₦airaland Forum

Sweetplum:
It is what it is?
And still what's it.
Companionship & Procreation. If you don't like marriage, it's not by force.

children and companionship that you the women also enjoy, if not more?
Shame on you, if you're truly a woman!
its women like you that would get married and be a liability or is already a 'parasitic wife'..
look at how you couldn't even say anything tangible, even if it was just to tell a lie!
Gosh!

GOD help men find good, industrious and wise women to marry !!!

My brother man, marriage comes with all form of life experience. The only thing I will say is that if you want to get married, make sure there is character and humility in that woman, else, everything will be nonsense to you. Also let her have a source of income because you might get drained financially, mentally and emotionally when the spending is getting out of hand

Nazgul:
Marriage became useless to men because we abandoned our culture and tradition and embraced that of the Western world.

When you start sleeping with girls from the age of 16 and have a body count of close to 50 girls by the time you're 30, what usefulness do you expect to get from marriage? Truth is even you the man wouldn't value the marriage and would immediately resume your sexcapade after your honeymoon

The only way to restore decorum in African marriages is to embrace back our culture.

Pre marital sex must be seen as an abomination, those who practice it would be banished from their community.

Virginity test should be one of the requirements a girl must possess before marriage can take place, this will reduce promiscuity in girls.

A law should be passed that ràpists would earn in instant death sentence upon conviction. This would reduce promiscuity in guys cos no one would be willing to risk his life for a few minutes of pleasure.

Also there should be laws governing marriages that would make unfaithful partners risk jail term.

Once this measures can be put in place, I strongly believe that marriages would become as rosy as it was meant to be. And wouldn't be useless to both men and women.

this is a very crazy input, but unfortunately, you’re right .



Well @ op babaibo , as you Dey think am naso me self Dey but I want to tell you something .

Pls and pls , when you finally see the person u one marry , and you notice some red flags you deeply know you can’t cope with , pls don’t take risk . I know no one is perfect , but pls and pls don’t take the risk .






Also look out for these qualities before you marry woman
1. Submission and appreciation mindset
2. Apologetic personality
3. Homely and respectful .

You see those three qualities will guarantee u peace of mind and healthy family.

And finally finally , pls and pls and pls babaibo


AVOID WOMEN RAISED BY DIVORCED SINGLE MOM( especially those whose mother have divorced more than once ))Forget talk talk , run as fast as your legs can carry you bro ..

pappilo:
Bro whatever you do, do not, I repeat, do not get married! You will always regret it. I love my late dad, he was the best dad anyone could ask for but if I see him in the afterlife, I will ask him why he never told me the truth about marriage and advise me no to get married.

Love someone (with sense), have children, live together but never ever sign your life away. Finally do not let any woman you are with know everything about you.

The first thing that deteriorates after marriage is your sex life. I think its a psychological thing. Maybe the subconscious feeling that you've both got each other for 'life' messes with the brain.

I was married for 14 years. My ex-wife started a relationship with a work colleague and a month after using the police to kick me out of my house, the dude left his own family and moved into my house.

I was charged with several offences for an altercation I had with the guy when I caught him in my house. My ex-wife (we were still married at the time) the mother of my children came to the crown court to testify against me on his behalf. The jury saw through their lies and determination to send me to prison and acquited me on all charges (over 5)

Its been a few years but I still shudder at the thought that I believed so much in this woman and chose her over my own siblings.

Attached is msg I got from her this morning. This is despite her taking the house which I put
down 66% of the deposit. This woman earns almost double what I earn and I pay her over a quarter of my net earnings for child maintenance.

You'll probably still go ahead and get married but its almost guaranteed that one day in the future you will look back and wish you heeded the advice of many people who told you not to

Sorry Bro, I emphatize with your pains.

The world has lost it (especially the Western world) when it signed everything over to the women. It has been going downhill since then, because women have not the emotional discipline to handle such overwhelming power over marital relationship. It has led to easy divorce, family destabilisation and a highly cynical and disenchanted group of children.

CamusMidas:
Please leave fairytale out of this.

So the Bible is fairytale to you?

BabaIbo:
Now, my question is "WHAT IS THE BENEFIT OF MARRIAGE TO A MAN IN THIS OUR TIME?"

PS: I used this image because what marriage did to the man in the picture is in the open

First of all, you don't know anything about will and Jada... absolutely nothing. So stop using their predicament as a yard stick.

If you want to remain single, do it quietly and stop trying to seek validation from anyone.

My prayer for you is that you don't turn out to be a goat r@pist.

MALIGNANTGuest:
The BENEFITS can only be known when the Real marriage starts.
Sometimes some marriages end in anguish & such would have completely negated its premeditated benefits. People now kill spouses.

I think, BRIDE PRICE & exchange of gifts should be done at least 10 years into any marriage, since people of nowadays have affinity for landing bad products. MARRIAGE Is never known until practiced. IF marriages were entirely rosy & filled with blessings as purported, then there wouldn't be divorce in the first place...

your suggestion would have been nice. But you know many parents won’t want to give out their child on such conditions, and if the terms don’t fit and she has to be returned ? She would have been slept with severally upon several times and may already have a kid or more children.


So what’s the purpose again, it’s just to kukuma pay the bride price for the sake of the kids.

Like your useless mother ?

teeshet:
get out of here. Useless and good for nothing gender

teeshet:
but Yoruba women have big bumbum and I like big bumbum

Bad niggar

peggywebbs:
The responses here is enough reason why divorce is rampant in our generation. How can someone start a topic, what is the benefit of marriage?

For one thing marriage is not meant to have any benefit, people shouldn't get married because they want to get something from the union. Women are not baby making machines either and men shouldn't feel obligated to get married.

However, marriage is one of the oldest institutions in the world. People were meant to marry for love, in fact people eloped to have secret marriages when the odds were against them.

If you're marrying because you want something out of it, you will be disappointed and you will leave your wife. If you stay, it would just be like sharing a house. When you decide that you want to marry, it means every part of you wants to be with that person, you don't want to share them with another. You're laying a claim on your love and letting everyone know that you chose that person. Well that's for genuine love.

But if you set out on a mission to find a life partner, well that's like every business contract. It will end, you will lose interest, you won't find its value because it didn't happen naturally. You decided okay I'm looking for a girl, I'm checking out her properties, can I wife her? All that is a project, what do you expect like any other business arrangement? You expect her to give you kids, care for your home cook and do the tumble.

No genuine love, nothing. Some people even marry for status. Some for the gram.. every minute a picture for the perfect family. Well that's a benefit for them. If you're marrying for anything other than love, im sorry you're in for a rough start.

long trash

Truth be said ...only 10 percent of today's Nigerian young ladies are marriageable

Because most of them are not loveable

@womenareapess and @savedday and @mosdll have finished work on educating us about them, they got noting to offer in relationships, useless

Maverick777:
children and companionship that you the women also enjoy, if not more?
Shame on you, if you're truly a woman!
its women like you that would get married and be a liability or is already a 'parasitic wife'..
look at how you couldn't even say anything tangible, even if it was just to tell a lie!
Gosh!

GOD help men find good, industrious and wise women to marry !!!

If what I said isn't tangible then your existence isn't tangible. Cos companionship & procreation begat you. If your father didn't enjoy companionship at least procreation brought you to life.
I m coming for all you irresponsible men without logic.
If there are bad women, there are bad men too.
What we need is corrections solutions and not condemnation. You all can stay out of marriage but you can't outlaw marriage.
Now if you say lazy women. I belong to the league of Ngozi Okonjo Iweala, the Condoleeza Rice and co. I m a trained lawyer earning my dough. So.. I m not a liability.

pappilo:
Bro whatever you do, do not, I repeat, do not get married! You will always regret it. I love my late dad, he was the best dad anyone could ask for but if I see him in the afterlife, I will ask him why he never told me the truth about marriage and advise me no to get married.

Love someone (with sense), have children, live together but never ever sign your life away. Finally do not let any woman you are with know everything about you.

The first thing that deteriorates after marriage is your sex life. I think its a psychological thing. Maybe the subconscious feeling that you've both got each other for 'life' messes with the brain.

I was married for 14 years. My ex-wife started a relationship with a work colleague and a month after using the police to kick me out of my house, the dude left his own family and moved into my house.

I was charged with several offences for an altercation I had with the guy when I caught him in my house. My ex-wife (we were still married at the time) the mother of my children came to the crown court to testify against me on his behalf. The jury saw through their lies and determination to send me to prison and acquited me on all charges (over 5)

Its been a few years but I still shudder at the thought that I believed so much in this woman and chose her over my own siblings.

Attached is msg I got from her this morning. This is despite her taking the house which I put
down 66% of the deposit. This woman earns almost double what I earn and I pay her over a quarter of my net earnings for child maintenance.

You'll probably still go ahead and get married but its almost guaranteed that one day in the future you will look back and wish you heeded the advice of many people who told you not to

my God


Are you in America or Nigeria ? Please this question is very important. Where did the divorce take place

Sweetplum:
Then don't get married. No be by force

You're absolutely right. It is not by force to get married. The best life to live is single life.
Apostle Paul rightly said that is good if you can stay without a woman.

BabaIbo:
Marriage they say is a beautiful thing but if you ask many men out there what marriage is to them or what marriage has brought to them or will they get married if they are given chances to rewind time, their responses will be in negative form or NO.

That same step(marriage) is the next step to be taken by me but I have one unanswered question. I am a young man in my 30s, currently free from any dating relationship and about to begin my search for a life partner, but I like being cleared/well-informed about something before going into it.

Pardon me for this long note I am about to dish out and the question I will be asking at the end.

For sometimes now, people around me have been telling me I am next in line to get married, some telling me to ensure I bring a responsible lady home and all that.
My mom do tell me she won't rush me to get married but as an observant person you will notice she really wants me to bring a woman(wife) home.

My dad told me sometimes ago that if I don't have a lady, that maybe they should search for a young good girl for me early next year.
My younger ones are expecting me to take that step so they can start planning on theirs and all that.

All these are for their own good or benefits, I am not saying they don't deserve it but I have been trying to get a tangible reason to get married i.e what is the SPECIAL thing(benefit) it will add to my life, I am the one getting married not them.
"Na me wan wear the shoe."

A bikeman, popularly known as Okadaman that do come to my place told me story about himself and big opportunities that marriage has made him miss.

In addition to his words and those I have heard from others, the fear of things going south, disappearance of peace of mind and all that are other factors.

Presumed(anticipated) benefits which are not as they are expected to be again are)

CHILDREN: Children can be gotten without marriage, for example: C. Ronaldo, Mikel, and others did that and they are doing well.

GOOD MEALS: Foods can be gotten from outside or prepared by the man or any other person that is not a wife for the man. Moreover, how many of them can cook well like our mothers? I'm a better cook than most ladies I have come across.

COMPANIONSHIP: That is an overstatement in our present society. It is even more noticeable in dating relationship than in some marriages these days.

SEX: That is the cheapest service/thing to get after air and water(clean water is even more expensive). Moreover many marriages are lacking sexually. It is worse if the man has high sex drive aka high libido.

SUPPORT: I don't want to go there because it is an open fact that instead of getting support, the man is being leached/milked of the one he has.

HOME: I can still remember how some married men will pack their cars at the junction, stay inside their cars for long before driving home, some go to the bar/relaxation centers to chill before going home, some don even like going home. You all know why?

With all these in mind, I want to ask this question that has been bothering me because I need to sort it before taking the step...

Now, my question is "WHAT IS THE BENEFIT OF MARRIAGE TO A MAN IN THIS OUR TIME?"

PS: I used this image because what marriage did to the man in the picture is in the open

You want to get married because people are telling you to. I don't know how your getting married will help your siblings plan thier lives. You've given a lot of silly reasons. Get married when you've met the person you genuinely love. Until then, live your life. You absolutely have no reason to think of marriage now. Nobody will gain anything from your marriage.

Roseey0:
And all of us never die

I will still read about you here in nairaland.

Nevertheless, that's not my prayer

BigBashiru:
Please leave the Bible out of it and respond with the facts....

I v left Bible. Now I mentioned
1. Value in life of child. It's first gotten from homes.

2. Sense of belonging. It starts from homes.

3. Teamwork. It starts from homes.

4. Accountability. It starts from home.

5. Respect. It starts from homes.

The list is endless. A complete family ll instill all these in their children. Of course they can be gotten elsewhere. But a child that enjoyed the affection of parent ll v value in him/her.
I know some ll twist this and give samples of wayward kids raised by both parents.
But it is what it is. Marriage is bliss.
It's lawful.

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pappilo:
I have no reason to lie. I am not claiming to be a saint and after peservering for a few years after our sex ife dried up, I looked outside and didnt look back. i was determined to stay in the marriage even though it was dead for the salke of the children (dumb move). She was a good woman for many many years so a good partner can go rogue.

I can understand people can stop loving each other but I can never get over the thought of a woman i had been with for 22 years (dated for 9 years - we were teenagers when we started) had no qualms about sending me to prison for her new flame.

Those were were the worst 2 years of my life. No home, had to move into shared accomodation, something I had never done in all my life in the abroad , had to sell my car and, took on so much debt to pay almost £20,000 in solicitor/barrister fees, took a second job doing 12 hours night shift in a factory. All this was going on with the prospect of prison time and a criminal record.

Those were really dark days and I contemplated suicide. The ironic thing is, it was a woman who helped me through those very dark times. i honestly believe if that woman wasnt in my life in that period, I wouldnt be here today.

I know this is a bit off topic. I am sorry but this is like therapy for me..

. I can see that you have a lot of things to say . Pls and pls create topic for this .

I don't know why some boys will keep crying about benefits of marriage to men. If e no get benefit for you, stay single and shut up.
Las las when we look at it well, men benefit more from marriage than women. Just that the society has wired our women to see marriage as do or die and make men think they are doing a woman a favor by marrying her. Rubbish.

Nazgul:
Marriage became useless to men because we abandoned our culture and tradition and embraced that of the Western world.

When you start sleeping with girls from the age of 16 and have a body count of close to 50 girls by the time you're 30, what usefulness do you expect to get from marriage? Truth is even you the man wouldn't value the marriage and would immediately resume your sexcapade after your honeymoon

The only way to restore decorum in African marriages is to embrace back our culture.

Pre marital sex must be seen as an abomination, those who practice it would be banished from their community.

Virginity test should be one of the requirements a girl must possess before marriage can take place, this will reduce promiscuity in girls.

A law should be passed that ràpists would earn in instant death sentence upon conviction. This would reduce promiscuity in guys cos no one would be willing to risk his life for a few minutes of pleasure.

Also there should be laws governing marriages that would make unfaithful partners risk jail term.

Once this measures can be put in place, I strongly believe that marriages would become as rosy as it was meant to be. And wouldn't be useless to both men and women.

What a fool

BabaIbo:
Marriage they say is a beautiful thing but if you ask many men out there what marriage is to them or what marriage has brought to them or will they get married if they are given chances to rewind time, their responses will be in negative form or NO.

That same step(marriage) is the next step to be taken by me but I have one unanswered question. I am a young man in my 30s, currently free from any dating relationship and about to begin my search for a life partner, but I like being cleared/well-informed about something before going into it.

Pardon me for this long note I am about to dish out and the question I will be asking at the end.

For sometimes now, people around me have been telling me I am next in line to get married, some telling me to ensure I bring a responsible lady home and all that.
My mom do tell me she won't rush me to get married but as an observant person you will notice she really wants me to bring a woman(wife) home.

My dad told me sometimes ago that if I don't have a lady, that maybe they should search for a young good girl for me early next year.
My younger ones are expecting me to take that step so they can start planning on theirs and all that.

All these are for their own good or benefits, I am not saying they don't deserve it but I have been trying to get a tangible reason to get married i.e what is the SPECIAL thing(benefit) it will add to my life, I am the one getting married not them.
"Na me wan wear the shoe."

A bikeman, popularly known as Okadaman that do come to my place told me story about himself and big opportunities that marriage has made him miss.

In addition to his words and those I have heard from others, the fear of things going south, disappearance of peace of mind and all that are other factors.

Presumed(anticipated) benefits which are not as they are expected to be again are)

CHILDREN: Children can be gotten without marriage, for example: C. Ronaldo, Mikel, and others did that and they are doing well.

GOOD MEALS: Foods can be gotten from outside or prepared by the man or any other person that is not a wife for the man. Moreover, how many of them can cook well like our mothers? I'm a better cook than most ladies I have come across.

COMPANIONSHIP: That is an overstatement in our present society. It is even more noticeable in dating relationship than in some marriages these days.

SEX: That is the cheapest service/thing to get after air and water(clean water is even more expensive). Moreover many marriages are lacking sexually. It is worse if the man has high sex drive aka high libido.

SUPPORT: I don't want to go there because it is an open fact that instead of getting support, the man is being leached/milked of the one he has.

HOME: I can still remember how some married men will pack their cars at the junction, stay inside their cars for long before driving home, some go to the bar/relaxation centers to chill before going home, some don even like going home. You all know why?

With all these in mind, I want to ask this question that has been bothering me because I need to sort it before taking the step...

Now, my question is "WHAT IS THE BENEFIT OF MARRIAGE TO A MAN IN THIS OUR TIME?"

PS: I used this image because what marriage did to the man in the picture is in the open

I don't think you have any interest in marriage

So do which ever that suits you

So far you will birth a child/children that will take care of your when you are very very old that you can't help yourself again

Sweetplum:
Then don't get married. No be by force

Aunty ehhhhh, u just carry marriage matter for head, abi u dun tire to dey do asoebi for people?

pappilo:
Bro whatever you do, do not, I repeat, do not get married! You will always regret it. I love my late dad, he was the best dad anyone could ask for but if I see him in the afterlife, I will ask him why he never told me the truth about marriage and advise me no to get married.

Love someone (with sense), have children, live together but never ever sign your life away. Finally do not let any woman you are with know everything about you.

The first thing that deteriorates after marriage is your sex life. I think its a psychological thing. Maybe the subconscious feeling that you've both got each other for 'life' messes with the brain.

I was married for 14 years. My ex-wife started a relationship with a work colleague and a month after using the police to kick me out of my house, the dude left his own family and moved into my house.

I was charged with several offences for an altercation I had with the guy when I caught him in my house. My ex-wife (we were still married at the time) the mother of my children came to the crown court to testify against me on his behalf. The jury saw through their lies and determination to send me to prison and acquited me on all charges (over 5)

Its been a few years but I still shudder at the thought that I believed so much in this woman and chose her over my own siblings.

Attached is msg I got from her this morning. This is despite her taking the house which I put
down 66% of the deposit. This woman earns almost double what I earn and I pay her over a quarter of my net earnings for child maintenance.

You'll probably still go ahead and get married but its almost guaranteed that one day in the future you will look back and wish you heeded the advice of many people who told you not to

Speak for your self. Sorry for your situation. I'm sure you saw some red flags but chose to go ahead with the marriage. There are bad marriages and there are good ones. Everybody's marriage won't end up like yours.

BabaIbo:
I am telling you, "More like I know this is not advantageous OR beneficial but lemme just do it anyway."


Are you saying other kids are not raised responsibly?
I mean kids in Mikel, Ronaldo, Techno, Patoranking etc kind of union.

Moreover, is it every kids in marriage that are responsible?

Let me be clear with you on this, you may choose to belive what you like but, marriage has alot of benefits and advantages, and few, if at all, downsides. Infact research suggest married people on average tend to be happier and live longer than the unmarried. However, you tend to be, as it seems, not to be a fan a fan of it, and that's fine and totally acceptable, as marriage itself ain't for everyone (and it dosen't determine ones moral compass). No one should be pressured about it since as with almost everything in life its a matter of choice. Besides, With marriage comes finacial obligation and other responsibilities .

cococandy:
None. Don’t do it

them don carry this one go abroad, e turn feminist then wan comot the marriage and chop property.

Death to ANY man wey take Nigerian woman abroad

mecussey:
LOL, you used C Ronaldo and mikel as examples, those two are married. When two come together to procreate, cohabit, with the consent of the parents, they become one and as matter of fact married. Africans took it extreme and made it look like marriage is expensive. Just get a babe, and procreate with her with the consent of her parents.

The problem we have is African marriage... If you want to avoid those problems you listed there, just get a girl and start living together. The benefits of having a woman by your side is the children and the children needs security. If you don't cohabit with a woman, the children will lack.

Note that forces beyond human understanding will worry you to go public with weddings and the nonsense, just block your ear until you achieve all your goals.

However, if you are not financially stable, do not marry/cohabit/procreate yet. E get why

LoL, C. Ronaldo and Mikel are married, na im dem dey call their girls BabyMamas OR girlfriends anytime them wan address them?

pappilo:
Bro whatever you do, do not, I repeat, do not get married! You will always regret it. I love my late dad, he was the best dad anyone could ask for but if I see him in the afterlife, I will ask him why he never told me the truth about marriage and advise me no to get married.

Love someone (with sense), have children, live together but never ever sign your life away. Finally do not let any woman you are with know everything about you.

The first thing that deteriorates after marriage is your sex life. I think its a psychological thing. Maybe the subconscious feeling that you've both got each other for 'life' messes with the brain.

I was married for 14 years. My ex-wife started a relationship with a work colleague and a month after using the police to kick me out of my house, the dude left his own family and moved into my house.

I was charged with several offences for an altercation I had with the guy when I caught him in my house. My ex-wife (we were still married at the time) the mother of my children came to the crown court to testify against me on his behalf. The jury saw through their lies and determination to send me to prison and acquited me on all charges (over 5)

Its been a few years but I still shudder at the thought that I believed so much in this woman and chose her over my own siblings.

Attached is msg I got from her this morning. This is despite her taking the house which I put
down 66% of the deposit. This woman earns almost double what I earn and I pay her over a quarter of my net earnings for child maintenance.

You'll probably still go ahead and get married but its almost guaranteed that one day in the future you will look back and wish you heeded the advice of many people who told you not to

The incident of using police to kick you out of your house, did that happen in Nigeria or outside??

pappilo:
Bro whatever you do, do not, I repeat, do not get married! You will always regret it. I love my late dad, he was the best dad anyone could ask for but if I see him in the afterlife, I will ask him why he never told me the truth about marriage and advise me no to get married.

Love someone (with sense), have children, live together but never ever sign your life away. Finally do not let any woman you are with know everything about you.

The first thing that deteriorates after marriage is your sex life. I think its a psychological thing. Maybe the subconscious feeling that you've both got each other for 'life' messes with the brain.

I was married for 14 years. My ex-wife started a relationship with a work colleague and a month after using the police to kick me out of my house, the dude left his own family and moved into my house.

I was charged with several offences for an altercation I had with the guy when I caught him in my house. My ex-wife (we were still married at the time) the mother of my children came to the crown court to testify against me on his behalf. The jury saw through their lies and determination to send me to prison and acquited me on all charges (over 5)

Its been a few years but I still shudder at the thought that I believed so much in this woman and chose her over my own siblings.

Attached is msg I got from her this morning. This is despite her taking the house which I put
down 66% of the deposit. This woman earns almost double what I earn and I pay her over a quarter of my net earnings for child maintenance.

You'll probably still go ahead and get married but its almost guaranteed that one day in the future you will look back and wish you heeded the advice of many people who told you not to

Omo x1000

If I marry for this life Mek I bend.
Jesus!!!

pappilo:
I have no reason to lie. I am not claiming to be a saint and after peservering for a few years after our sex ife dried up, I looked outside and didnt look back. i was determined to stay in the marriage even though it was dead for the salke of the children (dumb move). She was a good woman for many many years so a good partner can go rogue.

I can understand people can stop loving each other but I can never get over the thought of a woman i had been with for 22 years (dated for 9 years - we were teenagers when we started) had no qualms about sending me to prison for her new flame.

Those were were the worst 2 years of my life. No home, had to move into shared accomodation, something I had never done in all my life in the abroad , had to sell my car and, took on so much debt to pay almost £20,000 in solicitor/barrister fees, took a second job doing 12 hours night shift in a factory. All this was going on with the prospect of prison time and a criminal record.

Those were really dark days and I contemplated suicide. The ironic thing is, it was a woman who helped me through those very dark times. i honestly believe if that woman wasnt in my life in that period, I wouldnt be here today.

I know this is a bit off topic. I am sorry but this is like therapy for me..

Bro.. Your mental health is most important, you should also priortize it.

I do hope you are still allowed to see your children.?

Sunnyski:
You're absolutely right. It is not by force to get married. The best life to live is single life.
Apostle Paul rightly said that is good if you can stay without a woman.

Apostle Paul that you mentioned also told we women to be submissive to our husbands. This same Paul also said you men should love your wives very well. This is in Ephesians 5:22-33.
So... bros this is about logic. No be do or die. Marriage isn't by force. Let no unfortunate never do well boy come n derail the minds of sane people.
The Goddess has spoken.

Nothing inside marriage. If you want it to be a little manageable just have money. Make sure you have a private room as a man where you can rest your head and relax. The worst is sharing one room with a woman with all their properties inside! Its sickening to me!