece of shiit)

But there is a whole lot of benefits in marrying w foreigner.

Ask the foolish married men out there

Those Simps are just dying in silent.

Sweetplum:
Companionship & Procreation.
Go n read Genesis to know more.

Look at number 3

pappilo:
Bro whatever you do, do not, I repeat, do not get married! You will always regret it. I love my late dad, he was the best dad anyone could ask for but if I see him in the afterlife, I will ask him why he never told me the truth about marriage and advise me no to get married.

Love someone (with sense), have children, live together but never ever sign your life away. Finally do not let any woman you are with know everything about you.

The first thing that deteriorates after marriage is your sex life. I think its a psychological thing. Maybe the subconscious feeling that you've both got each other for 'life' messes with the brain.

I was married for 14 years. My ex-wife started a relationship with a work colleague and a month after using the police to kick me out of my house, the dude left his own family and moved into my house.

I was charged with several offences for an altercation I had with the guy when I caught him in my house. My ex-wife (we were still married at the time) the mother of my children came to the crown court to testify against me on his behalf. The jury saw through their lies and determination to send me to prison and acquited me on all charges (over 5)

Its been a few years but I still shudder at the thought that I believed so much in this woman and chose her over my own siblings.

Attached is msg I got from her this morning. This is despite her taking the house which I put
down 66% of the deposit. This woman earns almost double what I earn and I pay her over a quarter of my net earnings for child maintenance.

You'll probably still go ahead and get married but its almost guaranteed that one day in the future you will look back and wish you heeded the advice of many people who told you not to

My gawd, if you what you just wrote is actually true, and not fiction, then it must have been a really torrid experience.

Honestly, I sympathise with you, as nobody will ever wish to go through such.

Thank God you were eventually vindicated.

One just have to be very careful about choosing a lifetime partner.

Nazgul:
Marriage became useless to men because we abandoned our culture and tradition and embraced that of the Western world.

When you start sleeping with girls from the age of 16 and have a body count of close to 50 girls by the time you're 30, what usefulness do you expect to get from marriage? Truth is even you the man wouldn't value the marriage and would immediately resume your sexcapade after your honeymoon

The only way to restore decorum in African marriages is to embrace back our culture.

Pre marital sex must be seen as an abomination, those who practice it would be banished from their community.

Virginity test should be one of the requirements a girl must possess before marriage can take place, this will reduce promiscuity in girls.

A law should be passed that ràpists would earn in instant death sentence upon conviction. This would reduce promiscuity in guys cos no one would be willing to risk his life for a few minutes of pleasure.

Also there should be laws governing marriages that would make unfaithful partners risk jail term.

Once this measures can be put in place, I strongly believe that marriages would become as rosy as it was meant to be. And wouldn't be useless to both men and women.

Sigh... This ship has sailed sir! Forget it!

The future is upon us! The future where cohabitation rather than marriage will be the new norm!

Even churches who once frowned upon this now turn blind eyes to cohabiting couples!

BePrepared:
Your words are wise, when kids start having sex by the time marriage ought to be expected and enjoyed you hear these kinds of stuff.

I'm 31 I can't wait to be married, its like everything to me WHY?

I left off premarital sex and focused on building myself and now that I'm ready godly dating and marriage is exciting me.

You're 31, and it is like everything to you because you don't have any other thing to focus on.

I can still count the number of people(females) I had stuffs with and I think the first one was in my early twenties, lest for the daddy and mommy thing which we all know were not sex/penetration I did when I was young.

Hypocrite, you're not a virgin but you're calling others names. You don't have moral justification for that.

Kriss216:
Remove procreation, a woman is useless to a a man.

I hv being cracking my damn head about d benefits, but I can't even phantom anything. Marriage only favours women than men.
I can get babies without being married.
I

Kriss216:
Remove procreation, a woman is useless to a a man.

you can say that again but Lauder

OP call me 07087776267 I go gist you well well. Infact flash me and I go call you. If you won hear, I get gist to gist you.

teeshet:
get out of here. Useless and good for nothing gender

Useless man. I won't get out and you can't do anything.

Sunnyski:
That was in the genesis age, now we're in revelation age.
In this present dispensation marriage does more harm than good.

Then don't get married. No be by force

BabaIbo:
Marriage they say is a beautiful thing but if you ask many men out there what marriage is to them or what marriage has brought to them or will they get married if they are given chances to rewind time, their responses will be in negative form or NO.

That same step(marriage) is the next step to be taken by me but I have one unanswered question. I am a young man in my 30s, currently free from any dating relationship and about to begin my search for a life partner, but I like being cleared/well-informed about something before going into it.

Pardon me for this long note I am about to dish out and the question I will be asking at the end.

For sometimes now, people around me have been telling me I am next in line to get married, some telling me to ensure I bring a responsible lady home and all that.
My mom do tell me she won't rush me to get married but as an observant person you will notice she really wants me to bring a woman(wife) home.

My dad told me sometimes ago that if I don't have a lady, that maybe they should search for a young good girl for me early next year.
My younger ones are expecting me to take that step so they can start planning on theirs and all that.

All these are for their own good or benefits, I am not saying they don't deserve it but I have been trying to get a tangible reason to get married i.e what is the SPECIAL thing(benefit) it will add to my life, I am the one getting married not them.
"Na me wan wear the shoe."

A bikeman, popularly known as Okadaman that do come to my place told me story about himself and big opportunities that marriage has made him miss.

In addition to his words and those I have heard from others, the fear of things going south, disappearance of peace of mind and all that are other factors.

Presumed(anticipated) benefits which are not as they are expected to be again are)

CHILDREN: Children can be gotten without marriage, for example: C. Ronaldo, Mikel, and others did that and they are doing well.

GOOD MEALS: Foods can be gotten from outside or prepared by the man or any other person that is not a wife for the man. Moreover, how many of them can cook well like our mothers? I'm a better cook than most ladies I have come across.

COMPANIONSHIP: That is an overstatement in our present society. It is even more noticeable in dating relationship than in some marriages these days.

SEX: That is the cheapest service/thing to get after air and water(clean water is even more expensive). Moreover many marriages are lacking sexually. It is worse if the man has high sex drive aka high libido.

SUPPORT: I don't want to go there because it is an open fact that instead of getting support, the man is being leached/milked of the one he has.

HOME: I can still remember how some married men will pack their cars at the junction, stay inside their cars for long before driving home, some go to the bar/relaxation centers to chill before going home, some don even like going home. You all know why?

With all these in mind, I want to ask this question that has been bothering me because I need to sort it before taking the step...

Now, my question is "WHAT IS THE BENEFIT OF MARRIAGE TO A MAN IN THIS OUR TIME?"

PS: I used this image because what marriage did to the man in the picture is in the open

Marriage is overrated!!

Some of your points here are invalid

I'm an advocate of marriage, as long as it's devoid of societal pressure

* bringing back our culture will only bring about the old master-slave relationship kind of marriage that used to exist then.

* virginity test is trash, the presence of the hymen in the female genetalia has always been an indicator of virginity in women, coupled with the dinosaur mentality that a woman must bleed during her first sexual encounter. These are very wrong, bec
ause, it's very obvious that our current generation indulge in lots of sexual activities, while still identifying as Virgins, a lot of them indulge in anal s*x, oral s*x, lesbian s*x and a host of other kinds of sexual activities. And you feel a virginity test will be able to detect such lifestyle. Meanwhile, a lady who doesn't bleed on her first s*x encounter is labelled a LovePeddler right? So how does virginity test determine one marriage is going to be successful.

From your deductions you're of the belief that a happy marriage stems from being chaste, you're focusing on just one aspect of the foundations of a successful marriage, and creating a lack of balance. Both couples can be chaste but lack; Emotional maturity, mental maturity, spiritual maturity, financial maturity, etc to cope with the challenges that every marriage must face, these are equally important virtues one most posses before settling down with a partner, alongside sexual self control and discipline.

Sexual chastity alone doesn't guarantee an iota of success in your marriage. Both parties should have developed themselves in the fundamental areas of life before marriage should even be considered.

Nazgul:
Marriage became useless to men because we abandoned our culture and tradition and embraced that of the Western world.

When you start sleeping with girls from the age of 16 and have a body count of close to 50 girls by the time you're 30, what usefulness do you expect to get from marriage? Truth is even you the man wouldn't value the marriage and would immediately resume your sexcapade after your honeymoon

The only way to restore decorum in African marriages is to embrace back our culture.

Pre marital sex must be seen as an abomination, those who practice it would be banished from their community.

Virginity test should be one of the requirements a girl must possess before marriage can take place, this will reduce promiscuity in girls.

A law should be passed that ràpists would earn in instant death sentence upon conviction. This would reduce promiscuity in guys cos no one would be willing to risk his life for a few minutes of pleasure.

Also there should be laws governing marriages that would make unfaithful partners risk jail term.

Once this measures can be put in place, I strongly believe that marriages would become as rosy as it was meant to be. And wouldn't be useless to both men and women.

peggywebbs:
The responses here is enough reason why divorce is rampant in our generation. How can someone start a topic, what is the benefit of marriage?

For one thing marriage is not meant to have any benefit, people shouldn't get married because they want to get something from the union. Women are not baby making machines either and men shouldn't feel obligated to get married.

However, marriage is one of the oldest institutions in the world. People were meant to marry for love, in fact people eloped to have secret marriages when the odds were against them.

If you're marrying because you want something out of it, you will be disappointed and you will leave your wife. If you stay, it would just be like sharing a house. When you decide that you want to marry, it means every part of you wants to be with that person, you don't want to share them with another. You're laying a claim on your love and letting everyone know that you chose that person. Well that's for genuine love.

But if you set out on a mission to find a life partner, well that's like every business contract. It will end, you will lose interest, you won't find its value because it didn't happen naturally. You decided okay I'm looking for a girl, I'm checking out her properties, can I wife her? All that is a project, what do you expect like any other business arrangement? You expect her to give you kids, care for your home cook and do the tumble.

No genuine love, nothing. Some people even marry for status. Some for the gram.. every minute a picture for the perfect family. Well that's a benefit for them. If you're marrying for anything other than love, im sorry you're in for a rough start.

U may have done justice to a larger part of it.
U did well up there, however the question still stands and rare opinions may antagonize your views or further complement it.

There is no benefit however that shouldn't be the criteria for marriage. The number one priority or achievement of a male human is to have kids to pass down genes. Marriage is just to keep a strong foundation for the kids since they both need a male and female presence in the household.

Nazgul:
Marriage became useless to men because we abandoned our culture and tradition and embraced that of the Western world.

When you start sleeping with girls from the age of 16 and have a body count of close to 50 girls by the time you're 30, what usefulness do you expect to get from marriage? Truth is even you the man wouldn't value the marriage and would immediately resume your sexcapade after your honeymoon

The only way to restore decorum in African marriages is to embrace back our culture.

Pre marital sex must be seen as an abomination, those who practice it would be banished from their community.

Virginity test should be one of the requirements a girl must possess before marriage can take place, this will reduce promiscuity in girls.

A law should be passed that ràpists would earn in instant death sentence upon conviction. This would reduce promiscuity in guys cos no one would be willing to risk his life for a few minutes of pleasure.

Also there should be laws governing marriages that would make unfaithful partners risk jail term.

Once this measures can be put in place, I strongly believe that marriages would become as rosy as it was meant to be. And wouldn't be useless to both men and women.

The bolden is not valid because I am not the wayward type.
My first real sexual experience was in my 20s and my body count is not countless.
I have been celibate for over 3 to 4 years until man decided to ease stress late last year, and I am on it again.
Are you saying having sex once in 5 years is a wayward life?

I can see you stylishly exonerated your gender of any wrongdoing and put all the blames on men.

BTW, all these didn't stop the marital benefit women get because they enjoyed alot from it irrespective of their past lifestyles.

I can't say anything about your other points because it doesn't answer my question.

Again, your comment is not realistic, face the post realistically as it is and leave the "if" part.

Just mention the benefit and leave the "if" and other points you mentioned.

myke92:
My gawd, if you what you just wrote is actually true, and not fiction, then it must have been a really torrid experience.

Honestly, I sympathise with you, as nobody will ever wish to go through such.

Thank God you were eventually vindicated.

One just have to be very careful about choosing a lifetime partner.

I have no reason to lie. I am not claiming to be a saint and after peservering for a few years after our sex ife dried up, I looked outside and didnt look back. i was determined to stay in the marriage even though it was dead for the salke of the children (dumb move). She was a good woman for many many years so a good partner can go rogue.

I can understand people can stop loving each other but I can never get over the thought of a woman i had been with for 22 years (dated for 9 years - we were teenagers when we started) had no qualms about sending me to prison for her new flame.

Those were were the worst 2 years of my life. No home, had to move into shared accomodation, something I had never done in all my life in the abroad , had to sell my car and, took on so much debt to pay almost £20,000 in solicitor/barrister fees, took a second job doing 12 hours night shift in a factory. All this was going on with the prospect of prison time and a criminal record.

Those were really dark days and I contemplated suicide. The ironic thing is, it was a woman who helped me through those very dark times. i honestly believe if that woman wasnt in my life in that period, I wouldnt be here today.

I know this is a bit off topic. I am sorry but this is like therapy for me..

The sense wey full your head eh....Make your head no burst oh

Nazgul:
Marriage became useless to men because we abandoned our culture and tradition and embraced that of the Western world.

When you start sleeping with girls from the age of 16 and have a body count of close to 50 girls by the time you're 30, what usefulness do you expect to get from marriage? Truth is even you the man wouldn't value the marriage and would immediately resume your sexcapade after your honeymoon

The only way to restore decorum in African marriages is to embrace back our culture.

Pre marital sex must be seen as an abomination, those who practice it would be banished from their community.

Virginity test should be one of the requirements a girl must possess before marriage can take place, this will reduce promiscuity in girls.

A law should be passed that ràpists would earn in instant death sentence upon conviction. This would reduce promiscuity in guys cos no one would be willing to risk his life for a few minutes of pleasure.

Also there should be laws governing marriages that would make unfaithful partners risk jail term.

Once this measures can be put in place, I strongly believe that marriages would become as rosy as it was meant to be. And wouldn't be useless to both men and women.

A man is even more useless to a woman with or without procreation.

Kriss216:
Remove procreation, a woman is useless to a a man.

cococandy:
None. Don’t do it

Really?
Coco

If you already have this mindset towards marriage, I’d advise you don’t bother getting married else you’ll regret it. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed for both parties, as long as you pick rightly with God’s direction and guidance.

Kingcalls:
Women should be the ones on one knee begging men to marry them... marriage is the most expensive engagement for many man... cos he's expected to foot all bills...from wedding to house rent to transportation to feeding to hospital bills to school fees and clothing.... but still women will still have the audacity to insult and disrespect these men that are usually older than them... Still women are more celebrated than men

And when the children finally grows up and found their feet they will only be celebrating their mother and inviting her to their houses abroad. Can you imagine

peggywebbs:
The responses here is enough reason why divorce is rampant in our generation. How can someone start a topic, what is the benefit of marriage?

For one thing marriage is not meant to have any benefit, people shouldn't get married because they want to get something from the union. Women are not baby making machines either and men shouldn't feel obligated to get married.

However, marriage is one of the oldest institutions in the world. People were meant to marry for love, in fact people eloped to have secret marriages when the odds were against them.

If you're marrying because you want something out of it, you will be disappointed and you will leave your wife. If you stay, it would just be like sharing a house. When you decide that you want to marry, it means every part of you wants to be with that person, you don't want to share them with another. You're laying a claim on your love and letting everyone know that you chose that person. Well that's for genuine love.

But if you set out on a mission to find a life partner, well that's like every business contract. It will end, you will lose interest, you won't find its value because it didn't happen naturally. You decided okay I'm looking for a girl, I'm checking out her properties, can I wife her? All that is a project, what do you expect like any other business arrangement? You expect her to give you kids, care for your home cook and do the tumble.

No genuine love, nothing. Some people even marry for status. Some for the gram.. every minute a picture for the perfect family. Well that's a benefit for them. If you're marrying for anything other than love, im sorry you're in for a rough start.

Good, I like the angle you're coming from, but you failed to understand the question before answering it.... You missed the "IN OUR PRESENT TIME" in the question.
Now, ask yourself does the kind of love you stated in your response still exist.

Remember that kind of love is a sacrificial one OR let me say one with pain and not only enjoyment.

Both of us know a lot of people are complaining that the "for better for worse" part of the marriage vows should he removed, what does that tell you?

With all these in mind, one will be on the right course if he ask "what is in it for him..."

Sweetplum:
Companionship & Procreation.
Go n read Genesis to know more.
To all who are quoting me. Marriage isn't by force. Don't discourage those who value it.
I wonder how you all train those kids you had anyhow via baby mamas or surrogacy.
What's the value you instill in them. One of. Thee things destroying the world of today is lack of value. And its first gotten from homes.
So who are you all fooling?

Please leave the Bible out of it and respond with the facts....